What do you hate most about elves?
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What do you hate most about elves?
It's All Fucked Shirt $22.14 |
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Their men are all unmasculine pussies.
pompous buttholes
Their threads.
The subtitles
they're not real
How much would it cost to hire a buncha cosplay hoes to do this irl?
You should ask this question to the Japanese marketing agencies, as they're known to do that for advertisements.
>truck-kun is paid by Big Ear to sent people to other worlds
My God, it all makes sense now...
The lengths the pointy eared prostitutes will go to in order to get a nice human to love...
You mean for a fotoshooting? Sorta depends but if you're not creepy about it potentially even for free.
Unless you're a cosplay photographer with a big name, you can forget about it.
Or you're just a girl at a con and friends with at least one of them
No I mean for group sex.
If you want them to be somewhat attractive 5 - 10 thousand american dollars
More like 5-10 american dollars, seeing how all the good ones are from eastern Europe.
what's the point? They'd still be human thots and not pvre elven maidens
Because elven maidens do not actually exist.
You just know…
Their haters, the coombrains and the moronic threads they make.
I hate when they're designed as literally humans with pointy ears.
I hate noldorgay.
The constant singing and dancing
those cavemen are gonna rape, and they're not gonna care if the elf is a girl or not
I hate how they are stealing human men from human women.
The stupid song they always sing when I go to their stupid hidden valley village or however it’s called. I can’t stop hearing it for weeks afterwards.
Shitposting about them
The elves who work at this tavern banned discussion elf slave yet let other equally or even worse discussions take place. Some person even rambles on about how cute dragons are to himself all day and night and never gets kicked out.
I dislike the concept of Tolkien-esque demigod elves running around doing mundane adventuring shit because frankly they have no reason to be doing so on the regular. They need either a downgrade to their own flavor of mere mortal or to stay in their forests.
That they aren't real >:(
I hate how they introduced women to the hobby
Stinking prancing ponces once insulted my great great great great great great great granddad.
Due to logarithmic grudge growth, we've killed 104 elves but still have 24 to go. Unless someone has a kid, then we're up to 152 to go.
Male elves are homosexuals and their faces look stupid.
>imagine being a vegetarian
How to know the setting is dogshit straight away:
>the elfs are vegetarian
What setting even does this besides Eragon?
D&D
Makes me even more glad I never played that shit.
It doesn't and D&D is not a setting.
What is d&d then?
>the elves are cannibals
Local Men preparing to file a formal noise complaint.
They are a bunch of pretentious hippies and we need to get them out of our woods before it's too late.
I've never in my entire life seen an elf work.
All they do is sit around, write poetry, sing or do some other useless bullshit.
That they look like humans.
H U M A N B A R B A R I A N E D . C O M
Their autistic language
Their smelly feet
Pic Related just goes to show how awesome Finrod Felagund was.
>having sex with elven thots
I seriously hope you guys don't do this.
Can't tell the difference between a man and a woman elf. I'm 0-7 on bedding a female.
No need to brag.
Their fanbase.
>wear well-manufactured clothes
>live in giant birdhouses made of sticks
Explain.
They are like nature hipsters that move into poor neighborhoods just because of the "unique flair".
They're larpers
Also larpers
One side wanted to do elfquest and the other conan, they compromised
That I will never be an eternally sexy and breedable elf woman.
For starters your a man so yeah not breadable.
Wanting to a b***h is for gays
>Wanting to (be) a b***h is for gays
What a pathetic reaction image. Dilate, ywnbaw
She's only like 210, you sicko.
>autogynephilia.jpg
The absolute state of elf gays
Dwarf bois don't like dwarves because they imagine being one getting gangbanged and it makes their peepee hard. Dwarf bois are there for the culture.
>Dwarf bois
Cringe
> 'ate humies
Chaos dwarfs are dumb and deserved squatting.
>Dwarf bois don't like dwarves because they imagine being one getting gangbanged
Your loss, because being pretty and getting gangbanged is a genuinely fun and rewarding hobby. You have my pity.
Pornbrains are not elf-gays.
A system with various settings attached to it.
>Pornbrains are not elf-gays
Exceptionally wrong. All elf-gays are pornbrains, because elves serve no value except as sexual objects.
Even Tolkien only invented elves as a way for his self-insert to frick Luthien. Elves are sex objects to be competed over, won, and used, at everyone else's leisure. Therefore they are inseparable from the pornbrains like Tolkien who create them.
t. pornbrain that never read Tolkien.
He is correct though. Tolkien elves are an older spin on the pure waifu that will only accept the chaddest of humans. (itself a spin on pornbrain pagan mythology). You are literally fricking angels.
