Does it hold up?

Of course Splatterhouse does not hold up. This was coin-op arcade game that was designed to suck you dry of quarters. There is never a moment of fair design at all in any level (like most arcade focused games).

There are swarms of enemies that move too fast, and come from too many directions that make it impossible to avoid taking damage. There is no way to memorize any patterns, since most of the time that the game is reacting to your placement on screen.
The 4:3 aspect ratio does not do the gameplay favors, since Rick is also very slow moving. The instant wall of death that is constantly creeping behind him can easily sneak up before you can react.

Games like this are the reason why people roll their eyes and scoff at ''retro gaming''

  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I like the vibe. Look at these Deadly Spawn (1983) dickworms!

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Nice. Any other horror references in Splatterhouse that you've identified? The disembodied hands flipping the bird are obviously Evil Dead, and the hockey mask /Rick himself plus Biggy Man's sack mask seemingly referencing Jason. The intro of Stage 4's music is also reminiscent of the halfway point of Don't Fear the Reaper.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It's a gorgeous game.

      >This was coin-op arcade game that was designed to suck you dry of quarters.
      Is there any other zoomer cope as bad as this one except possibly bitching about "artificial difficulty"?

      OP may not even be a zoomer, he's clearly just shitposting so hard that he's bursting through the seams, the statements made are just blatantly false and the buzzwords are handpicked to upset you. Maybe we can have a nice Splatterhouse thread later.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >implying OP could afford to buy a Splatterhouse arcade cabinet, let alone a PCB
        >implying he has even seen either with his own two eyes

        OP here. It's mostly copy pasta from a game journo reviewer.

        https://nichegamer.com/reviews/splatterhouse-arcade-review/

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Shut up, bitch

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >This was coin-op arcade game that was designed to suck you dry of quarters.
    Is there any other zoomer cope as bad as this one except possibly bitching about "artificial difficulty"?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The truth enrages the boomer

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Challenge enrages the zoomer

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Dark Souls is challenging. 'cadeshit is "hope you got enough coins to survive this random enemy appearing out of nowhere with 1ms reaction window."

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >Dark Souls is challenging.
            >The Dark Souls series had shipped 33.4 million copies outside of Japan as of March 2022.

            Evidently not.

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Only like 20% of players have actually finished the game lol.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                That's not that unusual, if you look at achievement/trophy rates for all kinds of console games these days, a SHOCKING amount of people who actually play a game don't get far at all. Looking at that 20th Anniversary edition of Duke Nukem 3D, you can see that MOST people got past the first level, but after that it drops off pretty fucking hard and I think less than 25% of people beat the first episode of the game (which is only 5 levels), on any difficulty at all.

                I just have to assume that a big part of this is people just giving up on a game for whatever reason and deciding they don't want to play it further. It's not just on rereleases of retro games either, you see the same kind of things on newer titles.

                >This was coin-op arcade game that was designed to suck you dry of quarters

                Everytime I hear anyone open with this line, I know they're a secondary and not worth even discussing with.

                OP is a fag and trolling you, by quoting an even greater fag who actually has such a shit opinion.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I've recently been playing arcade games and seeing if I can get 1CCs on the easier games. I've gotten through all the Outrun branches, and beaten Splatterhouse and Shinobi. Currently going through Strider. I have to develop certain strategies for that game to either not die or get hit at certain parts because I want to maintain my health expansions and helper robots. I've gotten to the final stage, but I haven't closed it out in making it to the boss rush. You don't need to aim for 1CCs as well, you can play certain console games that match the difficulty you want to experience so it's not as frustrating for you.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >zoomer souls
            >challenging

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              don't lie.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                I wish I was.

                It's not like some oldschool Kaizo hack or anything, in fact it's pretty fair, but given how videogames across the board are just easy overall, Dark Souls do stand out for actually offering a challenge, even if not a monumental one.

                It only seems like that at face value compared to the sea of trash that modern games are. Ninja Gaiden 2 also came out during the same gen and zoomers never mentioned it, because it wasn't a meme game.

                you haven't even beaten that game, anon.

                I've done level 1 runs on all 3 souls games.

