Elf Hate Thread

What do you hate most about elves?

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  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Their men are all unmasculine pussies.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous
  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    pompous buttholes

  3. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Their threads.

  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The subtitles

  5. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    they're not real

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      How much would it cost to hire a buncha cosplay hoes to do this irl?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        You should ask this question to the Japanese marketing agencies, as they're known to do that for advertisements.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >truck-kun is paid by Big Ear to sent people to other worlds
          My God, it all makes sense now...

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            The lengths the pointy eared prostitutes will go to in order to get a nice human to love...

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        You mean for a fotoshooting? Sorta depends but if you're not creepy about it potentially even for free.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Unless you're a cosplay photographer with a big name, you can forget about it.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Or you're just a girl at a con and friends with at least one of them

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          No I mean for group sex.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            If you want them to be somewhat attractive 5 - 10 thousand american dollars

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              More like 5-10 american dollars, seeing how all the good ones are from eastern Europe.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        what's the point? They'd still be human thots and not pvre elven maidens

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Because elven maidens do not actually exist.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            You just know…

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Their haters, the coombrains and the moronic threads they make.

  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I hate when they're designed as literally humans with pointy ears.

  8. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I hate noldorgay.

  9. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The constant singing and dancing

  10. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    those cavemen are gonna rape, and they're not gonna care if the elf is a girl or not

  11. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I hate how they are stealing human men from human women.

  12. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The stupid song they always sing when I go to their stupid hidden valley village or however it’s called. I can’t stop hearing it for weeks afterwards.

  13. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Shitposting about them

  14. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The elves who work at this tavern banned discussion elf slave yet let other equally or even worse discussions take place. Some person even rambles on about how cute dragons are to himself all day and night and never gets kicked out.

  15. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I dislike the concept of Tolkien-esque demigod elves running around doing mundane adventuring shit because frankly they have no reason to be doing so on the regular. They need either a downgrade to their own flavor of mere mortal or to stay in their forests.

  16. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    That they aren't real >:(

  17. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I hate how they introduced women to the hobby

  18. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Stinking prancing ponces once insulted my great great great great great great great granddad.
    Due to logarithmic grudge growth, we've killed 104 elves but still have 24 to go. Unless someone has a kid, then we're up to 152 to go.

  19. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Male elves are homosexuals and their faces look stupid.

  20. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >imagine being a vegetarian

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      How to know the setting is dogshit straight away:
      >the elfs are vegetarian

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        What setting even does this besides Eragon?

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          D&D

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Makes me even more glad I never played that shit.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            It doesn't and D&D is not a setting.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              What is d&d then?

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >the elves are cannibals

  21. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Local Men preparing to file a formal noise complaint.

  22. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    They are a bunch of pretentious hippies and we need to get them out of our woods before it's too late.

  23. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I've never in my entire life seen an elf work.
    All they do is sit around, write poetry, sing or do some other useless bullshit.

  24. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    That they look like humans.

  25. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    H U M A N B A R B A R I A N E D . C O M

  26. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Their autistic language

  27. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Their smelly feet

  28. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Pic Related just goes to show how awesome Finrod Felagund was.

  29. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >having sex with elven thots
    I seriously hope you guys don't do this.

  30. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Can't tell the difference between a man and a woman elf. I'm 0-7 on bedding a female.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      No need to brag.

  31. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Their fanbase.

  32. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >wear well-manufactured clothes
    >live in giant birdhouses made of sticks
    Explain.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      They are like nature hipsters that move into poor neighborhoods just because of the "unique flair".

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      They're larpers

      Why Gonk have blow-dried hair?

      Also larpers
      One side wanted to do elfquest and the other conan, they compromised

  33. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    That I will never be an eternally sexy and breedable elf woman.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      For starters your a man so yeah not breadable.
      Wanting to a b***h is for gays

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >Wanting to (be) a b***h is for gays

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          What a pathetic reaction image. Dilate, ywnbaw

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      She's only like 210, you sicko.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >Wanting to (be) a b***h is for gays

      >autogynephilia.jpg
      The absolute state of elf gays
      Dwarf bois don't like dwarves because they imagine being one getting gangbanged and it makes their peepee hard. Dwarf bois are there for the culture.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >Dwarf bois
        Cringe

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        > 'ate humies
        Chaos dwarfs are dumb and deserved squatting.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >Dwarf bois don't like dwarves because they imagine being one getting gangbanged
        Your loss, because being pretty and getting gangbanged is a genuinely fun and rewarding hobby. You have my pity.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Pornbrains are not elf-gays.

