>watched someone else play Dark Messiah. >she loved it so much more than Oblivion, Skyrim and Dark and Darker

>watched someone else play Dark Messiah
>she loved it so much more than Oblivion, Skyrim and Dark and Darker
>had a lot of fun with kicking enemies off cliffs, who gave a very funny Waaaaaah- scream
>and just in general had fun playing around with the physics system
>liked Xana and also was excited about freeing Demon Dad from prison to have a family
>couldn’t believe the game came out in 2005
>rated it as one of her favorite games

This proves that the game is a GOAT and not all of the negative things game journalists say about it.

  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    can't play this on steam because it lacks achievements

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      you're a literal waste of space human being

      go jump off a bridge nobody would care

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      achievements are literally microtransaction level cancer shit

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      you're a literal waste of space human being

      go jump off a bridge nobody would care

      achievements are literally microtransaction level cancer shit

      What the hell? Who the fuck needs achievements? Things like speedrunning, ironman runs, no-hit runs and other challenge runs existed before achievements. You literally lack a soul, if you need achievements.

      [...]
      Because you're both zoomer parasocial fuckjobs and it's obvious. Cut it out with the eceleb bullshit you have a whole board for that.

      [...]
      Fucking losers

      It‘s just fun seeing a game you love being played by a young mind, who experiences it for the first time. And there is no e-celeb board. I only watched her, because she is funny af on sodapoppin‘ stream. Actually more entertaining than him. I otherwise refuse to watch female e-celebs.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >And there is no e-celeb board
        >>>/vt/
        Get the fuck out

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I don’t like vtubers though, so what should I do there?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >It‘s just fun seeing a game you love being played by a young mind, who experiences it for the first time. And there is no e-celeb board. I only watched her, because she is funny af on sodapoppin‘ stream. Actually more entertaining than him. I otherwise refuse to watch female e-celebs.
        Holy fucking cringe never admit to any of this ever again fucking weirdo

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You want steam achievements because you lack any real life achievements.

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Yeah it's brilliant. All anyone ever wanted was Skyrim to get this right and they just can't because Bethesda sucks ass.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Skyrim could never have gotten it so right because it's not a linear action game.
      Dark Messiah is more Jedi Knight than Elder Scrolls, the only thing they have in common are the theming with swords and sorcery.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Skyrim
        >Non-linear
        The vast majority of the action in Skyrim takes place in corridors.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          And they still have to account for having free exploration which means you can't put as much effort and care into designing locations, let alone the encounters in them.
          Dark Messiah is super focused. You don't have to account for leveled monsters, leveled loot, money, players approaching from different directions or anything like that. It's all about the encounters that are specifically designed to be as fun as possible.

          Oh, and it's not an RPG. You get power ups at specific spots and through finding secrets.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >which means you can't put as much effort and care into designing locations, let alone the encounters in them.
            Not like Bethesda did that anyway!

            >it's not an RPG
            It's barely an RPG, just like Skyrim.

            >You get power ups at specific spots and through finding secrets
            pic unrelated

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              I mean, if you call Dark Messiah an RPG then Jedi Knight is one too because it has the exact same system for powering your character up.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Roughly as much of an RPG as Skyrim is.

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Something I hate about it is how bullet spongy the flying jellyfish are on hard

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Whats with the DM threads lately, did some youtube homosexual make a video about it?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The year is 2023 AD. Lots of younger e-celebs are of age and have established themselves now well enough with an even younger audience that they turn to variety streaming and play old games before their time for streaming content.

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Yeah Vei is fun and dumb

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      What the fook? She played it two weeks ago. How the fuck did you know I was actually talking about her?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Because I watched her play it for a bit too. And she was probably the only female who played the game in last 5 years who you could observe.
        I also enjoyed watching her play Gothic 1&2.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Surely there are other female e-celebs who play it tho. No, I think you are following me.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            women don't get exposed to good games unless their bf forces them to play them

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Haha true
              same here

              >the e celeb I simp for said it was great so that proves it was great
              wow I won't be giving this game a shot because it obviously attracts retards like you

              I forbid you from ever playing this game! You are my slave! You have to follow my commands! Do not play the game. Ever.

              >Why is this bad game not something people are aping
              >Logically they would ape it if it sucks
              Based coomrotted moron

              What does aping mean?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Im a...i lived a lot
        Support starcraft broodwar

        [...]
        Fucking losers

        [...]
        Because you're both zoomer parasocial fuckjobs and it's obvious. Cut it out with the eceleb bullshit you have a whole board for that.

        Nah, she has a weird/dork voice and listens to good music
        Streaming is just a fcking radio

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      What the fook? She played it two weeks ago. How the fuck did you know I was actually talking about her?

      Because you're both zoomer parasocial fuckjobs and it's obvious. Cut it out with the eceleb bullshit you have a whole board for that.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      What the fook? She played it two weeks ago. How the fuck did you know I was actually talking about her?

      Fucking losers

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      What the fook? She played it two weeks ago. How the fuck did you know I was actually talking about her?

