TALION

YOU CANT FRICK THE SPIDER

A Conspiracy Theorist Is Talking Shirt $21.68

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A Conspiracy Theorist Is Talking Shirt $21.68

  1. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    frick you old man, what's the ring for if not for fricking

  2. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    SUFFER ME NOW!

  3. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >tfw no spidussy

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      His face reminds me of the meme monk from Halo Infinite.
      I actually don't have the original pic saved tho, so this one will have to do.

  4. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    What a stupid game.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      homosexual

  5. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Could've saved so much money if they just didn't have a story.

  6. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >all we had to was get the damn palantir CJ

  7. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Not with that attitude

  8. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    WHADDAYA MEAN I CAN'T FRICK THE SPIDER!?

  9. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    come on losers release another game with nemesis system already

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      No, they're going to sit on the patent for another decade until it expires, while releasing crappy DC superhero games that should be using the system.

  10. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Why did they betray him? Are they stupid?

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Ghost Elf thinking with his ghost elf dick

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      They didn't didn't read the books first so they didn't know he would survive

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        YEAH i stopped playing this game because the lore rape was so bad.

        a shame the first game was kino and t he second game was good until about then

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          >the lore rape was so bad.
          when the chinese women nazgul flashback cutscene played, I was cringing so hard.

          I really hope they don't make a sequel but I'm pretty sure they will considering the fact that a new LOTR movie is in production.

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            only good thing is the nemesis system
            such a shame such an amazing mechanic and interesting ai is wasted on such a formulamatic game
            sucks even more they copyrighted a game mechanic system LOL so good luck seeing it in anything else even offline gtp4+ is gonna sux

            • 1 week ago
              Anonymous

              >there will never be a game with the nemesis system
              >there will never be another game where you mind control someone in an organization and make them do glowie shit from the inside
              Phantom Doctrine 2 is dead and there are no other substitutes

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                >Phantom Doctrine 2
                whats some other games with fun mechanics like that?
                seems like devs stopped experimenting with new gameplay ideas over 5-10yrs ago especially since 2020

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                >Phantom Doctrine
                First time I've heard of this series. Sequel seems dead but is the 1st game worth checking out for glowie ops?
                https://store.steampowered.com/app/559100/Phantom_Doctrine/

            • 1 week ago
              Anonymous

              >there will never be a game with the nemesis system
              >there will never be another game where you mind control someone in an organization and make them do glowie shit from the inside
              Phantom Doctrine 2 is dead and there are no other substitutes

              Monolith is making a wonder wamen game with the nemesis system. they'll get their dream of making a girlboss game come true as they did with eltariel killing off talion and as she also kills off celebrimbor in the next game.

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                How do you even implement the nemesis system into fricking wonder woman.
                With orcs having a bunch of fricked up insane morons chasing you around made sense, what the frick does she even fight?

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                Do we even know who/what is the Orc-replacement Nemesis race in her game? Parademons or some other orc-like race? Other Amazonians? Nazis but sanitized for sales in Germany?

                It's been years since they announced it and they haven't said anything about it other than that it would have the nemesis system.

                wait they killed off talion? LOL! thank frick i stopped playing that game long beofre that happened

                >ww
                doa even israeliteess sticc model fu thickening up and pattie junkins couldnt save that trash ip

                Talion is betrayed by both eltariel and celebrimbor as they wanted to dominate sauron instead of destroying him. he turns into a nazgul(with his will intact) and tries his best to continue his war against darkness but eventually succumbs, becoming full nazgul just to be killed by eltariel.

                it is just moronic and spit to the face by the writers who bring a totally faceless women with no backstory or whatever and make her kill the main protagonist for diversity points. It reminds me of prototype 2 which did exactly the same thing but with a black protagonist instead of a woman.

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                >becoming full nazgul just to be killed by eltariel.
                The ending implies Talion 'survived' until Mount Doom exploded, at which point he died and passed on in peace.
                It cannot be understated that Eltariel is a massive jobber who never once manages to perma-kill a Nazgul.

