here’s your G4, bro

Home Forums A haunted junk yard here’s your G4, bro

  • This topic has 49 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 7 months ago by Anonymous.
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    • #421845
      Anonymous
      Guest

      here’s your G4, bro

    • #421846
      Anonymous
      Guest

      he looks exactly as shit as I expected
      good

    • #421847
      Anonymous
      Guest

      It’s perfect. The Sess doing boomer rants into a camera is all I could ever ask for, short of having a time machine to bring Morgan Webb circa 2003 in a bikini to stand next to him.

    • #421848
      Anonymous
      Guest

      cocaine’s a hell of a drug

    • #421849
      Anonymous
      Guest

      adam sesspool

      • #421850
        Anonymous
        Guest

        adam basedler

    • #421851
      Anonymous
      Guest

      God, hes unfunny.

    • #421852
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Wow, this is awful. Nonstop extremely unfunny "jokes" and his review barely even touches on the game design or how it plays.

      >half the review is just a summary of the game’s plot
      >biggest complaint is "if you have a kid or a job it might be hard finding time to play"
      >says the card system is "super cool"…and nothing else
      >unique and memorable characters
      >"feels a bit too samey"
      >fish eye camera constantly zooming up his coke nostrils
      >"the best gun customization we’ve ever seen…if you like guns, that is

      • #421854
        Anonymous
        Guest

        >unique and memorable characters
        this is how you know he barely played it lmfao

        • #421881
          Anonymous
          Guest

          you must be too jaded to enjoy everything if you didn’t enjoy hoffman, mom, and jim

      • #421858
        Anonymous
        Guest

        It’s as if Adam aged the worst out of everyone else on that network, both physically and mentally.

    • #421853
      Anonymous
      Guest

      I get the feeling he barely plays games anymore.

      >that atrocious controller aiming

      kek

    • #421855
      Anonymous
      Guest

      New ‘jak just dropped!

    • #421856
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >everyone thought Morgan was the fake gamer girl
      >turns out it was Adam the whole time

      • #421860
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Morgan plays games?

        • #421864
          Anonymous
          Guest

          They both just had people write for them. I don’t think either of them really played that many games

      • #421862
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Nah he went into detail back in the day. This review now feels so rushed and generic, it’s obvious he barely played the game and hasn’t kept up with games over time. He seems less crackheadish now in his behavior at least.

    • #421857
      Anonymous
      Guest

      all his pros and cons are broad sweeping generalizations and his plot summary sounds like he is reading the wiki entry, did he play the fucking game? Why is his face so red?

    • #421859
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Dude needs to go to a doctor or something, his head is so red he looks like he’s about to have a heart attack.

    • #421861
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Be honest Ganker: G4 were always casuals and you found them cool just because seeing your niche hobby discussed on tv was novel at the time, right?

      • #421866
        Anonymous
        Guest

        I liked TechTV.

        • #421873
          Anonymous
          Guest

          this and fuck G4 that bought it out solely just to murder it

      • #421868
        Anonymous
        Guest

        >tsquared tips casual
        ok buddy.

      • #421891
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Any gaming show in the 2000s was novel because gaming itself was novel,we were a few years into the 3d era back in 2001.
        And since dev times were low and companies didn’t lock down their PR strategies like nowadays things were more loose and laidback.
        that’s what happened with cinema

      • #421894
        Anonymous
        Guest

        >G4 were always casuals

        When it first started, stuff like Cinematech definitely wasn’t for casuals, but it did become more casual as it went along and the Xbox gamer bro crowd took over the industry.

    • #421863
      Anonymous
      Guest

      incelebs are not vidya
      kys

    • #421865
      Anonymous
      Guest

      guy looks disgustingly old.

    • #421867
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >not a single video breaching 50k views

      Uh, G4 b-bros…?

      • #421875
        Anonymous
        Guest

        There was a reason why G4 shut down before the decline of cable tv

        • #421878
          Anonymous
          Guest

          Is TV totally dead now? I remember I would watch Spike TV just for G4 skits and MXC, but now there’s a billion skit youtube channels and MXC is on twitch

          • #421884
            Anonymous
            Guest

            It’s in trouble when they found out younger generations are just watching streaming services. Most cable companies now only advertise it’s internet plans

    • #421869
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Why is he talking at roadrunner speed?

    • #421870
      Anonymous
      Guest

      literally a soijack

    • #421871
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >Adam Sessler in 2021
      >His only schtick is "I’m an old gamer and I did things that are irrelevant"
      cool, more fond youthful memories dredged up and lit on fire for a quick buck

      • #421874
        Anonymous
        Guest

        This. All he had to do was:

        >actually play fucking videogames
        >actually construct a decent review
        >stop trying to make a joke every other sentence
        >stop hoping nostalgia alone will carry you

        I figured this revival would suck ass.

    • #421872
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #421876
        Anonymous
        Guest

        >could’ve got Adam Methler reviews
        >instead got fat soi boomer reading wiki pages

        • #421880
          Anonymous
          Guest

          I’d watch a coked out Sessler review a game.

    • #421877
      Anonymous
      Guest
      • #421883
        Anonymous
        Guest

        what was going through his mind during this moment

        • #421886
          Anonymous
          Guest

          >I hope he doesn’t OD in front of the camera.

        • #421887
          Anonymous
          Guest

          >Send help

    • #421879
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >you will never be a bright eyed teenager watching G4 again, hopeful and excited for the future of vidya

      • #421889
        Anonymous
        Guest
      • #421892
        Anonymous
        Guest

        >watching Arena
        >They’re playing mech warrior
        >Some guy tries to make a diversion by SDing to let the other guy capture the flag
        >It doesn’t fucking work because why would it
        Looking back it was a pretty dumb move but at the time I thought it was really inventive and cool

    • #421882
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Is he doing the happy merchant meme on purpose?

    • #421885
      Anonymous
      Guest

      This melanoid still a crackhead? baka

      • #421888
        Anonymous
        Guest

        No actually, now he’s slow, fat, old and doesn’t understand games anymore.

    • #421890
      Anonymous
      Guest

      >somehow dodges the eleven billion complaints people have about the game
      >uh well if you have kids and a job playing games might be hard

      this is just depressing

      • #421893
        Anonymous
        Guest

        Cocaine scrambled his brains

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