Hyper-sexual Bards are retarded

Most musicians are weird nerds. Even a lot of professionals. This idea seems to come from 70s and 80s rock stars. I just want my bard to study folk history and play the songs of hero’s, battles fought long ago, heartbreak and murder ballads.

  1. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    The idea comes from centuries of people using poetry and song to seduce and fuck bitches.

  2. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Hyper-brave adventurers is retarded.

    Most people are boring normies. Even a lot of cave explorers. This idea seems to come from 70s and 80s rock collectors. I just want my character to study women's studies and play the songs of rappers, opps fought long ago, twerk and street ballads.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      I’d much rather have unrealistically brave characters than uncomfortable sexual ones

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Meme culture has ruined bards forever. Whenever I want to play a bard the GM always gives me this worried look.

      I would rather deal with a musical autist then a murderhobo

  3. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Nothing is stopping you

  4. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    With you to a large part. I prefer to see bards played as scholars and skalds for the most part. That said, they're traveling folk with a talent for music. They're probably going to use it to get laid. That's normal enough. I draw the line at "I seduce le dragon xD" tier shit.
    But as above anon says, nothing is stopping you. Go play the character you want to play instead of complaining nobody else is.

  5. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >70s and 80s
    In which century?
    Because we know for a fact that Mozart fucked.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      I think it comes from minstrels being itinerant and often being relatively unsupervised in the company of high born women as teachers and entertainers. In the context of bard as lore keeper and storyteller it's totally ridiculous though. Celtic and Scandinavian bards and skalds were more in the class of priest, diplomat, and politician. Which is not to say they didn't fuck but it was hardly their defining trait.

      Yeah the average 5e player is definitely basing their bard off of Mozart and ancient Greeks and not a fantasy Robert plant. Totally.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        >fantasy Robert plant
        So... Robert Plant?

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          Beat me to it

  6. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I think it comes from minstrels being itinerant and often being relatively unsupervised in the company of high born women as teachers and entertainers. In the context of bard as lore keeper and storyteller it's totally ridiculous though. Celtic and Scandinavian bards and skalds were more in the class of priest, diplomat, and politician. Which is not to say they didn't fuck but it was hardly their defining trait.

  7. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Musicians and actors have been acknowledge to have loose morals since the Roman times you fucking spaz.
    There's a reason they were considered interchangeable with prostitutes.

  8. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I wanna be a magical archaeologist, delving ruins and exploring chasms and shit. I hate that music and performance is so tied to the bard class.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      3e did this best with all the variants. I don't remember the exact variation but there was one that told you to dump most of the music, replace some of it with inspirational speech, and boosted exploration and knowledge skills.
      Man, 3e had some great material. Too bad it was so bloated and unbalanced when it came to tiers of power.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        I suppose that's just how the game goes when you have so much stuff. Can't all be homeruns.

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          Yeah, agreed. If I were ever to run 3e again it would be heavily curated. Sold all my shit and went back to OSR and BRP though so meh.

  9. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I play all my bards as rakish noblemen and dilletantes.

  10. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    It's cause the rabble started focusing on sex and drugs and rock&roll. Technical talent and traditions go out the window when you focus on lesser things. The rockstar popularity trickled into the minion minds of the masses and ruined bards as a whole.

  11. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Yeah well the modern bard is a pansexual rock star that fucks animals so get with the program, chud. Don't make me flag your game for Offensive Content.

  12. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Everything that became the iconic behaviour of d&d archetypes is retarded:
    The bard that fucks anything that moves,
    the beefhead mongoloid barbarian with retard strength,
    the quirky thief that pickpockets party members,
    the chaotic neutral whatever that acts like a psychotic retard effectly one upping actual chaotic evil psychos,
    The lawful autistic paladin continually dectecting evil and alignments of every pc or noc he mets,
    Le scottish dwarf drunkard #12345670970865...
    The nth drizzt clone
    Etc...

    Those are lowest common denominator behaviours that in a way or another everyone has encountered at least once because d&d is babby first ttrpg and teenegers to 26yo dudes that don't need any depth in roleplaying to have fun.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      I don't know what is worse, the barbarian who constantly fucks things up because he thinks playing a raging retard is funny when any sane party would kick his ass to the curb after the first incident, the chaotic stupid moron who justifies his shitty actions to not drop to chaotic evil, the thief who steals others weapons or the Mcguffin again for the lols or the autistic paladin who again justifies his shitty behavior because "I have god and the law on my side" and somehow never falls despite violating the spirit of the rules and never living up to them to the best of his ability.

  13. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Bards should, by all historical accounts, be played as spies. They were privy to overhearing all sorts of conversations when playing for nobility or royals. They travelled about so it wasn't weird to see a new bard in the hall, so they weren't considered suHispanicious. And they would spread stories where they went, so they were good at remembering information over the long term. A bard was in a perfect position to slip into high society and go mostly unnoticed while gathering intel.

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