how do i catch a samus?

how do i catch a samus?

Unattended Children Pitbull Club Shirt $21.68

Yakub: World's Greatest Dad Shirt $21.68

Unattended Children Pitbull Club Shirt $21.68

  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    By being me

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      someone should photoshop e-girl porn or something to the reflection

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        a steam deck

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    i look like this except i was born male

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Are you interested in men?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        i only like men

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          gay homosexual

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You look like a homosexual and you are a homosexual (male).

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    umm that’s sexual assault.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It's okay if she likes it

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It's only sexual assault if she ends up disliking it which she clearly doesn't.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Didn't exist in the '40/'50s. It's one of those new fangled things that made the world worse like the internet and comic sans.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Not if they are married.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      What trauma happens to gays/trannies/liberals that makes them unhappy in filling their gender roles?
      Maybe you should just try it sometime?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        but trannies are happy filling female gender roles

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          until they see themselves in a mirror, or talk to someone who can see them

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            meh, surgery and hormones can go a long way

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              to an early grave

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous
          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            you know when someone posts something like this that the thread is derailed beyond salvation

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              This thread was never about video games, welcome to {current_year} Ganker

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            you know when someone posts something like this that the thread is based beyond comprehension

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          It's funny whenever I see people get mad that they can't find women who enjoy their hobbies like video games. Have they ever once looked at a trans woman? Like... Hello?! What you're looking for is right in front of you.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            You are not a real woman you are a homosexual in a dress

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >trannies have male hobbies
            Weird

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              yeah because they get raised as boys they usually end up gravitating towards the least masculine hobbies available like painting figurines and playing videogames

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                So why wouldn't they gravitate towards feminine hobbies?
                They aren't even playing women's games like Candy crush saga, it's typical male games.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                because most boys aren't allowed feminine hobbies. When you're a child you get to play with what your parents give you

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Trannies aren't real.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                then why are they rent free in your head so much

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                You keep raiding the board, no one wants to be around a bunch of depressed men pretending to be women

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                We just want our rights, and we won't stop fighting until we get it.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous
              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                We have the least political or social power of any adults in society. Our online spaces are either CIA psyop chambers or deleted from the internet. Dedicating your life to trying to bully us more than we already are will get you 0 political benefit. It's nothing more deep or virtuous than you hitting down on whoever you're allowed to without social consequences because you're a bad person.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Have you ever considered that you're responding to someone who is just trying to say whatever they think will get you angry?

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                trannies aren't even real, this is all in your head

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                We just want our rights, and we won't stop fighting until we get it.

                You will never be a woman

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                They aren't children, and if their parents let them dress up and call themslves girls I doubt they're forcing them to sit down and do speedruns of retro games you dishonest homosexual.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                you're talking about adults who already developed their interests as children
                but yeah the kind of trannies that do speedruns of retro games are usually pretty masculine

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                You can't force an interest, and if it's that easy why bother trying to claim to be women if they're already behaving exactly like men?

                There's plenty of men with fem hobbies, they don't seem to have an issue

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >There's plenty of men with fem hobbies, they don't seem to have an issue
                well yeah there's plenty of trannies like that too

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                More YWNBAW, less troony-calling.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Yeah but it's ugly so I don't like it.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Sure, everyone TOTALLY believes they are strong and brave for growing their hair out and using their fake falsetto girl-voice all the time. Not annoying in the slightest.

          Trannies need to 41% themselves.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Until it comes time to gestate and deliver a child.

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    she wanders through the galaxy to find the finest shotas

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >i want a gorgeous and badass independent woman so i can treat her like a maid and a sex doll
    That right there is why you’ll never catch a Samus, anon.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      but i bet she secretly wishes to be dommed and degraded

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >gorgeous and badass independent woman
      She's canonically baby obsessed and desperate for a man's approval.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Now that I think about it I hate how much you are actually right. God, frick Other M.

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Here you go bros

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >isn't speaking ebonics
      you aren't even trying

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Not every black man needs to speak in broken English.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          that's racist and possibly homophobic

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Then what is the point? Might as well keep him white.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I have yet to meet a Black person who didnt axe questions or who could count to one hunid.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          they dont need to commit crimes either, but they do
          now kys troon

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I just rather you nogs just to die out

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Don't bother, the cucks always have a weird schism about it. They are okay with getting cucked as long as the bull isn't edumacated and "inferior" to them

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            holy shit it's true
            both women and cucks love Black folk because they aren't a threat to their own perceived intellectual superiority

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              And by women, you mean trannies.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous
        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Boo, lame. Still gay.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          much better

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          ok, NOW i can jerk off. Thanks anon!

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I suck at ebonics but here is my try.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          That's much better.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous
          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >chirp

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >chirp

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >chirp

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >chirp
            Art

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >chirp
            very good.
            very very good.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >wash it
          >do *m*ric*ns really?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous
        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >ooh ooh ah ahh
          Ting tang walla walla bing bang

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Awwwright!

