PRIVATE ANON, YOU INCOMPETENT MAGGOT!

I SPECIFICALLY TOLD YOU TO STAND NEXT TO THE EXPLOSIVE BARREL SO THE PROTAGONIST GETS HIS DOPAMINE FIX WHEN HE BLOWS YOU UP.

DON’T YOU DARE DISOBEY ME AGAIN. AND DON’T FORGET TO LEAVE A SPARE UNIFORM, FUNCTIONING RADIO, AND A CONFIDENTIAL MAP IN THE TENT BEHIND YOU. DIIIIISMISSED!

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  1. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    MAGGOT YOU WILL ONLY NOTICE THINGS IN A 30 FOOT RADIUS AROUND YOU AND IGNORE LOUD NOISES THAT COME FROM OUTSIDE THAT BARRIER

  2. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    B-BUT SIR, THE PLAYER IS A POLYGON GAME JOURNALIST. HE ISN'T HITTING ANYTHING, SIR.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      DID I STUTTER, PRIVATE SHIT FOR BRAINS? YOU WILL KEEP YOUR ASS POSTED NEXT TO THE BARREL AND YOU WILL STAY NEXT TO THE BARREL UNTIL THE PROTAGONIST FINALLY HITS IT.

  3. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    BUT SIR, WHY DO WE HAVE A SPARE UNIFORM FOR A WOMAN IN THE FIRST PLACE, SIR, WE'RE AN ENTIRELY MALE PLATOON?! AND NOBODY HAS GUNS THAT USE THIS AMMUNITION: WHY DO WE EVEN HAVE THIS, SIR?!

  4. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    YOU PRIVATES MAKE ME SICK TO MY STOMACH, KILL EACHOTHER THAT'S RIGHT I SAID KILL EACHOTHER, WE ARE NOT LEAVING UNTIL WE HAVE ONE TRAINING CASUALTY.

  5. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    YOU *WILL* WATCH THAT DOOR, YOU *WILL* KEEP YOUR BACK TOWARDS THAT WINDOW AND YOU WILL *NOT* TURN AROUND UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE.

  6. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    THIS IS GOLD TWO TO COMMAND. I'VE HEARD A STRANGE NOISE COMING FROM WHERE MY SQUAD MATE RECENTLY DISAPPEARED INVESTIGATING A STRANGE NOISE. I'M OFF TO CHECK IT OUT OVER.

  7. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I think I saw a box move guys. Should I investigate?

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Nah. The wind around here gets crazy. I once woke up and the wind ate all my leftover food.

  8. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    XIR YES XIR

  9. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    this is gold three to command. i've heard a strange noise coming from where my squadmate recently dissapeared. i'm off to check it out over

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      I CANT HEAR WHAT YOU WHISPERING

  10. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Hmmm, things seem pretty peacefu-ACK!! AAARGH, OUCH, OWWWW! Sonuvabitch, I got shot in the ass! Who the fu- THERE! RIGHT THERE! GET THA-

    Where did they go? Hmmm... you know what, maybe I'm just tired. Moving on...

  11. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    CORPORAL MAGGOT, THE KEYCODE TO THE VAULT IS 7352.
    KEEP THIS LETTER IN YOUR POCKET AT ALL TIMES

  12. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >tfw when your friends are dropping like flies but you have orders to ignore corpses

  13. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    ALRIGHT RECRUIT. HERE IS YOUR GUN AND MAGAZINES. REMEMBER, THE MAGAZINES CONTAIN INFINITE AMMO, SO ONLY RELOAD WHEN YOU'RE BORED OR SOMETHING. HOWEVER IF YOU DROP ONE, IT'LL ONLY CONTAIN 3-7 BULLETS.

  14. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Sir, i see footprints in the snow over.
    >WELL DONT JUST STAND THERE MAGGOT, INVESTIGATE THEM
    >Sir, i heard a banging sound from the other side of the metal cube thingies
    >WELL YOU SHOULD INVESTIGATE THE METAL CUBES THAT WE PURPOSEFULLY PUT IN THERE TO SHOWCASE THE FOOTPRINT MECHANICS THAT ARE NOT USED ANYWHERE ELSE LATER IN THE GAME EVER AGAIN
    >Sir, the footprints keep going around in a loop around the metal cube, maybe if i had backup i could catch the perpetrator obviously running around the-
    >SILENCE MAGGOT, YOU WILL HAVE NO SUCH THING. YOUR IQ IS OVER 180 YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO CATCH THE PERPETRATOR USING YOUR SUPERIOR BRAINPOWER!
    >Sir yes sir!

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >mgs1 goes out of its way to explain that the enemy soldiers are superhuman genome soldiers with enhanced eyesight, intelligence, combat skill etc.
      What was the fricking point when they're so obviously blind and moronic, just say they are russian mercenaries from gurlukovich or some shit

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        To be fair this was 1998 so for that time just having enemies who can get alerted by noise or follow your footprints must've been mindblowing

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          The footprints was a neat thing, though I think it's only possible a couple of times in the game. Nothing novel about enemies being able to hear you in 1998. Even in the Doom, which was released several years earlier and isn't even a stealth game, enemies can hear you.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        The genome soldiers are why they needed Big Boss' body and a big part of why the plot happened at all.

