>Metroid is a bad game because it doesn't tell you to shoot the red doors with missiles

>Metroid is a bad game because it doesn't tell you to shoot the red doors with missiles
Are zoomers really this stupid?

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  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    +
    wtf is this crap?
    stop shilling your shitty videos here.
    You looked like a homosexual with the zoomer hair puff you turned into a mohawk with the homosexual spiked collar. You bleed HIV.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I'm not the guy in the video. I called him a moron.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      fpbp OP kys

  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    he has a point though, youre just blinded by nostalgia

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >regular gun doesn't work on red doors
      >get missiles
      >try them on red doors
      WOW THAT WAS HARD!

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        zoomers expect to be hand held. Back during the NES days games did not hand hold you. Even games on PC expected you to figure out the mechanics yourself. without a guide to train you how to play the game or a tutorial. They expected you to learn through trial and error. That is how games were meant to be originally.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Amusingly there is an enemy in Metroid called a Zoomer

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          This isn't exactly true since the instruction manuals gave you a general idea of how to play each game.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Metroids owners manual didn't tell you about anything, you got a little bit of story that was roughly translated, and like 10 monsters they named and listed in the manual, the basic controls and thats it. It may have told you the names of the abilities and a brief summary of what they did but they didn't tell you stuff like certain attacks opened certain doors or secrets or stuff like that. They used Nintendo power and the 1800 number to get you to pay them for that info. Cause we didn't have internet yet, the major cities started getting internet in the early late 80s early 90s. Metroid came out in 85/86 in the US.

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              >Metroids owners manual didn't tell you about anything
              Don't talk about things you don't know

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                You had to use your imagination to make those illustrations go along with the actual game.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                I was going to say, I distinctly remembered the book talking about missiles and doors. God, I miss instruction manuals.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                Nintendo used the $20.00 a minute phone line and the outrageously priced nintendo power to give real instructions and tutorials. That is why all the old games are so hard. Hell most were translated WRONG with broken english (Simons Quest) Final Fantasy etc. Can you tell me what you were supposed to do in Gauntlet? And how were you supposed to figure out the "magic words"?

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          In relation to the first post, its hilarious because red doors took 5 missiles to open, zoomers would flip shit because of no feedback response after one

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      i go back and play the original every few months on emulators. GTFO zoomer there is no reason in this world you should have taste this bad.

  3. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I see the new trend is retrospective videos. How delightfully boring

  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >metroid nes is full of lots of cryptic bullshit such as bombing random tiles to progress further
    >playing super metroid has been a smooth experience so far because I've just gotten used to it
    ngl its satisfying and fun but man if I played these games at a young age I would have been so lost

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >random tiles
      If you pay attention to contextual and environmental cues you can figure out which ones you're supposed to hit.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        You're right. I was hitched on the first few times you had to do it to make hard progress but after that it kinda came naturally.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        There are definitely some random bullshit secrets in the original Metroid, but you do eventually develop a good "Metroid sense" (intuition) for it that'll let you find most of the secrets without much effort. I found that satisfying when I played through it the first time.
        I also really dig the combat in Metroid 1, and the atmosphere it creates. I wish the series had ended up with a more methodical combat, instead of Samus being so overpowered. Are there any modern Metroidvania games where the character is weak enough that combat with ordinary enemies is tense for most of the game?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >I would have been so lost
      yeah that was the point

  5. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Wait. There are no manuals in the Switch online games?
    wtf? Nintendo has always included instructions on all their VC releases. Even on WiiU. Why is this $50 a year subscription service missing such a basic feature.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      https://www.nintendo.co.jp/clv/manuals/en/index.html
      https://www.nintendo.co.jp/clvs/manuals/en_us/index.html
      How many times do they have to give us the manuals?

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Touch spike
    >Die
    >Castlevania, Mega Man, and Ninja Gaiden are all bad games because they didn't tell you that spikes instantly killed you. One game where that happens, sure. But three? Now that's where I'm calling bullshit.

  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    the real issues with OG metroid are the lack of in game map and how fricking israeli it is with health pickups

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >lack of an in-game map
      Just remember where you went, homie.
      > how fricking israeli it is with health pickups
      Play the FDS version.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >lack of in game map
      that was based and made people draw their own
      pointless today because internet

  8. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    It clearly states in the Game Manual that the red doors take 5 missles to open. Im looking at it right now

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      but most kids never read their manuals back in the day.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        complete lies. reading the manuals was cool. my favorite one was the SMB 2 manual

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          birdo was a troony.
          But no, most kids I knew never opened a manual to a game they had. They got thrown away with the boxes the game came in that is why they are so scarce when you go to buy them now from retro shops.

  9. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    some games just aren't made for certain people
    i might as well b***h about puzzle games not being choreographed

  10. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >THEY DIDN'T TELL ME THERE WAS A RUN BUTTON
    >HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW I HAD TO RUN

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      This was unironically me.

  11. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >imma just walk around and around the same block forever, and maybe some day I'll touch some food by accident

    Are zoomers really this stupid?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      🙂

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >Block disappears
      >spins in place for eternity
      zoom zooooooooooooom

  12. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I"d like to curb stomp that pussy

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      He will end up turning into a troony. Just wait, being a "games journalist" will accelerate his metamorphosis into a hideous speedrunning sexual deviant.

  13. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    how much is The Escapist paying Yahtzee to keep them relevant?

  14. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Yes, it's a well-known fact that zoomers are borderline moronic.

  15. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    OK geemer.

  16. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    man it just shows how moronic gamers are today, the feeling of experimentation is gone and thats sad because it was my favorite thing about games.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I blame youtube game reviews and its source AVGN

  17. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Back then you had the manual telling you what to do troughout the first half of the game. With that missing, and if you never interacted with Metroid in any capacity, I can see how someone wouldn't know what to do. Then again it's questionable if they'd read the manual if they had one nowadays.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I played without the manual my first time and figured it out with basic problem solving skills.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        They never put the moves for street fighter or mortal kombat on the arcade cabinets.
        You were expected to figure the button combinations out yourself to do special moves and fatalities.

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