So, you know what I don’t get about Metroid Dread (and this applies to a lot of Metroidvanias)?

So, you know what I don’t get about Metroid Dread (and this applies to a lot of Metroidvanias)?

So Dread takes place on a planet where there is a lab that has been built. The game doesn’t take place entirely inside this infrastructure, you do travel through natural environments.
But as far as the manufactured shit, why is it never easily traversable? For instance, pic related, a charge beam door. Who the FUCK do you EVER encounter that has a charge beam to open a fucking door? I can understand that yes there are some scary monsters outside that you don’t want to get in, but what about for the people who work there? They don’t have the charge beam. In fact, it’s the fucking monsters that have the abilities that are similar in effect to the charge beam. And MISSILE locked doors? Who the FUCK is shooting a fucking missile inside and not blowing up everything? That shit doesn’t make sense.
But, at least its a door. At least there is some thought put into people going in and out of the room/area. There are some other shits in these games that you just shoot with your missiles and gun, missile blocks and such. A missile block is just some ordinary piece of the environment, not necessarily even obvious to a person, not necessarily a suspicious part of a wall that you would think, he, that’s a missile block, just a normal part of the infrastructure or even in a natural environment. So you shoot the missile block, sometimes randomly or by accident because they’re not always apparent, and then it opens up a pathway to the next area. How the FUCK is that sensible? How is it functional for workers on this planet in this lab to not know where they can safely fire a fucking missile to go to the bathroom or not get eaten by a carnivorous fucking something or other? Why is this still being used in the modern era?

21 thoughts on “So, you know what I don’t get about Metroid Dread (and this applies to a lot of Metroidvanias)?”

  1. I always assumed Metroid doors were on security lockdown and you were blasting the shielding away with your weapons to force yourself in. Under normal operation they’d just be normal automatic doors for the workers.

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  2. Obviously ths supposed "workers" would have ID cards that open all the doors and proceed via other ways that samus is not aware of or that are too in the open for samus to use when there are monsters about.
    Games are not supposed to be 1:1 to reality thats western mentality cancer that turns everything to shit

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  3. How about those doors work with keys but instead you blow them up with missiles. How about those doors work with energy keys but instead you shoot them with your chozo magic energy bimbo and run very very fast

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    • This should be the default response to every single retarded thread complaining about dumb shit like this and asking questions like โ€œwhat do they eatโ€

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  4. And you know what, I’m not even mad that Metroid can’t crawl. There are some spaces that you are just too large to fit into and the morph ball conveniently takes care of that by compacting your frame into a smaller volume. But why the fuck is that the only way to get around in some of these places? Metroid shouldn’t have to crawl or use a morph ball inside a lab. Outside, in a natural environment, sure, fair game, there might be some little crevasse you need to fit into for some missiles that somebody conveniently left you because you need to blow up a door or something, but I shouldn’t have to crawl or slide inside a lab to travel as part of it’s design. It’s fucking stupid.
    Go ahead, tell me I have autism, you know I’m right.

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  5. >So, you know what I don’t get about Metroid Dread (and this applies to a lot of Metroidvanias)?
    >
    >So Dread takes place on a planet where there is a lab that has been built. The game doesn’t take place entirely inside this infrastructure, you do travel through natural environments.
    >But as far as the manufactured shit, why is it never easily traversable? For instance, pic related, a charge beam door. Who the FUCK do you EVER encounter that has a charge beam to open a fucking door? I can understand that yes there are some scary monsters outside that you don’t want to get in, but what about for the people who work there? They don’t have the charge beam. In fact, it’s the fucking monsters that have the abilities that are similar in effect to the charge beam. And MISSILE locked doors? Who the FUCK is shooting a fucking missile inside and not blowing up everything? That shit doesn’t make sense.
    >But, at least its a door. At least there is some thought put into people going in and out of the room/area. There are some other shits in these games that you just shoot with your missiles and gun, missile blocks and such. A missile block is just some ordinary piece of the environment, not necessarily even obvious to a person, not necessarily a suspicious part of a wall that you would think, he, that’s a missile block, just a normal part of the infrastructure or even in a natural environment. So you shoot the missile block, sometimes randomly or by accident because they’re not always apparent, and then it opens up a pathway to the next area. How the FUCK is that sensible? How is it functional for workers on this planet in this lab to not know where they can safely fire a fucking missile to go to the bathroom or not get eaten by a carnivorous fucking something or other? Why is this still being used in the modern era?
    it’s fun

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    • Don’t get me wrong, it’s a fun game. It just doesn’t reflect the realism they are trying to show.

      Don’t even get me started on how immersionbreaking it is for an organic creature to drop a data cube that she can absorb into her suit (or that missiles and energy show up in the cutscenes between boss fight segments). If you want to give Metroid the power to assimilate DNA into her suit to gain these powers, that’s fucking cool. Just don’t have a monster drop what looks like fucking data.

      tl;dr it’s a video game get over it

      This is a problem not with video games, but the designer’s choices and how they create an environment.

      Autistic OP lacks imagination and abstraction

      It isn’t an abstraction when they go for a "realistic" design. It’s stupid. Mario works because it’s not trying to be real.

      >"workers" would have ID cards
      So why does the barrier regenerate after 5 seconds? You fucking destroyed it with a missile. Why does it come back for you to shoot it with a missile again? Why do you need different types of lazers to open different doors if they aren’t coded to a certain energy (and a ton of it) and why do you have to continuously shoot them instead of just the first time?

      Samus never once needs a shit eitherm how the fuck am I meant to believe she didn’t have a single dump during her mission?

      I don’t even care, let her suit take care of it, scientifically.

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        • I’m right and you know it. The first few Metroids I can let it slide because obviously it’s an abstraction of what is happening, but sticking to archaic shit like that for Dread is retarded.

          Like, in Castlevania, you destroy torches and shit to get item upgrades. Ok, rather video gamey, but why the fuck does Bloodstained do the same exact shit? Why imitate THAT? The whole Metroidvania genre is retarded in those aspects of sticking to the shit from the past.

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