Speed running is such a fricking meme. Just a bunch of glitches and exploits.

>SO BASICALLY I'M REALLY GOOD AT RUSHING TO A GLITCH THAT LETS ME BYPASS 99% OF THE GAME LULZ

speedrunning is a meme

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  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >t. coping with having shit times

  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Watch Glitchless

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      v is too moronic to realize there are other categories of speed runs

  3. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    speedrunning is the ultimate in liberalism and communist ideals

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      You can't be a libshit and a commie at the same time moron. One values freedom and the other collectivism.

  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    the EH interview completely exposed what a soda brain cosmo has become
    dumb frick thought andrew yang was going to win https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6E2pQF5dP48

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Quit shilling your shit, Emptyhero, you're as bad as Manlet Tears

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      A preacher will always be worse than any troony, as long as I don't have to hear about that specific troony.

  5. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Yeah speedrunning is lame

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Let's see you rush to that glitch

  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    why are you watching glitched run-throughs if you don't like glitches?

  8. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    you literally beat Oot any% by looking at a rock from a specific angle

    it's the gayest shit

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      then don't run any%. there's a reason speedrunners treat it like a joke category.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >there's a reason speedrunners treat it like a joke category.
        Any% regardless of the game is practically the only run people really care about because the entire point of speedrunning is finishing the game as fast as possible

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >Any% regardless of the game is practically the only run people really care about
          This isn't the case at all, obviously.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >regardless of the game
          Completely false. There’s plenty of games that consider any% a joke category because it’s so glitchy or skips so much actual gameplay it’s no longer about being good at the game, and oot is one of them. Watching someone spend most of the time oob and setting up glitches - not interacting with the game in any way - isn’t interesting.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >credits warp
          >hurr durr it's completing it

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          2009 called, it misses your ass for some reason.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          no its not you fricking dumbass
          the most popular category varies from game to game depending on how fricked they are
          no one cares about any% oot nowadays because its beaten without ever leaving kokiri forest

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >Use glitches to fill your inventory with everything in the game, practically no different then just activating a 'have everything' gameshark code
      >Everything is still in the world in an uncollected state
      >"Dude I just 100%'d the game so quickly"

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        OoT does, in fact, have a healthy "source only" 100% category. Even when they were showing off the Deku Tree Chest that they glitch into having all the items at a GDQ, they didn't even do it to its actual limit because its a known fact that its completely boring and nobody wants to see it.

  9. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I've never experienced gender dysphoria or had any interest in speedrunning.
    Coincidence?

  10. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    MOST
    DEGENERATE
    ACT
    MAN
    HAS
    COME
    UP
    WITH

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      if speedrunning is so bad then why's he still kissing GDQ's ass?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        goose has no integrity, and never has.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        admitting that you're a pathetic degenerate doesn't mean you stop being one

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          this

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous
      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Based canadian, does goose still stream? havent heard or seen his stream in my recommendeds in forever

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      imagine all the hours poured into speedrunning were poured into self improving or the betterment of society, nothing would happen because you're fricking losers lol keep playing your 20 year old nintendie games

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        It's all up to you, based self-help anon. Go out and make this a better world for all of us.

  11. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    He also rushed to become a woman. Such is the way of the speedrunner.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      100% is cuter than 110%

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        newbies need to go back

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          anyone who started posting after 2008 are technically newbies. I don't even believe any true oldgays exist anymore, they all died from cancer-aids, that is beside the eldestgay Gaydor

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Oldgay here; started posting in 2007 when I was 13.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            I've been here since Ganker started, I'm 35, I never post and my wife makes fun of me for lurking everyday. You can never leave.

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              Don't lie Gaydor. Everyone knows you don't have a wife.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            I started browsing Ganker around Code Geass times in 2006-07 but now that I think about it I don't think I started posting until years after that.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          True, but let's agree not to have the barrier to entry be fricking trap history.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            dont be a moron hes calling you out on being a newbie. Black person

  12. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I love watching speedruns and enjoy the almost autistic focus on shaving seconds here and there, but switching to moonrunes has always felt like taking it way too far. You’re no long even ostensibly playing the game you loved because you’re happy seeing unreadable gibberish instead of text just to get a faster time. The fact that you skip the dialogue anyway somehow makes it even worse.
    Epitome of soulless gameplay.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Punch out speed runs are the exception

  13. 2 years ago
    Anonymous
    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      The frick?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      why is the quality 2006 youtube tier

  14. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I totally agree. I mean today's "speed-runners" aren't even speed-runners at all, they're actually cheat-runners that just exploit glitches and shit.

    Now a REAL speed-runner is a player who plays through the game from start to finish as fast as they can while obeying the rules of the game set by the developers.

    If you do something out of order that was not intended or bypass a section you were supposed to go, congrats, you're not a REAL speed-runner, you're a pathetic cheat-runner who can't play for shit.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      See I both agree and disagree with you.
      Some stuff like using crouch stab in OoT to deal high damage to kill enemies quicker or killing the marines in CE to skip dialogue triggers are clever ways to ensure your time is fast is fine.
      Breaking out of bounds to skip over large portions of a level is pretty gay and make boring content.

