Have you ever cut people you thought were friends out from gaming?

I have a group of "friends" that have been getting on my nerves lately and I've slowly been starting to call them out. We play dnd 5e regularly every Thursday but they're extremely lazy. And by lazy they can't even be assed to drive 30 minutes to play at my place when the main house we play at is being renovated.
I've talked to them in the past about it but it's made no difference. They're also annoying as shit as players. Sessions are 2 hours but they spend a solid hour talking about anything but whats going on in the game, complaining about being tired and work and shit.

We range from 30s to late 40s me being 32 myself. I've known these guys for a few years but this behavior has only gotten worse. I feel like I should end the campaign and say I'm GMing for them if they won't stop distracting from the game and call it quits

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  1. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Yes, but I wouldn't quite say I cut them off as friends, even if I only regularly talk to just one of them.
    I guess there's two questions that need to be asked? Are you having fun running? If that answer is no, then your actions should be simple. Stop running this campaign. If the DM isn't having fun then nobody is having fun.
    Second, how much do you like this group of people. From what you're saying they sound like they're getting to your last nerve. Is it just with the game or is there something else going on? If just the game then just end the game and find different players while still keeping them as friends. I can't really give you advice if it runs deeper than that. It's also possible they just need a kick in the pants to bring them back to the game's attention, but you know your group better than I do.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I like DMing. And I've known these guys for a couple of years. But their bad habits have been kind of making the game a pain to run with the lack of interest, complaints about difficulty even when at worst one toon gets downed but not dead , and just general disinterest thay sometimes takes over the game. Sometimes they start having a conversation when I begin describing something.
      What was the last straw for me was the other day we couldn't go to the normal persons house to play so he asked if anyone had a place or wanted to host. I volunteered. Only one actually said they couldn't come out to me. The rest including the person who asked were all radio silent. Cuz godforbid a 30 minute drive down a highway at night is too much. I do thay just to play with them. They can't be bothered to do it one night? It's pure laziness.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Honestly, the best course of action might be to end the game. If you want to do it discreetly don't do it right away and find a way to end it within a few sessions or come up with some excuse as to why you can't DM anymore.
        If you were willing to do an online game, considering the severe shortage of DMs finding players is very easy in this day and age, though vetting them is a pain in the ass.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          I was considering that. I'm running descent into avernus and they're already in hell. A TPK would be a lot of work for getting new characters in there that makes sense. I'm half contemplating giving up gaming as whole. I've been trying just to meet people but the people I meet just aren't fun or make for good reliable friends. I'm starting to think either the people in my local area suck or life just wants me to do solo gaming shit. Like really get into the autism of solitaire hex and counter historic war games.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Well only you can make the choice to give up gaming entirely. Since you like DMing I would advise against it, but it's up to you.
            Interestingly enough the article I mentioned about the DM shortage was specifically talking about the NYC area. Maybe part of the reason that is that your area is filled with horrible players that nobody wants to run for.
            At least in my experience, when it comes to finding people for game, you don't necessarily have to be friends with them right away. My first group was like that, I didn't know anyone else. We just started knowing each other the more we played. Don't dismiss meeting new people that way.
            Though I will tell you that finding a good group of people, whether you are playing or DMing is hard. Doesn't matter whether that's online or in-person.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              I think it is the area to be honest. I've tried doing different things. Doesn't matter if it's Facebook groups or meetup. Going in store or anything. No one has a genuine interest to be social and when it comes to gaming everyone either is super casual or super competitive I've found. There's no middle ground. If the only gaming I get from now going forward are hex and counters and maybe solo rpgs then I accept it. Im tired of being let down by people thay all say they want to play and do things but then do the complete opposite at the table. He'll I can even spend more time building scale models or some shit instead.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                If you're committed to an in-person game, you can try to ask to advertise at your local game shop for players. If it doesn't work out you can just keep doing it until you have a good group. That takes time and effort, and is really easy to get discouraged.
                If you were willing to give online a shot, I know there's a dedicated thread here in /tg/ about finding games. Putting up a post there will likely attract players. There's alternatives too, Ganker is not the only place.
                Honestly, considering how much work you put in and how committed you are to the game there is a group out there that would love to have you as the DM. You may have to search for them, and you might have to go online to do it, but they're out there.
                If you are just done with RPGs then that's okay too, but it did sound like you enjoyed it. If you're still not sure yet on what to do, there's nothing wrong with taking a break to give you some time to think about if you want to continue with RPGs or not.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                I think about it for now. I'm worn from trying to make a good game for my current players so I could use a break for a bit. I'm already part of the Facebook group for long island so if I want to I may put up something there. But right now I feel like giving up gaming except for solitaire hiatorics is looking better and better. I'll have tk figure out how to end the campaign sooner.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >If the DM isn't having fun then nobody is having fun
      Objectively false. My friends had fun with a campaign I'd stopped enjoying 20 sessions before it ended.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        So why would you torture yourself?

