Which Pokemon makes the best sexual partner for a human, objectively speaking?

Which Pokemon makes the best sexual partner for a human, objectively speaking?

  1. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Your Mother.

  2. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    If it can use hypnosis or attract, anything, you simply won't know better. Without attract, if you're male or female anything with a knot will be able to hit your G-spot as a matter of basic anatomy. Sylveon has a knot and access to Attract, making it the likely superior choice. However the prehensile penis of Milotic is also a suitable option, given it is long enough to eventually provide sufficient stretch no matter how loose an orifice is. As far as penetration is concerned, Hatterene has objectively the best vagina, while the best anus belongs to Umbreon, and the best mouth belongs to Lileep.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Milotic
      >penis
      Oarfishfuckers are delusional - send them to the infirmiary

  3. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Shapeshifters like Latias or Zoroark would have the most widespread appeal since they can transform into humans. Not far behind them would be humanlike ones like Gardevoir.

  4. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Pokemon can get humans pregnant and visa versa, regardless of egg group.

  5. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Vaporeon

  6. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Lopunny.

  7. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Deoxys for me

  8. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    The one you love the most.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Primarina
      >water typing facilitates a lean, lithe and muscular build with excellent conditioning
      >Fairy typing facilitates and heightens its emotional literacy to bond deeply and absolutely with its Partner
      Although and

      Whichever your favorite is.

      gave the second-best option.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Also this guy

        The one who you love, and who loves you back.

        . Keep being awesome lads.

  9. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    believe its canonically lapras, they actually had a book in USUM that said so lol, idk why Ganker never talks about it

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Wat

  10. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    In terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans. Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more

  11. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Y'all are retards just pick Ditto

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      lame answer

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      You're the kind of gay who answers a hypothetical "what would you wish for" question with "more wishes".

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Thread should've ended there.

  12. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Whichever your favorite is.

  13. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >God Tier
    Shapeshifters like ditto, mew, latias, zoroark (still counts because mammalian), etc

    >Great Tier
    Mammalian humanoids with conventionally attractive body types e.g. Lopunny, Braixen, Diggersby, Machamp, Medicham, gothitelle, gardevoir

    >Good Tier
    Neutrally attractive mammals or non-mammals that are especially attractive e.g. salazzle, infernape, tsareena, pheromosa, roserade, simipour

    >Ok tier
    Unattractive humanoids and attractive quadrupeds, anything with sufficient intelligence, exceptions which can use psychic powers to induce arousal e.g. snorlax, eeveelutions, jynx, milotic, etc

    >Bad Tier
    Everything else

    >Trash Tier
    Anything objectively infantile, anything without genitalia, or anything hazardous to copulate with e.g. smoochum, magcargo, muk, klinklang, magnemite

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Jynx
      >unattractive
      KWAB!

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Diggersby, Machamp, Medicham, gothitelle
        All these have suboptimal smash percent being below 50%. That's not attractive.

        Honestly if I'm being told that I have both overestimated and underestimated attractiveness, I'll assume I landed in the middle of reasonability. I'll take it

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          It's ok. Refer to pokesmash to see which Pokémon people find attractive.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Also went to look at their numbers, damn medicham has it rough lmao

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Diggersby, Machamp, Medicham, gothitelle
      All these have suboptimal smash percent being below 50%. That's not attractive.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Diggersby
      >conventionally attractive
      I'm pretty sure fat, bald old men are supposed to be unattractive.

  14. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Does wanting to fuck a pokemon make you a furry?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      If the pokemon in question has fur, yes.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      If the pokemon in question has fur, yes.

      Nothing except being involved in the furry fandom makes you a furry.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        wrong

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Hard to say. Someone like this

      [...]

      is 100% a furry, but he also doesn't want to fuck a pokemon.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      no, that makes you a pokephile

  15. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Ditto, objectively speaking.

  16. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    every pokemon that can be tutored in gen 1-3 can learn Mimic, and can therefore learn Transform, making Ditto obsolete
    Ditto is the lazy man's answer

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      It’s the best answer.
      You need a ditto for a Pokémon to mimic transform. It needs to be facing a ditto and will forget what it mimicked as soon as the battle is over.
      At that point, you’re just better off having a ditto and save both time and resources. There’s Mew but, it’s Mew.

      Or if you really must be that guy who’s just two intelligent you can use a smeargle.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Also once the ditto transformed first wouldn’t the Pokémon using transform just transform into itself?
        Or would it just transform into ditto?

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Also once the ditto transformed first wouldn’t the Pokémon using transform just transform into itself?
        Or would it just transform into ditto?

        >taking mechanics literally
        By this logic, you need another Pokemon for Ditto to transform into and at that point since you have that Pokemon right in front of you why do you need a weak imitation?

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Mimic and sketch are two seperate moves within this series and gives smeargle it’s known gimmick.
          It’s more than just a game mechanic, Mimic simply is not permanent. Sketch is. Otherwise Sketch has no point in it’s existence.

          Mechanic or not

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Ditto has also been seen in various media transforming outside of battle so you can already assume it’s something it’s naturally capable of. Though the fact that it already can breed with everything should’ve been your tip.

  17. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Objectively speaking, a humanoid, whether due to anatomical compatibility or simple common sense, there will surely be the contrarian who wants an Aggron, or a Milotic as a partner, but they will be limited to performing various activities, from simply entering a door, sitting on a a chair or holding hands, or in the human case not having the lung capacity to mate 1000 feet below the surface, or being able to support their body weight, choosing such incompatible mates would force you into exile from society for their well-being, and I am not yet touching on the legal, moral and ethical issues.

