ah yes her past mistakes of going to fricking atlantis and stopping biomutants from taking over the world
b***h can have a souvenir or three, these homies just hate white people
>WE WANT TO MAKE A GAME WITH MORALS!!!1! NO RACISM!!NO OBJECTIFYING!!!NO COLONIALISM!!! >*proceeds to make a TPS in which you kill one billion enemies*
It's not hypocrisy anymore, it's mental illness.
It was always mental illness. They just aren't trying as hard to hide it anymore because they've grown confident in their ability to manipulate others.
tbf I don't remember her doing a lot of raiding in the reboot trilogy either. She just got the shit kicked out of her a whole bunch, killed a lot of people and destroyed a lot of probably valuable ancient infrastructure from collateral damage during said killing sprees.
That sounds like an educational spinoff where Lara teaches you about all the random shit she found while exploring a Tomb.
The challenge is to not get bored and stare at her breasts.
And all of the raiders are hilariously white mustache twirling white colonialists. Lara has been race swapped to a mixed race or dark skinned lesbian who has struggled with the patriarchal, white supremacist society into which she was born.
This is her time, girls!
This is her time to fight the status quo!
TOMB DEFENDER: AVENGING QUEEN
Really weird how these people think anyone can claim "ownership" over culture to begin with. >NOOOO! You can't just take this ancient clay urn out of a burial site that nobody has set foot in for hundreds of years! We NEED these extravagantly large tombs to stay preserved! >Oh, by the way, we're moving our offices into an extremely cramped apartment complex because we're running out of room in the city to live. We don't have an unlimited amount of land on this planet, bigot.
>We NEED these extravagantly large tombs to stay preserved!
Lara is going to blow up almost all that shit in this next game. Only difference is that you might get a quick cutscene where Lara looks back and has a sad face at the lost history before she continues on and detonates another 15 barrels of explosives to take out some soldiers.
Crystal dynamics are in a race against capcom to see who the bigger moronic company is.
Only crystal dynamics hasnt even gotten on the special Olympics starting line yet because their too busy chewing on their shoe laces.
Seriously give these fricking idiots an award.
Remasters of 123 do incredibly well. Filter the frick out of zoomers and respect the original games - CD refuses to advertise the game till they got shit for it.
Modders remove the woke warning label - moronic homosexual that runs nexus bans mod and comes out as moronic.
Remasters do well and people want classic Lara back - CD - heres leon from RE4 as a troony cosplaying as lara. This is your new lara.
He’s horrified by someone grabbing his buddy and acting like Conan the barbarian as they brutally expose themselves during super violence. It does happen.
I've been reading about this, and this whole "the true custodians of the land" stuff is usually just total bullshit. The brits kept discovering shit in other peoples countries because the locals didn't care. There were entire buried civilizations underneath the feet of existing cities and they never dug down to find them. Even if they found them first the only difference is the british would've had to buy more of it instead because the locals just sell it.
>want to play a video game about annihilating aliems and getting rich? >NO THAT'S BAD I'll bet you'd love the same game if you taught them the power of using the "correct" pronouns and everyone claps
tl;dr current day-ing the sole appealing aspect of the series besides the jiggly pair of breasts which they're also going to cut in half because they were dropped on their heads as children. And they want this frankenIP they mutilated to sell? That drop was from a much higher position than any previous guess.
I'm sort of giddy with anticipation about how much more they will manage to frick up that IP, these revealing posts about how far gone they are mentally are such a tease really. How much of a man faced dyke will Lara look like? How much anti colonial masturbation will these freaks engage in while crying their eyes out when dictators like Putin also talk about western colonialism in their rallies? How much will the double mastectomies bite into her chest in virtue of protecting the feelings of sexually insecure femcels and mentally ill men in dresses?
So many question, so little fricks to give. I guess they want to lose even more money. I don't even know if embracer still has this IP or if they flushed it already. Whatever, laughs will be had and that's all that matters.
Lara first has to obtain permission from the host country to conduct a joint archeological dig. Of course, all recovered relics are property of the local government, but you can take pictures.