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Because it had been 100 sessions so far and no way I was stopping it that close to the end.

  2. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    The 30 minute thing is annoying. I've known a lot of people like that. New Yorkers often won't go anywhere that involves changing trains, even if it's like 15 minutes away. Or they'll refuse to enter Manhattan, even if they live like 5 stops away from Union Station. There's nothing to do; they're not going to change.

    As for the other thing, it sounds like you want something different from them. You strictly want to game; they want a general social experience. You can try to ask them to focus, but that won't last more than one session. Honestly, I think you either need to learn to deal, or find another group.

    Have you considered have a drink or two when you play? (As long as you can do it and still drive home safe).

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Funny you mention NY because I'm from Long Island and commute from my place in suffolk tk Nassau county so every week we play im commuting. It pissed me off because the one time we would need to play elsewhere they're too god damn lazy to do it.
      I'm all for a social experience when gaming. But when I start describing something and get cut off by someone to talk about movies out of no where it gets annoying real quick. I've slowly started calling out behavior. Not super direct but more like "ok back to the game". It's only recently I started to get a bi5 harsher and that's when I mentioned about being frustrated that everyone was quiet when I volunteered to host at my place.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        God, frick Long Island (no offense). What you say totally scans with my experience. God forbid you have to TRAVEL TO A DIFFERENT COUNTY! Everyone knows that Suffolk county is literally farmers and fisherman, only interrupted by the Hamptons at the very tip.

        Anyway, for your hints, all I can say is you can try to hint, but I suspect at some point your players will start to get resentful. The only solution I can think of, which is far from guaranteed, is to try and designate like 30 minutes before the game as official socialization time. This is a good time to serve snacks and drinks.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Maybe. I'm partially thinking of other things like if they cut me off when I start describing something or take longer than five minutes for out if game chatter to just throw combat at them. They're in avernus. Demons are every where.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            To add to it. If combat doesn't dissuade them and calling it out doesn't then im just ready to call it quits. After that crap with them going silent because they're too lazy to drive from Nassau to Suffolk like all of 25 to 30 min then im done putting in any effort for them.

            Honestly, I suspect the combat thing will just piss them off, and it sounds like you have fatigue with your group. I'd wrap up the campaign in a couple session and say you've become too busy to game right now. Don't tell them you don't want to play with them any more; no need to burn bridges.

            Online is fraught but possible. You live in a very dense area; I bet you can find another group without too much trouble. If not...I dunno. Depending on what it is you like about gaming, you might be able to scratch your itch on a NWN server or a MUD (they still exist), or even an MMO. There are roleplay guilds in every big game.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              I definitely agree that I have fatigue. Theyre not adventurous at all. I actually had one of them complain about thinking too much after one session because the combat was a bit more tactical than normal. I've been giving wow a try but I dont know if I want to fully invest more than a month yet.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          To add to it. If combat doesn't dissuade them and calling it out doesn't then im just ready to call it quits. After that crap with them going silent because they're too lazy to drive from Nassau to Suffolk like all of 25 to 30 min then im done putting in any effort for them.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >Long Island
          big rip
          Even living in Queens, it's hell trying to go to someone's place with how fricked the LIRR is. Brooklyn or Manhatty? Simple enough, if a bit long. Taking a train to Westbury? God help your soul...

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            What's sad is the fact that they're all in Nassau except for me. So it's only 25 to 30 min to get to the one guys house. But their laziness shined when just once they couldn't come out to me when our normal place wasn't available. Long Island isn't big and it's not like im saying go from Nassau to Riverhead. I think im just gonna end the game sooner rather than later.

  3. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Cut out from gaming yes.
    Cut out as friends no.

    They started off as a pretty good player, but declined, mostly due to irl issues, work and time. So, they were missing sessions, kept non-attendance but claming they wanted to be there going for months and then we had a conversation around "look dude, it kinda sucks, but I don't want to plan for you to be there and then you're not, so I'm not going to. We can do beers as and when and you can certainly come back if you ever find the actual time, but..."
    They were a bit sulky for a while, but it's all good now, we see each other every few months outside of "the table" and things are good.

    I'd say 2 hours is a bit of a "short" session to get everyone in the swing of things etc. but if that's working for you/your table... oh...

