>everyone in pubs is godtier because the only people who still play this game have done so for at least 10+ years
>Valve still hasn't addressed how the teleporter tumors would be known because Heavy always utilized it with his sandvich
what a fricking fraud of a game
>Valve still hasn't addressed how the teleporter tumors would be known because Heavy always utilized it with his sandvich
what
did you watch expiration date? it is shown that wheat becomes a sentient tumor if it goes through the engineer's teleporter, yet heavy always teleported his sandviches left and right
Sanviches are made from oats, not wheat.
According to the wiki sandviches are made of white bread. Also evidently it is white bread from the pic, it even has the darker patches.
maybe he makes his sandviches with imitation bread
He ATE them you fricking idiot
HE CAN'T EAT SOMETHING THAT WOULD ESCAPE HIS HANDS AND TRY TO BITE HIM IDIOT, AT LEAST NOT WITHOUT NOTICING
YOU HAVE TO DO NOTHING BUT TELEPORT BREAD FOR 3 DAYS BEFORE IT TURNS INTO A MONSTER YOU DONUT
NO DUMBASS WATCH EXPIRATION DATE AGAIN, MEDIC/ENGINEER DEMONSTRATE IT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE, IT ONLY TAKES ONE SINGLE TELEPORT FOR TUMORS TO APPEAR INSIDE THE BREAD
YOU NEED TO TELEPORT IT FOR 3 DAYS ONLY IF YOU WANT TO CREATE A GIGANTIC SENTIENT MONSTER
and bread with tumors does not "escape from your hands and try to eat you"
just did, medic says at the end that it only happens to bread, and they only metastatize in an environment of pure wheat
... like heavy's sandvich?
his sandvich isn't pure wheat
the bread is pure wheat
white bread isn't pure wheat
Potato bread. White bread. Lotta bread out there.
the dagram you posted says "bread and grains"
wheat is a grain
grains implies more than a single type, so it's not pure wheat
"Grains" is the name of the "bread and grains" group, it doesn't mean there are many grains there
Just like every other ingredient is a "group". There is only one meat and it's visibly ham, yet it says "meat and poultry group" (there is no poultry)
it being white bread makes it not pure wheat anyway
Anon you think the breads teleported by medic/engineer were "pure wheat"? In that case they'd be just fricking flour. "Bread" necessarily needs milk and eggs and oil or some sort of substitute.
that's not what i meant moron
What did you mean?
>white bread is made from wheat
it specifically says PURE wheat
are you suggesting that the wheat kernels are fricked and therefore impure?
The first thing Heavy does after hearing about the tumors is continue eating his sandvich.
I know, but how does that explain away the plothole?? It merely means valve acknowledges it
There's no plot hole. He just eats it with the tumors.
and he never REALIZED it had fricking tumors and warned others? when heavy is canonically one of the smartest mercenaries?
He just assumed it was olives.
heavy sniffs it, shrugs his shoulders, and continues eating it, showing he doesn't care about the bread killing him
>when heavy is canonically one of the smartest mercenaries?
comic heavy != sfm heavy
>comic heavy != sfm heavy
there we go, more shitty inconsistent writing
>character acting differently in a comic compared to an animated short where the character only has one line
He's a Russian literature professor, not a sandvichologist. When it comes to his job, he's a simple man.
heavy just doesn't care about the tumors
>sperging about a plothole in team fortress 2
holy frick please have a nice day
>I entered a thread about a game I deem irrelevant, now I will proceed to be mad at the people discussing it!
not sure if autism or narcissism but you're both reaaally fricked in the head
i never said tf2 was irrelevant dumbass
im saying youre moronic for caring about a pothole in tf2 when the plot literally doesn't even exist in the game
that's like caring about a plot hole in Minecraft or tetris
and from the reaction image I can definitely tell you are mentally ill so frick off
I thought the sandviches are not even real food but like imitation everything since they're made by ManCo right
see
I mean it says belongs to a "food group" and its called a sandvich. It doesn't say what it really is . I thought that was the joke with all the food/drink items in TF2. Its not food its chemicals really bad harmful chemicals, like not even fallout tier bad but worse.