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              It's not like some oldschool Kaizo hack or anything, in fact it's pretty fair, but given how videogames across the board are just easy overall, Dark Souls do stand out for actually offering a challenge, even if not a monumental one.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >but given how videogames across the board are just easy overall
                Meant to say that they are easy these days. Since Dark Souls came around in the late 2000s, it's actually striking how strongly difficulty in games fell during that decade that Dark Souls, which is just moderately challenging, managed to create an image of being tough as nails.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >fell during that decade
                difficulty went off a cliff after the 4th gen when it was already declining on the snes. 5th gen games had less friendly QoL and were more willing to allow the player to get lost, but they were modern in that the default intention was for players to be able to comfortably progress through them without major roadblocks.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Dark Souls is just punishing. There is challenge, but a lot of its challenge is derived through running from your last check point to the boss. The player eventually just figures out ways in how to evade enemies on the path, or if there are certain ones they have to deal with.

                Older games often don't set you back too much until you have to use a continue (you are put back to the start of the level but levels are often 2~5 minutes in length), or get a game over and sent back to the title screen. Getting sent to the title screen and needing to restart would no doubt tire someone so that would be a good end point for playing the game that day. While something like Dark Souls is modern in which you maintain progress and there is a want to continually push on and invest time rather than stepping back and taking a break for the day.

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              In terms of standard unlimited continue non arcade games I can't think of many titles I've played that I would put ahead of the souls games. A few 6th gen character action games is probably about it, maybe castlevania 3.

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              you haven't even beaten that game, anon.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        This is a boomer board. You're looking for Ganker.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >post angry, seething, resentment-dripping thread
        >boomer: "lol ur dum"
        >"NYYEEEARGHHHH THE BOOMER IS ENRAAAGED!!!"

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      They just don't understand the genre or how to play it. At all.
      It doesn't help that the historical context of these games is also lost on them and they don't know where to start to learn it. Nor have the humility to do so.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It happened. One could always fuck with the dipswitches or BIOS and tone down the garden gnome though. Stock Splatterhouse, however, is a very learnable, short, and beatable game by arcade standards. Don't tell me Midway/Williams shit wasn't out to rape, though.

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Games like this are the reason why people roll their eyes and scoff at ''retro gaming''
    good, more for me. stop buying games and inflating the market.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >implying OP could afford to buy a Splatterhouse arcade cabinet, let alone a PCB
      >implying he has even seen either with his own two eyes

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Even if he emulates, mouth to mouth can have terrible consequences for the retro market.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Splatterhouse is rare as fuck (in the US at least), if a whole original/restored original cabinet still exist, you're paying up a lot for that, even a multipurpose original cabinet which was configured into Splatterhouse with any degree of original parts and suiting replicas are going to be worth many thousands, the PCB alone is fiendishly scarce.

          It's not gonna matter if some retarded zoomer or troll talks some smack about it on here, it's highly collectible inherently.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        The arcade version of Splatterhouse can be bought and played in multiple ways...

        1) The PS3 and Xbox 360 version of Splatterhouse(2010 remake) where the arcade version of Splatterhouse can be unlocked.
        2) Get the PC or FM Towns Marty version, both are identical to the Arcade port unlike the Turbo Grafx 16/PC Engine version.
        3) You can play it on the Switch through Namco Museum Arcade Pac.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >both are identical to the Arcade port
          Wasn't that a misconception? Like it's still off?

          [...]
          OP here. It's mostly copy pasta from a game journo reviewer.

          https://nichegamer.com/reviews/splatterhouse-arcade-review/

          YOU moron

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I don't think it's a misconception or off. But if we were to talk about differences, sure there are differences. Such as the multiple options they give you in the PC and FM Towns Marty versions, like giving Rick more hearts and toggling with the number of points you earn towards gaining a life.

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    what is with the weird muscles on chainsaw guy and how does he fuel those chainsaws?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >how does he fuel those chainsaws?
      Hate.

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    OP must be shitposting because Splatterhouse is quite easy and enemies certainly don't move fast.

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    OP this is Ganker. If you want a Splatterhouse thread, just say so.

