Absolutely fricking hilarious. The developers must be so ashamed and embarrassed, kek.

Absolutely fricking hilarious. The developers must be so ashamed and embarrassed, kek.

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  1. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >game is a 1/10 max
    >somehow still gets 4/10
    so this... is the AAA bonus...

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Getting a 4/10 from IGN and their 7-10 scoring system is a feat in and of itself.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        yep it's why you know it's good.
        a work enraging critics, zoomers, and redditors this much is Art with a capital A

        >If you want a game where you stealth kill your way through hordes of works with slick parkour and funky power ups, this aint the game for you. Try shadow of war. But if you want to be a pathetic little creature scampering around in all sorts of filth and muck, its great.

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          From my perspective, it actually condemns your game greatly. If not even the normiest of normalgays want your AAAslop, you know somethings gone wrong

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            >If not even the normiest of normalgays want your AAAslop, you know somethings gone wrong
            Drakengard is one of the greatest games ever made. It is also completely unplayable for anyone who doesn't have a deep appreciation for video games as an art form.

            • 10 months ago
              Anonymous

              and yet it got 23 more points on metacritic than this pile of shit

            • 10 months ago
              Anonymous

              Drakengard is shit to play and the characters and development is nonsense. If i was told the writer was drunk (think it was yoko taro) while making it, I'd believe it

              • 10 months ago
                Anonymous

                Yoko Taro has stated he often writes while drunk in interviews, if memory serves right.

              • 10 months ago
                Anonymous

                That would explain it. I was about to blame him for kurayami dance hit then I remembered that was suda

              • 10 months ago
                Anonymous

                >drunk
                He is a fullblown headcase, he doesn't need alcohol

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      PCGamer gave it a 64%
      How

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        >absolute shit ton of potential for videogames of any kind in the LoTR/Hobbit universe
        >Even stupid shit like a racing game has the potential to be good
        >"dude what if you played as a little moron scrambling across the floor shouting nonsense while npcs make fun of you"
        Honest to fricking god, what were they thinking?

        How many fricking more flops is it gonna take until these greedy buttholes stop raping LOTR?

        They could've made a game with these fricking chads
        Hopefully their takeaway from this isn't:
        This sold bad = LOTR games will sell bad

        pitiful
        >you will never expose yourself to work that challenges the status quo
        >you will always agree with the hive mind
        >you will never step outside your comfort zone, >you will be a consumer to the very end

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          >different so it must be good
          kys

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            >its different so it must be bad
            kys zoomer

            >The developers must be so ashamed and embarrassed
            Unlikely. It's much more likely that there's a whole bunch of "I told you so" aimed at particular managers.

            There have been hundreds of great games, books, films, albums etc that no-one was asking for because they didn't know that thing could exist yet. Consumer demand isn't the exclusive reason to produce something, and art is subjective.

            • 10 months ago
              Anonymous

              My post had nothing to do with consumer demand.

            • 10 months ago
              Anonymous

              No it's bad because it uses over 8GB on low with DLSS and extremely bad pixelization. And despite this looks worse than games that ran on 1gb vram

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          >>you will be a consumer to the very end
          >he posts while defending literal slop he wants to consume

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            It is not slop it is a subversive work of art. In fact, it is a long tradition in the arts such as there are fiction centered around Barabbas in the Jesus story. Gollum's only mistake is believing the mainstream slop crowd would be open minded.

            • 10 months ago
              Anonymous

              xD

            • 10 months ago
              Anonymous

              advanced shitposting

            • 10 months ago
              Anonymous

              >subversive work of art
              That's the safe term for "garbage". Always has been.

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          This “challenge to the status quo” is a stealth game / life sim made by morons and it sucks.

          I would honestly rather play a Yakuza style game as Faramir in Minas Tirith and Osgiliath.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            This sounds like it would be fun
            Prefer Boromir but yeah

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Yes, it is. You barely see a game rated under that nowadays.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Poor c**ts spent a lot of years working on this. Probably thought it may have been their big break after years of making cheap graphic adventure titles.

      This game is nowhere near AAA

  2. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >a few points higher than the last
    Gollumchads stay winning

  3. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    They should just remaster the old games if they run out of ideas. Gollum is just a side character who's barely interesting

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >absolute shit ton of potential for videogames of any kind in the LoTR/Hobbit universe
      >Even stupid shit like a racing game has the potential to be good
      >"dude what if you played as a little moron scrambling across the floor shouting nonsense while NPCs make fun of you"
      Honest to fricking god, what were they thinking?