Reminder that bonk is mostly radiation
>You mean radioactive materials?
No Radiation.
DEY PRT TRBY FORX IN DE SURDA
And then presumably ate them before it became a problem.
Heavy literally sniffs his sandvich after Medic breaks open the first loaf and shrugs before continuing to eat it. I'm sure there is some moronic expanded universe fanfic lore as to why his sandviches are fine, but who actually gives a shit?
he said pure wheat
the sandvich isn't pure
>Valve still hasn't addressed how the teleporter tumors would be known because Heavy always utilized it with his sandvich
Skill issue.
The lunch box blocks the tumor radiation, that's why the items are called lunch box items.
Oh there we go there is an official recipe. Yep it's real white bread.
Nowhere does it say that it's real white bread. Is Mann Co. paying you to post here?
>No butter
>No mayo
>+120 health even though fully heals
>A literal sandwich made with health and nutrition in mind
>Even has the little pretentious toothpick through an olive, which has no purpose at all
Still the most iconic weapon from all of Valve's games.
>the little pretentious toothpick through an olive, which has no purpose at all
what? anon that toothpick holds the whole thing together
bruh
Its far more based to kill someone with a toothpick then being a savage Black person smashing someones head in with a crownbar
you can't kill people with the sandwich, meds now
I want to see the drawings of Spy fricking the Eiffel tower
What a fricking fraud indeed. Good on you for realizing.
TF2 is dead, it's time to move on to the superior multiplayer Valve shooter AKA Left 4 Dead 2
>Fully mod supported with a large amount to choose from
>Consistent playerbase that isn't filled with bots
>No israelite cosmetics, if you want to change the appearance of someone you download a mod, no transactions required
>A well programmed game director ensures that almost every game you play is different than the last, promoting replayability
>even if you get bored of playing the same campaign maps all the time, there are plenty of great custom maps to choose from
>has one of the most advanced gore systems in a vidya
>Versus still makes homosexuals and shitters seethe to this day
>everyone in pubs is godtier because the only people who still play this game have done so for at least 10+ years
Just started playing again recently after a decade, and there's a lot of newbies. Only 2-3 people who have nolifed the game since 2007 on most servers.
>Only 2-3 people who have nolifed the game since 2007 on most servers.
it only takes 1 to make the pub unplayable
Definitely not. One guy can't carry an entire team of mid players.
Matter of perspective imo
I've started playing TF2 today and im getting my ass beaten by bots.
Do i even stand a chance against actual people?
Everyone kinda sucks to start out with.
Yes. You just started! You'll get better with practice. Plus, this is a very casual game. Nobody is going to give you shit for playing poorly.
Which classes have you tried so far?
Soldier, Scout, Demoman and Spy.
Most of my attemps consisted on running Soldier with the Rocket Launcher and trying to blow up enemies to the best of my abilities before getting killed or accidentally blowing myself up after firing a rocket too close to me
just get gunboats. going in from the sky is hard to deal with for basically everyone and you can shoot at your feet and basically insta win against most encounters vs scouts, spies, etc
>you can shoot at your feet and basically insta win against most encounters vs scouts, spies, etc
except gunboats doesn't reduce damage from rockets that successfully damage enemies
that sucks. gunboats are still amazing though unless you're literally playing hallway maps
yeah gunboats are obligatory for newbie soldiers, not so much once you git gud though
>gunboat downplayers
now i've seen everything, kek
I'm not downplaying gunboats, it's the only way to play soldier when you are a newbie and don't know how to rocket jump
But eventually you learn how to rocket jump while taking minimal damage, at that point why would you not pick banners or a shotgun to combo when you launch people? An experienced soldier is hardly going to pick gunboats anon.
The actual frick are you talking about? Gunboats is a must take for any soldier that isn't spending the whole game in the pocket. This is the case all the way up to the gayest e-sport games.
no it is not? why would you pick gunboats if you know how to rocket jump well AND where all health pickups are? I don't think you realize how much offensive capability you're giving up by not taking a shotgun, let alone at least a fricking banner
This. Unless you're rocket jumping constantly there's no need to equip the gunboats. The shotgun is simply too good to pass up
>tells new player to equip the item that lets you rocket jump better instead of telling them to use shotgun at close range and aim at enemies feet
tf2 has a high learning curve but dont sweat it, stick to the default weapons for a while to get a feeling for each class and then when you are ready try to mix your lodaout.
