Post like Pokemon are real

FUCK THIS COLD FRONT. My Crabrawler was easy to take care of he was small and didn't eat much, but suddenly we get hit with a little snow and now he's 5'5 and eats ten times as much. This is gonna be a bitch on my bills...still love my little buddy though.

  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Yo, so I was going duck hunting and I shot this weird-ass sprig. Does anyone know how to prepare it?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You'll need a Cooking Mama game (original cartridge or Emulation, it doesn’t matter)

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Absol is an underrated pet.
    Cute AF, Small, isn't that much of an hassle to raise + the strings it can make can be useful for sewing the holes in your clothes.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Absolve
      >small
      >makes strings
      I think this is a typo, but the result is concerning.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      That's a Jigglypuff.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      That's a ditto retard

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >be me
    >finally get gf
    >they reveal themselves to be a zorua and they run off laughing
    EVERY. FUCKING. TIME.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >be me
      >finally get gf
      >they reveal themselves to be a zoroark (male)
      uhh jackpot

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Wow, Galar's champion really let herself go...

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Anyone know where to find more Gimmighoul Coins? Asking for a friend. Completely of my own volition.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I think you have to order them from paldea, they are quite expensive tough, they are considered collector’s items in the region

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Does anyone know how to keep Gloom out of a house's crawl space? I swear, if ONE more somehow gets down in there, I am gonna go insane. Why does a Pokémon that makes such a bad smell have to love my fucking crawl space?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Get a flying type or a psychic type.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Repels

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >wake up this morning
    >look outside window
    >see wild absol standing in front yard
    It's over for me bros, whatever's going to happen I don't have the money to move, so i've just got to stay here and hope for the best

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      maybe this anon

      Absol is an underrated pet.
      Cute AF, Small, isn't that much of an hassle to raise + the strings it can make can be useful for sewing the holes in your clothes.

      can help. don't give up just yet friend

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Absol appearances predicting disasters come in two ways
      One way is an actual disaster
      The other way is it’s faking it and just wants food
      They’re dark types, they’re known to try trickery like that and then plunder your house after you evacuate
      If it keeps appearing offer it some food. If it eats it it’s no big deal and you have gained a wild buddy (like a Murkrow but less extortionate), but if it doesn’t it is legitimately telling you to prepare for the worst

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Found this weird robot in some ruins, I think it’s some kind of ancient Pokémon, doesn’t matter he is my friend now, here’s the problem, his joints… don't feel too hot, he has been having some problems in his left arm, the shit show that is my local pokemon center told me to apply oil in there but it seems like it’s not helping out, it feels like there is something stuck in there that is difficulting his movement on his arm, what do?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      OOM OOM OOM

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Have you tried turning it off and on again?

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Rotom saw my internet history and won't come out of his ball anymore, what do?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It’s time for you to have the talk with him, beat of luck

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Start looking up Rotom onahole porn so he doesn't feel left out.

  10. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    My gardevoir assaulted the mailman and now he's pressing charges what do I do?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Let Gardevoir mind rape him into retardation.

  11. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I'm fucking tired of the kemono dancers rejecting me. I cant stand it any more. I've caught an octillerry and taught it Bullet Seed. Don't come to the Ecruteak Dance Theatre tomorrow.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Anons, I need help. I hit it off with this gorgeous woman named Cheryl at the Battle Frontier, she ended up asking me out and I obviously said yes. But later I found out she's this super strong trainer and now I'm nervous because she probably thinks I'm one too, but I'm just there to spectate. Maybe learn some thing by observing the some of the best trainers in the world, y'know? What do I do? I'm panicking!

      >kemono
      Maybe you could have tried learning how to spell Kimono first. Also, they have a Jolteon.

      >train up a cyclizar and a revavroom
      >for some reason this makes my neighbor assume I'm part of a criminal biker gang and calls the cops on me
      >now I'm constantly being harassed by the feds
      FML

      Your neighbor sounds like a cunt. You can report her for pokemon profiling, so try that.

      Advice pls

      My friend just stared into the back of a Shedinja to see if anything is inside and suddenly fainted and dropped the Shedinja breaking it.