      They could've made a game with these fricking chads
      Hopefully their takeaway from this isn't:
      This sold bad = LOTR games will sell bad

      You guys are baffling. The concept of a stealth puzzle platformer where you play as Gollum is actually intriguing, and that's what the marketing was banking on. The game just sucks so completely in terms of execution that the core idea doesn't even matter. And that's not so surprising once you learn that the developer had only ever made graphic adventure games before this.

      I'm going to be brutally honest. The reason eurojank is a thing is because that entire continent has a dearth of technical talent and somehow doesn't even realize it. There is simply no way American games investors would bankroll a AAA project from a developer known for 2d point-and-click adventure games. They'd know better. And what makes it worse is the European games industry is full of pretentious writers and artists who poopoo American sensibilities, but then faceplant when making their own game because they don't have anyone who understands software.

      Except for Sweden, you guys are cool.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        euro studios have more lax work cultures so they cant be run into the ground with crunch
        the tradeoff is obvious.

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          >euro studios have more lax work cultures so they cant be run into the ground with crunch
          the tradeoff is obvious
          No, this isn't it because within Europe there's no correlation. As I mentioned, Sweden is an exception. Their game dev (and software dev generally) punches well above its weight class, and they have super generous labor rights. I think it probably has to do with English literacy because English is the language of tech. An English fluent country is probably circulating documentation, standards, and learning resources so they can benefit from American tech design innovation. A country that is less fluent is probably more insular and embraces a culture of figuring shit out on your own and hacking stuff together.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        Ehh, Eurojank is much less of a thing these days than it used to be, but it is definitely disappointing to see their output when I know the potential is there somewhere.

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          I don't think this has anything to do with euro devs but Daedalic in particular just not being a good studio. They haven't released a single good game in 15 years of existence and people shouldn't be surprised when this higher budget game from them completely falls flat as well. Other euro studios have no problems releasing good games.

          The euro scene is improving and I should be rooting for them. But the Euro-RPG elitists piss me the frick off because they parade around like their games are so complex when it's all superficial UI shit and the backend systems are rather shallow.

          >You guys are baffling. The concept of a stealth puzzle platformer where you play as Gollum is actually intriguing, and that's what the marketing was banking on
          or they could have just looked on their right and notice shadow of war then uppen that shit.
          nooo, they had to try moronic shit with the deliberately annoying character, fricking shit up.
          the rest is true.

          >or they could have just looked on their right and notice shadow of war then uppen that shit
          Lmao they are not even close to being able to make a game like Shadow of Mordor. Tech is not just graphics. I'm not even all that interested in graphics, I'm more of a backend guy. And you can clearly tell the Gollum devs are way out of their depth when it comes to system design.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            Seeing someone try to do something interesting and fail is always more appealing than a product that was designed to exclusively appeal to focus groups and competently made.

            • 10 months ago
              Anonymous

              See it's this fricking attitude right here. I don't even play many Rockstar and Ubi games because I think the design is a little generic, but I can at least respect that they're very well engineered. And I do play and enjoy plenty of indies because I like stuff that attempts to be novel. But lots of Euro games like Gollum are very obviously trying to be big AAA titles. Why the frick else would they continually try to push for the most realistic graphics possible despite how horrendously janky and unoptimized the results are? They just fall back on the excuse of being oh so auteur and charming when they fail.

              You know what's a good Euro-RPG that's faithful to the subgenre while having an infinitely better grasp of design than its peers? Roadwarden. It knows it's a text-heavy page turner and leans into it. The browntone pixel art is *chefs kiss*. THAT is actually unique and auteur. Not these hacks who try and fail to make more ambitious games than they can manage and then cry about it.

              • 10 months ago
                Anonymous

                >Why the frick else would they continually try to push for the most realistic graphics possible despite how horrendously janky and unoptimized the results are?
                because it's easier to make them photo realistic and add post processing and shaders these days.
                it's your fricking attitude in that everything has to be perfect even though you reluctantly play shit you find generic. learn to have fun.

              • 10 months ago
                Anonymous

                >it's your fricking attitude in that everything has to be perfect even though you reluctantly play shit you find generic. learn to have fun.
                I just told you a game I liked that came out less than a year ago. I'm also really enjoying Tears of the Kingdom. And I don't need games to be perfect, I'm tolerating some annoying render bugs in Civ V right now. But I didn't struggle my way through a CS and Math degree so a bunch of fanfiction hacks could talk down to me about how deep and complex their game is when their process for designing rule sets is throwing as many random and shallow mechanics into the pot as possible and hoping something resembling intriguing gameplay emerges from the ooze. They lack an intuitive feel for what is and isn't a good model.

              • 10 months ago
                Anonymous

                no one even heard of your niche game, and you and everyone else is playing the latest Zelda, it's par the course.

              • 10 months ago
                Anonymous

                >that game is too niche
                >that game is too popular
                Maybe I have the capacity to form my own opinions instead of reflexively agreeing/disagreeing with everyone else?

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Tech is not just graphics
            homie go pirate it, it's not "just" graphics, the ork characterization is what is important, they only need to fix a few unskippable shit here and there to make it a good AAA game, they already copied the best part of AC and arkham city.

            • 10 months ago
              Anonymous

              I've seen how the companion system works (with hardcoded triggers). Yes, it is just graphics.

              • 10 months ago
                Anonymous

                >ork companion on shadows of mordor series
                lol
                lmao even

                >no combat at all
                >basic as shit stealth
                >dialogue trees with yourself
                >multiple sections of slave labor
                >multiple sections of guiding another person through slave labor
                >constant soft locks and glitches
                >60 bucks. 70 if you want emotes
                This is true cancer

                >no combat
                but muh stealth!!

              • 10 months ago
                Anonymous

                Oh my god, I was talking about the Gollum devs. I was specifically mentioning that Shadow of Mordor's systems were something they WOULDN'T be able to implement. I wasn't throwing shade at Monolith.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        >You guys are baffling. The concept of a stealth puzzle platformer where you play as Gollum is actually intriguing, and that's what the marketing was banking on
        or they could have just looked on their right and notice shadow of war then uppen that shit.
        nooo, they had to try moronic shit with the deliberately annoying character, fricking shit up.
        the rest is true.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        AAA games based on non gaming properties almost always bad because the rights are managed by people who have no idea how to handle gaming and then the development itself is ran by a think tank running everything off of data sets that have no actual meaning in real life, just look at harry potter it took 10+ years after franchise was relevant to get a half decent game that still suffers from the same problem a lot of AAA titles do

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        I don't think this has anything to do with euro devs but Daedalic in particular just not being a good studio. They haven't released a single good game in 15 years of existence and people shouldn't be surprised when this higher budget game from them completely falls flat as well. Other euro studios have no problems releasing good games.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        You are fricking moronic

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        >The concept of a stealth puzzle platformer where you play as Gollum is actually intriguing
        True but this game is so bad no one will admit that

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        >The concept of a stealth puzzle platformer where you play as Gollum is actually intriguing

        the concept of playing as your mom's panties is also intriguing. It doesn't mean it's a good premise for a game.

  4. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >design a stealth game based around Gollum
    >it starts off as a life sim set in prison

    Who in the actual kek made these decisions

  5. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >absolute shit ton of potential for videogames of any kind in the LoTR/Hobbit universe
    >Even stupid shit like a racing game has the potential to be good
    >"dude what if you played as a little moron scrambling across the floor shouting nonsense while NPCs make fun of you"
    Honest to fricking god, what were they thinking?

  6. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    How many fricking more flops is it gonna take until these greedy buttholes stop raping LOTR?

  7. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    They could've made a game with these fricking chads
    Hopefully their takeaway from this isn't:
    This sold bad = LOTR games will sell bad

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Hopefully their takeaway from this isn't:
      >This sold bad = LOTR games will sell bad
      Hopefully it is. LoTR doesn't deserve any more shit games.

  8. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >The developers must be so ashamed and embarrassed
    Unlikely. It's much more likely that there's a whole bunch of "I told you so" aimed at particular managers.

  9. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Ganker is actually going around defending this goyslop because ebin contrarianism. The game is genuine garbage and beats Jedi survivor for worst PC release of the year in performance.

  10. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    User score will be 9/10

  11. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >saw a gameplay
    >full of stutters and graphical issues
    It's a Unreal game, isn't it

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      no anon it's based because it runs like shit

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      UE4, yes. The goyslop engine.

  12. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    People only hate because it has a Mexican protagonist.

  13. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >3070 minimum
    >over 8GB VRAM usage on low
    >DLSS required
    >pixelization everywhere
    >Bad voice acting
    >Framerate gets so stuttery that the game begins skipping frames and teleporting you around
    >bad graphics

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >One review on Steam said he had a 3080
      >Got 2 FPS

      Two frames per second.

  14. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    This whole game feels like a money laundering scheme.

  15. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Congrats on Gollum for beating Jedi Survivor, RE4, Hogwarts Legacy and Last of us for worst optimized PC game of 2023

  16. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Let me guess, losers are mad about the existence of black people again

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      No, that's the /mtg/ thread crying about Black Aragorn

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      they can exist, just not in my virtual reality

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        >My
        You don't own shit

  17. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    how did this game review so low, literally what is wrong with it. from what I've seen it's a competent and decent game?

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Ugly graphics
      Buggy as shit
      Shitty gameplay

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Very competent. Very decent.

      ?t=91

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        >can't disable motion blur
        Even the fricking japs figured this one out, there's no excuse.

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          >gets sick from motion blur
          pussy homosexual

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            It's just ugly as frick

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            I don't get sick from it, it just looks like shit.
            >but it makes it more cinemati-
            Exactly. Frick you.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous
      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        >nitpicking this hard
        why are they doing this though, honestly

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          >game stutters so bad it teleports you
          >"WHY ARE THEY NITPICKING?!"

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            he never even lowers the resolution, and he spends a lot of time in the menu instead of just playing and letting the game cache shaders

            • 10 months ago
              Anonymous

              Ganker genuinely will defend anything for contrarianism good boy points.

              • 10 months ago
                Anonymous

                like Black person, it boggles my mind how entitled gamers are now. it makes no sense, I've never seen someone complain so much about a game and spend so much time in the settings.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        why doesn't this moron lower the resolution
        HEY moron TURN THE RES DOWN

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          >You need to play 720p on a 4060 TI for this game
          And the stuttering seems to be related to the game itself and not the card since it seems to persist regardless of settings or card

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          he already turned it down to fricking 1080p. yeah dawg just play your 2023 video at 720p on PC because the optimization doesn't exist.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            >he already turned it down to fricking 1080p.
            the frick is up with modern gamers
            turn the resolution down further, you morons.
            to spend so much time in the settings menu and to not toggle down such an important dial.

            • 10 months ago
              Anonymous

              The problem is stuttering moron. He's getting 100+ FPS yet it stutters horribly. Turning down the resolution won't help.

              • 10 months ago
                Anonymous

                then that makes mucking around in the settings the entire video even more of an egregious sin. he should just play the damn game. the shaders were caching and during sections where he died and reloaded they ran smoothly.

              • 10 months ago
                Anonymous

                It's a frickin benchmark video, moron. He's going to mess around with settings because it's a benchmark video, not a gameplay video.

              • 10 months ago
                Anonymous

                that's fricking moronic.
                and who ever linked it in this thread is moronic.
                so you are the homosexuals reviewing the game poorly.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        >dicks around so much he lets the orcs get away and loses the mission
        Black, play the game

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          I don't own a 4090 TI

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >competent

      bruh the game runs like straight ass

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      you play as the most despised character in the francise, what did they think would happen?

  18. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Ganker midwit spergs yet again conflating like the idea of something different with assuming that the quality of the actual end product is excellent
    shut the frick up jesus fricking christ sometimes garbage is just garbage and not le epic misunderstood filtering masterpiece that only le epic kinoludo gentlesir chads can understand goddammit shut the frick up you stupid c**ts

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      At least we aren't in a point where they start making wojaks and shitting on better games.

  19. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    The developers probably knew exactly what they were making and the state it was in, same with QA as well, management released this not them.

  20. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    im curious to how the switch and ps4 ports work out. surely they can't be poorly optimized given the hardware

  21. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Gollum chads....?

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Gollum chads
      No such thing.

  22. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    The game is fricking great, a solid 7/10 homosexuals.
    Its a stealth fricking game, sorry it doesn't cater to you ADHD CoD kiddies.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      post hours

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Thinks the gameplay is the issue and not the insane stuttering and graphical glitches
      How can you even play this? Like it is genuinely unplayable.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Paid $50 for eurojank
      >Defends it
      >Anime girl poster

      Kek

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >The game is fricking great, a solid 7/10 homosexuals.

  23. 10 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Does Gollum use facts and logic in the game?

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        he owns sauron with facts and logic

  24. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    The Lord of the Sneeds- Chuckllum

  25. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Wait, it's out?

  26. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Germans don’t have emotions

  27. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    cant wait to play it in a humble bundle monthly 6 months from now

  28. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >no combat at all
    >basic as shit stealth
    >dialogue trees with yourself
    >multiple sections of slave labor
    >multiple sections of guiding another person through slave labor
    >constant soft locks and glitches
    >60 bucks. 70 if you want emotes
    This is true cancer

  29. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    What the last time a big game got such a low score?

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      i wouldn't say it's big, it was made by eurojank devs...

  30. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    You can beat this game under 9h and 5h of that is story lmao

  31. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Watched Vei playing it today. It's really hilariously bad.

  32. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Redfall devs when no longer WGOTY

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