>tf2 has a high learning curve
It really doesnt, hence why people actually like it
anon TF2 is the sort of game you need to play for 100 hours to merely realize what is going on, think of it like Dota 2
if you want to git gud play a lot of medic, notice how good players do their thing, the way they position themselves, notice how soldiers will rocket jump and fire a few rockets while in the air etc etc
then play a lot of a REAL class, REAL classes = soldier, demoman and scout (especially the first two), don't just swap if you die a lot, keep playing it and adapting to your opponent's antics
Play medic heal people stay behind them push with uber, people are always happy for a medic even a bad one as long as you are healing people and moving forward with them. Don't try to kill people unless they are in melee, hide behind someone and be a b***h. You can try shooting people with needles they do heal you but its easy to frick up at first without getting how the work and not shooting at the right angle.
Or play pyro and m+w1 and cause seeth
You gotta fiddle with the settings, it makes a world of difference. Defaults are eternally stuck in 2007.
Start with the options (gear icon) on the main menu, mostly for video settings like your FOV and sens
Then in advanced options you can find a lot of useful stuff like enabling auto reloads (most weapons in TF2 load one shot at a time and are cancelable), hit sounds, damage text, and plenty of Class specific features that are mostly a matter of preference.
this default settings are moronic. I think you need to manually enable the console just to change your weapon fov so it doesn't take up 40% of the screen
The default weapon fov is amazing. I hate these homosexuals who make the weapon look like shit just so they can see 2% more of the bottom of their screen. Anyone who does this doesn't deserve tf2
2% more? No it's more like 40% more.
TF2 is not a fighting game. Why are you so pessimistic?
No one's gonna flame you for sucking, especially since 12v12 means you're only one piece of a dozen slices. It's not like other games where someone having an off day might as well collapse your team.
People are pretty chill anyway, no one's treating a Casual match like it's the Olympics.
Just gotta keep at it. Even those vets had to start from zero.
>Bill's
Never see anyone wear that anymore
Back in my day when the game was the game, that was actual currency
I'm so out of the loop with regards to cosmetics in this game that I still covet Bill's Hat. I have Ellis' Hat, at least.
You realize there was never any more added to the stock of items right?
There was only around 100k bills hat's and there was like, around 800,000 Proof Of Purchases eventually claimed back in 2011.
Keep in mind this number doesn't include anyone who's privated their backpack, hasn't launched the game since 2011, or had a proof of purchase and deleted/crafted it.
This is also just assuming the people who've played tf2 pre-f2p.
Post f2p is probably a way higher number especially since the game has been free for the past 12 years, and up to 2011 had only been out for 4
no shame in playing PvE like MvM boot camp or VSH maps to get your feet wet.
>PvE
should say coop, since vsh is technically pvp
just play spy at first like everyone else, hide in plain sight and watch your enemies, learn their ways. Take your time, and strike at the best moment. It's the strongest class, everyone fears the spy.
Honestly just dick around in 2fort servers while you get your bearings, if you feel yourself getting consistently dominated just find a different server.
>everyone in pubs is godtier because the only people who still play this game have done so for at least 10+ years
the people in pubs now are noticeably worse than they were 10 years ago, wtf are you smoking?
Matchmaking is fricking dogshit I hate it. I keep getting dumped in in-progress matches with teams full of morons in vain hope that I somehow carry them (?). Just saw a medic with charged uber get hit by a train
Sovl.
>everyone in pubs is godtier because the only people who still play this game have done so for at least 10+ years
Black person, what? It's mostly poor 12 year olds that don't know what's going on.
>look at scoreboard
>enemy team is stacked with red and purple badges
>my team is stacked with blue/light blue badges
Every single game is like this. Dumbass matchmaking algorithm thinks I'm good enough to carry a team full of new players.
Well it's more that gays tend to all queue as a group
This is a bucket.
My god.
There's more.
