Adam, son!

Adam, son!

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  1. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Jen, son!

  2. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Adaaam, remember how I used a loophole in your contract to cut off most of your body and fill the rest with over a billion dollars of augmentations?
    >I did it because I found out you were the GMO augmentation ubermench, son!
    >That, and I'm a transhumanist who gets off on this shit.
    >I have to wear a chastity cage to stop me popping a boner every time I think of you, Adam!

  3. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    HOW DID HE SURVIVE PANCHEA?

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous
      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        Why would they clone Sarif? Why didn't they clone William Taggart and Hugh Darrow?

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          A clone would have the correct blood type

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            Are you sure? Maybe it works differently in the Eidos Deus Ex games?

            • 10 months ago
              Anonymous

              A one for one genetic duplicate would not have different blood antigens. And at least as far as the Clone Jensen theory goes, MD Jensen is confirmed to be identical to HR Jensen because Pritchard did a DNA test on him.

              • 10 months ago
                Anonymous

                So what's the deal here? Body double? Why would the Illuminati need a Sarif body double?

              • 10 months ago
                Anonymous

                Well for one, TYM spent years trying to buy out Sarif Industries to complete the Illuminati's monopoly of the augmentation market and it might be easier to finalise that deal if one of the two CEOs involved didn't die in a hole in the ocean.

                Two, since Jensen is now an Illuminati clone plant, it might be useful to have someone he knows around in case he tries to contact old acquaintences.

              • 10 months ago
                Anonymous

                >it might be useful to have someone he knows around in case he tries to contact old acquaintences
                Oh yeah, that seems like a good reason.
                But, Pritchard is still alive. If Jensen asks Pritchard about Sarif, wouldn't Pritchard get suspicious of something? Like he of all people would probably know what actually happened to David so that makes Pritchard a big liability.

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          Didn't everyone in that big hole died?

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        Body double.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      augmented anal butthole butt with ability to extract metal submarine-robot-tank-helicopter

  4. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Unironically, David Sarif is one of the best depictions of an actual butthole boss in any media. He's just the right amount of polite-but-selfish.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      hes too likeable to be an butthole

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      talk about completely missing the point

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      how is he an butthole

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        amputated all of Adam's limbs ans made him a freak against his will

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          or saved his life and allowed to uncover the truth

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          to be fair it was that or adam was gonna die. it depends on how you respond how adam feels about that but it's a nice gesture of sarif to save his employee's life with a very costly procedure, even if he's doing it partially because he just loves the tech and wants to see it get used

  5. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I just realized the connection between DX:HR and Robocop

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      You never overheard the cops in the police station talking about the plot of robocop?

  6. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    The characters and story in these games fricking sucked, only the first game is good and its barely related to this modern snarky hipster millennial writing, no wonder they never finished it

  7. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >caring about the lore of a shitty French ripoff of an actually good game

    they didn't even care enough to finish it, gamers have such low standards for story and narrative its unreal

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      Lowest quality bait if I ever saw one.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah just call it bait and move on, you're obviously a fricking autistic dope with no standards

  8. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Adaaaam, son, you gotta do the thing for me Adam! We're all in this together Adam, so stop reading this post in my voice.

  9. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    THE FRUIT FLIES, ADAM

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      reminder that they dropped him because of a silly joke video

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        Reminder that they didn't and he's on record himself saying they offered him peanuts to do a tiny amount of work

  10. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    ?feature=shared
    Adam! Watch out for the fruit flies when you get to Panchea!

  11. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Did IIIIII.... interrupt something??

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      frick off pritchard, go jack off to shadowchild feet pics

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