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          enough with the suggestions!

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous
    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Make him darker. Pure black.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Thanks for making it significantly worse

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      He would be hitting her in the face

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        yeah she needs a black eye

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          also samus should say something like "he will change once the baby arrives"

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          also samus should say something like "he will change once the baby arrives"

          Didn't Shad already draw image exactly like that like a decade ago?

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I mean probably

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Yeah, kinda

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          enough with the suggestions!

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            perfect

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            beautiful and historically accurate

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Happy Juneteenth!

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            You're a brown porn addict, seek help

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I said no cap unironically today.

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >samegayging
              You will never be a woman

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              fr?

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              u a'ight white boy

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            kino

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I suck at ebonics but here is my try.

      I hate the antichrist

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      /thread

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Indians have the smallest dicks in the world and the lowest IQs

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >ayo gimme sum of dat purple drank

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        sheeeeeiiiiiitt

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous
      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I heard it.

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I want a woman to serve me as my bang maid

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    giwtwm

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      giwtwm

      the male or the female?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        you know which

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        the submissive housewife

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    giwtwm

  10. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Ok so the tip of his fingers is going all the way down her cheeks but the image implies that he is doing a full side swing with his arm. Dude literally dislocated his hand and/or shoulder to slap his wife's ass. Why?

  11. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  12. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >look up the artist
    >futas in chastity cages

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >samus is pulling down her dress, hiding her futa boner
      >probably

  13. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Hit her over the head and drag her to your cave.

  14. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    why are americans like this

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      elaborate

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      IQ too high

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It's probably a eurocuck like YOU

  15. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    This is some Jujutsu Kaisen levels of spelling shit out unnecessarily through thought bubbles.

  16. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Samus would never

  17. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    As a white guy, why is it so hot to me when the whitest blonde girls frick the darkest black men?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous
    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      ikr? it just works!

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      shalom

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >~~*White*~~

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Krissy Sissy israeli energy

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >as a white guy

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >white
      You didn't even capitalize it, israelite

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I'm an aryan and just learned how few of us they're actually are in the world. Man, frick ~~*you guys*~~. Kanye was right, Hitler did nothing wrong.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      severe mental illness plus years of unrestricted internet access during crucial developmental years

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Jews aren't white

    • 2 weeks ago
      in all fields

      I like the degenerate racist part of it, which is originally how it gained it's popularity. It's degradation aimed at women. Getting bl*cked once means you're permanently tainted. So its taboo. But now there's all this sissy/gay/hypno/cuck shit attached to it which is annoying. Why can't I just be racist jeez. I wish it didn't make my pp tingle tho, RIP my brain I guess.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Good morning saar

  18. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >waste time animating samus pixel art
      >no jiggle at all

  19. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    By being 5'7

  20. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    there is no possible reality where N-slurs could make the world a better place

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      No but i would rather not be apart of some /misc/tard's TND fetish because of MUH PER CAPITA

  21. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Good thread, ruined by israeli trannies as always.

    The wrong side won WW2

  22. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Where is the gameplay discussion, Ganker? You guys said you wanted to discuss Metroid Prime 4, and yet here you're doing nothing but posting porn.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      who is posting porn? how is samus not related to video games?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >You guys said you wanted to discuss Metroid Prime 4
        nobody has mentioned metroid at all this thread

        Where is the gameplay discussion?

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          why would you assume this is a gameplay discussion thread?

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            because he is an autistic moron

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I want to discuss the gameplay somewhere. We have like 10 metroid threads up right now, and EVERY SINGLE ONE IS A PORN DUMP.

            Does nobody care about vidya on this board?

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              what about this one?

              [...]

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >thread constanly talks about how everyone wants to impregnate samus

                Yeah.... haha real nice discussion. haha

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Perhaps you should discuss the gameplay of getting some b***hes

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              you can literally start a thread about metroid gameplay retatd

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Some troony has spent over an hour editing a pic to change the skin colour because it's offensive to israelites.

          You think these freaks play video games?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >You guys said you wanted to discuss Metroid Prime 4
      nobody has mentioned metroid at all this thread

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Troons don't play video games, and dicklets are addicted to porn

  23. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What the frick is wrong with white males?

  24. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's Juneteenth, you fricking racists buttholes

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      [...]
      Tf is Juneteenth?

      Ah yes Juneteenth the American holiday entirely about rascisim unironicly. The holiday many states don't recognise and virtually noone celebrates.

      https://i.imgur.com/YpcSbli.jpeg

      how do i catch a samus?