  15. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    GEE! I SURE LOVE WALKING BACK AND FORTH ALONG THIS PATH, ALWAYS STOPPING FOR AROUND 15 SECONDS BEFORE TURNING AROUND AND RESUMING MY REPETIVE PATROL!

  16. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    LISTEN HERE PRIVATE, YOU WILL ALWAYS MISS THE VERY FIRST SHOT AT THE ENEMY. IS THAT CLEAR? I DO NOT WANT ANYONE TO HARM THIS MAN WITHOUT A WARNING SHOT TO SHOW WE MEAN BUSINESS.

  17. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    SIR, WHY DO WE NEED TO EQUIP BRIGHT RED LASER DESIGNATORS TO OUR SNIPER RIFLES, SIR?

  18. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    ITS MA’AM!!!!

  19. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    SIR MY ASS IS HEAVY

  20. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >*clink*

  21. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    YOU WILL IMMEDIATELY TELL ME WHY CALLED ME FROM MY PRIVATE'S PRIVATE'S PRIVATE'S PRIVATE, PRIVATE!


    Protoss Unit, Sarge. Coming through the south pass. It looks broke.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Those cutscenes are too bad for me to even call them soulful. They look absolutely hideous and have horribly choreography to boot. The only good one is Mengsk's coronation.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Those cutscenes are too bad for me to even call them soulful. They look absolutely hideous and have horribly choreography to boot. The only good one is Mengsk's coronation.

      >horribly choreography
      changed my mind on how I was gonna phrase this halfway through writing, then didn't go back to correct it. FFS.

  22. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    SIR THE GUY I WAS STATIONED WITH JUST COMPLETELY DISAPPEARED FROM HIS POST BUT I DIN'T HEAR ANYTHING SHOULD I REPORT THAT SIR?

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      NO YOU WILL NOT PRIVATE moron, YOU WILL CONTINUE TO STAND NEXT TO THIS OPEN WINDOW. THAT IS AN ORDER.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Am I wrong in thinking in MGS2 they notice missing sentries? I have a vague memory of playing a stealth game were missing sentries are noticed, it causes an alert and afterwards the remaining sentries adjust their paths to cover the sector left open by the missing sentry. Was that MGS2 or something else?

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        I'm quite sure they don't do that. I can clearly remember picking off everyone in the engine room one by one in the tanker in MGS2. They would obviously have ample opportunity to notice their numbers gradually dwindling.

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          They do radio check on them if they don't report since they're missing so yes then they send investigating squad to check out the situation.

          Yeah, I'm starting to remember now they sent investigation squads. Maybe if they noticed a missing sentry a new one gets spawned in to replace them. I don't remember too well.

          I think the game that had guards that noticed other guards were missing and adjusted their paths accordingly might have been Hitman Absolution. Or maybe Splinter Cell. I know there was a stealth game I played at some point where I was surprised to see the guards alter their paths to account for missing other guards.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Maybe if they noticed a missing sentry
            It was if they discovered a dead body, they called in the hardcore former presidential guard guys. Maybe if they spotted you but later lost you as well.
            They sweep the room quite thoroughly, but it is possible to hide from them until they leave.

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            They did got replaced if you return later and you disposed of some before yeah.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        They do radio check on them if they don't report since they're missing so yes then they send investigating squad to check out the situation.

  23. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I WILL SNEAK UP TO THE PLAYER AND I WILL BE HAPPY
    I WILL INTERACT WITH THE OTHER npcs AND THE WORLD AND I WILL BE HAPPY

  24. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I DON'T CARE IF THE FIRST BULLET BLOWS YOUR HEAD OFF LIUTENANT, YOU ARE A BULLETSPONGE BOSS AND YOU WILL TAKE THE THREE MAGAZINES BEFORE YOU ARE ALLOWED TO DIE

  25. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    BUT THE BARREL WASN'T RED SIR! HOW COULD I HAVE KNOWN?

  26. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    PRIVATE DID YOU JUST SPOT THE INTRUDER FROM OVER A MILE WAY AND INSTANTLY END THEIR GAME? I DON'T CARE HOW YOU DO THINGS OVER IN EUROPEAN EXTREME, IN MY UNITED STATES OF EASYMERICA WE DO NOT REPORT ON INTRUDERS UNTIL THEY ARE WITHIN BREATHING RANGE AND EVEN THEN WE TAKE 5 SECONDS TO MAKE SURE THEY'RE INTRUDERS! IF YOU REPORT AHEAD OF TIME AGAIN YOUR ASS IS GRASS! AM I UNDERSTOOD?!!!

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >I DON'T CARE HOW YOU DO THINGS OVER IN EUROPEAN EXTREME, IN MY UNITED STATES OF EASYMERICA

  27. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    SOLDIER, DID I JUST CATCH YOU TRYING TO USE THE FRICKING RADIO? ONE THOUSAND FRICKING PUSHUPS.

    YOU WILL USE TELEPATHY AND ALERT THE ENTIRE FRICKING PLATOON THE MOMENT A SINGLE FRICKING LEAVE RUSTLES, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!?!?!

  28. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Sir! I saw a man walking in a cardboard box...
    Did I see a box?
    ....What am I doing here again?

  29. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

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