    There's a DM shortage everywhere though, so you're not gonna struggle to find players - especially if you go online. if Anything, I find quality control (of players) even easier, there's zero social stigma to booting someone from a Discord + just make a checklist Q&A sheet for prospective players as a first step.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      > if Anything, I find quality control (of players) even easier, there's zero social stigma to booting someone from a Discord + just make a checklist Q&A sheet for prospective players as a first step.

      There's something to be said for treating players like players without worrying about damaging your "IRL" friendship.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      This would be a good idea. The problem is they're so lazy they can't even get together for anything else? They all fall under the category of they'll say they can't or don't have time but they really can. I called out on of them separately. He complains a lot about having no life but will sit there and say he likes to have Sundays to himself when I ask him to get together or that I live too far. Even If I say I'll come out his way which is a 45 min drive at most. So if you're busy on Saturdays and you purposely choose to make Sundays a day for yourself and refuse to get together during the week, don't tell me you have no life. He makes the choice to go to dnd but not anything else. Im not buying it anymore

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >just make a checklist Q&A sheet for prospective players as a first step
      Care to share what questions would be?
      I know people tend to ask stuff like how many years of experience they have in TTRPGs, what their favourite system is, some memorable moment from one of their campaigns they recall, and so on. Some ask at the very end for the player to share details about their life (whatever they are comfortable sharing, tho) as a way to see how schizo the person is.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Op here. If I were to do this, it would be more along the lines of

        >What kind of game do you prefer story or dungeon crawl?
        >Are you open to trying new systems?
        >Are you ok with character death?
        > Do you want to play or to socialize more? (Make this more open ended because I want somewhere in between.)
        >Are you ok with inclusion of any adult themes? (This is setting, play style, and story dependent.)

        Before anyone says anything about my last question adult themes isn't "lmao there's rape". Im talking like in avernus depicting fricked up forms of torture because it's supposed to be hell. Things that make sense.

  4. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >Sessions are 2 hours
    No wonder they don't want to spend an hour commuting; it's 1/3 of the time involved, and a pittance for a session anyways.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Its a half hour. It's really not that bad. I do it to our play location. Theyre just lazy.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >Its a half hour.
        Both ways.
        > they can't even be assed to drive 30 minutes to play at my place
        Unless you're saying this doesn't mean what it says now.
        For 2 hours of gaming. That's not a lot.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          The only reason it's short is because one guy works a night shift as a rent a cop. 30 minutes both ways still isn't that terrible of a drive for a once a week thing. There's people that drive double that both ways just for work.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            I'd be willing to get up early or late to accommodate nightshift guy outside my own schedule - but I'd never agree to long term limits of 2 hour sessions. Even if everyone is so on time and on the ball you'd swear it was shaved by a manscaping trimmer, it's not good enough.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              I basically have no choice in that matter. We start at 7 and go to about 9 930. Any later and then I start seeing their bad behavior get worse. One guy just gets distracted and another basically starts becoming a zombie. I can't win. These are people in their 30s to 40s acting like they're fricking 60

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        i wouldn't drive an hour to play 2 hours
        especially if all the group lives close to each other except for you
        why not have 3 hour sessions?

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Because one guy works as a night security guard and weekends are out of the question so we have no choice. The thing is having them come out to me shouldn't even have been an issue mainly because it was just a one time thing. I agree it makes more sense for me to go out to them but when our normal play location is out of commission and they can't be bothered to come out to my place once when I offered why am I making effort for them when they already get on my nerves as players.

  5. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I had a regular group for 3 years in my early 20's, started off friends with all of them.
    >One broke up with a girl some of the other players were living with and ghosted everyone after threatening to kill us all because they wouldn't let him into their share-house at 4AM to "talk" to his ex
    >One turned up late to every session and called my pitch for an AD&D campaign shit and told me to run Pathfinder instead. I banned him from that campaign in particular and he basically fled our entire social circle over it, even though I held no grudge
    >One was a power-gaming homosexual who called me stupid to my face as premise as to why he was a genius DM. I cut him out of my life completely at the first opportunity
    >One tried to frick my ex while I was still with her, fricked another dude's ex (which is why they broke up) then vanished off the face of the earth
    The other guys were decent players and are good friends, but they don't play TTRPGs anymore.
    My current group only plays bi-monthly at most, thanks to scheduling.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      These guys are my only group. But it just gets annoying trying tk run a game when I keel getting interrupted. Of they can't be bothered to drive 30 minutes out to me to play one day when our normal place is down, why should I tolerate their rudeness after driving 30 minutes every week. It's laziness and im getting tired of it.

