5 cheatcodes to catch a gamer girlfriend


The girl gamer is a rare breed of lady. Like a ninja or a flying unicorn, she remains perpetually shrouded in myth and/or shadow. Statistics would have us believe that over 40 percent of gamers are female — but come on. When was the last time you got trash-talked on Modern Warfare 2 by the dulcet tones of a woman? The fact is: you have a better chance of meeting a girl with an interest in Gauguin than gaming (girls are a lot smarter than us, y’see).

But that’s not to say that female gamers don’t exist. You just need to adopt the right mindset and know where to look. If you pine for a fellow gamer to keep you warm at night — and your hairy roommate just isn’t cutting it — then you need to read this article. Armed with the following tips, you're guaranteed to land the gamer girlfriend of your dreams. Maybe.

#1: Stick to your own league

Amputated limbs is another sign to look for in a realistic gamer girlfriend.

Look at the girl in this article's header picture. Now erase her from your memory forever. She has been paid by Microsoft to look vaguely interested while holding an Xbox controller. As much as we’d like to believe otherwise, part-time models don’t spend their downtime playing Halo 3 in their underwear (with the possible exception of Jessica Chobot.)

Besides, the girl in that photo would almost certainly crush you to death with her elephant-sized hoofs. Just look at the size of those bloody things! Gargantuan feet notwithstanding, our advice is to aim lower. Morgan Webb, Felicia Day and that cute chick who licks Xbox controllers are not going to date you. Stick to your own league.

What we’re trying to say here, is that beggars can’t be choosers. There is only one stud gamer in this world and his name is Vin Diesel. Chances are, your guns don’t measure up. Set your sights on a girl gamer with slightly less facial hair than you — if she agrees to go on a date, you’re doing pretty well for yourself.

#2: Join an MMO

World of Warcraft: there be ladies.

MMOs are unusually popular with girl gamers. In fact, the genre's crawling with more female chromosomes than a lonely mad scientist's petri dish. According to a recent Nielsen study, over two-thirds of online gamers are women — and most of ‘em can be found playing World of Warcrack. (Er, we mean World of Warcraft.) With over 40,000 registered female players in the US alone, WoW is the ultimate hunting ground for affection-starved gamers. It’s basically one big lonely hearts club, but with trolls, gnomes and ogres. [So, no change there then. -- Ed.]

But it’s not just the desperate-and-dateless who play World of Warcraft. Some confirmed WoW-hotties include Cameron Diaz, Mila Kunis, Kate Beckinsale, Jenna Jameson and Playboy model Adrianne Curry — who reportedly enjoys playing in the buff. (See below.) As WoW blogger ‘Jaimie’ writes: “There are literally millions of people waiting to find a new raiding partner, on their computer screen and in life.”

Adrianne Curry is a self-confessed WoW fanatic (but please refer to Tip 1).

Unlike most multiplayer games, MMOs are about establishing lasting relationships, as opposed to forming rivalries. For example, on Valentines Day you can surprise your WoW crush with a flower or piece of garden gnomeelry in-game. As you can imagine, this tends to go down better than shooting her in the head and tea-bagging her crumpled corpse. [In real-life too — Ed.]

Our advice is to join a guild with a skewered gender-ratio and then latch onto the most affable elf babe in your party. Naturally, voice-chat is a must during MMO courtships — otherwise you might be wooing a 40-year old mechanic called Bruce. If you play your cards right, you’ll soon be chatting on the phone, arranging lunch dates and making beautiful Kaldorei babies together. As an added bonus, you’ll also get to date her in-game avatar — that’s two romantic partners for the price of one! (If she decides to start playing a dude, just go with it. Experimentation is the key to a healthy relationship.)

The only problem is... are MMO-fans really proper gamers? You might as well be dating a girl who only plays The Sims. (Just sayin’.)

#3: Become a paypig

girl-gamer-1GameCrush is a new online 'dating' service that lets you play video games with women in exchange for cold, hard cash. It's basically a virtual brothel that substitutes Halo for sex. No really. For the princely sum of US$41.70 an hour, you get to choose a lady from Gamecrush’s roster of buxom ‘PlayDates’ and proceed to pwn her in the video game of your choice. Or you could let her beat your avatar to a bloody pulp in-game — whatever floats your boat.

The question is, are you desperate enough to try and score with a platonic prostitute who is solely in it for the cash?

"Hell yeah!" would appear to be the most popular response. Within a few hours of its beta launch, the Gamecrush website was swamped by thousands of requests from horny gamers in an orgy of passion-fuelled server annihilation. “The GameCrush Public Beta is temporarily unavailable due to the incredible user response (more than 10,000 inquiries in five minutes),” explained the front page.