      Yeah talk about your streamer naggers you gay children

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's ok. Yeah, it's fun to kill guys in unique ways, but combat still feels janky at times. And there isn't anything remarkable about the rest of the game

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Actually play might and tragic (unlike 99% of the posters here)
    >Combat boils down to 1 shotting via ice, 1 shotting via kick, 1 shotting via stab in heart or 1 shotting via weapon special
    >You get a magic regen boost like 5 mins in which makes hp effectively infinite (so you can infinitely undo all the poison damage you get which has finite cures for some reason)
    >Combat is literally never a threat or challenge, you just walk over everything as nothing stands a chance at all
    >Later on your sword also becomes so strong it near instakills with basic slashes
    >The only enemies you have to think at all for are sp- actually staff instakill move doesn't go into an animation v spiders, so every tick of it instantly kills all spiders on contact
    >Story is boring as hell, yada yada yada, you're're're're're're the special one, woweth, only got a pass because of horny self-inserters
    Its exactly the kind of game I'd expect to catch on with people who haven't actually played it and realized how basic it is
    Every fight plays out the same from start to end thanks to how many of your tools make hp and enemy ai completely pointless

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I sure hope you're not implying M&M games are difficult.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        When the fuck did I mention the other games.
        I'm talking about this one.
        This particular game is a piss easy boring mess where you press at most 2 buttons to kill every single enemy

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Thats just because you already know the game. Normies get filtered quickly because hits take a lot of health and blocking doesnt always work

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Ah yes. I was waiting for you. The cynic.
      Tell me. If Dark Messiah (you don‘t call it Might & Magic to not confuse it with the cRPG series or the strategy games) is so bad allegedly or does so many things just average, then why is it literally the only game of its kind, except it’s spiritual predecessor from the same gaming studio?
      Tell me right now and it better be a good argument.

      I sure hope you're not implying M&M games are difficult.

      He‘s a retard. He didn’t mean the actual M&M games.

      >This game is the greatest of all time because I watched someone else enjoy it

      I played it more than enough to know almost everything about it.

      >It‘s just fun seeing a game you love being played by a young mind, who experiences it for the first time. And there is no e-celeb board. I only watched her, because she is funny af on sodapoppin‘ stream. Actually more entertaining than him. I otherwise refuse to watch female e-celebs.
      Holy fucking cringe never admit to any of this ever again fucking weirdo

      Why though? If you are passionate about games, you should be also happy about other people playing your favorite game and enjoying it.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Why is this bad game not something people are aping
        >Logically they would ape it if it sucks
        Based coomrotted moron

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      none of what you said is true. even if it was, it wouldn't matter. the game is fun because it has kino atmosphere, hot bitches with big tits, and campy humor. not to mention the biggest draw in terms of gameplay is exploration and uncovering secrets. only a gay nagger plays this and comes away with resentment over the fucking combat of all things, which is still some of the best first person sword and board gameplay you can get. Dark Messiah is basically a first person Zelda with tits, and it's awesome. you're a homosexual.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        t. didn't play the game
        Unironically if you don't think the fast mp regen, ice slide 1 shot and kicking all being so op they make enemies overly trivial aren't things

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          actually i've played it on both PC and 360 and all of your complaints are the result of being a no fun allowed homosexual with a tiny dick. nobody gives a fuck about "UH ACKSHUALLY CHUD THE MANA REGEN RATE RUINS THE GAMEPLAY BALANCE" or whatever you're moaning about. all that matters is the game being lighthearted fun.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I don't agree with many of these specific criticisms but I do think people oversell the shit out of DMoMM, especially when it's as a vehicle to criticise TES (for who knows what reason, considering they're not at all similar). Couldn't believe how anemic the combat was after reading people big it up so much for so long. The feedback on attacks is exactly the same as in TES too, barring enemies arbitrarily ragdolling when you kick them if they happen to be within a certain distance of spikes or a ledge. It's still decent, but easily the weakest game Raphael Colantonio's directed.

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >she
    stopped reading there

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >This game is the greatest of all time because I watched someone else enjoy it

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >she

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >the e celeb I simp for said it was great so that proves it was great
    wow I won't be giving this game a shot because it obviously attracts retards like you

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Dark Messiah has:
    >Better characters
    >Better story
    >Better melee combat
    >Better ranged combat
    >Better stealth system
    >Better spell casting
    >Better interactive environments
    >Better traps
    >Better secrets
    >More interesting item design
    >Better bosses
    >Better enemy mechanics
    >Better class system
    >Better talent system/choices
    >More engaging crafting
    >Better platforming / movement
    >Better level design
    than Skyrim. Why the FUCK would I every want to do 100 absolute garbage tier quests when I can have a finely crafted one.

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    This just proves whoever you watched has dogshit taste, and so do you. Game is a 6/10 if I'm being generous.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      How come no one has replicated it? Or not even attempted it?
      Maybe you got filteted.

      Dark Messiah has:
      >Better characters
      >Better story
      >Better melee combat
      >Better ranged combat
      >Better stealth system
      >Better spell casting
      >Better interactive environments
      >Better traps
      >Better secrets
      >More interesting item design
      >Better bosses
      >Better enemy mechanics
      >Better class system
      >Better talent system/choices
      >More engaging crafting
      >Better platforming / movement
      >Better level design
      than Skyrim. Why the FUCK would I every want to do 100 absolute garbage tier quests when I can have a finely crafted one.

      Objectively correct opinion, anon.
      I hate open world goyslop. It‘s for plebians.
      Open world games with crafting elements are the penny dreadfuls of video games. Any literate person with an aristocratic soul hated them.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >didn't sell
        >didn't get good reviews
        >the multiplayer didn't take off
        >the game has no fans
        >nobody fucking cares
        >"How come no one has replicated it?"
        Yeah, who wouldn't want to replicate THAT level of success, amirite? lmoa

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          The Odysee or Bronze Age Mindset also aren‘t bestsellers. I don’t give a fuck about the average person, who has a peasant soul. Of course the best games aren’t games with mass appeal. We now know after a couple of decades that the most popular games are open world zogslop with crafting elements. Something people play to disperse their mind. Not actually intense experiences.

  14. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    played the game, had fun, but it's soooo fuckingggg SHOOORT

  15. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You know what.
    I tried to beat this twice, but got filtered both times (first was because hardcore is broken, second was at the dragon part). But I think it's time to give it another go.

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