  6. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I've had friends of several years decide to cut all contact without warning or much of a reason. It hurts even still, but there nothing to be done about it but hope they are alright and try to move on.

  7. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    It sounds like you're asking us for permission to stop GMing for this group. You don't need our permission. If you're not enjoying it you can stop.
    Anything else mostly depends on how you feel about the group outside of your game. Do you want to stay in touch at all? You're not married to them. Presumably.

  8. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    He left on his own, but I had a good friend who asked to join my group and played in two of our campaigns.
    >first red flag, complained his last DM had it in for me, but I let it slide because that's a guy I already knew he hated
    >rolled a character with poor understanding of the rules, b***hed all the time about being weak
    >let him make a new character, reads the rules and makes a mechanically very strong character
    >Dark Fantasy edgelord in our lighthearted campaign
    >still b***hing whenever he takes damage, never taking risks
    >treats the setting like a videogame where my job is to give him everything he wants
    >his character gets humiliated and he got so angry he deadass vandalized a door of the apartment building we both lived in
    >during football season he starts missing half the sessions
    >does a lot of smaller irksome stuff
    >executes a cooperative npc for lolrandom fun
    >specifically declares jumping from standstill after we discussed the rules, pissy I don't let his character make the jump
    >play new campaign with different DM
    >mostly OK until he has a giant outburst over an observation I make about the way a spell he's been using works
    >he said "it sucks the oxygen from the air"
    >I interpreted that as creating a vacuum, and point out that when our party face tried to talk to people under its effect
    >10-15 minutes of solid angry discussion about this fricking spell, and it turns out he was just making shit up

    The thing is, I would have been able to deal with all of this shit if it weren't for the fact that this dude had serious anger problems. We eventually stopped being friends because of this bullshit, but I see him very occasionally. He's gotten better, settled down with a girlfriend, has a job he likes. I'm happy for him. Maybe even slightly envious. But when we were friends his anger issues were a real problem, and having him in my group really opened my eyes to how he was always using them in our main friend group to get his way.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I will never understand why people play a GAME and then get upset when a character dies. If you dont want them to die then you're not playing a game you just want a story. It's not a game if there's no chance of failure and/or death. One of my players gets mad if he takes a decent hit mainly because he's playing a blade singer so he does stuff like haste to boost his AC. Hell all my players get upset if combat is even remotely challenging especially the rogue who took AOE damage while hiding. You're fighting an undead elder red dragon. If you can completely min max your way out of everything then why should I give you anything other than goblins. It's epic fights and epic deaths along with creative solutions that make for great stories. I also only up things because they have powerful items. I try to keep it as fair as possible or give them some sort of out.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >still b***hing whenever he takes damage, never taking risks
      Personally, this is THE most annoying thing a player can do. Or freaking out every time they miss with an attack or spell or whatever. Get the frick over it.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Exactly. I can understand if maybe it's an unfair fight and you have no way to run away but if you continue to fight and take damage or get downed it's part of the game.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        One particular instance with this guy was when they were in a mock battle with the city guard, for training. So I said they use training weapons, but one of those weapons was someone throwing a rock. Hit him for 1 hp of damage. Still b***hing.

  9. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Just don't play RPGs with the anymore.

    There's no reason to quit being friends.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      They dont do anything else. They're basically like the kind of people you'll see at a store and that's the only socializing they'll do. Anything else is all excuses. I'm just tired of making effort for people who are lazy as shit to even do anything. As I said its a bunch of 30 to 40 something year Olds who act like they're in their 60s.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Get new friends.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Easier said than done on long island.

  10. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I've cut people off but still remain friends. For a long time a majority of my friends didn't realize they don't actually like playing but instead just played because of FOMO and it to hang out

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      No they all like the game but they're lazy about it. One of them is one of those who won't try anything new because "im not good at it" or constantly laughs about how he doesn't know how the game or his character works. It's laziness.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        I'm talking about my group specifically anon

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Oh my bad sorry.