Bonus question : what is written on Tolkien and his wife grave?
wrong answers only
He isn't completely wrong about that but misusing Tolkien for his own my hooman diiike shitposting while also ignoring or deliberately not knowing about any of the context. There were only a small handful of human-elf couples in his works, some of the men had elfish blood in them, the majority of them were educated and raised by elves to the point that they could be even mistaken for them. Yes, these were the chaddest of the humans that got themselves an elf wife, which in his writing means the most elf-like guys around. It's not a story about how so much better humans were and all the male elves are gay so the girls fall only for the human dick. Furthermore
>Even Tolkien only invented elves as a way for his self-insert to frick Luthien
Is just outright wrong, because in the very first version of this tale Beren was a damn Noldor himself.
In any case, their function in his writings has been explained
Also, another aspect of his context: there are no couples of male higher beings and female lesser races in his work period. It's a general theme that only great male specimen of their race marry upwards, a member of a higher race. Which is why the only "mortal" x maia couple was the elf Thingol with his wife Melian. No maia took a human or elf wife. So, if any of you frickers think "I copy Tolkien and only have male humans marry elf girls", then you better be consistent and have elf kings marry gods.
Also, there was a male elf and female human falling in love in his works.
>Pornbrains are not elf-gays.
well that's a fricking lie
t. elf-gay
Check, based, and dwarfpilled
Based on what? Losing your homes to green morons and overgrown lizards?
Being a pointy eared femboy and eternally sucking each others wieners does not constitute a fantasy race, much less a culture.
More dorfcope. The sad part is he's probably jealous of his own strawman to boot.
Both of those things were established by Tolkien actually, Warhammerbrain.
>b-b-b-b-b-b-but Tolkien orcs/goblins weren't green!
Some could've been. Not that it matters, dwarves still lost their homes to them because dwarves have always been uninteresting jobbers.
>green morons
>overgrown lizards
Imagine being an elf gay with WHF of all things firmly in mind kek
Why Gonk have blow-dried hair?
Why does this guys expression resonate so much with me?
belched at by a dragon
Few games allow me to play an Elf as they were meant to be played: a 7 foot tall blond haired blue eyed Aryan superman who is everyone else's better.
>Verification Not Required
Indeed. Indeed.
Typical elvish cope. Highelves get the rope too.
Its a wonder your uncoordinated hands can stay of your own wiener long enough to tie yoour shoes let alone a rope
Aye. It never fails to amaze how troons manage to hang themselves. If only they weren't so limited - still, 41% is an achievement for them!
Elves in Tephra are 8 foot tall bruise colored emotionally stunted brutes with damaged souls
but they can get hot soul injections to become 7 foot tall blond haired blue eyed Aryan supermen with a side of barely contained manic psychosis
the fact that they're just treehugging humans with pointy ears
I prefer the elves who hug spiders
The fact that gnoll girls are sexier.
>reskinning a demongirl because you have no taste or creativity
Furgays are so pathetic
Both of you are pathetic.
one: pretty sure gnollgirls have dicks.
two: the guy who made helltaker is PROBABLY a furry.
>literally made a series of comics mocking furries
>HURR, ONE OF US ONE OF US
Goddamn furgays are pathetic
Mittsies (person responsible for hell taker ost) has done music for pony porno games
So vanripper is at least guilty by association
>guilty by association
Yet furgays try to claim Kero the Wolf (the guy who recorded himself raping puppies to death and tried to convince a friend to pimp out their 6 year old cousin) is a lone actor whose actions don't represent their community, lel. Furgays are delusional as it gets.
The furry community is also guilty by association when it comes to kero. These degenerates have cultivated a community of keeping shit under wraps (both figuratively, and literally speaking) for literal decades
I don't think it was mocking furrries.
he'd have drawn it uglier if that was the intention.
The inherent powertrip
That theyre better than me
>elfenblut
more like, about to plunder that elfen butt
>imagine wearing clothes made out of leafs
Mostly because in most fantasy novels, they're always described as way better than everyone else and it's just writers wanking it to a perfect race. It gets annoying.
Frick elves.
they just think they are better than anyone else
I hate elves becuase they don't exist and make my dick mad
I don't really like the taste
>leaving an entire finger with the bone and nail attached
Seriously, you humanoids suddenly forget all the rules of properly preparing meat the moment you bring back a dead sentient.
What, do you leave the pig's fricking uncooked hoof and ear in the broth too?
Just pretend it's a long pig, skin it and slice it normally, you barbaric freak.
I only want to eat the pussy
I think people hate elves because Tolkien made them better at everything compared to men and are also immortal. It's pretty infuriating knowing that no matter how much effort you put into self-improving; you won't ever compare to chad elves.