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                >passed on in peace.
                lol the writers tried their best to show that Talion is doomed by making him cry and say stuff like "I'm banished from death and bound to the dark lord" etc. he atleast deserved a cutscene where he is shown to reunite with his dead family after barad dur explodes and the nazgul are all dead.

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                He literally has a scene where all the Nazgul armor and shit falls off while he walks off info the sunset uncorrupted after the Ring gets destroyed.

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                I didn't do the shadow war post game, I didn't know. shadow of galadriel didn't have any closure for Talion so I assumed he didn't get any..

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                >it is just moronic and spit to the face by the writers who bring a totally faceless women with no backstory or whatever and make her kill the main protagonist for diversity points. It reminds me of prototype 2 which did exactly the same thing but with a black protagonist instead of a woman.
                never played p2 thank god

                You might want to go back, maybe watch the ending on youtube if you can't be bothered to do the sieges. The betrayal was heartbreaking and the ending was bittersweet.

                nah i had enough lorerape since the amazon series i made 2 eps in

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                The truth is Monolith saw the writing on the wall and didn't want to make a new game, since WB is a literal cancer of a publisher and was actively trying to omplement things which would have driven the games into the ground several times over. The way they did 2's ending put the series to bed, unfortunately not fast enough to stop WB from being gigajews and copyrighting the Nemesis system and all that it entails.

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                Do we even know who/what is the Orc-replacement Nemesis race in her game? Parademons or some other orc-like race? Other Amazonians? Nazis but sanitized for sales in Germany?

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                wait they killed off talion? LOL! thank frick i stopped playing that game long beofre that happened

                >ww
                doa even israeliteess sticc model fu thickening up and pattie junkins couldnt save that trash ip

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                You might want to go back, maybe watch the ending on youtube if you can't be bothered to do the sieges. The betrayal was heartbreaking and the ending was bittersweet.

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                >wonder women game
                they might have axed the game considering the fact that WB games just made a huge loss with suicide squad and also their recent statements that they are going to shift their focus to mobile games.

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                actually it wouldn't surprise me if WB did do something moronic. they forced the devs to push microtransactions and lootboxes into shadow of war. you can clearly see that the game wasn't designed for it but they did it anyway. the current situation of AAA games is just absurd and pathetic.

            • 1 week ago
              Anonymous

              Thankfully it's only patented. It's free game in 2035. If it was copywrited, it would be gonzo for multiple lifetimes.
              It also doesn't stop people from doing something similar but different to get around it either. I don't personally know what that workaround would be, but I'm sure it's an option.

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                i remember stalker had something similar in what 2006 anyway

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                The patent can be easily bypassed too by changing some elements around like kids copying homework days.

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            only good thing is the nemesis system
            such a shame such an amazing mechanic and interesting ai is wasted on such a formulamatic game
            sucks even more they copyrighted a game mechanic system LOL so good luck seeing it in anything else even offline gtp4+ is gonna sux

            I'll never understand why you grognards complain about the lore when it's clearly meant to be an excuse for a batman killer fantasy. They never said anything about fixing the lore or else, it's not some "ring of power" shit.

            • 1 week ago
              Anonymous

              Them and all spinoffs can't write anything resembling The Silmarillion anyways because they don't have the rights.

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                yeah but the criticism "hurr durr it rapes the lore" it's ridiculous. Who cares about the story it's just an excuse.

                >Spends her entire questline casting doubt on Celebrimbor and manipulating Talion into not trusting him
                >Takes Celebrimbor up on his offer of becoming his host without a second thought after a needless break up she instigated
                Two faced b***h ruined everything, and she got away with it scot free. Talion got corrupted, Celebrimbor got soul vored, and she loses two fingers (That are replaced with light magic because of course they are).

                >Talion got corrupted

                it reeks of authors panicking people would be turning on her so they made a shit Talion heel turn

            • 1 week ago
              Anonymous

              >it's not some "ring of power" shit.
              setting aside the bright lord and his ring, they do insert some stupid shit like the chinese twin rogue nazgul (what the frick?), shadow of galadriel (one of the most noble, righteous and greatesr elf uses an assasin?).

