NEW SPLATFEST
Ganker BROS GET THE FUCK IN HERE
Splatoon 3
This phonograph "reads" a rock’s rough surface and transforms it into beautiful ambient music pic.twitter.com/PYDzYsWWf8
— Surreal Videos (@SurrealVideos) March 3, 2023
Community-driven video game blog & discussion
WHO ELSE /BIGCHAD/
Right here
lel
I WARNED YOU ABOUT THE HILLS BRO!!!!
I TOLD YOU DOG!
Why is he so violent?
It's a doggy dog world
Reminder that the popular team has a huge advantage
Aliens will win
Huge advantage until tririgged mode
>popular team has a huge advantage
That's been downplayed since Hispanicy vs Sweet vs Sour where they revised the scoring system, anybody could've literally mathematically won that regardless of what team had the most votes.
You don't get a giant point bonus anymore and victories are won more at the margins. The splatfests will be won by whoever shows up and actually fucking plays the game.
>
The actual scoring is winner takes all but look at the actual percentages. Almost all of them are at the 33% mark, with dark chocolate having significantly less votes but actually have the second most conches.
Likewise tricolor was split almost evenly. Matches go any number of ways and that point breakdown could've gone very differently.
White won by a huge margin, moreso than previous splatfests where conchs, pro battles, open etc were much closer. White had 40% of the popularity compared to Milk Chocolate's 32%, which is already a decent sized margin, and dominated wins by a larger margin than ever before. Look at each specific splatfest's percentage points and scrutinize them if you don't believe me. Popularity has been winning consistently, even after the change.
they cant just softball in a racewar undertone and expect people to not dogpile it.
A lot of people picked white simply due to the Ink color.
>downplayed
Objectively speaking the most popular team has won every single fest.
This. Not only are aliens the only ones with a chance to exist, but Nessie and Bigfoot are Boomercore while Millenials and Zoomers love the idea of aliens.
It's going to be 15 - 40 - 25 split with Alien sweep because splatfests are rigged for popularity now.
I like Nessie. I'm reminded of that bit in Earthbound where he carries you over a body of water, that was copypasted wholesale in Undertale.
I can't believe it's real.
this can't be real... but there's no way they could fake something like this
Marcianito 100% real
Don't believe this anon. That's just a dancing cat photoshopped green.
I understand the confusion, but the cat dancing and this video are both real, they're both just doing the same dance
>Live footage of Frye after Team Aliens wins
WTF Ganker BROS
ANON YOU CANT POST THAT
>Implying any of them are real
Aliens at least has the most plausibility but this is just bad philosophy.
Fun fact: when I was a kid, I was obsessed with Nessie. I grew out of it and I don't believe any of them exist but I gotta go with my childhood waifu.
these past few splatfest choices have been really boring
You retards say this about every splatfest theme I swear.
Wtf even constitutes as a "good" splatfest in terms of choices??
Even the toilet paper one was fun with how retarded it was.
imo i think having three options ruins them.
It's obvious it's going to end on the 3 idol teams but man, the journey there isn't worth it
NTA but the Island one was the best of 3 by far.
The deserted island one was objectively one of the worst splatfest ideas we've ever had. Everyone just picked the objectively correct answer which was gear, that's not a good splatfest.
they should make a barefoot vs crocs vs sandals splatfest
agree, then dox everyone that picked Crocs and send them to the gulags
Dox everyone who chose barefoot and castrate them for being footfags.
This one is actually good though. Food fests are the boring ones.
Give us an idea of what a non-boring fest would be to you tranime sister.
at least its not a food one
There hasn't been a single good splatfest idea in 3 so far. Grass vs Fire vs Water was just okay, while the rest ranged from bad to terrible.
Not a problem, I just pick by color. Team Nessie here I come.
TIMPOPO-CHANG
K
A
W
A
I
I
>governments have already confirmed aliens exist
>everyone has just seemed to forgotten
Government confirmed there's things flying around they don't know about. YOU'RE the one who decided it was aliens. Which is what the government wanted you to do. So that you wouldn't pay attention to whatever they are doing.
>Israeli government talking about the Intergalatic Federation is just about flying objects in the sky
Also, yes, everyone with a brain knew they were covering shit up. Don't think I let that slide either. It was around the time of the quarantine and they were pulling some stupid shit as usual.
Hundreds of whistleblowers said they worked with alien bodies and crafts in the 90's too during a huge press conference regarding the secret services withholding of information.
illegal aliens
Nope. It was a press conference about extra terrestrial beings and UFO's that the US government had recovered.
Nothing to do with immigration, except maybe on a cosmic scale? But we don't have laws for that yet.
Aliens are just gene spliced humans. RNA viruses go far beyond what antivax tards can even imagine.
>YOU'RE the one who decided it was aliens
The crafts that are confirmed real are built for tiny men. They have child-sized seats in them and adult humans can't fit inside them.
These crafts you admit are real are factually non-human sized. So who's it built for?
>The crafts that are confirmed real are built for tiny men. They have child-sized seats in them
You answered your question.
I don't think the USA shot down 5 children over the Canadian border last month.
>he doesn't know
So where are the crafts? Why is not a single picture cropped up?
And whats to stop these tiny little vehicles from being remote controlled a la military drones?
manlets
If they were built to prove a false narrative if found then of course they'd use fake fucking seats inside
No official pics, vids, or samples for third parties to examine? No signs whatsoever of any government having gotten access to otherworldly technology? Yeah okay buddy.
Bigfoot is the only one with a chance of being real. A lot of psyoped normal fags will go with aliums tho.
What is it with Splatoon 3 Splatfests and having an objectively correct answer? It only happened once or twice in the previous two games, but this time it seems like every other fest.
The objectively correct answer this time around is none exist.
RISE UP, CLANSMEN.
Aliens and Bigfoot are absolutely real, but the same can't be said for Nessie. If there really was this sea serpent or surviving Plesiosaur hiding out in Loch Ness we'd know by now. While space is impossibly massive and the deep forests of America give Bigfoot plenty of hiding places, Loch Ness just doesn't have enough space for Nessie and any of her relatives to stay hidden in. That is, unless you believe in the theory that there are underwater caverns that stretch far into the earth for me to hide in, but that's a long shot.
We found fossils of freshwater plesiosaurs in rivers. I could believe one of them ended up in a lake.