For realism, can they also feature local hawkers selling stolen cultural artifacts for peanuts, corrupt local officials pocketing research grant money and islamist groups blowing up world heritage sites?
well they can frick off then if you want to talk about neo colonialism address the hundreds of thousands of hindus and muslims from SE asia and Africa invading placed like Ireland and Germany, France and Sweden. Are we allowed shoot unwanted colonists from alien foreign cultures or is it just Africans and Indians who got praise for murdering unarmed foreign women and kids? Frick all wokes and frick crystal dynamics. Indians and Africans OUT OUT OUT
I love how the very fist paragraph is a strawman argument when the very first Tomb Raider wasn't about "finders keepers" but rather the prevention Jacqueline's plans to use the artifacts for nefarious purposes.
You ever notice that people always bring up indiana jones in these kinds of discussions but in every case he's just trying to beat other people to the punch and that's it's gonna get taken by someone worse otherwise? Oh yeah I'm sure the locals who're helping the villains dig up those artifacts were gonna take real good care of it.
It's such bullshit and pretty much spits in the face of anyone in the field of archeology.
They make it sound like UNESCO is going around plundering ancient relics or that the sarcophaguses in the Louvre arn't being well-maintained instead of being destroyed by Muslims for being actual Haram.
These homosexuals have such a lack of cultural awareness it transends moronation and borders on psychotic.
These people have the same ideology as the Chinese Red Guards that destroyed thousands of years of ancient Chinese history for the same reasons.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_Olds
How come video game bans and censorship was considered bad in the 90's but now it happens regularly and hardly anyone complains and some people actively celebrate it?
I always kind of liked that Lara was a c**ty, toff b***h who was essentially a murderous grave robber who didn't give a shit because Rule Britannia or something.
She was basically a fricking awful person and that was kinda fun.
They want to make her le super serious deep heroine who presses Y to not get raped these days though.
There’s really no easy way to make that game into a vehicle for political activism & the series sales hinges on appeasing old fans so it's more than likely a dead ip.
but it's ok if the natives 'raid' their own deserted ruins and sell it to a local warlord (which happens 99% of the time except for late 19th and early 20th century British/American/French/euro explorers)
>respect to the aztek
>play football with human skulls
>human sacrifice
I'll call racism if she doesn't rip someone's heart out on the alter.
who gives a bloody frick what they think or are going to do, this is the equivalent of a think piece in a newspaper
ah yes her past mistakes of going to fricking atlantis and stopping biomutants from taking over the world
b***h can have a souvenir or three, these homies just hate white people
Why even make the game then? Do something original.
>WE WANT TO MAKE A GAME WITH MORALS!!!1! NO RACISM!!NO OBJECTIFYING!!!NO COLONIALISM!!!
>*proceeds to make a TPS in which you kill one billion enemies*
It's not hypocrisy anymore, it's mental illness.
It was always mental illness. They just aren't trying as hard to hide it anymore because they've grown confident in their ability to manipulate others.
tbf I don't remember her doing a lot of raiding in the reboot trilogy either. She just got the shit kicked out of her a whole bunch, killed a lot of people and destroyed a lot of probably valuable ancient infrastructure from collateral damage during said killing sprees.
There was raiding in 2013 but it was mostly optional. It also might have been added as DLC, I know at last some of it was.
Respectful Tomb Explorer just doesn't have the same ring to it
Tomb Tourist
Tomb Archiver
That sounds like an educational spinoff where Lara teaches you about all the random shit she found while exploring a Tomb.
The challenge is to not get bored and stare at her breasts.
Tomb Spelunker
Tomb Observer
Tomb Defender
Lara goes into tombs that are being looted by raiders and she fills them with lead.
And all of the raiders are hilariously white mustache twirling white colonialists. Lara has been race swapped to a mixed race or dark skinned lesbian who has struggled with the patriarchal, white supremacist society into which she was born.
This is her time, girls!
This is her time to fight the status quo!
TOMB DEFENDER: AVENGING QUEEN
Tomb Reader as she would rather read about tombs instead of desecrating them with her presence
It's just Tomb now.
Tomb Archeologist - Lara actually does her fricking job.
She doesn't actually have a job in the traditional sense, she is just a wealthy heiress that likes to raid tombs.
