>the wolf population is plummeting because a widow asks every new adventurer passing through town to kill 5 wolves for her for a monetary reward

>the wolf population is plummeting because a widow asks every new adventurer passing through town to kill 5 wolves for her for a monetary reward
>when questioned she explains how wolves killed her husband and she holds a grudge
How does your party respond?

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  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >druids offer the PCs a reward to kill the woman because the population of deer is exploding and causing the forests to die

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      No evidence druids exist in this setting

      She should use the mountain of reward money that she is using to pay off the army of wolf hunters, to instead pay for a ressurection spell for her husband.

      No evidence of resurrection magic existing in this setting

      https://i.imgur.com/fcT1EQK.jpeg

      >the wolf population is plummeting because a widow asks every new adventurer passing through town to kill 5 wolves for her for a monetary reward
      >when questioned she explains how wolves killed her husband and she holds a grudge
      How does your party respond?

      The correct course of action is to kill all of the woods. Ecosystems are a literal meme made to shame men out of hunting, further plummeting testosterone and increasing reliance on factory farms

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        You're moronic, but you're also based so I admire you regardless.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >low int
          >high wis

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >low int
            >low wis
            >no cha
            ftfy

            • 1 week ago
              Anonymous

              Incorrect.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        >wipes out ecosystems in a fake alpha male frenzy
        >men of the next gen can't hunt anymore
        >same result
        this is why Christianity is based, and this pagan mentality of manhood leads either to coombrain harems or homosexuality

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          Christianity views untamed wilderness as the domain of the devil and encourages the destruction of ecosystems in order to domesticate the wilds for the purpose of agriculture and bring it into the light of God, you fricking heretic.

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            Unequivocally false. As much as 20 to 25% of Iceland was forested before it was settled by pagan Vikings. They razed the forests to the ground. Slash and burn agriculture was the standard since the neolithic.

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            You know that isn't true.

            • 1 week ago
              Anonymous

              I hear it from LARPagans and militant vegans all the time so who knows. They think one verse in Genesis about God granting Adam and Eve "dominion" over the earth makes them uniquely disposed to environmental destruction. Meanwhile in real life Polynesians were completely deforesting their islands too.

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                Dominion isn't freedom from responsibility, though. Man presumes to render judgment, Man must live with the consequences of his wisdom. Or lack thereof.

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            In Georgia or Serbia, i dont recall which anymore, Orthodox Christian countries, it is said wolves howl in mourning when a monk dies. to me it seems like you learned about Christianity from Warhammer 40k, and either some far right zealot Protestant/Presbyteran source, or from far right groyper Catholic internet memes.

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          >slave morality

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        >No evidence druids exist in this setting
        Frick you. I'm playing a druid. I'm going to have Wild Shape sex with every single wolf to bolster the wolf population.

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          >sex with every single wolf to bolster the wolf population.
          That's not going to help as much as you think it is.

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          Before or after you make the widow to take the knot?

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          There is no evidence you exist.
          For all we know this entire site could be nothing but AI bots b***hing at each other.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        No evidence that you are anything but a moronic homosexual. The druids and meme writers that do exist in the setting leave you wanking off in your pile of feces, kill the dumb b***h you created and piss in your face before they leave the scene. You beg them for more, but they're already gone.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        Yuro hands typed this.
        If you were American you would know people who hunt are some of the most active conservationists

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          not in Germany. hunters and farmers seethe all the time about the greens reintroducing some 200 wolves in germany (estimated). hard to blame them. not only is germany very densely populated, but unlike centralized countries like France, they dont have clear cut divisions between city, village, and wilderness. no place for wildlife to grow unless it's small or prey or both.

          >slave morality

          the master morality romans literally had too few kids to exist by the time Augustus came around, and the master morality greeks had sex with boys as a literal rite of passage. master morality leads to coombrainedness, shortsightedness, and homosexuality. closest emulation of master morality today are american football teams and they are extremely homosexual.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      >Be a werewolf barbarian
      >Sigh and tell the party and druid I'll help with the wolf population
      >Tell DM I refuse to go into details.