>Loch Ness just doesn't have enough space
>He think Loch Ness is just a basic loch
What is a sea serpent but a really big eel? What is in Loch Ness aplenty? That's right: eels. Nessie is an eel, therefore she is absolutely real.
Thing is when you take into account all of the reports of a serpentine neck with a plesiosaur/horse/giraffe head rising up from the water that eliminates the "Nessie's an ell" theory since eels can't do that and also don't have heads in those shapes.
Space is fake and gay.
I'm on to you, plesiosaur.
>me to hide in
>Bone Wars, Bible, and Roman documents all point to only basic behemoths (ala Loch Ness) being the only true dinosaurs to exist
>Elon Musk and others worship fallen angels and machine elves as aliens
>no reason why Bigfoot can't exist given how Giants (found in China) and Neanderthals (Canaanite) are separate species, not an evolutionary step
>me to hide in
i am coming to get yo ass you fatass lizard
>for me to hide in
>for me to hide in
>for me to hide in
>me to hide in
>for me to hide in
>for me to hide in,
what did she mean by this???
>massive
>deep
Aliens exist tho, disclosure happened a few years ago with the tic-tac UFO.
those are demons
>aliens
these can't be real, if they were, they would be everywere
Why? That doesn't make sense.
Beacuse the materials used to create known life (aka chemestry, temperaturea, physics, etc) are pretty much while low, common. However we need protein folding to create it, wich is so complex we haven't created computers that can calculate how it works (the strongest supercomputers have been trying for decades and still do) and because how complex it is, the probabillity of happening is so small that we can't tell if it will ever happen again.
So if the materials were the main cause of aliens they would be common, but because this process is need, it pretty much won't happen again. That is why some people think that statistically they should be real (because common materials) while they pretty much won't and we have yet to discover how low that probabillity is.
are you retarded? there could be a whole solar system, full of planets with life communicating between each other, some gajillion lightyears away and we will never even be able to know
you failed to understand why this is not possible, retard
yeah? explain this picture then chud
You have my gun, madam.
you convinced me. I will join team Nessie.
I know aliens are demons, and demons are real. Should I vote for aliens?
as a Gankerphile here
>big foot is real,the patterson tapes prove it
>aliens have all but been confirmed,how can strange items in people and so many people be wrong. To believe we are alone in all the universe is a sad sad belief too
>ness is a hoax sadly, they sonared the lake twice and found nothing.
>>big foot is real,the patterson tapes prove it
Nah the tape was a hoax, what makes it special is that Roger Patterson wasn't in on it and it's pretty clear they pranked him like that because he had cancer and didn't want him to feel like he wasted his life on this bigfoot stuff
Summon ishtar in Splatoon
Holy fuck, they have only just announced the Splatfest theme and everyone already has knives at each others' throats over fuckin' cryptids. This is going to be a very messy one.
Ayys are statistically real.
Bigfoot is dumb, but not 100% so.
Nessie is just dumb
>Nessie is just dumb
don't talk about my waifu like that
you're waifu is just a worthless snake
>Ayys are statistically real.
They're not. Live developing on its own is statistically more unlikely, then the universe is big.
Clearly not since we are here
>a-a-anomaly...
Nah.
We were created, anon.
By what? Your next reply better be good.
>Your next reply better be god.
FTFY
I imagined it would be this, thanks for playing.
If we were created then it automatically means aliens are a thing. Decent answer though.
Ask yourself this
could an alien create the entire universe?
Only if there is something outside of the universe, another dimension if you will, cant create something you are already a part of.
Now thats just rude, i dont think i patronized anyone with my question.
and what, I suppose you simply flat out deny proven phophecies? Tell me, Without some spiritual experience or influence, how could the Prophet Madai have perfectly predicted Big Run?
Anon, the discussion is about ayys existing and the theoretical evidence for such. If you believe in a higher power more power to you but i had way too many conversations during my teenage and early adulthood on the matter to realize almost nothing ever comes out of it.
Its just that when the counterargument for why ayys arent a thing is "because god created life", there isnt much room to continue now is there? There is no empiricism in faith.
he's memeing, anon
>haha I asked a question with a predictable answer, and people gave me that answer. They fell right into my trap!
God is good
Gottem
NTA, not a christcuck, not a believer in much of anything
BUT
we still barely even have a theory on where life even came from. It’s not too far fetched to say we were created when we dont even understand what was there before the big bang, which is still just a theory. There’s a lot of question marks when it comes to both the origin of the universe and of life, and we have very little in the way of guarantees or settled answers. Nobody really knows at the end of the day.
There is a precedent for non-living material being transformed into living material. In fact, it happens every day.
Go on then. Explain further. What is this non living thing and where did it originate from? If you want to talk about a seed and a tree, if you say the seed is non-living, it is still the product of a carbon based life form is it not? So what is the origin of life? Of the first lifeforms. Where did they come from and how did they come to be? They cant be the product of another lifeform because life wouldnt exist, seeing as how they’re the first lifeforms. What is the origin of life, that is the question. You cant just make a living thing by scrambling together a bunch of chemicals. Only living things can create the seeds that will become living things later on.
Is salt, good old NaCl, a living material?
>we still barely even have a theory on where life even came from
the building blocks for amino acids were discovered on an asteroid from that one japanese probe mission
God, the Father almighty, maker of Heaven and Earth, of all things visible and invisible.
>heh, you still believe in sky daddy? touch grass
>OMG YOU BETTER BELIEVE MUH HECKING GOVERNMENT AGENTS, THEY'RE TELLING THE TRUTH I SWEAR!!!
>>heh, you still believe in sky daddy? touch grass
this but unironically
Oh my science. This. SO much this!
government agents are real
if it already happened once, and the variables can be reproduced, then statistically it can happen again
That doesnt mean that it has or that its guaranteed to ever happen again.
And just because life can form, intelligent life is no guarantee either, especially not the kind that become space faring creatures. Look at how intelligent humans are and we can barely get to the fucking moon, let alone another planet. There are a lot of problems with interplanetary travel that we just dont have the answer to. Creating wormholes seems to be one of the few things that would actually make that possible, but we dont even know if thats possible! We run the risk of destroying our civilization/world before we even get that far, a conundrum most intelligent species would have trouble overcoming if they were in a similar boat as ours.