She's a grave robber.
It's in the name: Tomb Raider.
You're not supposed to explore it or even label it a tomb. You can hike nearby with a travel visa
Really weird how these people think anyone can claim "ownership" over culture to begin with.
>NOOOO! You can't just take this ancient clay urn out of a burial site that nobody has set foot in for hundreds of years! We NEED these extravagantly large tombs to stay preserved!
>Oh, by the way, we're moving our offices into an extremely cramped apartment complex because we're running out of room in the city to live. We don't have an unlimited amount of land on this planet, bigot.
>We NEED these extravagantly large tombs to stay preserved!
Lara is going to blow up almost all that shit in this next game. Only difference is that you might get a quick cutscene where Lara looks back and has a sad face at the lost history before she continues on and detonates another 15 barrels of explosives to take out some soldiers.
>We NEED those extravagantly large breasts to stay preserved!
Yes! That's what I'm saying!
Embarrassing. They've taken this to such an absurd extreme that you can't even make a parody of their behavior anymore. It's a cult.
They just don't get it.
frankly the name Lara Croft is more recognizable than "Tomb Raider" nowadays, may as well just ditch the whole title
This feels extraordinarily tonedeaf in the wake of how well-received the recent remasters of the OG trilogy were.
What do you expect from Crystal Dynamics?
Luckily this is their last chance with the IP and if it flops then Embracer Group will take the IP away from them.
Crystal dynamics are in a race against capcom to see who the bigger moronic company is.
Only crystal dynamics hasnt even gotten on the special Olympics starting line yet because their too busy chewing on their shoe laces.
Seriously give these fricking idiots an award.
Remasters of 123 do incredibly well. Filter the frick out of zoomers and respect the original games - CD refuses to advertise the game till they got shit for it.
Modders remove the woke warning label - moronic homosexual that runs nexus bans mod and comes out as moronic.
Remasters do well and people want classic Lara back - CD - heres leon from RE4 as a troony cosplaying as lara. This is your new lara.
CD now - we feel "RAIDER" is offensive
the whole franchise is gay anyway
I don't know a single person who likes or plays them
They're fun murder simulators.
>2nd guy not ventilating her as she does this
lol I'm not one for realism in games but come on
He's ocularly molesting her with his male gaze.
If you've played a game where you can die during executions you'd know it just means you never ever use executions.
He’s horrified by someone grabbing his buddy and acting like Conan the barbarian as they brutally expose themselves during super violence. It does happen.
I've been reading about this, and this whole "the true custodians of the land" stuff is usually just total bullshit. The brits kept discovering shit in other peoples countries because the locals didn't care. There were entire buried civilizations underneath the feet of existing cities and they never dug down to find them. Even if they found them first the only difference is the british would've had to buy more of it instead because the locals just sell it.
Tomb Visitor?
>want to play a video game about annihilating aliems and getting rich?
>NO THAT'S BAD I'll bet you'd love the same game if you taught them the power of using the "correct" pronouns and everyone claps
Research Grant Requester
tl;dr current day-ing the sole appealing aspect of the series besides the jiggly pair of breasts which they're also going to cut in half because they were dropped on their heads as children. And they want this frankenIP they mutilated to sell? That drop was from a much higher position than any previous guess.
I'm sort of giddy with anticipation about how much more they will manage to frick up that IP, these revealing posts about how far gone they are mentally are such a tease really. How much of a man faced dyke will Lara look like? How much anti colonial masturbation will these freaks engage in while crying their eyes out when dictators like Putin also talk about western colonialism in their rallies? How much will the double mastectomies bite into her chest in virtue of protecting the feelings of sexually insecure femcels and mentally ill men in dresses?
So many question, so little fricks to give. I guess they want to lose even more money. I don't even know if embracer still has this IP or if they flushed it already. Whatever, laughs will be had and that's all that matters.
>So many question, so little fricks to give.
You know this board is going to be making daily posts about this game, don't kid yourself.
Tomb Expedition Petitioner
Lara first has to obtain permission from the host country to conduct a joint archeological dig. Of course, all recovered relics are property of the local government, but you can take pictures.
