Optical media is on its way out, and video game consoles are leading the way. Specifically, Microsoft’s new Xbox One S All-Digital Edition will be the first real gaming console without any sort of disc media whatsoever. Got a hard copy of Halo 5? You won’t be able to run it on here. Instead, owners of the new console will have to buy into the long-dreaded “games as a service” effort that both publishers and console manufacturers have been trying to push on gamers for about a decade since everyone figured out that DLCs and microtransactions sell way better than single-purchase games. Microsoft first tried to go down the online-only…

So we’ve had a little problem with our Xbox Live service. No biggie, we thought. We’ll just make a call and have it fixed. If only! What follows is an emotional, true story of one man’s struggle to redeem his honour, his 3000 Microsoft points card, and, ultimately, the threads of his own sanity. Enjoy the ride. Episode 1: The Phantom Microsoft Xbox LIVE, for the most part, is a pretty decent online experience that can offer you hour upon hour of fun, adventure, and merciless teabaggings by random idiots. But what happens when you’re a Gold customer, who’s paying good money for a yearly service, and something goes wrong…