It just seems difficult to us because humans are relatively individualistic, slowing our progress. A hive civilization working towards a singular scientific goal, for example, would get shit done.
Just because a hive works toward something doesnt necessarily mean that they’re going to make a scientific breakthrough that allows interplanetary travel.
Thats like saying if the hive works long enough, we can magically create a serum
that makes us grow 70 feet tall. It has to be within the realms of achievable reality. The greatest minds in humanity are scratching their heads trying to think of how we could warp through space without being destroyed by tiny fragments of space dust and radiation. On smaller journeys its more feasible. We also cant even begin to imagine the kind of engines that would require. Yes technology has grown quickly since the industrial revolution but in many ways weve hit a sort of brick wall. Even if all of society combined all their brain power into one there’s no guarantee we can ever solve it or if its even possible, thats a possibility you have to consider.
>That doesnt mean that it has or that its
life didn't spawn from magic. it happened because the correct chemical reactions under a specific environment created it. we can observe life has happened, and if the variables and components that made life can be reproduced, then the result should be similar every time.
Have we ever created life from every day chemicals? Outside of an innate biological process of course.
>Outside of an innate biological process of course.
Why do you exclude innate biological processes?
Because life comes from life.
We’re talking about the origin of life. I.e., life forming from a non-living thing, which would be allegedly just some sort of chemical reaction from random bits of space dust or what have you.
We have never once recreated life from ordinary periodic elements have we? No, we rely on biological processes to create life. So what created the original biological organism? Thats the question.
There is already a process by which non-living material becomes living material. That means it is inherently possible for non-living material to become living material.
Also note that there are a limited number of possible configurations for a set of a particles to arrange themselves in.
It's like saying "This specific ordering of a deck of cards has never been seen before, thus it is impossible for it to occur."
>There is already a process by which non-living material becomes living material. That means it is inherently possible for non-living material to become living material.
what process exactly are you talking about?
What is the white stuff on this pretzel?
Salt, but what process are you talking about where salt becomes alive?
I am not a biologist but as far as I know Garganacl isn't a real animal -- it's a Pokémon creature.
Salt is not a living material, but once you eat it, it is incorporated into your body.
Another question: Are your bones a living material or a non-living material? Also, is calcium a living material or non-living material?
Again, I am a physics/math/Splatoon lore guy, not a biologist, but I don't think digestion can be compared to the creation of new life from no life.
Bones are absolutely a living material, you're not just a sack of fluid and tendons connected to conveniently shaped solid objects, the bones are as much a living tissue as your organs or circulatory system, it's where new blood cells are created, naturally.
Lol this is the stupidest fucking argument I've ever seen.
Salt does not just become ALIVE just because it becomes incorporated into an already living being.
I'm talking making life out of just chemicals, which has yet to be done. The only time we can make life is when we have a "seed" from another living organism. We haven't been able to produce our own "seeds" through non-biological means.
>We have never once recreated life from ordinary periodic elements have we? No
moron the chemical components of proteins can be reproduced under the same conditions of Earth's ocean billions of years ago. research before you preach
>amino acids = life
you're the moron
yes, they are indeed required for life, at least in Earth-like environments
>shifting goal posts
Also read the thread. Amino acids occasionally forming by themselves is still an impossibly wide margin away from actual life.
>I have been shuffling this deck for hours, and still haven't seen a royal flush. Thus, it is impossible for a royal flush to happen by random chance.
Thats a very closeminded metaphor to compare to a process as complex as this. Try stacking one hundred razor blades edge to edge on top of each other, the chance of succeding would be more akin to life randomly creating itself from scraps.
Bro. The original anon you replied to was stating that we never once created life from ordinary periodic elements. You bringing in that amino acids can form on their own is not a refusal of this statement in the slightest. It’s equally as unimpressive as if you would have said that life can easily form on its own because molecules can do so as well and life is made from molecules so checkmate or whatever.
>thing exists
>in order for thing to exist, you need other thing
>other thing can be created from different thing
you suck at this
Okay so then why haven't we been able to reproduce it?
a bunch of amino acids floating around is still a giant leap away from them arranging themselves into an organism with the ability to reproduce itself. Its not far away from dumping a bunch of bricks in the desert and expecting that they'll eventually form into a skyscraper by pure chance of environmental occurrences.
Once again they give shiver the worst option
That's a squidkids game
Should have been skinwalkers for shiver
Also aliens are real. I see them in salmon run all the time
So aliens doesn't necessarily mean life on other planets but inter planetary travelers right? there is no way there aren't other forms of life on the universe but the ones with ships ehhhh.
FOREIGN LIFEFORMS INKVENTORY
SUSPENDED STATE OF CRYOGENICS
SELECTIVE SPLATTING IS THE STORY
BELIEVED FORETOLD BUT WHOD SUSPECT
MILITARY INKTELLIGENCE
TWO WORDS COMBINED THAT CANT MAKE SENSE
I’m gonna side with shiver because big man is a gay meme and the gremlin is disgusting to look at.
Recall: Splatfests affect Splatoon canon
If Bigfoot wins, then Bugfoot is canonically real in the Splatoon Universe, which means Mammals still exist.
And if Nessie wins, then aquatic creatures canonically exist in the Splatoon universe!
wait...
https://twitter.com/splar_/status/1636329158384185346
don't open
What is he trying to tell us?
This image unlocked a memory
>be anon
>have the occasional sleep paralysis experience
>it happens again, around 5-6AM as you lie on your back
>the sun shines through the curtains, making out a humanoid shape in the distance
>it climbs the bed and gets way too close to your face
>you can feel its hot breath and barely make out a face
>it looks like a partially scorched corpse, with part of its skull visible
>the creature's proportions make you come to the conclusion that it's some strange alien
>the alien proceeds to move its face closer and further away, in an almost rhythmic fashion
>realize that this may be the end, and come to the conclusion that if you are going to die, you might as well go out with no regrets
>you gather the strength to just barely move your lips in that state, softly murmuring the words ayy lmao
>the alien continues to move its face for a few more minutes, before fading out as you wake up
TL;DR: I defeated a sleep paralysis demon with memes.
If I was an ayyy that's what I'd do. Go into suburb at night and dab on minorities.
Duende
Alienchads, we got this.