You mean promptly blown up by local "freedom fighters?"
>"Petition to make whiny congressmen recover ancient relics"
I want to see it happen
For realism, can they also feature local hawkers selling stolen cultural artifacts for peanuts, corrupt local officials pocketing research grant money and islamist groups blowing up world heritage sites?
This from the same homies who routinely tear down statues, vandalize old churches, desecrate paintings and. It's truly amazing the brainrot
Don't expect them to apply their own rules to themselves Anon that would be asking too much.
What is Embracer DOING?
well they can frick off then if you want to talk about neo colonialism address the hundreds of thousands of hindus and muslims from SE asia and Africa invading placed like Ireland and Germany, France and Sweden. Are we allowed shoot unwanted colonists from alien foreign cultures or is it just Africans and Indians who got praise for murdering unarmed foreign women and kids? Frick all wokes and frick crystal dynamics. Indians and Africans OUT OUT OUT
I warned everyone that they wouldn't stop with just removing the boobies. But they didn't listen, now we're losing everything.
Next they'll tell us how James Bond is actually a terrorist and expect us to care either way
I love how the very fist paragraph is a strawman argument when the very first Tomb Raider wasn't about "finders keepers" but rather the prevention Jacqueline's plans to use the artifacts for nefarious purposes.
You ever notice that people always bring up indiana jones in these kinds of discussions but in every case he's just trying to beat other people to the punch and that's it's gonna get taken by someone worse otherwise? Oh yeah I'm sure the locals who're helping the villains dig up those artifacts were gonna take real good care of it.
It's such bullshit and pretty much spits in the face of anyone in the field of archeology.
They make it sound like UNESCO is going around plundering ancient relics or that the sarcophaguses in the Louvre arn't being well-maintained instead of being destroyed by Muslims for being actual Haram.
These homosexuals have such a lack of cultural awareness it transends moronation and borders on psychotic.
These people have the same ideology as the Chinese Red Guards that destroyed thousands of years of ancient Chinese history for the same reasons.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_Olds
First it was race theory, then queer theory, and now post-colonial theory.
And these dumb motherfrickers keep saying this shit isn't woke.
How come video game bans and censorship was considered bad in the 90's but now it happens regularly and hardly anyone complains and some people actively celebrate it?
I always kind of liked that Lara was a c**ty, toff b***h who was essentially a murderous grave robber who didn't give a shit because Rule Britannia or something.
She was basically a fricking awful person and that was kinda fun.
They want to make her le super serious deep heroine who presses Y to not get raped these days though.
I want a game set 80 years in the future where you're a lawyer working for countries suing the Bri'ish government to get back all the shit Lara stole.
Don't you just love it when video game companies prioritize patronizing you instead of entertaining you?
Just hope they don't get their grabby currentyear hands on Legacy of Kain
There’s really no easy way to make that game into a vehicle for political activism & the series sales hinges on appeasing old fans so it's more than likely a dead ip.
>Tomb Raider
>No raiding
>Just tomb
Accurate I guess kek
The reboot games barely even had tombs either.
The reboot trilogy doesn't even have tombs in them
I think it had one or two.
>perfect dark
I'm sad now
I don't think they could frick it up as hard as Zero even if they tried.
Jesus Christ, we truly live in fricking clown world
>We are all the same
Some just commit more crime than others.
Fake article.
No one is scared of works of fiction.
thanks for the heads up so i can avoid your games from now on
>British person stealing ancient historical artifacts
Feels like you're making it more unrealistic tbh tbh senpai
israelite dynamics has been holding the IP hostage for quite a while now
"Consenting Tomb Respecter"
except lara, like Indy, 'raided' for museums
but it's ok if the natives 'raid' their own deserted ruins and sell it to a local warlord (which happens 99% of the time except for late 19th and early 20th century British/American/French/euro explorers)
Remember when they put a content disclaimer at the beginning of the remasters?
They could just accept that she isn't a moral person. Trying to make her relatable was a mistake, she was always just British imperialism as a person.
It's funny because at least British imperialism built railroads and irrigation. Modern imperialism just builds abortion clinics and gay pride flags