      Is the Shedinja going to be okay?

      Your friend and Shedinja are both dead.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Just look at battle tutorials on Poketube, also be carefull anon make sure that the girl isn't a bait, you don't want to be wishcashed by a team rocket member and have your kidneys stolen right?
        On the other hand, how can I make my chatot to stop deadnaming my brother? He transitioned 6 months ago and my pal keeps calling him by his male name, I find it hilarious, but my mother isn't happy with this.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Thank you, anon. I don't have to worry about Rocket, they haven't been able to get a foothold in Sinnoh yet. Galactic spooked the League pretty bad.
          As for your brother problem, the best advice I can offer is to try entering some tournaments to try and save some money to move out. Sorry if it's not ideal or you can't do that.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        You would think I could report her, but because my cousin joined up with Team Plasma after they started doing charity work my family is apparently considered "high risk" so the League just ignored my reports. For your deal, considering you live in Sinnoh, I would try to catch a Gligar if you can reasonably raise one, Gliscor's one of the most popular pokemon in the competitive scene. I'd reccomend Garchomp and Weavile too, but for somebody who isn't an experienced trainer they're both terrible suggestions. Also, Starly. Staraptor is incredible and if you can raise one from a Starly it'll be far, FAR more likely to obey you.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >my cousin joined up with Team Plasma after they started doing charity work
          Wait, the remnants of the original Plasmas based in Driftveil? They were vetted by the League itself, you shouldn't be having any problems based on that. Try escalating the issue.
          As for your advice, I do have a Gligar, Staravia and Sneasel in rotation already, so I'm good there, but I'm not nearly good enough to train a Gible, so that's out for now, but I plan on catching one eventually. I've only been a trainer for about a year and a half now, so I came the the BF because it's one of the best places to observe top tier trainers.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Maybe you could have tried learning how to spell Kimono first. Also, they have a Jolteon.
        Thats why I have a few Voltorbs. I'll show those fucking staceys

        • 2 weeks ago
          Jenny

          When and where anon

  12. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I'm working on an off grid solar setup, I'm raising my larvesta to use sunny day so keep the panels charged, but but the damn batteries keep attracting voltics and magnemite. They can't get into the shed where I keep everything but they keep buzzing around and it messes with my SilphSat internet connection, I've missed the last three iono steams because of them. Does anyone have any advice?? I've heard that Galarian meowth and maschiffs can be good guard mons but are they any good with electrics? I'm not trying to use traps or anything.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >steel/electric
      >electric/bug
      Use a Growlithe. Make sure it's not one of those weird rock type ones that have been coming out of Paldea recently, Raging Fury will fuck your setup worse than a few electrical parasites. Also get a Torkoal for free sun too.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You goddamn solar panel chuds need to fucking stop it. The Earth can only handle so many uses of the move Sunny Day before global temperatures reach a tipping point we can't come back from. Not to mention the steel shortages for wild pokemon you sickos inherently bring with you. Tides will rise, pokemon will go extinct, and extreme weather effects will happen more often if we don't go green and reduce everyone's solar footprint. Cut all solar emissions today!

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Go to bed Archie.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You could afford a good fucking guard pokemon if you werent simping online for her so much. How many pokedollars did you send her last year you freak? Plus we all know shes hit the wall. The nuxes that leaked last year werent even good.

  13. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >train up a cyclizar and a revavroom
    >for some reason this makes my neighbor assume I'm part of a criminal biker gang and calls the cops on me
    >now I'm constantly being harassed by the feds
    FML

  14. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Advice pls

    My friend just stared into the back of a Shedinja to see if anything is inside and suddenly fainted and dropped the Shedinja breaking it.

    Is the Shedinja going to be okay?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      If the shedinja didn't have the reflexes to immediately levitate it sounds like it died.

  15. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Guys I fucked the neighbors Glaceon please help

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Suggestion: Don't do that!

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Let me guess. You got frozen inside there the moment you finished. You deserve everything that’s coming to you for not thinking of that.