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Weird. I played it for the first time a year or so ago and made it a few levels in before dying even once. It's not that hard.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah I usually don't have any trouble till the ghost room, and even then that's only if I lose my rythym

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        My problem is both that I'm not very good, and Splatterhouse is a very deliberate action game and I've gotten increasingly impatient as I've gotten older so I tend to get greedy and get beat back by it.
        But I think that's the opposite of enemies coming too fast to react to, I find Splatterhouse to be a very slow action game of its era. Like I said, deliberate.
        Too fast to easily react is like... Carnevil or something.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          > I've gotten increasingly impatient as I've gotten older
          You're supposed to do it the other way around.

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >arcade hater is an angry shitter who got filtered at fucking Splatterhouse of all things
    LOL

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I don't think it's dynamic enough or has the verticality to carry straight 2d like castlevania. If it hadn't been released in 1988 it would have had a z axis.

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The game is a master piece compared to the Castlevania arcade.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      That game is underrated due to people playing the harder US revision where you take twice as much damage.

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I played through it just fine, I even got the highest score on the Switch version (1CC). Get good.

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Then go play the sequels like a scared little girl, fagass.

  14. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    just say you can't perform the slide kick at will and be done with it

  15. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I find Splatterhouse easy except boss of the fetus bubble level.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Post your 1cc or no hit run (arcade version).

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Never said I could do that, retard, but I can make it to the fetus stage without dying or taking a hit.

  16. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I 1cc'ed it fine and found it perfectly fair. The game is very deterministic, making it easy to route out constiantly safe paths. The health recovery and extra lives you can earn give enough padding to experiment with routes or push through on the non-determinstic parts.

    OP is a massive gay who wants to appear to cool by acting like his lack of skill and knowledge means he is better then everyone else. A fucking cripple who wants to talk above people with two legs.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It's not impossible it's just unfair and poorly designed

      >I wasted many hours doing a Speedrun
      Ok so? Who cares you won some 1cc time trial

  17. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >There is never a moment of fair design at all in any level
    I first played this in 2020, the game is perfectly fair until the chainsaw boss. I figured out how to play a perfectly deathless run up to that boss to have more shots at beating him, and although I never did, those first two stages at the very least are completely fair.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      If you play it again sometime, see if you can hang on to a few of the shells in the first shotgun you find in that level. You can carry that shotgun all the way to the boss and get some extra shots on him. It's still kinda a close shave for me, but I can usually kill Biggy Man and beat that stage without dying this way.

      Splatterhouse is rare as fuck (in the US at least), if a whole original/restored original cabinet still exist, you're paying up a lot for that, even a multipurpose original cabinet which was configured into Splatterhouse with any degree of original parts and suiting replicas are going to be worth many thousands, the PCB alone is fiendishly scarce.

      It's not gonna matter if some retarded zoomer or troll talks some smack about it on here, it's highly collectible inherently.

      I bought my copy last year, but I bet the Japanese version is still much more affordable. I paid $60 for mine.

  18. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >There are swarms of enemies that move too fast
    Stopped reading here. Literal skill issue

  19. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Splatterhouse isn't dead easy, but it's far from the unreasonably hard. When I picture a cheap quarter sucker, a Splatterhouse cabinet is not what comes to mind.

  20. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >This was coin-op arcade game that was designed to suck you dry of quarters
    Yen.
    >rest of that post
    Horrible. You have no understanding of 80s arcade and video gaming culture.

  21. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Not enough like your Merry-oh games?

  22. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  23. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    OH NO I LOST 25 CENTS
    WHATEVER SHALL I DO

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      20 yen.
      Or about 11 cents.

  24. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's probably popular in barcades and would do well set up in a dedicated cabinet with full side art, CPO, marquee, and bezel in a movie tavern or premium cinema.

  25. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >This was coin-op arcade game that was designed to suck you dry of quarters

    arcade one is one of the easier 1CC games out there

    if you're this buttblasted though, just play the pc engine port. gameplay is intact though graphics are a big step down

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Post your 1cc.
      And fyi a no death run is harder than 95% of arcade shmups

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Post your 1cc
        never said easy, just "easier"
        if you're this triggered, just play the pce version

        also,
        >doxxing yourself on Ganker

  26. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Of course Splatterhouse does not hold up.
    Not reading the rest of this.

  27. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why is his right hand a left hand

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Jerked off too much.

  28. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >This was coin-op arcade game that was designed to suck you dry of quarters

    Everytime I hear anyone open with this line, I know they're a secondary and not worth even discussing with.

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