- This topic has 143 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 7 months ago by
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Z.E.R.O S.U.I.T
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I want to _be_ her
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what would you do if you were her?
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hit on men in a bar
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Masturbate every day and drink beer
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Have my shithole remodeled
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Panic about how I’m not trained for this shit
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Find the biggest BBC gorilla melanoid I could to fuck me everyday
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fly around in a cool space ship
ride a space bike
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t. X Parasite
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okay i laughed
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You will never be a metroid
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heh
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That’s gay
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how
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>I want to _be_ her
t.Brie Larson -
You will never be a real Metroid. You have no soul, you have no body, you have no life-force draining abilities. You are an X Parasite twisted by mutations and adaptations into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection.
All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back Metroids mock you. Living beings are disgusted and terrified of you, your “natural predators” laugh at your ghoulish appearance behind closed doors.
Metroids are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of hours of lab-development have allowed Metroids to sniff out X with incredible efficiency. Even X who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a Metroid. Your horrific mutations are a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get an uninfected life form absorbed into you, it’ll turn tail and bolt the second it gets a whiff of a Metroid’s dangerous, deadly hunger for life-force energy.
You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake RRRAAAAAAAA every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel Samus Aran creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under her unbearable Plasma Blaster.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear – you’ll be found by Samus, get shot by her blaster, get reduced to your gelatinous form, and plunge into her warm abyss. Samus will find you, stoic but relieved that she no longer has to live with the unbearable fear and anger at your constant threat to the galaxy. She’ll absorb you into her Energy tank or Missile gauge, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know an X was absorbed there. Your form will become a Missile and get shot at Kraid, and all that will remain of your legacy is a small explosion that is unmistakably a Missile.
This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.
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>Metroid mandibles typed this
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based
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>and plunge into her warm abyss
God yes
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YWNBSA
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ZSS ruined the franchise.
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Explain
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Not him but it attracted the work kinds of people to the fan base, the coomershit, reducing her to nothing more as an action Barbie doll to the normie populace (as they keep spamming sexy Samus art everywhere)
We did get a lotta great hentai out of it though
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How? Did you ruin your life by what’s under your clothes?
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Of course he did. It always comes down to a tiny dick with these fags.
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I hope you didn’t hurt your brain trying to come up with that comeback coom monkey.
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>games still come out that are good like Dread
>ruined franchise
Metroid has had literally 1 bad game in the series, because they tried to make it story focused.
Samus can generate fanservice AND still be badass and have great games.
deal with it nerd.-
>games
>plural
>when it’s literally only Dread that’s come out after so long
ZSSfags are complete and utter retards, it’s insane.-
>Metroid Prime 2 and 3
>Samus Returns
I’ve never played Hunters admittedly
but those are all the good Metroid games that came after Zero Mission Other M is the exception.
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I hope you didn’t hurt your brain trying to come up with that comeback coom monkey.
eat the tide pods, zoom zoom
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Ok so remove Zero Suit. Now we just have Samus wearing pic related. Is that better?
>games still come out that are good like Dread
>ruined franchise
Metroid has had literally 1 bad game in the series, because they tried to make it story focused.
Samus can generate fanservice AND still be badass and have great games.
deal with it nerd.That and they tried to make Samus popular in Japan by making her more the type of girl Japan likes. Funny how it failed horribly and yet when they did it to Lara Croft it succeeded.
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zero soul
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It’s like I’m not wearing nothing at all
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>D’Oh! Stupid sexy Hunter!
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greatest creation
better than nudesuit-
Aster Crowley, deliverer of torpedo tits.
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[…]
soulless
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muscle samus is even more soulless, she’s never been depicted as having abs and muscles in any of the games
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overly muscular samus is soulless and there are better strong women out there you should check out if thats your thing but tasteful muscle on samus is the SHIT
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isn’t toned body the better term?
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its fucking hot is what it is
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uh….bros??
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I miss that helmet
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I’d like some kind of in between with this and the modern zero suit look. Give off some Dirty Pair vibes.
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this man has never wall jumped in a metroid game
replay super metroid, explore before you get space jump this time -
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I’d love to see a perfect compromise between the Zero Suit and Samus’ underwear.
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Samus would fucking destroy Anthony.
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C.O.O.M.E.R.S
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T.R.A.N.N.Y
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Zero suit kraid
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Samus lewd sexy outfit and body makes me coom
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I wanna slap Samus butt for being such a lewd slut and make her call me daddy
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>Daddy
>Samus
Do you have a death wish?
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[…]
built? for what?
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bee dubayoo sea
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>zero slut
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How come when you die in the games the power suit explodes and it reveals the zero suit? Isn’t the zero suit part of the power suit? Shouldn’t it reveal what she’s wearing underneath the zero suit like in Super Metroid and Fusion?
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t. coomer
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the zero suit is not part of the power suit.