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                >the two wraith chinks which are clearly meant to be bosses and discarded never to be remembered after are lore raping

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                they clearly went to the extent of showing a Chinese kingdom which has no relation whatsover with middle-earth and any of Tolkien's works.

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                eh I remember a country full of sandBlack folk in the movies. I don't really care for the chink I bet they wanted to do something original.

                >is the best representation of an elf ever in fiction
                how did he do it?

                Nanomachines son

                Why was he so yappy in the second game?
                In the first one it was bearable but in the second one he just lost it

                writers wanted to drive a wedge with Tyrion so they turned his single mindedness to eleven. I didn't mind it was like a crack addict, what I hated were his quips

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                >country full of sandBlack folk in the movies
                the haradrim were in the books. the movies were pretty faithful adaptations.

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                ok good, so chinks aren't that horrible. and again FANFIC

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                >argument was "how was this game raping the lore"
                >point out instances which clash with the original lore / never existed in the original lore in the first place
                >"it's not bad so it's not lore rape"
                nice argument moron.

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                fanfic

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                >Asian S&M Lesbian Rogue-Class Nazgul Twins
                Oh I remember them. In fact it's the only thing I remember about the DLC.

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                Da Vinci Olog tho

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                oversized dworf

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                What's wrong with using an assassin when you're fighting the ultimate evil?
                There's no wrong way to kill a fascist.

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                bait but I'll reply anyway. there's a clear line of distinction between morally good and bad in LoTR if you've read the books. the good characters are pure through and through will never resort to dishonorable or underhanded measures.

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                Tolkien hates any kind of moral ambiguity, allegories or any other beating around the bush
                He believed in absolute good and absolute evil, no gray areas

                What did Eltariel do at any point that was evil or even dishonorable, before the end when she agreed to be Celebrimbor new host?

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                being an elf

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                She didn't use the shaming mechanic and make muhdick erect

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                she's an assassin. their job is to stab people in the back dishonorably.

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                But what did she actually do?
                How is her stabbing an orc in the back any different than Legolas sniping an orc from cover?

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                Tolkien hates any kind of moral ambiguity, allegories or any other beating around the bush
                He believed in absolute good and absolute evil, no gray areas

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Yes. Especially Eltariel for listening to a disembodied Elf spirit. That's a massive red flag.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        Eltariel pisses me off so much. And when you get to play as her in the DLC with her unique light powers, half the captains you face are immune to it. Shit sucks

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Could they even have defeated Sauron?

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        No. Irrespective of Pornstar Spider's prophecy, Celebrimbor is no Feanor and would've lost with or without Talion.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      >Why did they betray him? Are they stupid
      Kinda. It the arrogance of elves that caused their moronic decision.

      Celebrimbor thought that Talion's resistance to the idea of total Mordor domination might prevent from achieving his ambitions, so he decided to abandon his percieved "used up" old vessel for a new and better host. The elf assassin.

      Ironically, leaving Talion as a vessel was what prevented him from defeating Sauron.
      Shelob foresaw that their teamwork and the new ring would be enough to defeat Sauron. And even Sauron himself said that abandoning the ranger was a mistake.

      Although that might have been for the best. Since Shelob also foresaw that winning Mordor would have inspired Celebrimbor to take over all of middle earth. And since he had no convenient ring-weakness, the world would have been doomed.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Celebrimbor was obsessed with revenge and had though Talion was too, which at one point was correct. But Talion got HIS revenge at the end of the first game, and was effectively being pulled along by Celebrimbor into something that Talion really did not want to be part of.
      When Celebrimbor realized this he released Talion figuring it would benefit them both; Talion could rest in peace and Celebrimbor could continue on his vendetta within someone who aligned more closely with his goals. Naturally with the benefit of outside knowledge of how things will happen, the audience realizes Celebrimbor is primarily doing it out of his blind desperation to have revenge and that the 'mercy' he provided to Talion was simply him trying to look away and hide from what he was becoming, as Talion was very openly telling him how wrong things were becoming and that ultimately Celebrimbor was doomed.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        >Celebrimbor could continue on his vendetta
        no. Celebrimbor says that his plan to dominate Sauron was beyond his or Talion's petty revenge in the cutscene. he clearly went nuts with the power.