>they don't believe in bigfoot
Easy. Nessie and Bigfoot aren't real, while we are the aliums.
aliens are the least real option out of the 3. all of them are completely nonexistent though. i'd sooner believe in ghosts
Are you guys actually voting for which one is most likely to exist or just whichever one is coolest
I'm going to vote for my waifu, as always.
Gay
Ogopogo
this song was made by Ganker 8 years ago, pay your respects
that fag reuploaded it with some ayy gifs and got a million hits
not only are nessie, aliens and bigfoot all fake
they are ALSO gay
alright Ganker fag here let me spell it out for you
Bigfoot: fake
Loch Ness monster: fake
Seas serpents: fake
Little green men: fake
Skinwalkers: fake
Mkole mbembe: fake
Bunyip: extinct
Gnomes: unfortunately fake
Reptillians: real
Giant spiders: real
Barn new: real
Goblins: real
Dogmen: real
Ghosts: real but not in the way you think
Mothman: same as above
Kraken: real
>Little green men: fake
Grey bros we can't stop winning
>Little green men
Well duh, everyone knows they're tall and grey.
>Mothman
>real but not in the way you think
EXPLAIN THIS
mothman is my cat
I'm sure it is
rippen
It's going to be aliens because they want you to believe the earth is round.
Why, NESSIE of course!
sauce
Am I stupid if I unironically think that Nessie existed at one point. Even if it was like a hundred or a couple years ago?
I am sure it's dead or long gone regardless. But the Loch Ness lake is special in that it's super deep and connected to the ocean.
And there are other prehistory creatures that have persisted to some extents all the way up to the modern day. Even if just briefly.
It's like giant squids. They're real but for a long time people thought people were just bullshitting.
The sea is actually quite unexplored.
Hey man if coelacanth's and other decedent's of ancient marine life somehow survived the dino culling, why not our boy nessie?
Finally a splatfest where I don't agree with Frye
Dammit, Grizz you cheap bastard, put some perks on your suits
>Already page 9
Lmao dead game
the chud shit killed it for me honestly
There is no chud stuff in the game. Heck, there's not even Yuri in a game with a two thirds female cast.
they gave the males girl animations and I hate it
Okay that's fair. I hate that too. however I have gotten used to it and I play female inlling anyway. it'd be a lot better if they kept male/female versions of every animation though and made the male victory animations slightly more trihard edgelord variations of the same thing.
Based on how video game execs often think, the idea was probably, "Why make two or more different sets of animations when we could give everyone the same animation and use that time to make more emotes."
I know thats probably it but I still hate it and I feel like the only reason its acceptable now is because of trannies
>because of trannies
its more of an NB thing than trannies, honestly removing gender from body style is just a clear improvement across the board for games where your gender doesn't play any role in the gameplay or story.
>honestly removing gender from body style is just a clear improvement
how is making me look gay a clear improvement?
>how is making me look gay
you're playing a child's videogame on a baby console my man
and? I would never make such gayy poses the inklings do as a kid. is trying to make kids gay a good thing?
>I would never make such gayy poses the inklings do as a kid.
no lol you just did naruto poses.
im guessing youre a chud since you see nothing wrong with it
yeah thats gotta be it. everyone who isn't like you is a chud. this is a healthy mindset. do you realize you have the same mentality and same canned responses as pretty much everyone else on this site?
explain why forcing my character to look like a gay is a good thing
Why are you playing a male in Splatoon to begin with.
>forcing my character to look like a gay
sounds like a drip issue
this is the gayest cepholopod I've ever seen
now use another weapon and you'll see what I mean
because im not a chud
>now use another weapon and you'll see what I mean
wait really you're just mad that the win animations are goofy?
there's a difference between goofy and homosexual
not when you grew up with a deathly fear of things that make you stand out, ie: doing silly poses
they aren't silly poses they are feminin poses
i disagree and i think you're overreacting
are you a straight man?
Brella mains are never straight.
They don't exist.
this seems like a goofy non-sequitur meant to end the argument with a 'gotcha' statement. if you don't want to talk about this anymore you can just stop and I'll stop too.
I just feel like you arent since you dont understand my issue, I dont want my character too like like a gay its that simple
>I dont want my character too like like a gay its that simple
then don't play a game where your only choice in characters is 'shota squid' and 'e-boi squid'
>The face of the enemy.
they don’t even look this cute anymore 🙁
eyes of a killer who is a slut
nta but why can't I be a straight shota
I'm not asking much
>why can't I be a straight shota
but you can. regardless of what you think, you can be straight while acting flamboyant. you have been led to believe that the way you act has some sort of bearing on your sexuality.
I'm not even straight I actually just don't want to look like a raging gay tbdesu
Then don't dress your character like one, you thundering walrus sniffer.
children aren't flaming gays, whats wrong with you?
That pose is pretty feminine.
Aw, dawg, that's gay as hell.
no, THIS is gay
Cephs in that shirt can not be trusted.
The pose they make when within a shop is especially effeminate to me.
Most people typically file non-binary stuff under trans stuff.
actual chud post. "nb" is just a weirder flavour of chud that makes even less sense.
>"nb" is just a weirder flavour of chud
that doesn't make sense and you know it. you just know you can say retarded zero-effort thoughts like this and get away with it because you're on Ganker and everyone has your back.
>i'm not actually [what I am]
>I'm [what I'm not]
>except this time its a made up thing that doesnt even exist
NB is just tomboy/tomgirl without the gendering.
Not at all.
>no Yuri
Debateable
Bigfoot is fucking real, if you don't believe it you're probably vaxxed.
Joining team Nessie because N64 Dorrie and Lapras.
why can't we change the salmon lobby music
Mr Grizz doesn't want to buy a juke box
someone needs to tell him they started charging money to use them (profit)
Salmonoid Ink seems to be much more slowing than player ink. Is this the case, or is it in my head?
you have no ink resistance subs in Salmon Run because you have no gear.
I mean, even with no Ink Resistance, it seems to slow a lot more than Player Ink
Coming out of splatoon retirement to blast Scotland the brave at max volume and fight for nessie
Nessie is real in the Splatim world, but she's on the land now
and in a band
They should’ve swapped Aliens with another cryptid (Chupacabra?), as it stands Aliens are gonna sweep.
