sell me this game. easy mode: Todd-like lies are allowed

sell me this game
easy mode: Todd-like lies are allowed

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It's All Fucked Shirt $22.14

  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Emil has been beheaded

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Sold.

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    See that mountain? You can paint it yellow.

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    See that mountain? You can do literally anything in this game.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Can you kill children?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        By the millions

        Can I rape the mountain?

        Yes, and get her (yep, you heard me right, "HER") pregnant

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Thank you, Todd! I WILL rape them mountains!

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Can I rape the mountain?

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    No lies so far

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    This game is yet another offerring in the grand list of titles by renowned Bethesda Softworks and features the truculent tale of the Scrollborn in the distant lands of the realm. Featuring beautifully rendered combat and a gradiose story told across the ages it's an experience that's bound to please fans of their various successes such as the Skyrim and Daggerfall sagas. Players will find themselves in houndreds of hours of never-ending adventure across epic lands and embark on quests of utmost value that deepen the world around them. Discover the secrets laid bare and perceive all you will conquer as the centerpiece of this tale which rapidly unveils to reveal betrayals and intrigue. Multiple factions lie their stakes to arms and rub shoulders in combat and it's up to you to take a stand in this world or die trying. Unite allies across the land or die trying.

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    In this game, you can travel not only throughout Hammerfell and High Rock, you can travel through all of Tamriel (procedurally generated).

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Todd has been adding more RPG elements to recent games.

    The recent games have also basically been beta tests for new game ideas.
    >fort/city building
    >player made cities
    >voiced protag
    >procedural conent
    They got a lot of complaints about these things, and they have addressing those complaints in their newer games. Also because starfield got shit on for being too boring and having an creative setting the next elder scrolls could have more interesting stuff similar to morrowind.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      oh yeah, inb4 some double digit autists tells me these ideas existed in other games, i meant new for bethesdas 3d games.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >The entire last two decades has been Todd Howard trying to flesh out unexplored game mechanics so that they'll be ready when the next elder scrolls releases
      >all that so that he could have the perfect game to spend with his "pretty kitty" khajit character from Morrowind
      would be quite the redemption arc

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        everyone kept saying fallout 4 building was the experiment for starfield
        when in reality, both games were an experiment for bethesda to finally be able to add full settlement building, with a dynamic economy, diplomacy, faction invasions, lifelike npc and quest generation

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      he's been taking away a lot more than he's been adding

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        since skyrim he has been adding more.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      literally none of what you listed are rpg elements, you're describing a sandbox

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        didnt say or imply the things i listed were rpg elements. I dodged that with the word "also" before i started listing new things they were adding.

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >sell me this game
    High Rock, Hammerfell, Orsinium and The Reach

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Orsinium
      It’ll probably be DLC along with the Ashlands, similar to Solstheim and Apocrypha. Malacath is the natural choice for a themed DLC since Hammerfell is named after one of his artifacts and he’s one of the few Daedric Princes whose realm we haven’t seen in-game yet, and Orsinium being wrapped up in that makes more sense than it being part of the base game.

      For that matter unless sailing is in the game in some form (either as a game mechanic or just a way of fast-traveling) Stros M’kai will probably be DLC too.

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Brought back Skill tags, birthstars, and op stats varying between races.
    >New engine literally any engine fricking x-ray engine the STALKER games use im just tired of seeing fallout 3 shit in (year of our lord) bethesda games.
    >I force feed todd mushrooms and DMT and shout in nothing but arabic while playing the aladdin OST and having MEMRI TV blasting on 4 screens surrounding him then get a courtroom stenographer to write down the new lore for hammerfell
    >Hire Nexus modders to add jiggle phsyics
    >fire nexus modders when all they add are sway physics for wieners,top scars and trans flags
    >hire ShiftUp to make the jiggle physics
    >put code in to break your pc and melt your cpu if you use nexus mods
    what do you say anon do i have your 61+tip?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >I force feed todd mushrooms and DMT and shout in nothing but arabic while playing the aladdin OST and having MEMRI TV blasting on 4 screens surrounding him then get a courtroom stenographer to write down the new lore for hammerfell

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      How much for the deluxe edition

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        70 bucks but you have to buy this version first and wait 5 years for the remastered version

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    They will finally ditch the old game engine

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    after shartfield, I have no hope

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You loved Skyrim, right anon? What if we made it again with better graphics? You would love that too, right?