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    If your GM is really giving you "bring me 10 bear asses" quests, I really pity you.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      It sounds more like the GM is trying to be le wackee metagay with giving them a quest ABOUT "fetch me 5 dire boar penises" quests

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      But is the GM specifying that only 1 in 4 bears has an ass to loot? This is important.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        obviously only 25% of bears have S rank asses that are acceptable for the client

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          It seems perfectly reasonable once you realize that the actual quest is to satisfy the client's weird kink, and of course he can't get off to some mediocre asses. However, I'm a bit disturbed that you can sometimes gain 2 asses from the same bear.

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    She should use the mountain of reward money that she is using to pay off the army of wolf hunters, to instead pay for a ressurection spell for her husband.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      >Does this
      “Actually they were coyotes”

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        TCD

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        they can't keep getting away with it

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      What if it's not a mountain though. What if she just turns the collectef pelts into coatsy which she sells to just about make up her cost of living and the cost of hiring adventurers.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        Then it sounds less like she's getting revenge on her husband and more like she's just running a wolf coat business.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      She doesn't have any money. It is spontaneously generated in your inventory when you complete the quest.

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I ask the wolves how much they're paying to kill widows.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Economics!

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I already know my players would immediately think "hmm, you've been paying ALL the adventurers? damn, you must be loaded.
    Instead of putting ourselves in danger killing a pack of wolves, for a smaller reward, let's just threaten her for her entire hoard of money."

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Turn the widow into a wolf and marry her to a new wolf husband.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      INTELIGO VIM.
      I suspect vampyre, the masqurade shenanigans!

      THIS MAN has a SENSE of JUSTICE!

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    frick wolf, kill widow, eat gold

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The Turkish way of doing it.

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    awoo

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >How does your party respond?
    We restrain her in the woods so the wolves can use her body to replenish their numbers. Justice.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      By eating her, right?

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous
    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      based

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        what game?

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          degrees of lewdity

  10. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Kill the woman and feed her meat to wolf cubs.

  11. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Kill the woman, loot her house, kill the wolves for their pelts. More money and xp that way.

  12. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Are wolves really that bad?

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Wolves are a base component to craft dogs.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      During both World Wars, wolf populations went unchecked in Europe and Northern Asia. This, combined with ecological pressures, led to them hunting humans. The favored loan passers, the wounded, and corpses. This was bad enough in WW1 that Germany and Russia declared a temporary truce due to all the people being killed and eaten by wolves.

      In the Russian far east during WW2, a lack of weapons and ammunition (due to the war need) led to an epidemic of children being eaten as local wolf populations realized that their local humans were now almost defenseless and incapable of effective retaliation. Returning veterans eventually pogrommed the local population.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        'Lone pissers,' fricking autocorrect.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        Oh, and I almost forgot: during the 30 Years' War, parts of the HRE+Austria-Hungary were so anarchic that packs of wolves were attacking and eating people for years. Point is: wolves can and will eat people when they think they can get away with it. They prefer women and children, but know how to select male prey. You didn't think millennia of killing of wolves all across the planet was based on whimsy or caprice, did you?

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          There's also the Beast of Gevaudan, which was admittedly a freak incident around which there are many sensationalized elements. Your basic point remains, though. Most modern people have no idea what it's like to live cheek to cheek with other apex predators, and they're quick to parrot the (false) line that they don't like eating people. Where predators (all animals, really) avoid humans, it is because we have applied a massive selective pressure such that daring to harm a human is death. Death for you, death for your mate, death for anyone who looks like you, until we run out of yous or we lose interest. Where this is not true, large predators still prey on humans occasionally, no matter what smug, condescending foreigners might want to tell the friends and family of the victims.