That, or swap Nessie with a more widespread paranormal entity, like ghosts. Bigfoot and Aliens have been reported basically everywhere, while Nessie is supposedly a single creature in a single lake, so it has no chance.
shift station when you fuckers
Marina is too busy being the next DLC's totally unexpected main villain to design them
>Loch Ness is one of Britain's largest and deepest freshwater lakes. It is long, narrow, deep and straight 38 km long, 1.7 km wide and 230 m deep, is 16 m above sea level and is connected to the sea by the 12-km-long River Ness
>and 230 m deep
Impressive.
had a good series after a long long streak of bad ones, played some salmon, got two good teams and managed to claw my way back to evp after being stuck with shitters these past couple rotations, killed a king salmonid, yeah I'm feeling pretty good, I'm so back
>specific water monster
>specific apeman monster
>generic aliens
Um, hello? Mothman? The Jersey Devil? Wendigo? Mongolian Death Worm? Bunyip? Mokele Mbembe? Hell, if they wanted to stick with aliens how about the Flatwoods Monster?
It should have been monsters as a whole (I forgot the term that covers all of them) vs Ghost vs Aliens.
Cryptids
Yeah that one
Cryptids vs Alien vs Ghosts
ayy lmao
oh yeah it’s time to get a win for our alien brothers
SCOTLAND FOREVER!!!!!
Aliens will win, but I want to pick Bigfoot.
>Gankerirgins throwing screaming tantrums over fictional cartoon squids being sexy
3/4 please just press all set I want to play
splatoon 3 sucks theres no good kits
I feel like the animations were meant to look good on the female models and look good enough on the male models.
Of all 3, the one i would believe most to be real, would be Nessie. Kind of a godzilla thing.
Like some scottish lizard who got in contact with some chemical that made it larger instead of killing it.
Bigfoot is prolly some escaped convict with a feet deformity and excessive body hair, and if aliens were real, there shouldnt be any reason why they are doing their damnedest to hide from people like they supposedly do.
>and if aliens were real, there shouldnt be any reason why they are doing their damnedest to hide from people like they supposedly do
Look at how humans treat each other. Aliens have very good reason to not become the targets of that kind of batshit insanity.
why do we assume aliens aren't just like us?
The fact they have intergalactic space travel shows they're far beyond us in terms of culture and civility.
why do we think they have that? for all we know we could be the most advanced species in the universe
Wait what,
Does splatoon 3 have 3 teams in MP matches now?
only in the second half of splatfest and it's optional even then now
Tri-color matches do.
yes theres a special match mode where its 2 vs 4 vs 2, its kind of weird though but basically 2 +2 vs 4 however the other team can still kill you for clout
Slowest salmon run of my life
>splatfest thread derailed by “man” triggered by “feminine” poses
Whining is a feminine activity. Kys off topic chud
why even have a create a character if youre going to force me to be a girl fuck off with your "no u" shit
>still histrionic
chud
>if youre going to force me to be a girl
just because you cant dress up in cargo pants, black combat boots and a flektarn parka doesn't mean you are being 'forced' to be a girl.
they have force the girl animations upon me even if I play as a guy
could you please point to the girl animations?
all of them just look at the fucking idle stance
imagine joining the pool but playing SOLO
just leave and stop flooding the notifications tab with your solo playing ass
Someone thinks you're fresh 🙂
Do you seethe about this in every thread, dumbass?? If you don’t see the invite notification, the lobby is already gone. Quit complaining about non issues retard
Stop spamming solo games
Non issue, keep crying over nothing
no
as people in previous threads have mentioned go complain to nintendo and ask them for option to filter
you want real soul, go to splatoon 1
Literally impossible, it was Hiroshima'd
it'll be back
I hope
just let me have this cope
They won't bother because they'd have to patch the remote code execution exploit.
they did it for some other games like mario kart 7
the fact they said it's in maintenance to fix it rather just saying fuck it and closing it gives me a tiny bit of hope
I’m not picking shit until I see who who has the most conches. I expect aliens to win
In the context of splatoon's world, all three are probably real. ayy lmao
aliens end up finding grizz and turning him into an ultimate weapon
splatoon 3: side order coming dec 2024
Of course the 5head is aliens
Wait Frye is aliens? God dammit
All we know about Loch Ness is that Nessie isn't there now. But a creature like Nessie could have easily been living in that lake for ages, perhaps more reasonably, just momentarily. While remaining extremely hidden.
Loch Ness is in the top 100 deepest lakes in the world. Its depth actually reaches the mesopelagic zone. But of those lakes it is one of the few that is also connected to the ocean.
Unpopular opinion. You shouldn't be able to put the bubbler on the tower directly.
Pools closed is going to pick alien for easy wins in tricolor
oh yeah this is poolsclosed's first splatfest
holy shit I cannot wait for the absolute shitflinging when a team from here loses a 100x or 333x battle
I'm still kinda choosing between bigfoot and ayys despite always picking shivers options previously, leaning towards bigfoot I think hehe funky monke
>get a x333 with poolsclosed
>unplug my router to cancel the match
whoops guys my b hehe
its hilarious they still haven't fixed that. im sure no one does it in the JP region so they just don't care.
they should just give points to the team without the dc in those cases
Proof?
>bigfoot aka sasquatch
>the yeti
>two completely disconnected legends from completely different regions
>but ever since both came to light they've been depicted and described as practically the exact same thing only in different environments
Is this just cope from both camps trying to legitimise each other?
>would fuck nessie
>would fuck aliens
>would fuck bigfoot
>find big man the hottest of the 3
>but aliens are the most likely to actually be real and marry me
Goddamn it, Big Man, you've had the correct answer for nearly every other Splatfest. Why would you fuck it up now?
Big Man only had 2 correct choices. He was horribly wrong every other splatfest. Water and white
>water
>sour
>white chocolate
>Fun, assuming you take the theory that it was supposed to be a camping trip to heart
>scissors
Big Man is right more than he's wrong.
>Sour
Absolutely not. Sour is easily the worst flavor that is not bitter. Umami > Salty > Hispanicy > Sweet > Sour > Bitter
>Fun
If you're not already guaranteed food or a way to procure food, bringing fun along with you is the most retarded choice possible. Besides, men are naturally inclined to want the tools and to shape their environment. It's why we like digging so much.
