52 thoughts on “>Metroid is a bad game because it doesn’t tell you to shoot the red doors with missiles”

  1. Back then you had the manual telling you what to do troughout the first half of the game. With that missing, and if you never interacted with Metroid in any capacity, I can see how someone wouldn’t know what to do. Then again it’s questionable if they’d read the manual if they had one nowadays.

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      • They never put the moves for street fighter or mortal kombat on the arcade cabinets.
        You were expected to figure the button combinations out yourself to do special moves and fatalities.

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  2. man it just shows how retarded gamers are today, the feeling of experimentation is gone and thats sad because it was my favorite thing about games.

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    • He will end up turning into a chud. Just wait, being a "games journalist" will accelerate his metamorphosis into a hideous speedrunning sexual deviant.

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  3. >imma just walk around and around the same block forever, and maybe some day I’ll touch some food by accident

    Are zoomers really this stupid?

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  4. >Touch spike
    >Die
    >Castlevania, Mega Man, and Ninja Gaiden are all bad games because they didn’t tell you that spikes instantly killed you. One game where that happens, sure. But three? Now that’s where I’m calling bullshit.

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  5. Wait. There are no manuals in the Switch online games?
    wtf? Nintendo has always included instructions on all their VC releases. Even on WiiU. Why is this $50 a year subscription service missing such a basic feature.

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    • https://www.nintendo.co.jp/clv/manuals/en/index.html
      https://www.nintendo.co.jp/clvs/manuals/en_us/index.html
      How many times do they have to give us the manuals?

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  6. >metroid nes is full of lots of cryptic bullshit such as bombing random tiles to progress further
    >playing super metroid has been a smooth experience so far because I’ve just gotten used to it
    ngl its satisfying and fun but man if I played these games at a young age I would have been so lost

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    • >random tiles
      If you pay attention to contextual and environmental cues you can figure out which ones you’re supposed to hit.

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      • You’re right. I was hitched on the first few times you had to do it to make hard progress but after that it kinda came naturally.

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      • There are definitely some random bullshit secrets in the original Metroid, but you do eventually develop a good "Metroid sense" (intuition) for it that’ll let you find most of the secrets without much effort. I found that satisfying when I played through it the first time.
        I also really dig the combat in Metroid 1, and the atmosphere it creates. I wish the series had ended up with a more methodical combat, instead of Samus being so overpowered. Are there any modern Metroidvania games where the character is weak enough that combat with ordinary enemies is tense for most of the game?

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      • zoomers expect to be hand held. Back during the NES days games did not hand hold you. Even games on PC expected you to figure out the mechanics yourself. without a guide to train you how to play the game or a tutorial. They expected you to learn through trial and error. That is how games were meant to be originally.

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          • Metroids owners manual didn’t tell you about anything, you got a little bit of story that was roughly translated, and like 10 monsters they named and listed in the manual, the basic controls and thats it. It may have told you the names of the abilities and a brief summary of what they did but they didn’t tell you stuff like certain attacks opened certain doors or secrets or stuff like that. They used Nintendo power and the 1800 number to get you to pay them for that info. Cause we didn’t have internet yet, the major cities started getting internet in the early late 80s early 90s. Metroid came out in 85/86 in the US.

          • I was going to say, I distinctly remembered the book talking about missiles and doors. God, I miss instruction manuals.

          • Holy shit, you just got BTFO.
            Please reply to

            >Metroids owners manual didn’t tell you about anything
            Don’t talk about things you don’t know

            I want to see what other excuses you’re gonna come up with.

          • Nintendo used the $20.00 a minute phone line and the outrageously priced nintendo power to give real instructions and tutorials. That is why all the old games are so hard. Hell most were translated WRONG with broken english (Simons Quest) Final Fantasy etc. Can you tell me what you were supposed to do in Gauntlet? And how were you supposed to figure out the "magic words"?

        • In relation to the first post, its hilarious because red doors took 5 missiles to open, zoomers would flip shit because of no feedback response after one

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    • i go back and play the original every few months on emulators. GTFO zoomer there is no reason in this world you should have taste this bad.

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  7. +
    wtf is this crap?
    stop shilling your shitty videos here.
    You looked like a homosexual with the zoomer hair puff you turned into a mohawk with the homosexualgy spiked collar. You bleed HIV.

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