The worst part about TF2 (and most multiplayer games these days) is how absolutely nobody talks. I remember back in the day TF2 community servers. Some of the people on there were so funny, but now there are no human voices in TF2. I feel bad for zoomers.
Literally just played an hour ago with three people on voice and more than a few in text chat.
No you didn't
I did. On EU servers, I dunno if americans are all anti-social autists.
the current playerbase is over 2x what it was 10 years ago
idk what you're on about, every pub I join consists of
>3-4 people who actually knows how the game works
>1 furry pyro wearing $500 worth of cosmetics
>2 passive heavies sitting in the middle of the map doing whatever
>Ivan junior and his 10 gibus pre-school mates
>1 medic dressed in all pink named some shit like "femboy mine operator"
>1 sniper with 100k clocked kills on his australium rifle
>1 engineer mic-spamming some markiplier FNAF playthrough (what the frick is the deal with these guys)
>2-3 bots
I'm the sniper with 100k clocked kills, but it is just a default strange sniper rifle and I am in completely default gear then get kicked.
do they assume you're cheating because you dont have cosmetics equipped?
Yeah, I just think that 90% of the cosmetics are ugly as frick.
nobody cares about the moronic unfinished lore other than dumbass wannabe game theory clone youtubers and a loud minority of morons here. nobody cares about stupid teleporter lore.
in pubs is godtier because the only people who still play this game have done so for at least 10+ years
lolwut? I see plenty of dudes that joined two years ago kicking ass and decade old players that were less than remarkable. Most people just play TF2 to chill anyway, regardless of skill
Bros I haven't played in years and I can't talk with people wtf is happening
they had to disable that for free to play accounts because of bot spam
Frick, I haven't bought a hat for like 10 years, do I really need to?
>inb4 bruh it's like 1 cent
I don't care frick hats
If you get a weapon on the store and select "Try it out" you get a free version of that weapon for the week and during that time you can buy the weapon for 50% off
Alternatively just buy a key and put it onto the community market for slightly less than what you bought it for
if you buy something you automatically get a bunch of shit and way more inventory space. It's useful
this, it is worth spending in TF2 at least once per month, contracts are great
what? You get contracts now for buying stuff?
>I don't care frick hats
stop being a little baby
I shared your mindset for a long time but one night when I was drunk back in 2016 I bought a rocket launcher for $40, I regretted it the day after but decided to just hold on to it and whaddya know shit is worth around $500 today
Does the contracts actually do anything aside from give me arcade funbux to spend on some ugly skins?
Why yes contracts are a really fun and innovative way to have you know aspects of TF2 that you would never find otherwise! There are so many weapons and mechanics, contracts encourage you to interact with all of them! Contracts are really fun, buy them now anon
You also get a few hats.
>Ugly skins
Honestly they're some of the better ones.
THANK YOU!
Point of advice: Don't take the Amputator contract.
It's horrible.
I didn't even want to do the contracts cuz I want my contractor to stay black.
I memoryhole'd TF2 from my brain since 2011. I'll just play it again with no prior knowledge like i did in 2009. I literally don't care if i suck hairy ass at it, pushing buttons and being moronic is like 90% of the fun of online games.
Compnogs get the rope btw
HNNNGGG
I NEED MATPAT TO MAKE A VIDEO TO UNDERSTAND THISSSSSS
Disregarding the stupid meme bullshit idk why 30 year old men is pretending is interesting
>everyone in pubs is godtier because the only people who still play this game have done so for at least 10+ years
Is true. Honestly the game feels far more unplayable just from the average sniper getting better and better. Im actually pretty decent at sniper and it is disgusting how much you shut down a whole lobby let alone 3/4 which every server has at this point. Just look at kill feed and its almost 50/50 headshots/bodyshots compared to every other icon in the game lol
I literally cannot play this game because of aomething in a promotional comedy video reeeee
>pays for Ganker
>is an inept moron
Many such cases
Heh
>Pass user since 2018
Dear Diary, today OP was a cuckold homosexual.
you need to slice bread to make sandviches
a knife killed the bread before being teleported
hence the sandvich doesn't turn into a bread monster
perchance
that makes sense actually