>Scissors
Rock is actually the correct choice for playing RPS against non-pros. Studies have shown that Rock and Scissors are invariably thrown about 30 - 40% of the time each, with Paper being thrown only about 20% of the time. With that in mind, you have a roughly 80% chance to tie or win if you throw Rock, while you have a 60% chance to tie or win if you throw Scissors.
If you play against someone who knows the psychology behind RPS, your best throw depends entirely on how much psychological damage you can do to your opponent before you throw.
silence weeb
Anime reality.
Rock is the correct choice.
Rock and scizzors are both played about 40% of the time. Paper takes the remaining about 20%.
Rock wins 40% of the time but only loses 20% of the time having a net win ratio of 1/5.
Paper goes even.
Scizzors only beats the least common throw and loses to the throw that it ties with in appearance, taking a new win ratio of -1/5.
Not to mention rock being the winning choice is literally canon in Splatoon.
>Nessie instead of Ogopogo
Shiver you dumb bitch. Nessie got proven fake decades ago
>Nessie got proven fake decades ago
Nope. They just established that Nessie wasn't in the lake at the time.
wtf's ogopogo, no one knows that shit, that would get 2 votes
>Ogopogo
>not Champ
Go back to your fishbowl.
Frye is adorable.
Adorably punchable! lol!
That would not end well for you
aliens will win for sure, a more balanced options would have been
cryptids / aliens / sea creatures
still not sure about the last one
sea creatures is the easy L, cryptid/alien/religious beings (angels/devils nephilim etc) would be super interesting/cool but would never happen for obvious reasons
cryptids, aliens, ghosts
Neil Armstrong = Gnorts Mr. Alien
Alright, you've convinced me.
>aliens
>lorewise mankind might still exist
ayy time
>Scalie vs Xeno vs Furry
ayy lmao is literally a tumblr chud meme
https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/ayy-lmao
Aliens are real bro
This rotation is not fun
I am only having fun when I am jr
God dammit I'm going to be on Frye's team a 5th time
You can't escape
What if Nessie was an alien and bigfoot the pet they brought with them?
Aliens is the best answer, but Nessie is cooler so I'm picking that instead.
>Nessie is cooler
Nothing cooler than ayyy lmaos.
Did you know that only 2% of Scotland has been explored? This makes Nessie's existence highly likely.
Scotland is smaller than the US state of Maine. Bigfoot could be anywhere up there, while Nessie is confined to the waterways, all of which have been inhabited.
>while Nessie is confined to the waterways
and ocean*
Why are you people acting like "cryptids" isn't a wide enough net to be cast over both aliens AND ghosts when there are several of both in modern folklore considered just that? Making it Cryptids/Aliens/whatever the fuck would be like making a splatfest and having the options be Food/Pizza/Burgers.
Nessie might not be real but unfortunately the other two seem to be.
you guys ARE aliens right? im not the only one?
No, I'm a natural born citizen of my country.
We need more color variety for these fests
man that's so much better
Kind of weird neon green wasn't the go to color for aliens at least.
Aliens is the only correct choices, fuck nessiefags, fuck footfags, fuck jannies and megatron did nothing wrong
splatoon is a footfag game
can you post prove of this outlandish claim you dare bring in this respectable thread on Ganker.org Ganker?
Friendship bracelet was in S2 and WILL come back in S3.
true if big
Feet kill my boner, not make it big, so it won't be true.
>anon finally gets with a woman
>she takes her clothes off
>babe keep your shoes on
>i cant look at your feet
Listen, the socks stay ON during sex.
Lies...
anyone wants to play SR ?
is this 999 potential?
not bad but lacks dps and doesn't look fun besides ballpoint
Spawning Grounds aside, the crowd clearing abilities are a bit lacking, and the DPS is a bit low. If you traded the Squelcher for, say, an E-liter or a Splat Roller or an Explosher, it'd be kino.
Favorite type of Alien?
i will get max hazard
>Max hazard
>Swig, Goo Tuber, Mini Splatling
Aliens are gonna win the popular vote, I can guarantee that.
It's because aliens is broad term and leaves a lot to the imagination, compared to a large hairy monkey and water dinosaur. Should've been Flatwoods Monster or something just as specific
>Should've been Flatwoods Monster or something just as specific
Yeah, if we're specifically talking about cryptids that would be a good choice, but even then there might not be any cryptids that are well known enough to compete with Nessie and Bigfoot. Maybe Chupacabra or something would've been better.
Gee I wonder why
I'm going with Nessie because it reminds me of this one Lionel Traintown level I played as a kid that inexplicably had Nessie rise up from a lake, make some horrible eldritch cry, spew acid at a bridge and melt it, and descend back into the lake. Shit fuckin' scared me.
should have been
>the lizard man
>the goat man
>skin walker
>flesh gait
>chupacabra
>mothman
not nessie
nobody believes in nessie
Cryptids in general would have been good for a North American splatfest, but kind of weird for a worldwide one where people will mostly know their local ones and not some weird more obscure one from the other side of the planet. Even in the Japanese version of the splatfest they call Bigfoot a yeti which would mean a completely different thing to people who may believe in yetis, but not Bigfoot or vice versa
Also Nessie and Bigfoot are too specific compared to aliens. It should've been something like Aliens, Ghosts, and Sea Monsters. All of which have various interpretations on what constitutes them being "real".
yetis and bigfoot are the same thing in my mind though. its about like a grizzly bear and a brown bear
That might be true, but if we're talking about which is more likely, in my mind yetis are more likely than Bigfoot to exist just considering how huge and remote the Himalayas are and apes and monkeys are common in Asia, so yetis could just be a type of ape that lives in the Himalayas.
yeti is just snow bigfoot. they can both exist
Not say they do or they don't, but yeti specifically is more likely to exist to me.
Fuck nessie, fuck bigfeet
There's a 99% chance there's aliens out there but we will never see them
God fucking damn it! EVERY FUCKING TIME THEY GIVE BIGMAN MY FUCKING CHOICE!
This has to be the most boring splatfest theme yet. I'll just pick Shiver because she's the hottest.
>This has to be the most boring splatfest theme yet
Rock Paper Scissors was literally just a glorified popularity contest. The only people who had serious stake in a specific answer and not the idol it's attached to were a minority of giga autists trying to metagame a schoolyard pastime.
I want fucking splatfest themed gear
Never ever, preasu understando
cant wait for the christians vs muslims vs garden gnomes splatfest
>Bible vs Torah vs Quran
Easy Shiver W.
