ITT we make fun of city dwarves

  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    An elf with a small dick made this topic.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      t. shaved

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Some of them don't even know the name of their clan!

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Some of them smoke cigarettes. The sun-smoten fools see so many chimneys in their cities than now they think they are one as well!

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Magnus liked snuff

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Leaves mountain
    >Abandones clan
    >Disrespects values
    >Shaves beard
    >Sucks human dick
    >wHy dOn't yOu gUyS LiKe mE ArEn't wE LikE ThE SaMe hurr durr?!

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      When did you realize elves are just Dwarfs who abandoned civilized society to become degenerates?

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >be city dwarf
    >grow mutton-chops that even the most burly and noble of humans could only dream of having
    >undergo a series of glorious adventures
    >my impressive chops and heroic legacy inspire humans to abandon their half-assed elf poser clean-shave fetish and return to righteous dawi emulation.
    >still get called "babyface" by dwarven relatives and historians because the cost of leaving the underground capitol of the dwarves was losing by chin-hairs, being forever unable to grow a full beard.
    >humans think "babyface" is either my actual name, or the name for mutton-chops in Dawi.

    Why Even Live?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Serves you right for fraternising with them humans and gnomes. Dwarves work for dwarves alone!

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    city dwarf more like shitty dwarf lol gottem

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >be city dwarf
      >grow mutton-chops that even the most burly and noble of humans could only dream of having
      >undergo a series of glorious adventures
      >my impressive chops and heroic legacy inspire humans to abandon their half-assed elf poser clean-shave fetish and return to righteous dawi emulation.
      >still get called "babyface" by dwarven relatives and historians because the cost of leaving the underground capitol of the dwarves was losing by chin-hairs, being forever unable to grow a full beard.
      >humans think "babyface" is either my actual name, or the name for mutton-chops in Dawi.

      Why Even Live?

      Serves you right for fraternising with them humans and gnomes. Dwarves work for dwarves alone!

      now now guys don't get all steamed up about it
      you just need to blow off some steam

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >hail from sundered clan
    >staggering 60" tall, taller than most high elves even
    >built like a shitbrickhouse
    >beard is long and lavishly garden gnomeeled
    >even sundered, clan's masons, engineers, and smiths are famous
    >human settlement pays for a new sewer, pipe their excrement into the tombs of a rival clan nearby
    Feels good under the sun.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >pipe their excrement into the tombs of a rival clan

      based and grudgepilled

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >staggering 60" tall, taller than most high elves even
      What shithole setting has sub 6' elves?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Maybe city elves are shorter, because of the smog?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Maybe city elves are shorter, because of the smog?

        No, he's talking about the sundered dwarves of AD&D, which already has shorter than human elves, and high elves specifically average below 60", as do drow and aquatic elves. sylvan and grey elves are still shorter than humans on average, only the shortest of them would be shorter than an above average sundered dwarf.

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >ITT: Seething Mountaincels cry about Citychads
    Yeah we get it, your great, great, great grandfather had a long beard so "muh clan is strong." Once you're done sucking off the dead how about you get a real job in the city, get some sun and touch some grass?

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >poisoned by smog due to poor ventilation
    >main dietary staples are beer, withered potatoes, and mushrooms grown in their own shit, meat is a rare delicacy
    >dairy, fruit, and vegetables completely unheard of
    >anemic due to lack of sunlight
    >lives in a tiny apartment above his workplace, rarely leaves his block let alone his fortress

    Conceptualize it. This post made by hill dwarf gang.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I'm not seeing the downsides, lackbeard.

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Listen laddy I’m not one to disrespect dwarves in any capacity, but some of the “unique” ones don’t exactly get an equal share of the haul.

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