Of course, the PlayDates aren't really gamers -- no more than a dominatrix is a bonafide school teacher. But at least they're willing to talk to you... for a price.

#4: Hit a gaming bar

Mana Bar.

The bar has long been the Mecca of the dating world. Fueled by Dutch courage and with beer-goggles donned, it’s the most likely place to find a romantic partner (or a sweaty night of mutual self-loathing).

If either of those prospects sounds appealing to you, you need to get your butt to a gaming bar. These uniquely-themed watering holes attempt to combine gaming with social drinking — and they’re bringing girl gamers out of the woodworks. We like to imagine that the men who built these bars were galvanized by Field of Dreams-style visions: “If you build it, they will come, etc.”

For Australians, there’s the Mana Bar in Brisbane, a “funky drinking venue” co-owned by the legendary Ben Crowshaw (AKA Yahtzee). The Mana Bar features playable consoles seven days a week, with an emphasis on social gaming. Remember, you’re not here to devastate noobs with blistering kill-streaks. If you want to impress a girl gamer you need to make her laugh — and what could be funnier than warbling unmusically into a SingStar microphone?

Meanwhile, Japanese gamers can swing by Roppongi, Tokyo and check out Ludia’s Bar. As its name implies, Ludia’s Bar is inspired by the popular JRPG series Dragon Quest which features an inn with the same name.

The bar’s grand opening coincided with the release of Dragon Quest VI on the Nintendo DS (coincidentally, the girl gamer's console of choice). While it doesn't recreate the 'Ye Olde Taveyrn' setting, Ludia's Bar does offer a bunch of themed dishes and cocktails; including a 'Hyad Cool' drink and something called a 'Goddess's Fruit'. Frankly, if a girl rebuffs your attempts to buy her a Hyad Cool drink, she's just not worth it. (Who turns down a free Hyad Cool drink? Seriously?)

Unfortunately, the likelihood of these places being rampant sausage factories is a lot higher than your average bar 'n' bistro. Bummer.

#5: Convert a non-gamer

To be honest, this is probably the only tip you need. Y'see, love is a hideous and complicated monster beyond any of our understanding. If you narrow the field to just girl gamers, you'll be embarking on an impossible mission — even if you happen to look like Hugh Jackman's hotter, younger brother.

Related: How to convert your girlfriend to gaming

Our advice is to find a girl you like, and who by some cosmic coincidence, happens to like you back. If the relationship works out, she's bound take an interest in your hobbies... including gaming.

  1. 13 years ago

    screw getting a "gamer" girlfriend. Getting a regular one is hard enough!

  2. 13 years ago

    I thought this article was hilarious! But I think your best bet is to convert a girl into a gamer. There are games out their for everybody. But the key is to start her off slow with games that might bore you are be below your level of game play, but she might like because its easy to play. A good gateway game for girls are the sims.

    • 13 years ago

      ah yeah you're right about the sims. strangely i've known girls that went from the sims 2 to gta3 san andreas to assassins creed t othe sims 3... so who knows?
      anyway I would keep em away from fps' as I think they like 3d person (or arcade) better...

    • 13 years ago
      James Durbey

      @ Gan:

      Agreed on them liking third person games. The only shooter my girlfriend likes to play is L4D/2 split screen coop with me on the 360. Only other shooter she's enjoyed was Goldeneye back in the day playing with her brothers. And the game she got the most addicted to....drum roll....Vice City. So thar you go.

    • 13 years ago

      Agree with pat, co-op is the way to go, I've recently converted my Wife 🙂
      Note that it might be easier to do with younger females (not over 40)
      We started out with Spyro after she "got me" a PS3 for my b-day (which i picked out and ordered and paid for 😉 Then we moved onto some of the LEGO games which are quite easy and fun to play together. Then we got all the way through Eternal Sonata. Lately she loves to watch me play Assasin's Creed II (makes me stop playing it when she goes to sleep so she doesn't miss out on the story line) Overall i think that it is doable, just start them off slow. Of coarse younger age (24) is a big plus to being successful.

  3. 13 years ago

    I have been trying to convert my (super hot) girl to be a gamer girl for a while, and it is not sticking...

    What you should do is make a list of games that would get a non-gamer girl interested in gaming...

    I will try Braid next.. It will remind her of Mario Bro's, which every girl has played at least once.. but also challenge her intellect....

    Sometimes I ask myself, If I am to succeed in making my hottie a gamer girl... will I then regret it???... Get off my PS3...

  4. 13 years ago

    I got my girl into the first Resistance when it came out. Had to play co-op with her which was frustrating but I tried to make it fun with her. Eventually she started playing the single player on her own when I was at work. So co-op game could be a good start to, but it really all depends on the girl.