  11. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >30 minutes is too far
    >2 hour sessions
    >5e
    >lives in NY
    Mans I am sorry.
    On the plus side, the population base is large enough you can find a proper gaming club and play with them instead of trying to rope your friends into a thing they clearly don't give a shit about.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      The thing is they do like to play RPGs but dnd only. They're just really lazy. And it's not like the drive for them was more than once so it frustrates me even more when I the dm make that drive every week just to run the game and they can't be bothered to do it just once. It's not that bad of a drive. I may look for a group or I may just play solo rpg shit because im sick of hearing lame excuses all the time from people.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        It doesn't sound like they do like to play at all really. They like hanging out with the backdrop of 'dnd'. But they don't actually want to play the game or enjoy it enough to put effort into.
        Its a hobby, it works better when everyone who is participating is earnestly engaged. It sucks but you are very unlikely to convince them to care about a thing they don't care about for fun. Its just not how people are. If you want to play rpgs and games, you are well positioned to go find other people who care in a more amenable manner and have a better time.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Like I said I might if I dont do solo stuff or drop it completely to focus on the hex and counter stuff I have on my shelf. I'm just tired of making the effort of prep before the session and driving the same drive each week they can't be assed to do once because it's an inconvenience as the price to play.

  12. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Yes, years ago.
    >schedule time and place to play that was in the middle of everyone and most convenient
    >30-40 minute drive for everyone
    >time came and everyone was there except them
    >couldn't start without them
    >call, no answer
    >they're online on discord on their phone and shitposting memes instead of apologizing or making their way over
    >they finally get there maybe 2-3 hours later and then once they get there claim they don't really wanna play anyway and then we cancel

    And then the others
    >pitch ideas for tabletop games
    >only interested in warhammer
    >"frostgrave's basically mordeheim"
    >doesn't matter unless GW officially put it out they don't want anything to do with it

    I gave up, left, and formed a better group with closer friends. Maybe one or two of the dudes was alright and I still talk to them.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      The thing that worries me about finding a new group is vetting people. They can claim to be a certain way then do the opposite. And some of the people I've seen in the stores I'd prefer to avoid.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Don't start a huge campaign, just hang out with people and see how they act. I'd go hang out at the GW and paint stuff while just talking to a bunch of people about whatever and see if I enjoyed spending time with them. It's a social hobby and you gotta make friends to play with somehow. Go out on one shot night or something to the LGS or whenever they host your favorite game and just see who you enjoy playing with.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          I get what you mean. I gave magic commander a try and while it's a fun game the local groups just didn't mesh well with me. I've found that a lot of people in my area are just very one dimensional. Like their only interest is what ever game they're playing and what they watch on TV. Not saying im better but I have multiple interests that aren't just game related so trying to socialize with is difficult sometimes at local stores. Think of it like you meet someone and they only talk about dnd. You'll try to start yp a convo about other things like music books etc but they keep just wanting to talk about dnd even when not playing.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            I definitely get what you mean. I used to hang out with a group that I had to ask frequently if they could talk about anything but warhammer for a while. It was grating and they had literally no lives outside of going to work and warhammer. I felt like a fricking normie just trying to talk current events or music or whatever while they were arguing over some lore shit all the time. That said there's a lot of normal people I've met while socializing that have expressed interest in playing board games or dnd or whatever, just maybe make some normal friends and see if you can convince them to hang out with you at the LGS and give whatever you're playing a shot?

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              I wish but the only people I've met after school have been basically gamer types. My friends from college all live out of state. I work with a bunch of older people who I can talk about things like the model train layout I build for my fiance's dad as a present (pic related). But meeting people my age on long island is hard because any drive longer than 10 minutes to do anything is considered an inconvenience because most people are lazy. Part of why I got into table top was to meet people and get away from screens. Seems like all stereotypes come from somewhere I guess.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >I work with a bunch of older people who I can talk about things like the model train layout I build for my fiance's dad as a present (pic related)
                Its very nice and you are probably better off. I am

                >I have a group of "friends" that have been getting on my nerves lately and I've slowly been starting to call them out. We play dnd 5e regularly every Thursday but they're extremely lazy. And by lazy they can't even be assed to drive 30 minutes to play at my place when the main house we play at is being renovated.
                >I've talked to them in the past about it but it's made no difference. They're also annoying as shit as players. Sessions are 2 hours but they spend a solid hour talking about anything but whats going on in the game, complaining about being tired and work and shit.
                >We range from 30s to late 40s me being 32 myself. I've known these guys for a few years but this behavior has only gotten worse. I feel like I should end the campaign and say I'm GMing for them if they won't stop distracting from the game and call it quits
                You stop having friends as you get older OP. You start having friends because you are in the business of finding frick and fight or help you in fricking and fighting in return for helping them. By the time you are in your 40s you should be growing out of that and see friendship for the worthless box of shit it is. Friendship is possibly the most forced and bullshit social convention these days, has been since social media forced people who lost touch to be in contact again. Awful fricking TV shows about groups of people refusing to grow the frick up and perpetually acting like they are in a schoolyard. people only stay in touch with you because you have something they want, drugs, sex, money, power etc. That's reality. People are fricking awful. You should be an age where you are moving beyond childish shit like 'friends'. They would be in your house if you had a sexy wife or cocaine or a lot of money or threw really nice food or free booze you can be certain of that.