        What is d&d then?

        A system with various settings attached to it.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >Pornbrains are not elf-gays
          Exceptionally wrong. All elf-gays are pornbrains, because elves serve no value except as sexual objects.

          Even Tolkien only invented elves as a way for his self-insert to frick Luthien. Elves are sex objects to be competed over, won, and used, at everyone else's leisure. Therefore they are inseparable from the pornbrains like Tolkien who create them.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            t. pornbrain that never read Tolkien.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              He is correct though. Tolkien elves are an older spin on the pure waifu that will only accept the chaddest of humans. (itself a spin on pornbrain pagan mythology). You are literally fricking angels.

              Bonus question : what is written on Tolkien and his wife grave?

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                wrong answers only

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                He isn't completely wrong about that but misusing Tolkien for his own my hooman diiike shitposting while also ignoring or deliberately not knowing about any of the context. There were only a small handful of human-elf couples in his works, some of the men had elfish blood in them, the majority of them were educated and raised by elves to the point that they could be even mistaken for them. Yes, these were the chaddest of the humans that got themselves an elf wife, which in his writing means the most elf-like guys around. It's not a story about how so much better humans were and all the male elves are gay so the girls fall only for the human dick. Furthermore
                >Even Tolkien only invented elves as a way for his self-insert to frick Luthien
                Is just outright wrong, because in the very first version of this tale Beren was a damn Noldor himself.
                In any case, their function in his writings has been explained

                They aren't exactly better at everything, which just proves that people that bash Tolkien don't really read Tolkien either. Frick, humans are even the chosen ones of his setting and gods special kids. Tolkien elves were nearly perfect in order to teach, better and enoble humans, that is true, as Tolkien with his fundamental christian worldview thought that humans were inherently flawed and needed some divine guidance to not fall for evil. Regardless, it's still a human-centric setting.
                Bad elves happen when writers just copy the bare superficial aspects of Tolkien without his context or understanding for why he did the things the way he did.
                Although, seemingly perfect elves happen rarely anyway, especially rpg writers love to make them just the punching bags of the setting so that oh so special self-insert humans can dwell in their ruins.

                Also, another aspect of his context: there are no couples of male higher beings and female lesser races in his work period. It's a general theme that only great male specimen of their race marry upwards, a member of a higher race. Which is why the only "mortal" x maia couple was the elf Thingol with his wife Melian. No maia took a human or elf wife. So, if any of you frickers think "I copy Tolkien and only have male humans marry elf girls", then you better be consistent and have elf kings marry gods.
                Also, there was a male elf and female human falling in love in his works.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >Pornbrains are not elf-gays.
          well that's a fricking lie
          t. elf-gay

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Check, based, and dwarfpilled

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Based on what? Losing your homes to green morons and overgrown lizards?

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Being a pointy eared femboy and eternally sucking each others wieners does not constitute a fantasy race, much less a culture.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              More dorfcope. The sad part is he's probably jealous of his own strawman to boot.

              >green morons
              >overgrown lizards
              Imagine being an elf gay with WHF of all things firmly in mind kek

              Both of those things were established by Tolkien actually, Warhammerbrain.
              >b-b-b-b-b-b-but Tolkien orcs/goblins weren't green!
              Some could've been. Not that it matters, dwarves still lost their homes to them because dwarves have always been uninteresting jobbers.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            >green morons
            >overgrown lizards
            Imagine being an elf gay with WHF of all things firmly in mind kek

  34. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Why Gonk have blow-dried hair?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Why does this guys expression resonate so much with me?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      belched at by a dragon

  35. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Few games allow me to play an Elf as they were meant to be played: a 7 foot tall blond haired blue eyed Aryan superman who is everyone else's better.

    >Verification Not Required

    Indeed. Indeed.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Typical elvish cope. Highelves get the rope too.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Its a wonder your uncoordinated hands can stay of your own wiener long enough to tie yoour shoes let alone a rope

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Aye. It never fails to amaze how troons manage to hang themselves. If only they weren't so limited - still, 41% is an achievement for them!