  5. 13 years ago

    PS: for many girls Wii is a great start, start her off with Wii + Wii Fit for her bday or valentine's...

  6. 13 years ago

    I got lucky and found a girl who is willing to try new things, and after trying a few video games out, she started to really like Borderlands. As I said, I got lucky.

  7. 13 years ago

    Im a girl gamer and my boyfriend bought assassins creed 1 when it first came out and I was hooked. I then went on to sims 2 which my boyfriend got for me and was hooked, then it was fable 2, then gta IV, cod [email protected] then borderlands, fat princess, assassins creed 2, fairytale fights and oblivion. Theres been others but I cant remember. All I can say to guys out there that want to get there girlfriend into gaming is start off simple even say "can you man this window while I do..." thats how I got hoooked on nazi zombies. Even play co-op with a girl and make sure she doesnt die and praise her for doing something right.

  8. 13 years ago

    I met a gal gamer in my college..:)..boy..never thought it would be possible ya knw.:D..especailly in my country

  9. 13 years ago
    Cody Blevins

    man this article is awesome i got my girlfriend (Erica) playing rock band 2...
    ...yeah 😀 it was pretty interesting comparing DLC learning we have the exact same DLC

  10. 13 years ago

    I know someone that married a girl he met through warhawk. a second couple that are getting married in july through warhawk, and i myself even went to stay with a hottie in canada that i met through warhawk.

    I play with plenty of ladies i met through the good ol'hawk and have at least 12 on my friendlist.

    Just like out in the wilds there are girls all over the place, you just need to know how to communicate with them. Grunts don't count.

  11. 13 years ago
    lucky guy

    i got really lucky. the girl i met was already into games. and in my league. we have great convos about mw2. she puts getting an Xbox over almost everything else xD

  12. 13 years ago

    actually if you do find a girl that like games like yourself, you will both probably won't be playing video games together but making out and going out on dates. Happened to me, we only played games once during our relationship.

  13. 13 years ago

    It's one of those rare times that being gay is an advantage - finding myself a gamer boyfriend was easy!

    Only trouble is, when a new game comes out we don't see eachother for a week...

  14. 13 years ago

    Almost 5 years now, me and my girl met on WoW.

    Now we have 2 kids.......

    GL and HF xD

  15. 13 years ago
    Lucky Guy

    swear to f-ing god - At my university I met this Brazilian chick that came to Canada to study Computer Science. She never gamed much before - but she willingly got hooked on GTA, Grand Turismo 3, Counter Strike, COD MW2, Starcraft, and now Starcraft2 (beta). Shes pretty amazing at SC2 and CoD MW2.

    Oh and guess what - shes a ballet dancer and was a friggin fashion model before university - the tall, tan, fit, long haired brazilian type - Sooooooo hot. She also cooks, cleans (she moved in with me - I pay rent, but haha fair enough), sews, and loves my parents. What a dreamboat.

    How did I score? Well Im fairly attractive, but she can def do better physically. Seems that what really did it for her is that when we met I didnt start drooling automatically. I treated her politely, but like she was one of the guys.

    As somewhat of a nerd, let me say... Forget all that high school popularity bullsh-it guys - in the real world, personality and talent DO make it. Dont act like youre not worthy!

  16. 13 years ago

    im a gamer girl, and honestly feel insulted when anyone who only plays WOW or Wii call themselves a gamer.
    ewww :p

  17. 13 years ago

    i'm a gamer girl also. this article was funny but i suppose it's kinda right most of my friends even the ones addicted to anima hates gaming to hard they say.i lost a PS2 controller when my friend played final fantasy 10. Same thing happened with the new prince of Persia. some much money wasted

  18. 13 years ago

    uhg. this article was funny but all these comments are gay. Seriously its like you are all talking about training a puppy. I am a gamer girl and I have been my whole life because I grew up with an older brother. I love MW2 on 360 and play it religiously. I personally think its just silly to say things like "start her off with wii"... I HATE wii with a fiery passion. I hate guitar hero and want to sock it in the face. But thats probably because I tested Smash Hits at Activision and it pretty much killed it for me. I am hilarious. I play drums. I am not a unicorn. Although I think it would be awesome to be a ninja.. 🙂 My point is... there are kick ass girls all over the place.. and if its meant to be it will be. Maybe some of you are having trouble converting your gf's/hot friends into gamers because you keep introducing them to crap ass games and condescending their intelligence. Some girls, such as myself, actually prefer shooting bitches in the face...

  19. 3 years ago

    lose some fucking weight, go outside, and find the right one for yourself

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