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Yeah it is. In Zero Mission the power suit broke and sort of "demanifested" so all that was left was the Zero Suit. In Smash Bros Brawl she uses the beam which breaks the suit again. When the power suit is functioning normally, the Zero Suit allows it to manifest itself again.
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doesn’t that mean the power suit is a part of the zero suit and not the other way around
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How does the Zero Suit have anything to do with that? She’s been shown using the power suit without her Zero Suit all the time. The Zero Suit is just clothes. The power suit is a part of her.
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Zero Suit was the single worst design decision for Metroid.
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It’s hot that Samus canonically fucks black guys and it’s not just my headcanon fantasies.
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>Nintendo execs working 1000s of hours to make a 10/10 new Metroid game
>I walk in to board room meeting baked, in my pajamas
>dude, just make a scary alien open world 3rd person survival horror
>oh yeah put her in the zero suit the whole time. Make her sexy af.
>I walk away then come back
>I forgot after you beat game the post game has you collecting your suit and all power ups and then you fight at og bosses.Saves Metroid for another 20 years
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I would play that
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> -also, have team ninja develop it
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So Samus is now
> Part smart Chozo, part meathead Chozo
> Part Metroid
> Part X (twice now) which includes more information from smart Chozo
> Part human
Samus’ DNA must look like fucking spaghetti at this point. How is she still alive?-
Imagine the offspring
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female reproductive cells are formed before the baby girl is even born. In other words, Samus will have perfectly normal human babies regardless of her DNA transformations unless the DNA has a reason to change her ovary.
>X
That shit is on the suit as powers, not inside her. -
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Raven Beak was described as highly intelligent though
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lol
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Midriff Suit > Zero Suit
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Fucking this. I dislike the zero suit only because her tummy got brushed to the side.
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I miss bikini samus
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so
is the metroid suit just stuck to her body or something-
Well the power suit is already stuck to her body. In fusion they had to pry it open like a lobster to reach her vitals.
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We need a spinoff with a different protagonist
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>574753183
well we certainly got one-
What do you mean?
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I wish Samus was chubby.
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Why
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>click webm
>momokun
>close webm-
Still, its a good idea just a flawed execution. Drunk women are annoying.
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Would you a Brunette Samus?
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You look like a WHORE. Put your armor back on this instant.
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based Raven Beak
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Leotard>Zero Suit
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Not to sound like Dobson but this was a great design for Samus and it makes me sad that they stopped using it after the first game
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Dobson said something that? Gross.
Either way I like the green-haired Samus and her leotard.
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I wish that clown Dobson still had an internet presence, I really would love to see what shit hot take he’d have on Dread.
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Did this fuck actually rub two non wasted braincells together and say something smart for once?
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>the same popular atypical
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I like it too. It makes her seem more alien and mysterious.
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This guy gets it.
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Is there any way to play Other M that isn’t through actually buying a wiimote + nunchuck and using Dolphin? PrimeHack is a godsend, is there anything like that for Other M?
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>play Other M
Why would you do that yourself?-
There are mods out there that fixes the story somewhat, as well as the gameplay.
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How does that work?
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Other M doesn’t need a nunchuk I thought, just the wii mote on its side
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More like zero condoms.
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>muh more nudity
brainlet-
>Puritan mindset
i will continue to coom to Samus porn and there is nothing you can do to stop me.
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mommy mommy mommy can’t you see
a big boy like me needs lots of milkies -
I wish the Zero Suit would get a design update already.
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GOD i wish my ass were that fat
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i wish your ass was that fat too
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eat a bunch of cake or get pregnant, that’s what i did lol
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Would pound
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>boob pockets
soulless
>single boob pocket
getting there
>single boob pocket with erect nipples visible
soul-
what do you mean boob pocket?
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I believe he’s comparing the look of two distinct tiddies to the sort of "uniboob" effect that sports bras tend to give.
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I’ll always appreciate Zero Suit for offering me butt loads of pseudo Sarah Bryant porn.
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>pseudo
In the case of a lot of SFM/Blender 3D "Samus" porn it’s LITERALLY just the Sarah Bryant model, but called Samus.-
>LITERALLY just the Sarah Bryant model
That’s why I said Pseudo.
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>Sarah Bryant
Monkey’s paw. We got DoA Sarah. -
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sorry bucko, Sammy is for HORSE ONLY
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I want Samus to shove her big fat gun arm down my throat and make me call her a threat to intergalactic peace
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Dread is fucking stupid and Samus Returns was the worst way to redirect the new games.
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As much as I fucking hate Other M, I liked her outfit at the end.
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Perfection
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Sauce on the artist?
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idk, got it from previous thread
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yandex search it ull find it
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licky licky lick lick lick
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What phrases would a talking Samus barbie say when you’d push the button?
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W-what did you say?
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>"Get your fingers off my ass, you pervert."
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>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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Is she a fan of anal?
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exclusively anal. can’t risk a pregnancy when she has to save the galaxy
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TOO BAD
PUSSY TIME
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