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Elves in Tephra are 8 foot tall bruise colored emotionally stunted brutes with damaged souls
      but they can get hot soul injections to become 7 foot tall blond haired blue eyed Aryan supermen with a side of barely contained manic psychosis

  36. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    the fact that they're just treehugging humans with pointy ears

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I prefer the elves who hug spiders

  37. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The fact that gnoll girls are sexier.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >reskinning a demongirl because you have no taste or creativity
      Furgays are so pathetic

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >reskinning a demongirl because you have no taste or creativity
      Furgays are so pathetic

      Both of you are pathetic.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >reskinning a demongirl because you have no taste or creativity
      Furgays are so pathetic

      [...]
      Both of you are pathetic.

      one: pretty sure gnollgirls have dicks.
      two: the guy who made helltaker is PROBABLY a furry.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >literally made a series of comics mocking furries
        >HURR, ONE OF US ONE OF US
        Goddamn furgays are pathetic

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Mittsies (person responsible for hell taker ost) has done music for pony porno games
          So vanripper is at least guilty by association

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >guilty by association
            Yet furgays try to claim Kero the Wolf (the guy who recorded himself raping puppies to death and tried to convince a friend to pimp out their 6 year old cousin) is a lone actor whose actions don't represent their community, lel. Furgays are delusional as it gets.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              The furry community is also guilty by association when it comes to kero. These degenerates have cultivated a community of keeping shit under wraps (both figuratively, and literally speaking) for literal decades

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          I don't think it was mocking furrries.
          he'd have drawn it uglier if that was the intention.

  38. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The inherent powertrip

  39. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    That theyre better than me

  40. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >elfenblut
    more like, about to plunder that elfen butt

  41. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >imagine wearing clothes made out of leafs

  42. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Mostly because in most fantasy novels, they're always described as way better than everyone else and it's just writers wanking it to a perfect race. It gets annoying.
    Frick elves.

  43. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    they just think they are better than anyone else

  44. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I hate elves becuase they don't exist and make my dick mad

  45. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I don't really like the taste

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >leaving an entire finger with the bone and nail attached
      Seriously, you humanoids suddenly forget all the rules of properly preparing meat the moment you bring back a dead sentient.

      What, do you leave the pig's fricking uncooked hoof and ear in the broth too?

      Just pretend it's a long pig, skin it and slice it normally, you barbaric freak.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        I only want to eat the pussy

  46. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I think people hate elves because Tolkien made them better at everything compared to men and are also immortal. It's pretty infuriating knowing that no matter how much effort you put into self-improving; you won't ever compare to chad elves.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      To be fair, Tolkien made his setting to be a world of myth, and not to be a balanced fantasy RPG. In a mythological setting, it makes sense to have otherworldly being that are better than humans, for humans to compare against them. In an RPG, having one option be straight up better than other options is kinda dumb. As such, fantasy RPGs can't get elves right by definition. Either they are just respecced humans, or they are overpowered.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >Tolkien made his setting to be a world of myth, and not to be a balanced fantasy RPG
        Exactly
        >RPGs can't get elves right by definition
        not really, you just have to come with an explanation for why they can't become super good at hundreds of things with such long lives
        >they are just respecced humans
        Yes, but that is also true for any other anthropomorphic fantasy being
        >or they are overpowered
        Yes, the classic Tolkienesque is way better than a human,

        They aren't exactly better at everything, which just proves that people that bash Tolkien don't really read Tolkien either. Frick, humans are even the chosen ones of his setting and gods special kids. Tolkien elves were nearly perfect in order to teach, better and enoble humans, that is true, as Tolkien with his fundamental christian worldview thought that humans were inherently flawed and needed some divine guidance to not fall for evil. Regardless, it's still a human-centric setting.
        Bad elves happen when writers just copy the bare superficial aspects of Tolkien without his context or understanding for why he did the things the way he did.
        Although, seemingly perfect elves happen rarely anyway, especially rpg writers love to make them just the punching bags of the setting so that oh so special self-insert humans can dwell in their ruins.