  15. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Just watch Mario 64 120 star

  16. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    This is why super mario 64 is the best speedrunning game of all time

    All runners are chads
    No trannies
    No weird glitch that let you skip 99% of the game
    No rng bullshit

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Super Metroid is more Chad than Super Troonio 64

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        this, super metroid is the best speedrun game, its empirical fact

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          https://www.twitch.tv/oatsngoats

          The top SM runner is hitting Dread hard, shit's good.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Cheese might be the gayest man alive, though.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I'm also pretty sure Simple Flips also like to get pegged by Scot the Woz

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        What’s Tom Holland doing with Ron Jeremy?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        one of the two has officially no staying power on Ganker as of recent licensing events, so
        Wrong board

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Ganker is a shit board and all b.o. have been mentally ill ogres.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Your average Ganker and Zoomer posters, everyone.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >No weird glitch that let you skip 99% of the game
      You can finish sm64 with 0, 1 or 16 stars. There's categories for all these.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        true, but those are joke categories, only 16 is somewhat recognized and even that is pushing it. Most people who watch or run the game only care about 70 and 120.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Sure, 120 is by far the best. The others do exist though. 64 is fun to watch because it's fast paced and super skill based with minimal glitches, not because it doesn't have glitches that bypass the entire game like the post I replied to said.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Wrong. SM64 is filled with homosexuals, only Souls runners are chads.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Metroid Dread is pretty based so far. Just cool guys playing the game well. No game destroying glitches, just pseudo wavebeam and sequence breaks.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Also Clint Stevens

  17. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    What's with the sideburns

  18. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Watch no glitch speedruns, it's a sub category

  19. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I think speedrunning is garbage, but many do not. Try making threads about things you actually like, you depressed, dishonest, low-effort homosexual.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      The issue with speedrunning is that it's just an autism clique with zero interest in common sense changes for mass appeal. Absolutely nobody could watch OoT any% and be impressed after they've seen it once. MST is what any% should be. And then there's SRM which should've immediately been shit out of OoT runs. But the autists ruling over this shit don't care; they are autistic.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Should everything have "mass appeal"? Say that about books, films, or games themselves, and hear how silly you sound. We all know constant striving for mass appeal destroys the soul of everything. It's just not for you. It's just not for me. Just let these weird, moist gentlemen have their niche.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          By "mass" I just mean "greater". Nobody outside their autism clique cares about speedrunning because of their dumb shit.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            I can't fathom caring about speedrunning, period, unless you already belong to a highly specific sub-species of autist. That's why your arguments for wider appeal utterly baffle me.

  20. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Is this why he was so upset at speedrunning categories being "arbitrary"? Cause he's only good at a meme run?

  21. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Some of these gay youtube channels once said that Cosmo's gamplay was the most important and notable moment of Speedrun and I was curious. When I watched it, it was a gay breaking the game in moronic ways in to get attention.

  22. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I don't mind a few glitches, but when you're watching a speedrun event and 95% of the run is just you going out of bounds then it's fricking boring, who enjoys watching this? At least when it happened with OoT is because it was probably the first of its kind so it was interesting

  23. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Regular speedruns (Mario 64, Zelda, Sonic, Metroid etc) are fine.
    The joke is thing like Genshin Abyss speedrun : Literally pay your way to victory lmao. Gacha speedrun lmao

  24. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >look for a speedrun of a game i like
    >all speedruns are just 1 minute glitch runs
    >nobody runs glitchless
    😐
    nothing entertaining about it

  25. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    What a strapping young chap. I'm sure he will grow up to be a well adjusted man.

  26. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >SO BASICALLY I'M REALLY GOOD AT RUSHING TO A GLITCH THAT LETS ME BYPASS 99% OF THE GAME LULZ
    uhhh play metroid lol

  27. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    your game *does* include ways for skilled players to near instantly kill most bosses, right?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >Dread speed run strats are basically shinespark + screw attack every fight
      This is going to make Dread really boring to watch at GDQ isn't it

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Maybe uh.. don't watch it?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Once again super shows its fantastic design, they don't let screw or sparks hurt bosses, with the exception of sparks hurting draygon at half of normal damage.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >a one week run isn't optimized
        we've got the world's smartest Black person in here

  28. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Bump

  29. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Is there a reason we're getting Cosmo threads out of nowhere?

  30. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Why would anyone want to speed run or watch someone speed run? It seems so autistic.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I don't like glitch based speedruns but it's cool to see players master a game's mechanics to their fullest

  31. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    if he can do it and you can't that means he's better than you at the game
    everything else is cope

  32. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    How does Ganker manage to be more autistic about speed running than the speed runners themselves?

  33. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    you still have to master the game in a specific way, so,

  34. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    It's almost as though people who speedrun with glitches have played the game vanilla countless fricking times already

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      No shit. It's time to move on.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Are you joking? How many speedrunners have made the claim that they don't know the story or they don't know how this part is supposed to go because they've never played it straight? Speedrunners tend to pick up games they've seen someone else speedrun because they think the glitch strats look interesting, not because they've played the game to death.

  35. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    siglemic and cosmo era best era

    I want to go back so bad, I thought it would never end

  36. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >any%
    found your problem

  37. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    You will never be a real Yehudi. You have no patrilineal Judaism, you have no descent from Moses, you have no Matzo balls. You are a degenerate "speedrunner" twisted by Discord and estrogen into a crude mockery of G-d's perfection.

    All the “donations” you get are two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your dilators people mock you. Your single mother is disgusted and ashamed of you, your “followers” laugh at your any% glitched streams behind closed doors.

    Men of faith are utterly repulsed by you. Six thousand years of intelligent design have allowed gamers to sniff out edited runs with incredible efficiency. Even runners who "place" look like goyim to a israelite. Your lack of a hand cam is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk gentile to watch your idolatry, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your chair.

    You will never do a mitzvah. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under Joan Donovan's unbearable weight.

    Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your sacrificial chicken, and make a peaceful offering for Azazel at the Seder. Your Tavistock case manager will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment of knowing a video game speedrunner. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with a Blue Checkmark, and every Rabbi putting a rock on your grave for the rest of eternity will know a member of the LGBTQP+ community is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably big-boned.

    This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.

    Here's a peruta to give to charity!

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