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          Yes anon, the whole point is that Celebrimbor became obssessed with not only beating Sauron, but one-upping him and becoming the Bright Lord. He didn't just want to kill Sauron, he wanted to take everything Sauron had built and show that HE was better. THAT was his idea of revenge, because Sauron had taken everything from him first.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      yes
      that ending was a kick in the balls and im glad we did it on gravewalker so we NEVER have to do that shit again.
      dont care about the other playthroughs I hope the elf and spirit elf die painfully.

  11. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    RAT KILLER!
    [Morgul the Ratfricker]
    Ooooh ranger... I see you draining them rats for life energy. You cruel MONSTER! Rats are made to stick your gronk inside of! I shall stick my gronk in you for every rat you treated improperly!

  12. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I wish this game was longer.
    Getting to the volcano place and realizing that was it was pretty heart breaking.

  13. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Fun game, but I overleveled early and it ended up with long stretches of tedium and moments of having to deal with some OP fricker.
    The Baradude dlc had kinda stabilized difficulty, but didn't manage to finish it before my old drive died.
    Well, I suppose time to reinstall it and give it an another go.
    Also, someone please make a game with nemesis system already, we are already had roguelikes with that, you can't get sued.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      >we already had roguelikes with that, you can't get sued
      ?? which ones? and please post one with an actual nemesis system like shadows, not some gimped or somewhat similar thing, I've resigned myself to the fact that those fricking c**ts copyrighted the system and won't let it ever flourish ever again
      >wonder woman game
      I can't see a nemesis system working well with parademons or goons or whoever the frick shes fighting. Orcs worked so well with that shit, lended themselves to it

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        >which ones?
        Honestly don't know. I just heard of games where enemies level up after killing you.
        Frick those bastards, they did it on purpose because you just need some decent programmer to elevate the game eith it, perfect for indies.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      How did you overlevel early? I just finished a replay and spent most of it desperately trying to catch up to the chieftans' level, doing every side objective

  14. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >had a super badass unique captain
    >made him my bodyguard
    >had him lead the charge on several seiges
    >epic times, best bro
    >during a random seige my camera suddenly flies across the field to see my best bro captain, getting his fricking head ripped off by MY OWN BERSERKER
    and thats how I found out berserkers can apparently actually go berserk and fricking rape your own guys, I shamed that Black person so god damn hard and had a graug chomp him, I wish I could've done more,

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      During the Blackman DLC, my hired bodyguards kept getting killed mysteriously. Then I noticed that my one surviving bodyguard had very high levels, higher than my PC. Turns out he had some "enraged by cowardice" trait that caused him to snipe friendlies. Their definition of cowardice was very liberal too, getting hit by once by whatever they were weak to was enough for the crazy homie to turn. He went through 5 friendly kills and could solo the final room himself.

  15. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >"Talion, forget about that baboon and get back to the palantir"
    what the frick was up with celebrimbor

  16. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >Summons drake and rampages across region for absolutely no reason

  17. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    what a fricking waste shelob was man, steals the ring from celebrimbor and talion because its powerful and shit, then spends the rest of the game hiding in the cave doing NOTHING until Sauron is like "oh really? that b***h I fricked then dumped on the side of the road has a cool ring? ok cool, I'll just send my lackeys to frick her up and bring it back", then we have to save her pathetic ass and she gives us the ring, WHILE ACTING AS IF SHE'S DOING US A FAVOUR, AS IF SHE'S GIFTING US THE RING FOR SAVING HER YOU FRICKING prostitute ITS OUR RING WE MADE IT WE MADE IT ITS OOOUUURRRS THE WHOLE GAME WE UNCOVER YOUR MEMORIES IT SEEMED LIKE YOU WERE PLANNING A REVENGE AGAINST SAURON BUT WHEN YOU HAVE THE POWERFUL RING YOU DO NOTHING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A WALKING MCGUFFIN TO SEND TALION TO THE NEXT QUEST OVER AND OVER QUEST HE FRICKING TREATS YOU LIKE A SHRINK EVERYTIME HE NEEDS HELP YOU GIVE HIM A DAMN BRAINGASM AND BOOM NEXT QUEST THAT'S ALL YOU DO THIS IS SHELOB? THE GREATEST OFFSPRING OF THE UNGOLAINT ARE YOU. FRICKING. KIDDING. ME