          And don't neglect that in pre-modern times, even parasitism on human flocks was deadly serious for people. Starvation was never far from body or mind before pretty recent times even in civilized countries. You could not afford to lose sheep to wolves. Or egg-laying birds to vermin like fox and coyotes, for that matter.

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            this sounds like westoid homosexualry. all sorts of eastern peoples have kept their wolves around, use them even in heraldry, or their heraldry-equivalent. they didn't starve

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        >loan passers
        what did he mean by this

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          Either he mean Lone Passers By, Lone Pissers, or those who provide loans, likely of that one faith.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        pfft, if you get eaten by a fricking wolf you deserve to die, you got 100 pounds on them at least. (50 if your a euro manlet)

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          IDK man they got some pretty mad chompers.

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            pfft, if you get eaten by a fricking wolf you deserve to die, you got 100 pounds on them at least. (50 if your a euro manlet)

            They are also quite large

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          100 pounds on 3-5 wolves all attacking you at once in flanks and from ambush isn't going to help very much anon.

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            speak for yourself.

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          Wolf size varies a lot, and they can get pretty huge:

          [...]
          They are also quite large

          American timber wolves have pretty massive bite force, as well. Bone-breaking force, for a human. And they're tricky group hunters who use a lot of the same tricks as humans (distraction wolf to set up ambushes and pursuit-to-exhaustion being a couple).

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Yes. They're the stereotypical villain creatures eating kids and old people out alone after dark in old lore for a reason.
      The concept of wolves as relatively 'noble' is a TV era concept. They were considered personifications of evil by people who actually lived around them, which is how they became symbols of prowess, war masks, etc.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        >The concept of wolves as relatively 'noble' is a TV era concept
        They had TVs in 1894?

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          >an englishman in the heart of modern civilization uses a mild twist to kick off his myth
          Think 1200s since you're a contrarian.

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            Best I can give you is 11th-12th century A.D. for the statue. The story it represents goes back to at least 270 B.C.. The wolf was also Mars' sacred animal.

            • 1 week ago
              Anonymous

              >The wolf was also Mars' sacred animal.
              The wolf hint wasn't enough alone for you, but even adding Mars didn't clue you in to what this was symbolizing about the nature of Romulus and Remus and subsequently the character of Roman civilisation? Feral children saved by a river, nurtured at the teats of pack violence, deciding the city's foundation by murder, kidnapping the Sabine women to breed, and forging a nation legendary for organized violence and roads?

              You're a hylic. I'm sorry but myths aren't your competency.

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                I doubt highly that the Romans thought of themselves as being, in Anon's words, "personifications of evil". They regarded the wolf as noble, and the concept of the relatively noble wolf existed thousands of years before TV. It's not a "new" idea.

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                >I doubt highly that the Romans thought of themselves as being, in Anon's words, "personifications of evil"
                Or the Mongols, Baltics, Iranics, Ainu, Chechens, Georgians, Dacians, Serbians, Nas'kapi, Squamish, The Netsilik Inuit, Takanaluk-arnalu and Dena'ina.
                Point is, the Wolf as a Positive Figure is much older than TV, for a given view of positive.

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                >achchually the Romans myths existed to insult their own civilization
                Not sure if decent bait or advanced brain damage

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                >pack violence
                >insulting
                Your modernity is showing. It's a symbol of power, and therefore inherently respectable, but not a symbol of benevolence. Think pirates flying a skull flag. Romulus and Remus could never have been raised by a stork, raven, or cow.

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                >herp derp, the guys that literally invented casus belli as a concept were le based psychos
                Bait it is, then.

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                >organizing violence is le psycho
                Yep, you're too trapped in modernity to understand any other culture.

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                The Romans organized violence and set out rules for when and how it could be applied. Not exactly, to reiterate the point, something that makes them seem like the "personification of evil".

