I genuinely do not understand what the frick is going on in this game.

I genuinely do not understand what the frick is going on in this game.

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  1. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    thats what happens when you buy jap-ubisoft shit

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >ubisoft
      This meme is so tired

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        As long as Elden Ring and Ganker exist there wont be harmony. Elden Ring will be 20 years old in 2042 and you will have troglodytes (probably the same troglodytes) being mad about its success. Elden Ring broke nu Ganker more than any game, almost as much as actual events like Gamergate.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >ubisoft shit
      i cannot think of any game thats more the opposite of ubisoft open worlds

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        I can.

        Dark Souls.

  2. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    You need to read every item description and take notes on every npc dialogue to have even the vaguest clue as to what's happening, and even then some things are just ambiguous or contradictory.

  3. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Japs literally develop all the mechanics and gameplay first and then they come up with stories to somehow try to tie it all together afterwards, it's the opposite of western devs who make the story and characters first and then try to come up with gameplay to fit it afterwards, don't think about it too hard.

  4. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >Slant-eyed asiatic shit video game plot is nonsensical.

    Truly, I am SHOCKED.

  5. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    You go to the tree so you can become lord of the tree, but the tree is blocked so you burn the tree and then kill the king/queen and their dog

  6. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    no one does

  7. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Read boss remembrance descriptions for a general story. Gideon Ofnir an the finger reader will give some too. Everything else is in item descriptions or other NPC dialogue but there’s a ton of minute stuff in world detail that only one guy in the world noticed then shared online and made everyone feel like dumbasses

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      you literally cant even tell me why a giant disembodied finger exists, why it goes limp and stands up in equivilent of a finger t-pose or anythign related to it and the other fingers.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        they're literally antennas to the greater will

  8. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >game that appeals to casuals requires a bit of reading comprehension
    >immediately filters 99% of Ganker
    pottery

  9. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Tree big. Tree has ring. Woman no like ring. Break ring. Chaos everywhere. Chosen few fight to fix ring.

  10. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    there are cosmic gods
    there is a planet with humans
    a parasitical being who is part of/supports one of the cosmic gods crash lands on the planet and sprouts into a tree
    a religion is created around this tree and fundamental rules of existence are made physical in a giant magic rune
    A godly family is formed with queen marika as originator who all take power from this rune.
    bla bla bla milennia of nothing happening
    marikas firstborn gets killed, the shattering of the rune is started and everything goes to shit.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      only good take, some morons were arguing that the tree is the ONLY NON PARASITICAL ALIEN BEING. Like... you must be moronic to think that thats the only non outher god...

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        I don't know if I'd call all outer gods parasites but it's clear they are all buttholes, treeman included

  11. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >Once upon a time there were people
    >Then a giant yellow parasite came to the planet
    >This grew into a giant golden tree that people worshipped
    >Then everyone started bickering with each other
    >Now after the fighting most are dead and your job is to kill off the rest
    Wow, deep lore, much interest

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Why does the Greater Will care for some parasite? Why would literal gods care about some parasite? This autistic projected bullshit makes no sense.

  12. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    You have to become THE ELDEN RING

  13. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    No one does but they will still make/watch a 10 hour lore video about the genius writing of Zanzibart
    It's incredible how from software managed to create a setting that is so generic and boring, and yet has stupidly convoluted and nonsensical lore. I blame it on george martin. Just like i blame him for creating dozens of characters whose names all sound the same.

  14. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    three finger propaganda in this thread. there was no life until the crucible. that was the origin of life on the planet. the crucible was formed after the elden beast fell to the earth

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      haha eye balls go fwooosh

  15. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    okay so basically mob psycho season 3 with swords

  16. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    The first thing you have to understand is that ranni absolutely DOES have a magic pussy that's as cold as the moon and as beautiful as the sea, and meanwhile radahn is an absolute badass and you should model your life after him in any way possible. Any other questions?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      cold pussy sounds like a deal breaker tbqh

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        No you fool! It's exhilarating. Refreshing. Necessary.

  17. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    the dark soul/elden ring was shattered into many pieces so the outcast hollow/tarnished must now go on a quest to defeat the great lords/great lords to collect their lord souls/great runes so that you can beat the game and choose between becoming the new lord of the land or burning the tree/bonfire

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      they really are all the same game

  18. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >Can't enter the erdtree
    >Get told to burn it to open the way
    >"Why is it on fire????"

  19. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Instead of doing a story that is simple on the surface and using lore to give it some extra depth, like they did with DeS and DaS, bamco gaslighted their entire fanbase into thinking these game never had any story to begin with and just did away with any kind of compelling narrative, using "lore" to cover up for any of the game's shortcomings.

  20. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    EMBOLDENED BY THE FLAME OF AMBITION

  21. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    no one does. its a meme.

  22. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    It'd be nice if a souls game would be happening at the time of everything going south, not fifty five million years after to where nothing matters at that point in time.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      that'd require them to make something different, please understand

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      You know damn well that would be a shit game. Either the player has no agency whatsoever and you’re just along for the ride watching everything go to shit, or they have to come up with a handful of “see you TOTALLY made a difference” dogshit quest to satisfy the people that insist that they be able to avert the crisis in someway. You’re asking for an RPG with major branching paths and these are action games. Not even Bioware’s stuff came close to pulling this off.

  23. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    a woman fused with a God had it with the current system and shattered it, this broke the world
    in this broken world, nobody can die, theyre all rotting away holding the shattered pieces of the ring that kept the world in order
    You go on a quest to collect them all to save the lands
    as you defeat each shard-holder, the world around you changes
    each biome has its own story
    that's basically it.

  24. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    no life loser
    why are you posting late game areas on a board for videogames??
    go suck some whiney journalist

  25. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    why does it matter?
    just enjoy exploring around and killing big monsters

  26. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    It was all Zanzibart's master plan.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Is there a YouTube video I can watch to learn about this Zanzibart?

  27. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    It's just Dark Souls, but instead of a flame it's a spirograph.

  28. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    The Souls formula is to cross-translate some random, disconnected footnotes, blend them together, then when anyone says it's stupid and makes no sense, accuse them of "not getting it"

  29. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Neither did the writers, none of it actually means anything, and nothing is connected.
    Don't try to make sense of souls games, there's nothing there, the dots aren't made to connect unless you're willing to make massive logical leaps.

  30. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    The game is about how one women ruined the world because she was thirsty for her ex's wiener.

  31. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Once upon a time the kingdom was a good place. Then a disaster happened and now everyone in the kingdom is a crazy zombie. It’s up to you to kill the zombie that already did what you did in an endless cycle.
    Tadaaaah that’s every from game story. Guzzle the slop like a good moron

  32. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    histrionic bawd blows up reality and you have to fix it or make it worse

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