                and have had lots of friends and I'm telling you one of the things you ahve to grasp the nettle on as the years pass is friends and family are bullshit. Nice at certain stages in life but in the end they will leave you on your own. It is best not to expect anything different and learn to live in complete isolation, the younger and fitter you are when you adapt the better. No one is worth any more of your time then the pleasure you are getting from speaking to them i the moment and nothing more. There are more people out there who delight in gloating over others suffering or having less than them then the vanishingly few trustworthy or moral people. As you get older you will see that the real garbage people dwell even more on 'friends' and that's because they are garbage people and cowards as well. Your model train is lovely. Do things for yours elf more though. That woman will probably divorce you and the father won;t give a shit.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                I already do things for myself and I've gotten rid of a lot of games I never got to play because of people. It's still frustrating to want to have a social life but people are just frickin lazy. A 30 min drive is nothing.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                I hear you but social life is overrated. addictions, money, mental illness, crime all these problems can come into your life via other people.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Nta, but as far as my experience goes the ratio of shit individuals - good individuals is 2/10. Last time i needed more players i simply advertised various options (a grimderp famtasy, a wild west game, a golden age supers, a 70s investigative and a pulp noir) to a lgs to which players flocked over like crazy (apparently LOTS of people were bored to death about d&d fantasy to the point they didn't mind i was gming gurps). Working the schedule i manged to form two groups of 5 and i got a bad player each (i mean buttholes that guy types). I simply booted the Black folk out and kept the rest.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          I'm thinking about it. It seems like long island is just shit when it comes to people so im weary about advertising in the stores. Maybe on the Facebook group but those people would only want to play dnd.

  13. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I've only cut myself out because I'm not deserving of friends.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >I've only cut myself out because I'm not deserving of friends.
      No...there is nothing wrong with you. The concept of friends is for children and young adults. people who cling to it too long are bad news because they use it for gain and make 'friends' with people as targets to get something they want and they won't have anything you want in return.

  14. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >I have a group of "friends" that have been getting on my nerves lately and I've slowly been starting to call them out. We play dnd 5e regularly every Thursday but they're extremely lazy. And by lazy they can't even be assed to drive 30 minutes to play at my place when the main house we play at is being renovated.
    >I've talked to them in the past about it but it's made no difference. They're also annoying as shit as players. Sessions are 2 hours but they spend a solid hour talking about anything but whats going on in the game, complaining about being tired and work and shit.
    >We range from 30s to late 40s me being 32 myself. I've known these guys for a few years but this behavior has only gotten worse. I feel like I should end the campaign and say I'm GMing for them if they won't stop distracting from the game and call it quits
    You stop having friends as you get older OP. You start having friends because you are in the business of finding frick and fight or help you in fricking and fighting in return for helping them. By the time you are in your 40s you should be growing out of that and see friendship for the worthless box of shit it is. Friendship is possibly the most forced and bullshit social convention these days, has been since social media forced people who lost touch to be in contact again. Awful fricking TV shows about groups of people refusing to grow the frick up and perpetually acting like they are in a schoolyard. people only stay in touch with you because you have something they want, drugs, sex, money, power etc. That's reality. People are fricking awful. You should be an age where you are moving beyond childish shit like 'friends'. They would be in your house if you had a sexy wife or cocaine or a lot of money or threw really nice food or free booze you can be certain of that.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I find that hard to fully believe. I think its just laziness. I have no problem doing things like making food for people. In fact if people would come I'd make fresh food from charcuterie boards to fresh chicken wings. But once again a game and free food isn't worth driving 30 minutes ONCE for these people.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        It is not you. You are probably a good person and very nice. The problem is your idea of friends. You are too old for it. Now there are takers and givers. If you had something to take they would take it but they are not your friends. Stop giving them space in your head and do things for yourself instead of others for a bit. Stay in touch with the ones who contact YOU. If they don't bother to don't bother to contact them. You should not expect anything from other people, including your children because the odds are you won't get it. I mean this in a nice way but grow up real life is not 'friends' the TV show or Seinfeld or whatever. I guarantee you if you had cancer not one of these people would show up to give you a lift to chemo more than once.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >when you are unintelligent

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        No, only worthless thrash and manipulative morons try to keep friendships running past young adulthood. Its pathetic. Which one are you? Or are you incapable of living independently like some sort of fricking child and need others to sponge off?