To be fair, Tolkien made his setting to be a world of myth, and not to be a balanced fantasy RPG. In a mythological setting, it makes sense to have otherworldly being that are better than humans, for humans to compare against them. In an RPG, having one option be straight up better than other options is kinda dumb. As such, fantasy RPGs can't get elves right by definition. Either they are just respecced humans, or they are overpowered.
>Tolkien made his setting to be a world of myth, and not to be a balanced fantasy RPG
Exactly
>RPGs can't get elves right by definition
not really, you just have to come with an explanation for why they can't become super good at hundreds of things with such long lives
>they are just respecced humans
Yes, but that is also true for any other anthropomorphic fantasy being
>or they are overpowered
Yes, the classic Tolkienesque is way better than a human,
>They aren't exactly better at everything
Really? ok, almost everything.
>humans are even the chosen ones of his setting and gods special kids
>Tolkien elves were nearly perfect in order to teach, better and enoble humans
Don't think people care about this, the appeal and advantages of immortality and beauty (both in-game and irl) are too great for a mortal.
>Bad elves happen when writers just copy the bare superficial aspects of Tolkien without his context or understanding for why he did the things the way he did
game context =/= literary context
>rpg writers love to make them just the punching bags of the setting so that oh so special self-insert humans can dwell in their ruins
Yeah, sometimes. I don't think the Tolkienesque elves can work in games, they are simply too good.
>not really, you just have to come with an explanation for why they can't become super good at hundreds of things with such long lives
They are not crazy good at the things they do becasue they live long, they are crazy good at those things because they are mythical creatures.
They aren't exactly better at everything, which just proves that people that bash Tolkien don't really read Tolkien either. Frick, humans are even the chosen ones of his setting and gods special kids. Tolkien elves were nearly perfect in order to teach, better and enoble humans, that is true, as Tolkien with his fundamental christian worldview thought that humans were inherently flawed and needed some divine guidance to not fall for evil. Regardless, it's still a human-centric setting.
Bad elves happen when writers just copy the bare superficial aspects of Tolkien without his context or understanding for why he did the things the way he did.
Although, seemingly perfect elves happen rarely anyway, especially rpg writers love to make them just the punching bags of the setting so that oh so special self-insert humans can dwell in their ruins.
Everything
This is now a free love thread.
>dross
nice
They take attention away from dwarf threads
No they don't. Unlike dwarfcopes, elfwankers don't build their personality around a one-sided feud. The sad fact of the matter is nobody actually likes dwarves, some people just self-insert as them to live out their fantasies of having a trade people actually respect and being able to make friends despite being smelly, unkempt, and socially maladjusted.
No one hates elves. They are jealous of elves
I am jealous of whoever gets to knead this glorious butt.
The virgin elf vs the Chad tiefling.
Nice draenei, gay
I hate that we haven't permanently altered their genepool with our own human genes
Why would you want to do that instead of the reverse?
And let Elven men frick OUR women? Are you mad?
Elven men are not interested in women of any race, shape or form.
Easier to list what I don't hate about them:
Nothing
>Tolkien noblebright shit like respawning in their homeland when they die or being unrapeable
>When they look like humans with slightly pointed ears and not a different species(Elder Scrolls elves are creepy but at least look different)
>They tend to live 100's/1000's of years or forever, be resistant disease, etc but it's never really explored how this impacts how they view the Gods or what the implications of having 6+ generations of a family around a dinner table are.
>creepy but at least look different
Is this how your mother used to console you?
>being unrapeable
coalskinned orc detected.
Dwarf women > Elf women
There are no dwarf women. Dwarfs spring alive from holes in the ground.
dwarf woman discussion belongs into the dwarf thread
Not even dwarf threads care about their own women.
Source for the image?
I think it is some old The Dark Eye module.
Somebody should draw a lewd edit saying "Elven butt"
If you ever need reminder of why E*gi are hated.
>inb4 HURR WE'RE SO SUPERIOR AND SMUG
knife ear cope
>dorfcoper
Lel
>Been trying to think up a theme for my solo Oathmark narrative campaign
>tribal humans trying to resist the advances of the Elf Empire as it threatens their lands
Thankyou op
It appears elvish superiority has led to some controversy again
They frick and dwarfs don’t.
What about manly dwarven buttsex?
Butt sex is the traditional hobby of elven males, no self-respecting dwarf would ever engage in it. They have sheep to satisfy their needs.
Dwarves are the most asexual fantasy race.
It gets even worse when you consider the skewed male to female ratio in some settings.
What's a "dwarf female"?
>Dwarves are the most closeted homosexual fantasy race.
FTFY