                The idea that wolves are always evil and that the "noble wolf" is an invention of the TV era, is itself an invention of the reddit era. The fact of the matter is that conceptions of wolves varied from place to place and time to time just as much as any other wild animal.

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                you're too reasonable for Ganker. go away with your brain intact

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                >Think pirates flying a skull flag
                Is the field black or red? This is way more important than any other designs on the flag.

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                I really don't get why anyone ever did piracy under a red flag, it seems like such a fricking stupid idea.

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                These videos should sum it up. Short version is that it's all about branding and that piracy is a risk/reward job just like any other.

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                why?

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous
              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                I'm colorblind, what does green flag mean?

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                your joke doesn't work because the text/caption are connected just fine and explains it all

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                >Your modernity is showing.
                >Think pirates flying a skull flag.
                What do you get out of pretending to be moronic on the internet?
                >inb4 merely pretending

              • 1 week ago
                Anonymous

                >Feral children
                >nurtured at the teats of pack violence
                >blah blah blah
                How stupid do you have to be to believe people won't see through your stupid comments? The twins were found by a shepherd as infants, nursed by his wife, and raised in his household. The she-wolf in that story was relatively noble.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        Lions are similar. So are tigers and crocs.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        Moreso that they would eat farmers chickens and livestock rather than actually threaten humans. Wolves do not and have not preyed on humans except in unusual circumstances

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        >The concept of wolves as relatively 'noble' is a TV era concept
        Romulus and Remus were raised by a wolf, and many Turks trace their foundation to a she-wolf. These stories are created and retold to glorify their ethnic origins, not degrade them.
        Wolves may have had an antagonistic relationship with humans, but it's not like their actions made them evil or wretched. Their pack mentality means that they do get romanticized as honorable, and the fact that some of them became dogs is a sign that we weren't always enemies with them.

  13. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >when questioned
    Would never have happened so we would not have needed a response.

  14. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The British had exterminated wolves from the Island years before Paris was besieged by a pack of wolves, she's right to want every single one of them culled

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Paris was besieged by a pack of wolves
      Based wolves.

  15. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    Can't you read? The men are culling the wolves because a woman told them to.

  16. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Rape the window on the spot.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Freudian slip?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        everything reminds me of her, bros

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          ?si=dQtTvU94R1AFU3mX

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        this guy just had a picture of a frickable window on the ready

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          He knows what he's about.

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          I'll be honest: I searched 'sexy window' and found some art website with a series of French photos like that.

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            Freudian slip?

            How down BRUTAL do you have to be to even see this?

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            what a bawd

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        This is not what it looks like

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          You're right, I though the guy was lying sideways along the hammock.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        almost as patrician a fetish as tiles

  17. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Wolves are cringe so I support her.

    This post is brought to you by the fox lobby.

  18. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    We make an elaborate plan to turn us all into wolves so that the strongest fighter among us can beat the pack leader, marry (read, frick) the alpha b***h. We then repeat until all local wolf clans are unified under our leadership.
    Finally, we move the wolf population somewhere else and go back to tell the widow that she'll never again have wolf problems.
    We now have a small unit of wolves under our command as well as the widow's reward.

  19. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    "That's not how GMing works"

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      "Shut up and bite my plot hooks you nasty little player"

  20. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    That quest canonically only happened once, for the particular party which is currently running through the campaign.

  21. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Well. It seems like I have no choice.
    I'll have to wildshape into a wolf and help them repopulate.

  22. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    TWD

  23. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >plot twist her husband was a wolf

  24. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    My current party would get the druid to shapechange everyone into wolves and rape her to death. Then they’d poison all the wolves in the area. Then the Paladin would argue with me for 25 minutes about he shouldnt fall because of what he did

  25. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >How does your party respond?
    "If you have the money now, we can kill even more wolves for a commiserate increase in pay. If you have any special requests on how to kill them, we can do that for a negotiable additional fee."

  26. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    then hunt more dear to compensate.