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >when you are unintelligent as well as unhappy but you thought of some fun phrases to shout

  15. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I dont care how good you think your game is, no rational adult is going to commit an hour of commuting on their day off to playing a ttrpg

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Its a week night and I already do that just to run it for them. Asking them to come out my place just once is asking too much? Really? Especially when the guys house we normally play at has construction going on? I think its not unreasonable at all. It's laziness.

  16. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    when you are finished with being a young adult you frick and make children. Then you look after that. You grow the frick up bleating about friends like some sorry of 9 year old. Fricking sickening to see. Grown men have acquaintances and leave the childish idea of friendship where it belongs in their past.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      have a nice day breeder wagecuck. You breed shekelsteins future slaves for free and suck his wiener and prop it up with false ethos of maturity. Then wonder why you wanna have a nice day at 45.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        The truth touched a nerve. Grow the frick up. Muh 'friends' like a wailing child.

        >wagecuck
        Unemployed as well.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          I'm at work right now. Wish I wasn't. Unlike you I can quit whenever I want because I didn't buy into the responsibility meme. I don't give a frick. I know you're miserable because I see your kind every day. You slave away and then die of cancer at 50 and NO ONE remembers you.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous
    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Nobody cares you autistic loser

  17. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    As a NYC gay, I'm going to fricking SCREECH about the lack of RPG stuff. I'm in Southern Brooklyn so all I got is the Stand. They've got like, 1 PF game, and 1 5e game. It's mostly MtG though, plus the owner really likes HeroClix. (He also has those old star wars card game cards, so I used to buy a bunch). Compleat Strategist is all the way in the city and has a dearth of people. Tranquil Domain got shut down years ago. So the moral of the story is if you're in NY, just fricking play online.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I honestly just think it's the area. The quality of people here is just shit. Anything thats a mild inconvenience is a problem. They're lazy and I cant stand it here anymore.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Well, thing is, like a bunch of my old IRL buddies that we all went to HS back in '06. We played a frickton of D&D back then and in college. Okay, then we started moving out of the city - I moved to LI, so did another dude, two other people moved to PA, one to Vegas, and one stayed. But like, we all had Steam to play games on! Now we have Discord! I'm offering to run. I want to run. I like RPGs more than other forms of entertainment. But people can't make commit for 3 hours on a fricking Sunday? They don't even need to travel! Just stay in front of the computer.

        It fricking sucks too, because I like those guys, but it honestly feels like we've drifted apart because of proximity.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Yeah even video games are kinda a flop. I mean I'll play wow with my fiance but that's about it.

  18. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I ran a game for a bunch of irl friends after mostly running for my online buddies. Turns out the irl friends, although enthusiasic in conept, did not have time and energy for regular games. So I politely canceled the game and said those who want to join any future campaigns could tell me and I'll see if we can fit the schedule.

    I did not have to break off any friendships for it lol

  19. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >refuses to do something super simple and free to protect other people
    >drops his only friend over it because /misc/ told him to
    >is a whiny martyr with a persecution complex about it
    >doesn't understand why he has no friends

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      COVID vaccines were never meant to prevent transmission:
      https://www.reuters.com/article/factcheck-pfizer-vaccine-transmission/fact-check-preventing-transmission-never-required-for-covid-vaccines-initial-approval-pfizer-vax-did-reduce-transmission-of-early-variants-idUSL1N31F20E

      2.3 billion people are unvaccinated. /misc/ does not have 2.3 billion people
      https://pandem-ic.com/mapping-our-unvaccinated-world/

      Yes, he is a whiny b***h anyway. But at least he's not you, you NPC.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >to protect other people
      Yes, it's been super effective, hasn't it? I'm glad I trusted the United states government and a massive pharmaceutical company to have the public's best interests in mind.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      1) it doesn't protect others
      2) even if it did I don't see why that gives anyone the right to force me to have it.

      Try thinking for yourself. I'm not interested in "protecting" those who the gene pool has chosen to otherwise erase.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        and you're not interested in having friends either, we get it, smallbrains.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        [...]

        do you morons b***h about seatbelts and helmets and the other vaccines you've taken as well?

  20. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    Supremely based, congrats on actually standing up for your principles.

    I think in general a lot of men could learn a lot from some of the male values podcasters etc; they offer a much more rational and self sufficient alternative to the one pushed by the MSM (which goes a way to explaining why they made up charges against Tate when he was becoming too popular)

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >your principles = wackjob conspiracy theories

  21. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    your reaction to war is the pussiest ass shit imaginable ngl

  22. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >act of war
    >doesn't kill people
    Chanting "TRUMP" over and over again doesn't make you a war hero, it makes you a chump. Go kill one of the politicians that was for this, then we'll talk.

