>Planned on DMing a one shot to give my DM a break
>DM'd and finished Phandelver, felt confident
>Just gonna run Candlekeep chapter 1
>Prep everything in Foundry
>Had a panic attack and started blanking out when the session started
The session had to be called off, and my friends understood and were sympathetic, but I want to kill myself
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>Had a panic attack and started blanking out when the session started
>The session had to be called off, and my friends understood and were sympathetic, but I want to kill myself
I really wish I could be more sympathetic and empathetic to your plight. Unfortunately, I have alcohol in me. So I can only be honest. I used to be like that... as a TEENAGER. Then I fricking grew up into an incredibly socially awkward 20-something. After so much social ostracism and ridicule, I finally fricking grew a pair and resolved myself to not give a flying frick about additional ridicule and scorn I might get as a result of a social interaction. So I built up emotional scars and armor to the point that I don't panic over interacting with anybody anymore. ESPECIALLY when it comes to PLAYING GAMES with FRIENDS.
And so should you.
You still sound like a teenager tbh
Then I'm a teenager that doesn't have a panic attack and blanking when it comes to playing games with friends.
Or did you develop unhealthy coping mechanisms like alcoholism?
Reminder: Alcohol is man's best friend and anyone talking shit about it is most likely a lizardfolk.
Alcohol ruined my kidneys before the age of thirty. Some friend.
>kidneys
What the frick were you drinking
A lot, clearly.
You sound like a mopey pussy.
Trolls gonna troll
In other news, look on the bright side, life as a human is nothing but experiencing as many forms of suffering as you can collect in a lifetime
any joy and peace you get is in those margins and footnotes of your life
The real fricked up thing is, unless you teach yourself how to remember nice things, chances are all you'll have are the memories you made surviving, so..
do what you can to enjoy the little things, and allow yourself to be in the moment when you're at the table to game.
It wasn't a social anxiety thing.
I didn't carefully plan out the opening, where they enter candlekeep and all that shit. It's not pre-prepped, and I thought "Oh, I'll just wing this part, I have the actual 1st chapter part nice and prepped"
I was very very wrong.
I learnt a valuable lesson.
I can't improvise for fricking shit.
>Packaged modules, teaching DMs wrong as a joke since 1984
Word.
Make a homebrew setting, then everything you say is inherently true. If your players point out any contradictions, you can just say there are conflicting sources in-world.
Pathetic
>5e players are genuinely like this
You deserve to be ass-raped by WotC.
Anon, you just got stage fright. Same thing as public speaking, you have to have confidence to run a game. This comes with experience, but preparation helps immensely.
If you don't know what's going on, how are you ever going to improvise? Even if you're running something off of pre-existing materials, make your own notes. This process will help solidify those details in your mind and give you something to refer to for the points that you thought were important.
It be like that sometimes anon.
>Be me.
>Playing Only War game.
>Features extensive custom lore and regiments.
>GM hyped for his world and lore to be discovered.
>First session, next to no one really engages due to being speechless stormtroopers.GM hasn't GM'd in a while, so he's not too confident and the lack of engagement leaves him uncertain.
>When he does build up some steam, table stops him to correct him on military hierarchy because one of them was apparently involved (briefly) with some military group and it's too unrealistic for a Major to be in charge of a FOB and not a Colonel.
>Have to thank him at the end of each session deliberately and tell him it was a good session that I thoroughly enjoyed, so he doesn't lose motivation.
>AFAIK none of the other players are aware they're doing this.
Your reaction is fair anon.
weakling, just ghost the group, you'll never recover
I get you, I volunteered to run a module myself and was getting sick every afternoon the day of the game. I would be sitting on the toilet all day, have trouble breathing, and would drink a little before the game would start. Even half a year in, it literally never got better even though I was desperately hoping subjecting myself to it would stop me from feeling like a nervous wreck. the players obviously noticed, and I had a mental breakdown during one of the games where I was super unhappy with how an encounter went for the party and smashed my mirror with my fist during a break. everyone agreed to put the game on hiatus, but the group eventually just stopped talking to me for very understandable reasons. it was a fricking shame because I had fun playing with them and i just fricked it up like i do with every good thing i ever have in my life.
jesu christo wtf is wrong with u its a game u tard
Its not a panic attack. It's called a brain fart. You just couldn't come up with stuff or forgot things. That's not a panic attack. Care less about the storyshit/lore and all that, and focus on making sure the game is fun. You'll start to improve.
You'll do better next time