  27. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Not at all, because this is way below our pay grade, we have bigger fish to fry and getting rid of wolves is actually beneficial for the region because it means more game within the forest.

  28. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    https://ffxiv.consolegameswiki.com/wiki/All_Dogs_Go_to_Hell

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      That writing is awful. That's now the one and only thing I know about that game, and I'm already ashamed of people that play it.

  29. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    They assume that she is a wolf goddess in disguise, seeking power over the wolf domain by eliminating all of her husband's ancient breed from the land.

    >One of my players accepts, hoping to have sex with her afterward despite being a visibly 50+ years old hag.
    >Another is preparing sacrifices to absolve this crime against the animal pantheon, which does not actually exist.
    >A third is preparing suckers to make him disgustingly wealthy by exploiting the impending total ecological collapse.
    >The fourth presumably reacts as well, but his player is on his phone for 90% of the game so I can't say how.

    T. nogames

  30. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Wait a second, money for wolves?
    I've heard this story before.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perverse_incentive
    We'll need to buy some cages and a lot of meat.

  31. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >How does your party respond?

    Find somebody in town willing to give out a "kill 5 widows" quest. It'll balance itself out eventually.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Try asking a wolf.

  32. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Is the widow hot?

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      What this guy said, this is important information that will affect my decision.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        YEAH! I'm playing as a dumb fighter that like dark hair gloomy looking women and if this hag wants dead wolves I'm giving her them and then using everything to frick her.

  33. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    i capture a wolf and use the widow to breed more wolves

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Results have been mixed.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        hell yeah i knew playing in a predominately white european setting would have it's advantages

  34. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >How does your party respond?
    Frick wolves bro, predators that are bold enough to pick off humans. Frick the wilds, this is fantasy land vaguely medieval Europe, we don't have time to be worrying about namby pamby shit like this.
    The Widow is doing a community service.

    Also do you know how many adventurers that "normal' wolves have killed? It's a fricking lot.

  35. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I love how this is basically just the "Wolf" thread.

  36. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I right click on all of the wolves with bones

  37. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Rape woman, rape wolves, rape dead husband
    rape new adventurer

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      I Believe In A Thing Called Love

  38. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    My knowledgeable wizard begins lecturing her on the the dangerous widespread trophic cascade she has triggered that will doom the kingdom her husband swore to fight and die for. So all she is doing is insulting her husband and risking her life to destroy everything. He begs her to stop and turn back from such a dark and evil path and warns such ways only lead to ruin as he foretells in a prophesy.

    If she fails to change we head to the capital to inform the mister of interior about her actions. And offer our services to eliminate her for a modest fee as she will rightly be branded as an enemy of the kingdom with a sizeable bounty negotiated by our archer who basically a Ferengi with a magic bow. When then go back to fulfill the prophesy of my wizard by executing her and make some money off the whole scheme.

    If the mister of interior fails to act we go out to the country side to inform the people being hurt by her actions and ignite a bloody rebellion, with us as weapons dealers helping to off load all the low and mid grade stuff we been stacking up for ages. As the mister of interior who speaks for the king (who didn't pay us last time for our Prophesy Protection℠ services) doesn't care for his people and they must act now to save themselves.

    Our group runs Pharaoh's Destiny® a Prophesy Protection℠ service.
    "Prophesies only come true if you want them to!"
    Our knowledge on Prophesy is the best in the industry (given almost nobody else does it).
    Mostly because we make it happen, but occasionally we get accidentally hired to deal with a real one where the GM goes nuts.

  39. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Sounds like she has a lot of money, so we would just rob her. We can even justify it by saying that we did it to prevent her from destroying the ecosystem.

  40. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    You say frick the wolves
    I say Frick the wolves.
    we are not the same.

  41. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    No, the wolves respawn, like all mobs. This doesn't happen.

  42. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I hire other adventurers to kill five widows until it balances out and the ecosystem recovers

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