  18. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    The fact she doesn't have an in game model and instead all her appearances are in prerendered cutscenes is criminal.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      im surprised to hear that they didn't actually use Stoya, and Shelob was entirely self crafted, I guess they must've paid her for her likeness or something at least because they obviously had a couple stoya pics lying around when modelling shelob

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Damn who's this and does she do orn

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        Stoya. She does.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      ?si=he2T2XMlb24H2iLs

  19. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    There any other games that let me teleport to a far away enemy and cut their heads off instantly?

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Dishonoured is pretty good at that

  20. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    These chucklefricks really went through the troubles of deviating as hard as they did from LoTR, then decided to force this moronation to try and fit the canon? I don't care if it's not canon; let me have the option of dominating Sauron and all of Middle Earth.

  21. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Sauron wasn't even wrong, frick elves and their gay mary sue gods

  22. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I hated how they barely called the elf chick out for being a teamkilling fricktard

  23. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    This is a fun sandbox game for when you just wanna brutally kill some nobodies. Flying the dragon was cool too I'll play any game if it let's you fly a dragon in it.

  24. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Can't I? Hold my palantir.

  25. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Don't tell me what to do Celebrimbor. It's your fault Suaron has the Ring in the first place, you dumbass Black person.

  26. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    man I really wanted to like the second game but it was getting too arcade-y for a cinematic game. when you enter missions it would suddenly transport you somewhere or have you go through some menus all the time. even the side missions constantly reset the area and placed you somewhere else. I didn't like how immersion breaking it all was besides how it wasn't that different from the first game aside from sieges.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      >CIA gayops simulator
      >a cinematic game.
      ???

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        <masonic murder simulator has inconsistent logic
        mkultra doesnt care

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        it is basically a bamham game with the nemesis system.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      For sure the first had a gritty atmosphere

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        >first game had a gritty atmosphere
        It had a much simpler and better premise with the introduction of Tallon and Celebrimbor, their power levels werent as big so everything initially felt menacing. the 2nd one just makes them a powerhouse character from the very beginning of it. I really liked the colosseum scene in shadow of war but narration wise it made it apparent that there was going to be nothing in the game which could stop them besides sauron himself. the grittiness just fell apart as there were no threats.

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          Meant more graphic wise. But I yeah the arena speech was golden. Angry Senator Armstrong

  27. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >Spends her entire questline casting doubt on Celebrimbor and manipulating Talion into not trusting him
    >Takes Celebrimbor up on his offer of becoming his host without a second thought after a needless break up she instigated
    Two faced b***h ruined everything, and she got away with it scot free. Talion got corrupted, Celebrimbor got soul vored, and she loses two fingers (That are replaced with light magic because of course they are).

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      >Celebrimbor got soul vored
      he comes back after the one ring is destroyed. why did the elf b***h not destroy the other ring but decide to instead parlay with Celebrimbor as a sequel bait is absolutely moronic.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Accurate portrayal of an elven woman.

  28. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    CHRISTOPHER MY SON

  29. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >is the best representation of an elf ever in fiction
    how did he do it?

  30. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Why was he so yappy in the second game?
    In the first one it was bearable but in the second one he just lost it

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      because WE NEED THE GODDAMN FRICKING PALANTIR AND WITHOUT IT WE CANNOT DEFEAT SAURON BECAUSE UHHHH...

  31. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I will frick the stoya spider and theres nothing you can do about it you knife eared homosexual, now forge me a wiener ring to frick them all

  32. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I can't unheard Armstrong whenever Calibrimbor speaks. it feels like he is going to go on a rant about nanomachines any minute now

  33. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Why did she turn into a fricking ugly woman ffs she was hotter as a spider

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Elaborate

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Ganker with the correct priorities

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      As a spider she's supposed to smell extremely bad

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        wat?

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