>mfw team frye keep throwing splatbombs at their feet
the bible's super interesting so I'd join that team although I haven't read or looked into the history of the other two
The Quran is really not all that great. It's basically Confucianism but for Arabs. And by that, I mean its a bunch of disciples writing down the wise words of their leader, even if what their leader said was retarded.
There's one point where Muhammad says that he can tell how far down hell is by waiting to hear a rock hit the ground underneath them. Also, bro flies away on a pegasus.
The only time I would actively not participate in a Splatfest, fuck religion.
We’re reaching levels of fedora tipping that shouldnt even be possible
Imagine using a children's video game to perpetuate centuries' long holy wars over fiction.
holy mother of all tips
you could just say you think splatoon shouldn't cover religious topics so directly instead of going this smug roundabout way about it
>the "this is a children's game, why are you playing it?" cringeatheist is back
Get out of this thread. You have no reason to be here.
>Atheism is cringe
Go molest some kids since that's the only thing religion is good at doing.
Public school teachers don't come across as particularly religious.
I'm not really religious but you're coming off as the massive loser stuck up atheist stereotype right now
Shiver sisters…OY VEYYYY!
>AAAAYYY ACKBAR!
>*blows up*
>strut into the club like "Aaaayy"
>make a big mess
DEUS VULT
This is a call to arms. Nessie needs you
Bigfoot motherfuckers.
They must be REALLY desperate to inflate shiverchud numbers.
deflate you mean
nobody cares about nessie
Frye*
This is an easy Frye sweep. No way Nessie gets more than 20% of the vote.
This. Since I know Shiver is a lost cause Im going Bigfoot Man. He’s always got a good chance of winning, plus I like Bigfoot the most these days. No way in hell Shiver wins this one. High chance Frye wins because Alien is going to be a popularity blowout. This could be Hispanicy vs sweet vs sour except Shiver will be the equivalent of sour retards this time. Big Foot will be a strong #2, #1 if we get lucky. Popularity wins folks, the numbers dont lie
>yuros rooting for nessie
>mutts rooting for harry
>elevens rooting for ayy lmaos
Here's a splatfest idea: Goblins vs Kobolds vs Skeletons.
Shoot the fucking lessers, parappa!
SHOOT THE SHOOT THE FUCK-ING LESSERS, WOOMY!
What's up with that? These timmies don't wanna kill the garbage and it's pissing me off. And I'm already usually the rotations main garbage killer, so I've been killing double the amount I normally do which was already a lot. So long as we keep winning whatever, lazy fucks.
Im usually not a fan of blaster in SR but in this rotation its been making nice work of lessers with its aoe. do wish it didnt take 2 directs to kill a cohok tho
Yep, blaster is the one you want for maximum garbage removal. Each weapon can do well with it though. E-liter can pierce long lines of them, and with the way enemies funnel through narrow walkways on Gone Fission it makes it easy to line em up and take em out. Junior is a fine trash killer as well. Even Pro does a decent enough job. So there's no excuse for why these Timmies aren't killing shit, a lot of them just don't get it it seems.
>do wish it didnt take 2 directs to kill a cohok tho
Direct + indirect works. So you can direct one then aim at some nearby trash to finish it off. Great if you're facing a bunch.
Something happened and idk what the fuck it was. Ive been stuck losing nonstop, doesnt matter if its turfwar or salmon run, its nonstop loss. I think I have lost turfwar maybe 15 matches in a row now. The only wins I have are in anarchy mode. I've been the top person in each match in both turf inked and kills. Im just not having fun.
Just your typical system-mandated loss streak. If you keep playing long enough it will suddenly award you with a bunch of the easiest wins you've ever gotten. Thanks engagement based matchmaking!
I guess so, but its never been this bad before. Really frustrating.
tried again and this time my team mates are just standing around jumping and spinning while the other team paints everything. This shit has to be on purpose.
It is on purpose, but not in the way you think.
God hates you.
Take a break if you're not having fun. You'll just fall deeper into a seethe at this rate. Could be the hour, a lot of adult players are still waging for the next hour or few.
I just got out of that exact same hell, hope you'll get out soon too, I think it's matchmaking seeing that you've been won a lot of your previous matches and seeing that you're consistently a high performer and just locking you in with absolutely terrible shitters and hoping you'll carry as a way to "balance" teams, I can't even offer any advice, I just kept getting shit teammates and losing until the game decided I wasn't that great and now puts me with players of equal skill, jesus christ it was such hell, playing this game with a team of shitters is akin to torture while playing with those of equal skill is actually a lot of fun, which I had nearly totally forgotten until my last session which is when nintendo decided to stop fucking me with shitty teammates, best of luck with the long slog ahead of you
Bigfoot sisters what the H?
>no duende
>no chupacabra
>no skinwalker
LAME!
When's Piss vs Shit vs Smegma?
>people picking the objectively inferior and afterthought designs (males)
You get what you deserve, the female designs are so much better than the males in this series it's unreal. The only reason you'd pick them is if you've got some kind of complex about thinking playing a female character makes you some kind of chud.
I pick them because they are cute
You ever just want to close the game on the helicopter ride in after looking at the badges and names of your teammates?
I haven't actually closed it yet, but everytime I get that gut feeling it usually ends up being right. The stereotypes are real for a reason. If you see the red flags, you just know.
>Sarah
>Marie, Callie, basic Judd badges
I never see these badges on SR
>You ever just want to close the game on the helicopter ride in after looking at the badges and names of your teammates?
big run 5% with no HLM or 999 to accompany it is a big red flag for me
Silver/bronze big run badges are way bigger red flags.
I have big run 5% from the first one but no stage HLM or 999 badges, also got to like 500-600 evp last big run and was carrying my weight well, I could probably get all the salmon run badges if I wanted, I just don't like grinding for such little reward and in such a tight time constraint
Sometimes, but then after the match it turns out "nicole" was one of the best players so I don't always hold it against them.
I equip the purple fish badge just to bait you.
I don't give a fuck what badges you use to bait me. Just stop playing like shit and you can wear a chud badge followed by a swastika follwed by a moron getting fucked up the ass badge for all I care. Just fucking play the game.
Of course I play my best. That's part of the mindfuck. Then the next guy wearing a purple badge is going to bait you into believing he's good too.