      Doesn't real OP

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Juneteenth is a social media holiday discovered by lefties looking for new ways to virtue signal and clout chase over how hip they are for celebrating the "real" independence day.
      No one has ever actually celebrated it, and if they did it was a one off thing where they went right back to celebrating the 4th (or doing nothing because they have no friends and their family hates them) a year or two after.

  25. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    she would snap your spine in half with all those chozo steroids she has in her

  26. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    more like coonteenth

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It's Juneteenth, you fricking racists buttholes

      Tf is Juneteenth?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It's a federal holiday in the United States where we celebrate the freeing of the slaves. You have to shake a black person's hand today and give them 5 dollars in reparations if you pass them on the street.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          a day where democrats and israelites worship blacks

          Oh, now i understand what it means. thanks for the explanation guys 😀

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            oh, it's also a bad portmanteau of "June" and "nineteenth"
            similar to the incoherent speech of a blaperson

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              it's an especially stupid name because it doesn't specify that it's the nineteenth. "Juneteenth" might as well be the 13th.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        a day where democrats and israelites worship blacks

  27. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Flash her your meat?

  28. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    God I wish I were a nig

  29. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Catch her by the neck

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Why is nu Lara such a bawd?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Lara's always been an adrenaline junkie. If it involves danger in one way or another, she's going to orgasm hard once she's back at her mansion, violently flicking the bean until smoke comes out.
        Yet while old Lara got off on dual wielding guns and shooting dinos, nu-Lara gets off on physical assault.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You wouldn't be able to do that unless you were Raven Beak. And Ravern Beak uses the flash shift teleport upgrade. Even Ridley the Space Pterodactyl doesn't grab Samus by the neck. He just rushes and skids her across the floor/walls. Going for that kind of hold is impossible.

  30. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    box of beads

  31. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous
    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Oh man I haven’t seen this in years and forgot Shawn was the one behind it. You can’t really tell it’s him without being told.

  32. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Cool thread, thanks jannies

  33. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Samus would never think those things. Sorry bud!

  34. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    this image feels shadman-esque, just needs some more eyeliner

  35. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    i wanna roll her up in a ball and roll her down the hill. if im feeling frisky i might put some bowling pins at the bottom of the hill. haha. strike!

  36. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Press the Gaben

  37. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why would a non black man watch blacked porn? Unless he is gay.

  38. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    In combat impossible unless you were Ridley size +. Such that you can use your sheer volume to cover a big area she can't get out of. But speed Booster canonically lets her hit supersonic speeds. So even size won't help you if she's in motion.
    Traps largely won't work. You put her in a box she power bombs. You put her in a hole she grapple beams, wall jumps, space jumps spider balls out. Morph ball lets her sneak through small crevices. She doesn't take fall damage so you can't trap her on a plane or some high altitude. Gravity suit gives her freedom of movement underwater. Catching Samus is probably impossible through physical means.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      nah i'd win

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        ?t=64
        If you count the Chozo soldier treatment as winning sure.

  39. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Since this thread is now about trannies (like all threads) can we get a boner edit for Samus

  40. 2 weeks ago
    Boco

    Ever see a Road Runner cartoon? Put out a plate of bird seed.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Did you ever watch those Road Runner shorts to the end?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        They end with the Road Runner crushing Wile E.'s pelvis, right?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Boco

        The bird seed is to distract her. The rest is up to you, I can't do all the work here.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >Create a food plot to lure out the bear
          >Oh how to catch the bear that part is up to you

          • 2 weeks ago
            Boco

            Well, maybe you could win her over with...uh...what does she even like?

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Round things

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                And small crevices

              • 2 weeks ago
                Boco

                Then give her a ball.

  41. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    kill all attention-whoring tripgays. behead all tripgays. beat all tripgays senseless. anal rape all tripgays with the sharp end of a spear and thrust all the way vlad the impaler style. defecate on their corpse. piss in their eye sockets. send an image of their corpse to all family members and the two friends they have. feed tripgays to pigs. sell those pigs to some poor sap in a third world country. behead all tripgays and play football with their headphone-flattened heads. upload their death on pornhub and title it “huge fat homosexual takes on several wieners at once”. go back in time and date their mom and convert them to jehovah so she becomes completely undesirable and as a result she never breeds and has a tripgay to be disappointed in.

  42. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Samus will never have a boyfriend, she's a femcel

  43. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I'm almost positive this was drawn by a troony.

  44. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    REMINDER THAT VIDEO GAMES THREADS WILL GET YOU BANNED BUT THIS THREAD IS STILL UP
    JOONS EVEN REMOVED INDIVIDUAL POSTS WITHOUT DELETING THE THREAD
    FRICK JANNIES, FRICK TROONS, AND FRICK PORN SPAMMING JEETS AND CHINKS

  45. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Wish I had a tall, blonde, blue-eyed gf

  46. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I'll remember this thread the next time Metroid fans claim to care about gameplay discussion.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *