>Can't jump as high as actual gymnasts can in real life.

>Can't jump as high as actual gymnasts can in real life.
I'm convinced the reason martials suck so much in D&D is because the writers are all fat nerds who can't comprehend someone being physically fit.

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  1. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Love the porn of her

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      I'm more of a Sheila guy.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Why not both?
        At the same time?
        Making out with each other.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        >redhead
        >bob haircut
        >perky breasts
        >miniskirt
        >thigh-highs
        they frickin knew very well what they were doing

  2. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >because the writers were all bunch of balding dudes in their late 40s and 50s and their concept of "physically fit" was iffy
    ftfy

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >ftfy
      Nah, you really didn't. Gygax was in his 30s, Blume was in his 20s, Arneson was in 20s or 30s depending on if you want to look at him creating Greyhawk or when AD&D was published, Kaye didn't even live to reach his 40s. The closest you got is that thief-acrobat was written by Gygax at 44 so he's in is 40s but not late 40s so you can't even get it right there.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        It's the last part that's important, not their age. None of those men were in the kind of physical shape you'd need to be to not die quick as an adventurer not relying on magic.

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          You don’t necessarily know that.
          There was a time when physical activity was universal. Gygax himself was an avid bow hunter. And while that doesn’t necessarily mean he was in top shape it does involve prolonged isometrics and some decent cardio as well

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            >A fat Yehova witness is actually fit, because he shoots a target in his backyard
            So your BMI is >30 or >35?

            • 10 months ago
              Anonymous

              >hunting only involves shooting at a target in a fixed location
              So your IQ is <70 or <50?

              • 10 months ago
                Anonymous

                >Sarcasm-blind
                >Asks about IQ

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        >necroing a dead thread to just go "uhhh actually...."

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          >you can't be right if you're late

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        >moron confused decades
        They were all in their early 40s and completely out of shape when sitting to DnD

  3. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    It's because DMs and archmages are cooler.

  4. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Pathfinder nerfed a weapon cord item by making it take a move action instead of a free action to make it impossible for gunslingers to shoot fast, with the only given reason being one of the devs tying his mouse to his wrist and failing to catch it when he tried
    As if someone that's been training at that shit for years is exactly the same as some fat frick rpg writer from Seattle

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >I'm convinced the reason martials suck so much in D&D is because the writers are all fat nerds who can't comprehend someone being physically fit.
      This is unironically probably not far off for the older editions. 5e martials get fricked because fat nerds demanded it after 4e put martials on the same level.

      Bulmahn should never live this down. Even when presented with evidence contrary to his own conclusions he was unable to budge on the matter because of the epic self-own involved.

      Sadly, D&D will continue to be moronic because that's what people want.

  5. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Did someone say martials?

  6. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >I'm convinced the reason martials suck so much in D&D is because the writers are all fat nerds who can't comprehend someone being physically fit.
    Yeah, we pretty much cracked that years ago.
    Where have you been?

  7. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Reminder they never return home and she has a kid with the mage.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Lies

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        This dumb thing provided a sense of closure I didn't even know I needed.

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          Work on your art

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        >0:24 to 0:26

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Why would you want to return to Earth anyway? So you can go to college and become an accountant?

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        I'm more weirded out they have the whole fantasy world to pick from and they just go the childhood friend route.
        It really is like one of my harem animes.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          On the other hand, nobody from the fantasy world will be able to understand you like another earthling

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            Elf breasts.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        Maybe at some point they all got to ponder an orb or something and see what their lives on Earth would become if they get back. They'd promise to stay in contact but they drift away as the memories fade and they wonder if it was just a dream.

        Hank the ranger get committed to an institution for years due to his claims of having visited another world, eventually let out when he learns to keep shut up about it. Becomes an innawoods semi-hermit unable to deal with modern bullshit dies of flu one winter in his 50s. Made no real human contact, estranged from his family. The others learned from him not to talk about what they'd seen.

        Eric gets sent to the military by his family to streighten him out and clear his head of faniciful childish notions of drgons and unicorns. Bullied relentlessly, dies in a friendly fire incident.

        Diana falls in with a bad crowd, a string of failed relationships, four kids to 3 different fathers. Never does anything with her life of note. Her children are disapointments to her and her parents as without a strong father figure they have police records. Dies of liver failure in her 60s due to drink.

        Presto gets all of the student debt. Gets stuck in some dead end technician job to pay it off. Yearns for the old magic. Staring down 40 more years of wage/debt slavery he hangs himself

        Sheila gets an office job. Get's married in her 30s more for fear of loneliness than love. Has a daughter she isn't super close with. Lives and dies mediocre.

        Bobby becomes a boxer. Never makes it big. Get's punch drunk. Gives up on it and gets a job in a warehouse and dies age 49 due to a stroke probably caused by getting punched in the head a lot. Only person that really cared he was dead was Sheila.

        Whereas if they stay they get to go on adventures and live lives of mighty deeds worth telling stories of that will be remembered for generations, thier names spoken of in legends that will be retold until the end of time.

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          Anon, modern medicine, working toilets, and electricity.
          Having salted pork be the best thing in the world is such a dreadful thing.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            They live in adventure colorful magic world, not misery porn mudcore world.

            • 10 months ago
              Anonymous

              I'm not living in a world without plumbing.

              • 10 months ago
                Anonymous

                >I don't want to be a legendary hero wallowing in treasure and accolades!
                >I need my flushable toilets and heckin' chonker funkorinos!

              • 10 months ago
                Anonymous

                >>I need my flushable toilets
                Yes. Have you never lived in a place where the only way to go was a shitty wooden outhouse or burying your shit in the sand? Awful.

              • 10 months ago
                Anonymous

                Unless you're implying that you would be responsible for digging the pits/emptying them yourself (which... legendary hero with buttloads of money), it REALLY isn't that bad.

              • 10 months ago
                Anonymous

                No anon, you sit your ass down on a dirty splintery piece of wood or hard brick of stone and then say that getting shot at by goblins is a good trade.

              • 10 months ago
                Anonymous

                >accolades
                I like the idea that they eventually, mostly by accident, founded a new kingdom.

                Sheila get's married to the son of a waystation owner and the inn becomes the party's base of operations for a long time. She eventaully has a family with him. They inherit the inn and run it succesfully for many years before handing it to one of thier children. She outlives her husband by a few years and dies age 93 surrounded by children, grandchildren and great-granchildren.

                Hank wandered the roads, keeping them safe from bandits and raiders and other ne'er-do-wells. Other people came to him for help and some came to him for teaching before going off to do as he was. Eventually there were so many people trained by Hank or by people Hank had trained that they formed up into a new order of Paladin-Sheriffs. Hank would evnetually settle down with a big tiddy elf wife in a forest home not far from the Sheila's inn. He was much loved by the elves. Dies in his late 70s, his family and the elves mourn one so great dying so young.

                Eric by one misadventure after another founds a militia of disgruntled farmers who had had one too many orc raids. Ends up at the head of a crusade against the orcish hordes. Dies in combat against the last of the great orc bandit-kings. His face is on the coinage, there are statues of him and after the orcs were civilized by the new kingdom the orcs have his dying day as a minor religious festival. It was the brutal rebirth of thier kind.

                Bobby was part of Eric's crusade and took up the role as it's new champion. Nobody was going to argue as he grew up to be a 7' tall gigachad. Set up his throne in Venger's old castle and declared himself king, nobody argued. Was a remarkably good king and his new nation grew healthy and just under his rule.

              • 10 months ago
                Anonymous

                Diana and Presto worked in Sheila's inn for a long time. Presto grew in power, learning from any actual wizard willing to teach him. Applying the scientific method to his studies he found more efficient ways of doing the old spells, starting an entire new magical tradition. Presto and Diana had at least one daughter who became a spy of the new nation.

                Presto is the only one of the Earth children left alive after so many centuries having accidnetly achieved lichdom in some bullshit experiment he hasn't been able to duplicate yet. He mostly opperates out of the old inn's cellar where he compares his notes and does some of the more safe experiments. He leaves sometimes to go on expeditions to new lands, he pays the bills by taking on pupils.

              • 10 months ago
                Anonymous

                The Indus Valley civilization had that 7,000 years ago. Running water is not a matter of technology, it’s a matter of having enough density to make it worth the investment. You can have your toilet in the medieval fantasy world you get stuck in, you’ll just be seen as eccentric for wasting your time and effort on getting graded pipes and all that when there’s like 5 families in the square mile you’re homesteading and a pit toilet does essentially as well at preventing disease and protecting your drinking water for much less investment.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        In Sheila and Diana's case, so they don't die in childbirth at 16 trying to squeeze out half orcs or whatever else got them.

  8. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Yes

  9. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    You can climb a Hell of a lot faster, though. The world record for climbing a 100 foot knotted rope is something like 50 seconds. A typical 5e D&D character can do it in a bit more than 18 seconds, assuming they use the Dash action. A 3rd level Thief Rogue can do it in a bit more than 6 seconds thanks to Second-Story Work and Cunning Action.

  10. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Strong martials get you anima, and anima requires insanely advanced math (third grade) which reminds /tg/ that they never got past second grade.

  11. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Now fat women and their simps complain about the art because they can't comprehend anyone else having preferences

  12. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Might also be because "I control the forces of the universe - summoning fire, lightning, matter, and even life itself from nothing!" is a little bit different than "I can jump pretty high and hit things good with a stick."

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