  16. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    GUYS HELP MY RIVAL CAUGHT A DARKRAI AND HES OUTSIDE MY HOUSE WHAT DO I HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Have sex dreams and rape Darkrai.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      QUICK, go look for a cresselia, they appear to be extremely rare but when there is trouble with a Darkrai on of these Pokémon will probably show up

  17. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    okay, so my gf traded me a salandit she caught in alola a few months back and it's recently evolved into a salazzle. things have gotten weird. how can i get it to listen to me?

  18. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    whatever you do, do not install porygon on your pc. it's silph co. spyware that tracks you and sells your information to team rocket

  19. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    holy shit i am never going outside again
    so i was just walking home from the convenience store (it's close to where i live) & it was pretty dark out cus winter. then all of a sudden i feel like i'm being followed. i looked around and saw nobody but i just had that feeling someone was nearby, then after walking under a streetlamp i saw my shadow and realized it wasn't me. i pretended not to notice as to not alert whatever ghost it was but then it showed it's eyes anyways. THANK FUCKING GOD i was so close to my home cause otherwise the gengar would've killed me otherwise. i fucking SLAMMED my door shut and immediately grabbed a bottle of repel and sprayed it all over

  20. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    word of advice: Dappled Grove is not a good place to get your dick sucked. I went home with way to many Joltik clinging to me. Galar fucking sucks.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Get checked for the 'rus anon, joltik carry all sorts of nasty shot you don't want spreading to your mons

  21. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    My mareep is starting to lose a lot of wool. Should I be worried

  22. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    bros my Lombre found a water stone and now he won't stop FUCKING dancing
    what do I do?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      dance

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      enjoy the free entertainment

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Miror B would like to know your location

  23. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I became champion but nothing changed? I beat the best trainer in my entire region but people still call her the champion and I never got a job offer from the league.
    I don't understand bros.. I skipped out on university to follow my dream of becoming champion but it was a mistake!
    Only one kid even knows me at the local trainer fan club. My life is a lie.

  24. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Can humans breed with Field egg group pokemon? Asking for a friend.

  25. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The little shit neighbor caught the legendary Kyogre. It rains every day now I hate him. I'm going to catch every electric type I can and teach them all thunder do I can fry the hipster wailord.

  26. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Apparently I had a threesome last night with my Lurantis and Roserade while I was wasted

    What do I do now

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I doubt that otherwise your dick would be pricked by poisonous thorns

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >dick would be pricked by poisonous thorns
        That's only if it was non-consensual from female side. It wasn't.

  27. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >doing homework
    >hear screaming
    >look outside
    >little bro getting dragged away by a Drifloon again
    >sigh
    >get out shotgun and blast it from my bedroom window
    I've already called Pokemon Control 3 times about these pedo gays terrorizing the neighborhood. Enough is enough.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >shotgun
      >bullet spread in little bro's direction
      RIP

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        could be a slug

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Actually Drifloon is a Balloon pokemon. Sligoo is the slug Pokemon. Also, what's a slug, anyway?

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            A solid bullet for a shotgun. Used for deer hunting

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            A solid bullet for a shotgun. Used for deer hunting

  28. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Guys I recently evolved my Floragato to Meowscarada and for some reason they've been trying to come on to me ever since. What do?

  29. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >work a 12 hour shift every day at the local gym
    >Grovyle wakes me up at 4:30am after about 3 hours sleep to get let out so he can play
    I love the little guy but seriously it happens every morning, I swear he wasn't this difficult before he evolved.

  30. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    My pokemon partner is diagnosed with a pokerus, am I in trouble?! How would it affect humans?.. Hopefully it's transferred only via blood transfusions and not... via other ways.

  31. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I am a dark specialist because there are a bunch of psychic mons around were I live and now my friend setting up a Psychic gym here and he is asking me if I could lend him my Malamar for a while because the Inkay he got is still too inexperienced
    I am a bit worried because my Malamar has spent a fair bit with other Dark types and he could end up being mean to my friends psychic types, am I worried because of nothing?

  32. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Every fucking day. Every single fucking day. This little Stantler just sits there and gives me this stupid fucking look on his face.

  33. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Your "little buddy" is an Arecusdamn abomination and should choke on his food

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