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    There is no hope with Microsoft owning the IP.
    It will be Hammerfell and it will be Wakanda TES edition.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Perfect. If they make Hammerfell a space age civilization they can tie the lore of Elder Scrolls in with Starfield. Based Todd

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      U joking? It was MS who told them to get their shit together as soon as they saw the state shartfield was in when they took over, Todd was ready to start shipping the copies too. They have their money in it now, it's in their best interest that it has white gamer appeal, since that's the only relevant fantasy game consumer demographic

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >U joking? It was MS who told them to get their shit together
        No it was MS shitting on Zenimax, Zenimax wanted to release Starfield a whole year early

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Still, MS demands at least a decent level of quality, they didn't get to become the wealthiest company on earth just by bribing politicians and suing competitors you know

  14. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    We are collaborating with Hidetaka Miyazaki to do the combat. We know how much you all loved Elden Ring

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      look at conan exiles. It does the perfect blend of arpg combat and RPG stats for an open world game that pleases casuals while still being somewhat engaging.
      The biggest problem iwth that game is bosses have like 2 attacks each

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It’s an undercooked game but an interesting proof of concept

  15. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    SIXTEEN TIMES THE CHAT GPT INTEGRATIONS

    ALL WOMEN HAVE THAT SAME GENERIC STABLE DIFFUSION LOOK CAUSE FRICK YOU

  16. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    16x the detail!

  17. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Ayo hammaborn, we finna kill some imperial crackas.

    Redguards wrote the Elder Scrolls.

    3 skills: Warrior, Mage, Thief

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      All ya had to do was follow tha damn dragon, hammaborn

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      If we’re lucky, the fat woman and other writers at Beth think high elves equal white men and make them the villains as it should be

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >high elves equal white men
        But aren't they? They're basically the in-game equivalent of anglos, they even have the accent

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Anglos? Yeah, definitely. Anglos in history are eqiuvalent to the other weasely races

  18. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    We rehired Jeremy Soule, removed settlement crafting, removed procedural generation, and have morrowind-tier lore. (These are all lies. Buy our game anyway.)

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >and have morrowind-tier lore
      So basically nothing

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        What's nice about brainlets is they always let you know

  19. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It'll be Skyrim but with a new name and less RPG.

  20. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's not going to be even worse than Starfield. As every solution to every problem was not a hot fix that has been baked into the pie and built upon. The sheer weight of all of the last 20 years of bad decisions instead of total engine overhauls will not utterly suffocate every aspect of quality that this series once had with whatever remained filtered by homosexual committee. No. It will be good.

  21. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Expect the most soulless, streamlined entry in the series to date. Something that makes Starfield look like a complex immersive sim.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Something that makes Starfield look like a complex immersive sim.
      But it is

  22. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >big tiddy mods
    >e-girl mods
    >sex mods
    >coomer mods
    >upskirt mods
    >interracial mods
    >gangbang mods
    >futa mods
    >monster-girl mods
    >waifu mods
    >anime catgirl mods
    and
    >firearms mods

  23. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    it has 16 times 16 times the detail!

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      it has 16 unique details!

  24. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Fake video. I never said any of this. I mean Todd never said any of this. DELETE THIS NOW

  25. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    As long as they don't rape the lore into the ground in a way that you can't get away from, it literally cannot be anywhere near as bad as Starfield. Shartfield's main issue was that it was taking place in a universe with nothing interesting happening. TES has interesting things happening, they only have to properly utilize the setting of better writers to give you interesting things to do in the world of TES.
    At worst it'll be worse than Skyrim but better than Fallout 4.

  26. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It won't be even worse than you're allready expecting, and it will still be as moddable as Skyrim was.

    Trust Me 🙂

  27. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's a real fricking shame that it won't even be as milquetoast as Skyrim, it's going to be significantly worse.

  28. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's going to be so TOLERANT and INCLUSIVE, it'll make StarSlop look like a fevered kkk rally.

  29. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It'll be 16 times the size the Skyrim with mountains that you can go to!

  30. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    why do games take so long these days?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Scale, women, diversity hires, in that order

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      They all need to be as big as a small african nation while using the GDP of one to develop and then requiring twice that GDP to break even.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Because normies demand games to be pretty

  31. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You can hire a crew and sail your boat between the isles in fps Elder Scrolls style, ocean encounters like whirlpools, sea monster battles, raging storms, desert islands and treasure maps are all dynamic and integrate with Radiant Quests 2.0 for a true next generation experience

    Also Jeremy Soule is doing all the music again

  32. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I cannot attempt to sell you something which does not exist. Well, I could, but that would be dishonest.
    It';s vaporware at this point, and it might stay that way for many decades. Perhaps it should. We are not making the best of games currently.

  33. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    When will we stop getting games with boring as frick desolate landscapes? People always steal from Tolkien's works but they never make a rich world to put all that shit in

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