    The Eevolution are a popular option, but something that nobody contemplates is hygiene, these being quadrupeds are always in contact with the ground and all its dirt, you could put some boots on them, but sooner or later this will end up rubbing shit on your face, and not precisely theirs.

    That is the objective, being subjective, everyone has different tastes and everyone has the right to choose the path they decide.

  18. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Eeveelutions. All of them are ideal for repeatedly mounting females.

  19. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    The one who you love, and who loves you back.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      This. Though the real question is how does 'Sex' even work with Pokemon? Pokemon have biological sexes, so they must have sexual organs or something to denote what makes them bio sex male/bio sex female, but that doesn't mean they use those sexual organs or whatever sexual dimorphic qualities to reproduce..possibly.
      It might not be very enjoyable for a Human and Pokemon to have sex, depending on how their sexual organs work. Pokemon do have egg groups which might mean different sexual organs depending on the group? Food for thought.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Given one of the requests in Legends told a version of the Yuki-Onna myth with a human marrying a Froslass and having Snorunt with her, I don't think it's as freaky-deek as you want to think. Froslass is in Fairy/Mineral egg groups and they still inferred a human knocked her up twice.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          As far as I'm aware
          >having Snorunt with her
          This is not directly implied in that myth as no children are mentioned in any Journal entries AFAIR. At best there is an implication that the Froslass may have been the guys friend/wife/partner in human form though.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            The fact two Snorunt guide you to the journal pages and the Froslass carrying the rest of the entries mean it's a clear reference to the myths where the man fathers "children" on his Yuki-Onna wife.
            Let me tell you, the devs know their shit, when it comes to myths and legends from Japan they want to flesh out their world with and they deliberately chose to reference the version of the story, as everything added in Legends had its genesis in the Sinnoh myths and folktales DPPt introduced and BDSP re-iterated for the slow children. Why do all you spineless fuckers rage and attempt to deny that which is blatantly obvious?

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              Why do you keep clinging to your inanity? Pokémon is unapologetic when it comes to how it constructs Pokémon and wants people to perceive them as. A folk tale with no context doesn't change anything, verily so in Legends of Arkeos Soter there was nothing recalling that folk tale in the library and instead LoA put a hard, tangible divide between people and Pokémon since it was revealed that shrinking is an essential Pokémon trait. The froslass quest is vague in wording and the froslass lacks any agency thus the quest doesn't have much impact, people may be aware of the quest real inspiration but the quest itself doesn't structurally change anything about Pokémon, the froslass lack of agency means it has no impact at all. A few gags also don't threaten the structure Pokémon possess.

              Verily indeed, even the creator was very open about what Pokémon are in his very own biography. He openly states that Pokémon are like cats and dogs, essentially pets. This is a philosophy Pokémon is unapologetic towards and I don't need to rewrite the abundance of domestic animal imagery associated with Pokémon. In the end Pokémon are constructed to be perceived as pets first and foremost and cute critters as second, the series is structured around this fact and we have behind the scene sources openly stating it. Stop thinking the series bows to your little groomer fantasies.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                HEY YOU CAN'T SAY THAT, THAT'S SPECEISIST! POKEMON ARE EQUALS!

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Do not respond to the icefox

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        You see, all Pokémon have long pulsing penises and tight moist gripping vaginas but a certain group of people who mutilate baby penises have convinced much of the world that these parts of the human body should be treated as obscene or vulgar and that no one should be reminded of how they actually got here or they would remember that they are just animal like everything else.

        When Pokémon breed, it’s sex. it’s just that one massively insane belief has made certain groups think of sex and sexuality as evil and the human body as inherently sinful and spread that ideal across the world through violence.

  20. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Torterra

  21. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Shapeshifters are cheating because then you're not fucking the same pokemon, nor do you find attractive its previous form, you are fucking something else entirely...
    That's why I always put ditto in F tier

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Ditto is shit but I'd pick Zoroark for its own sake

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >he wouldn't a ditto
      shit taste

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Cheating.
      OP’s question asks what Pokémon it is OBJECTIVELY.

      Objectively, the answer is a Pokémon capable of transforming itself to become compatible, it’s not cheating when it’s the answer. It’s logic.
      Even Zoila/Zoroark isn’t a 100% option since it will just change back as soon as it’s touched.

  22. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    All male pokemon

  23. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Aggron of course

  24. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    Trade her tumours size for quantity and I'm fully content…

  25. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    None of them.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      I'll fuck your eye-navel for saying that

  26. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    HER

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >*nthr*
      🙁

  27. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    She dominates in all catagories.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Pleasantly surprised to see her popularity is that far-reaching.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Thankfully there's enough kitsune to go around for everyone.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          >walk into your apartment (which happens to be a cave)
          >see this
          >door closes on itself, and you hear a lock click
          wat do

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            I'd wonder why my cave apartment has a door in the first place.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Oh yeah, I got a regular shiny female and an alpha shiny female Ninetales in Legends too. Still looking an alpha shiny female Ponyta/Rapidash for the set of shiny Gen 1 firewaifus. No pics as I'm not fucked turning my Switch off completely to whip out the mem card (taking the raw data works better than posting through Switch).

  28. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    What is this thread?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      A celebration of the purest form of love.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      a lil mix of schizo type a
      a lil mix of schizo type b

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >schizo A
        >schizo B
        ???

  29. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    It's crawdaunt.
    >BUT MY GAR-
    Nope, it's crawdaunt.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >crawdaunt jerking you off

  30. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Zebstrika
    >electricity

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