  23. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I remember why I haven't tried to make any friends in the past few years. I wonder how long it will be before people drop all this.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      It won't be this, it'll be something else. Because people as a whole are idiots, unless you're dealing with persons, but unfortunately a lot of persons are idiots too.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        I swear it wasn't always like this, or maybe I was just too young.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          It was, it's just that both you (because you were younger) and the world (because we hadn't hit the Information Age yet) didn't have access to these volumes of data. So now we do. And most people can't make sense of it.

          "The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new dark age."

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Who's quote? I like it.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              O tempora, o mores. Is this the age of both people who are into TTRPGs and internet users, that they don't recognize one of THE most seminal authors in the horror genre.

              Tell you what. The first half of his name is the strongest force in the Harry Potter universe. The second half is the second half of the name of a popular RTS and MMO franchise.

              Or you can just look it up.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Other guy posted it but I understand, I'm not a learned man. Stopped reading books much in high school because the brain fog hit and I'm only just getting back into literature now that I'm turning 30. I'll have to make a point to add him to my list.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                The black cat enthusiast is a bit of a divisive force these days, without even getting into stuff like how he liked to name said cat. He was a seminal force in the horror genre, but a lot of people like to day he's overrated. I feel that's a bit of a contrarian statement, given that his influence speaks for itself. Old-fashioned would be a better word. Quality does fluctuate between stories, and they're pretty singular in theme. But his ubiquity does mean that there are tons of readings of his stories on YouTube, so that's something you can try if you have trouble focusing on the written word.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                I have a long work commute so I've been listening to audiobooks. It's good to know that I can find readings.

  24. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    lol some dudes in this thread are giving themselves a visit from the FBI because they wanted to look cool (despite being anonymous) to other people (who are also anonymous)

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Holy fricking bingus they leaked the hecking no fly list and you're on it

  25. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I allow women in my games. However, I do not allow people to bring girlfriends. Wives are okay. But no girlfriends. My game is not here to be a couples activity for you, I don't feel the need to cater to a clingy chick wanting to police who her man hangs out with.
    This has caused some clashes over the years, but I stand by my policy. and yes, if a girl in the game starts dating someone else in the game, they are both removed. Sorry man, just don't need the drama. If she's bored, your chick can hang out with my wife and kids in the living room while we geek out in the basement, we'll get them a bottle of wine and they'll be fine.
    Oh yeah, I also have a no spectator policy, hate being gawked at. If you sit at the table, you play, otherwise go upstairs .

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      The "No Spectator" policy is understandable since you've got a wife and kids and need to focus on the game. It's tough that the distraction outweighs the benefit of someone observing how a game gets played and becoming interested that way. However with the hundreds of internet sessions online there's a pipeline for curious parties already in place that doesn't involve bothering you.

      Also the "exile of the couples" upstairs allows the wife a nice excuse to have a wine get together without worrying where you are.

      10/10 foot put down Dad-Anon. I appreciate this methodology despite having just book report repeated it in order to burn it to memory. May your players always be enthusiastic and your fun never dim.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Suck his dick any harder and the wife's going to leave him and take the kids.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          oh no

  26. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Yes, because he started to become an awful person. He got interested in kaballah and then started just being an butthole 24/7, it wasn't like he was great before that but now he's just constantly a caustic jerk, like he's trying to do psychic vampirism or some shit. So he isn't invited to my games anymore, it is hard because I just want to live and let live, and enjoy having players to GM for, but the last few times I let him play he made it awful for everyone and insulted me.

  27. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Yes. When I was in college, I used to have old high school friends come in from out of town one weekend a month and we'd game the entire weekend. One of my roommates was in the campaign, but kept having some other thing or another to do instead of playing. I stopped telling him which weekend we were gaming, since he couldn't be bothered to show up even though he lived in the same house. He also didn't ask when the next session was, and only found out by walking in while we were playing. He was briefly indignant, but afterwards never said anything else about it and didn't play with us again. We stayed friends.

  28. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >They're also annoying as shit as players. Sessions are 2 hours but they spend a solid hour talking about anything but whats going on in the game, complaining about being tired and work and shit.
    youre kind of the butthole here, but theyre partially responsible for not just leaving if the game is too much work.

  29. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    (Dead)
    >i lost my last actual friend cause he wanted to stick a fricking needle in me
    >must be nice having people to care about
    it must be nice to have a new troony janny who took the jab and thinks discussion like this doesn't belong on /tg/ when it does.
    Please please have a nice day. this is a thread about losing friends to autism.

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