        >They aren't exactly better at everything
        Really? ok, almost everything.
        >humans are even the chosen ones of his setting and gods special kids
        >Tolkien elves were nearly perfect in order to teach, better and enoble humans
        Don't think people care about this, the appeal and advantages of immortality and beauty (both in-game and irl) are too great for a mortal.
        >Bad elves happen when writers just copy the bare superficial aspects of Tolkien without his context or understanding for why he did the things the way he did
        game context =/= literary context
        >rpg writers love to make them just the punching bags of the setting so that oh so special self-insert humans can dwell in their ruins
        Yeah, sometimes. I don't think the Tolkienesque elves can work in games, they are simply too good.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >not really, you just have to come with an explanation for why they can't become super good at hundreds of things with such long lives
          They are not crazy good at the things they do becasue they live long, they are crazy good at those things because they are mythical creatures.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      They aren't exactly better at everything, which just proves that people that bash Tolkien don't really read Tolkien either. Frick, humans are even the chosen ones of his setting and gods special kids. Tolkien elves were nearly perfect in order to teach, better and enoble humans, that is true, as Tolkien with his fundamental christian worldview thought that humans were inherently flawed and needed some divine guidance to not fall for evil. Regardless, it's still a human-centric setting.
      Bad elves happen when writers just copy the bare superficial aspects of Tolkien without his context or understanding for why he did the things the way he did.
      Although, seemingly perfect elves happen rarely anyway, especially rpg writers love to make them just the punching bags of the setting so that oh so special self-insert humans can dwell in their ruins.

  47. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Everything

  48. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    This is now a free love thread.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >dross

      nice

  49. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    They take attention away from dwarf threads

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      No they don't. Unlike dwarfcopes, elfwankers don't build their personality around a one-sided feud. The sad fact of the matter is nobody actually likes dwarves, some people just self-insert as them to live out their fantasies of having a trade people actually respect and being able to make friends despite being smelly, unkempt, and socially maladjusted.

  50. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    No one hates elves. They are jealous of elves

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I am jealous of whoever gets to knead this glorious butt.

  51. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    The virgin elf vs the Chad tiefling.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Nice draenei, gay

  52. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I hate that we haven't permanently altered their genepool with our own human genes

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Why would you want to do that instead of the reverse?

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        And let Elven men frick OUR women? Are you mad?

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Elven men are not interested in women of any race, shape or form.

  53. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Easier to list what I don't hate about them:
    Nothing

  54. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >Tolkien noblebright shit like respawning in their homeland when they die or being unrapeable
    >When they look like humans with slightly pointed ears and not a different species(Elder Scrolls elves are creepy but at least look different)
    >They tend to live 100's/1000's of years or forever, be resistant disease, etc but it's never really explored how this impacts how they view the Gods or what the implications of having 6+ generations of a family around a dinner table are.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >creepy but at least look different
      Is this how your mother used to console you?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >being unrapeable
      coalskinned orc detected.

  55. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Dwarf women > Elf women

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      There are no dwarf women. Dwarfs spring alive from holes in the ground.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        dwarf woman discussion belongs into the dwarf thread

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Not even dwarf threads care about their own women.

  56. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Source for the image?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I think it is some old The Dark Eye module.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous
      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Somebody should draw a lewd edit saying "Elven butt"

  57. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    If you ever need reminder of why E*gi are hated.
    >inb4 HURR WE'RE SO SUPERIOR AND SMUG
    knife ear cope

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >dorfcoper
      Lel

  58. 1 year ago
    Anonymous
  59. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >Been trying to think up a theme for my solo Oathmark narrative campaign
    >tribal humans trying to resist the advances of the Elf Empire as it threatens their lands
    Thankyou op

  60. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    It appears elvish superiority has led to some controversy again

  61. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    They frick and dwarfs don’t.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      What about manly dwarven buttsex?

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Butt sex is the traditional hobby of elven males, no self-respecting dwarf would ever engage in it. They have sheep to satisfy their needs.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Butt sex is the traditional hobby of elven males, no self-respecting dwarf would ever engage in it. They have sheep to satisfy their needs.

        Dwarves are the most asexual fantasy race.
        It gets even worse when you consider the skewed male to female ratio in some settings.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          What's a "dwarf female"?

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >Dwarves are the most closeted homosexual fantasy race.
          FTFY

  62. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

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