Forgot to add the next guy is a shitter. Add an edit option, Hiroshima.
You're a retard and are overthinking this way too much. Out of all of the people wearing the shitty bronze badge, you are miniscule. The chances of me actually playing with you are equally miniscule. I rarely if ever play with a bronze fag shitter that isn't shit. If there ever was one, it's the exception to the rule. The next bronze badge I see will always be a shitter, no matter how tricky you think you are retard.
The chances aren't miniscule if we play in the same pool, which I asume we do.
Then if I start to recognize your name I'll remember if you're a good or bad player. God you're a retard.
Jeez, calm down, grampa. Did you peed your pants again?
he's right tho
Why are SR players so autistic
I don't equip any dick waving badges and I don't look at anyone's player cards unless I'm waiting around in the kill screen
The only team member that gives me cause for concern is pink slopsuit veemos with drill hair, red eyes as an optional bonus.
how do you even remember appearances so specifically, I'm more focused on playing the actual game
If you played with them you would understand
trust me I've played with my share of 0-1 egg shitters and I couldn't recall their appearance to save my life
wtf are you talking about? you see them in the helicopter and after the match and outside grizzco
their appearance isn't important so my mind immediately discards the information once the match starts immediately discards the information once match begins, waste of brain space to keep random players in long term memory
uhh how the fuck did I end up writing that twice, weird
Maybe you should keep grammar and syntax in your mind as well.
lol
looks like you didnt wipe enough data from your brain storage space
I wonder if we will ever develop a method for digitizing memory, the concept fascinates me from a purely physical standpoint. Whatthe fuck even IS a memory exactly? Seems so malleable and nebulous.
>"Two possibilities exist: either we are alone in the universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying."
Team Alien for me.
>used to think religion is cringe
>then atherists became fucking annoying and overbearing
>now the ironic religious posters are becoming annoying too
Why does the issue turn everyone involved into braying gays
Fedora atheists and TRAD EVROPA retards are the same people. They never believed in anything.
Is there a rule that they need to have one clay poop coloured team in every splatfest?
Aliens:
>travel between dimensions
>talk in your head
>torture people
>hide from humanity unless you are in power
>offer faulty power deals
>possess people
>distort video
>want to be worshipped
>abuse sexually
>require blood
>mutilate animals
>leave sigils
>kidnap people
>mess with your memory
>distort space
>want you to reject Jesus
Demons;
>All of the above
When did you realize that aliens are just demons in desguise?
They are not ready yet for the truth.
>on april first
I hope the Ganker joke sucks this year or else I'm missing day one
Do you really think the jokes are worth spending more than an hour or two on? Especially because half the threads in the catalogue become sissy surrender ERP threads?
>sissy surrender ERP
HOT
There is so much good lewd art posted april first if the joke is good that yes I do. Threads are filled with good art and I just spend all day downloading
Bigfoot is unironically real and is actually a giant. A tiktok streamer filmed one from far away on top of a mountain and was harassed by glowmorons the next day.
>a tikto-
opinion discaded
>harassed by glowmorons the next day
you have my interest
Cephalopod pussy
Finally a good post.
humans returning when?
Hopefully never and hopefully after 3 explained everything they drop the old world bullshit for good
Humans aren't real, much like octolings.
never
unless it's the professor but that's all I can see happening
Now
Humans being involved in OE was a last-second surprise
The entirety of RotM was about them
Hopefully, they've done all they wanted to do with them at this point
Honestly i expect to see mankind returning in splat4, were speaking about modern nintendo here, they are lazy fucks... like the russian snail that shall not be named
doubt it, at most I see the professor coming back to stop lil judd, even then I expect it to be like a video message or A.I. or something
Most post-apocalyptic stories that feature the fall of an advanced civilization and/or an extinct intelligent species put a lot of focus on those who came before and what they left behind. So I don't see this changing for Splatoon, either as the fact that the Splatoon world is earth in the future is a core part of the setting.
Humans being involved implicitly is fine. Humans returning in the flesh as characters would be completely and utterly lame. The humans are dead. Everyone's dead, Dave.
I'm voting for Bigfoot because Inklings are obseesed with humans and my dumbass ceph thinks all humans looked like that
Goddamn can they pick a new colour palette, isn’t this pretty much the same one we had for Gear/Grub/Fun and Hispanicy/Sweet/Sour?
I'm being to fear we'll be stuck with basically these colors the entire lifecycle
which is very stupid
There’s plenty of sets of 3 colours they could use, I don’t get why they’re sticking to this one. I think Light Blue/Light Pink/Yellow would be one that’d work well.
Many players don't pick based on voice or idol but on what they think is the best/ most unique color. This is why White Chocolate got so many people last time. As a result, they may be reluctant to throw in more interesting Ink colors.
I want to fuck an octotrooper.
I dont know how you guys have the patience to get to 999. I just can never muster the willpower or energy to try and grind past 400-600. Do you guys just play all day? If I had a reliable team this would be less of a grind, but with freelancers (and poolsclosed) its pretty hit or miss. Today there seems to be some particularly shit players in the mix, probably because this is a strong set of weapons and its carrying shitters higher than they should be.
I only did it once and it fucking sucked. Just get the hazard level max badge if you care and pretend the map specific badges don't exist.
It is pretty miserable. I've gotten 2 and they took about 15 hours each (spread over the rotation period).
>I dont know how you guys have the patience to get to 999
Was literally just a random burst of motivation for me after wanting it for months.
>Do you guys just play all day?
The first day I played a LOT to make sure I had a big cushion for my second day. This was after getting to like 840~ and failing to 999 on Fission
> If I had a reliable team this would be less of a grind, but with freelancers (and poolsclosed) its pretty hit or miss
For me I had a good streak with a premade in the beginning (like up to 300-600, idr) and then just freelanced the rest. Once you get to 800 its basically all fellow sweaties. I did it during a splatfest and literally ran into maybe a total of like 10 people up there.
>Today there seems to be some particularly shit players in the mix, probably because this is a strong set of weapons and its carrying shitters higher than they should be.
True, I was getting really annoyed by crab bucketing retards even at around 300-400 yesterday
idk about you guys but so far I hate the ruins map.
its ok. depends on the mode for me. bad for turf war and clams for sure
Turns out flanks don't matter if both paths end at a snipers perch.