[Sad news]

Paperboy calls it quits

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  1. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    big if true

  2. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    That little homosexual broke my window.

  3. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    [Good news] OP is a Black person loving homosexual

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Finally, there's someone here who loves me!

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >big bucks!

  4. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    People used to deliver milk

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      I delivered milk back in 98'. back when milk was still real milk and not a gross dairy by product full of conservative poison.
      why must everything in this world eventually turn to shit. Is this really satans domain and we must learn to gtfo?

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        My local milk doesn't even coagulate when it expires. It just gets a mildly chemical taste. I think the malk joke is now real.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Now with vitamin R!

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >conservative poison
        Man the israelites really did a number on you

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      When society was white.

  5. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    must be a small town if the paperboy quitting is big enough news to not only get in the paper, but get the front page spot

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      If your paper boy is quitting, it's probably the first news you want to read

  6. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    How are people supposed to see this news if the paperboy quit?

  7. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    A rolled-up newspaper just flew over my house!

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      I just saw that newspaper hit a dog

  8. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'm not surprised, maybe if he was paid a living wage this wouldn't have happened!

  9. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Paperboy here. I quit because while I enjoyed delivering papers my employer inexplicably required a mandatory obstacle course after every route which was responsible for 90% of my hospitalizations.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      skill issue

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >wants a living wage
      >won't earn it by surviving the gauntlet of the paper route
      You're weak.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Doesn't follow simple instructions like landing the paper in my fricking mailbox
      >Breaks my windows
      >Forces me to repair my window and repaint the entire fricking house without warning on a Monday!
      >Only paint company open to paint my house o the same day is the Red Paint Company, so now my house looks like the rest of the fricking street and my property value plummets.
      You deserve it you little gay!

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        If you didn't want your windows broken then you should've remodeled your house into a medieval fortress

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      you shouldve just got off the bike and put it in the mailbox you dumb homosexual.

  10. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I had the N64 game
    I couldn't beat the first level

  11. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    It's over for the neighborhood

  12. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    twist ending : nobody knew about this because he wasn't there to deliver the news.

  13. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    40 Reasons Why Paperboy Called It Quits (and why that's a good thing)!

  14. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    So why exactly was the Grim Reaper chasing you in the game?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      In truth the Grim Reaper is chasing us all

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Cheats death numerous times almost crashing into moving vehicles, houses, obstacles on a training course, etc.
      There's a reason why he suddenly showed up on a Tuesday.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Look at the dumb shit the paperboy is doing, he's supposed to be dead already and Death is here to collect.

  15. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I bought a gaming PC with the money I saved from doing a paper route when I was 9-12, always got big tips and some nice cards around the holidays. And this one house had a super friendly cat who always ran up to me for pets.
    Now it's just adults in cars delivering papers, RIP. The paperboy has gone the way of the milkman. I wonder if zoomers even know what a "paperboy" is.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      What opportunities like that are even available to kids nowadays? Scamming in Roblox? Reselling pokemon cards? No wonder work ethic has gone down the shitter (well there's a billion other reasons too but still.)

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        nothing. there was an after school program that paid you like $200 for participating when i was in high school and i think its still around but you only got paid twice for spending a couple hours after school doing regular club activities for like 6 months

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Scamming in Roblox?
        if you only care about spending any profits on ROBLOX because the robux to USD exchange rate is shit and they won't let you get devex payouts without a huge initial requirement of robux earned from clothing/microtransaction sales
        and they'll tend to deny your devex requests if they think you didn't get that robux legitimately

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      The government made hiring kids too hard due to panic about child labor. Now there is nobody who would hire them. They simply do not get that children want money to buy things with.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Well now they can get that money from those friendly uncles in discord

  16. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    do you think paperboy could’ve been a household ip if they kept making good games after the 64 one?

  17. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    QUITTER!

  18. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    That c**t threw a paper right through my window and I wasn't even subscribed.
    I did respect his strength in managing to break my window with a paper though and subscribed afterwards.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      His boss is stressed out and puts him on a timer and had to deal with wild shit like tornadoes the week this occurred. That's my fault entirely. Give him credit though, he was able to get every subscriber's papers in their mailboxes despite the mess he may have made for you. I hope the new coat of paint we provided looks good on your house. I apologize we didn't have any red.
      - The Daily Sun owner

  19. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    good thred

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      random memey threads about an old game are the peak of Ganker

  20. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    what do we call him now if he quit being paperboy?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Boy.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Punished Paperboy

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      The boy formerly known as paperboy

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Papersneed

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Loser

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Venomous Paperboy

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Might as well call him PHONEBOY since thats all kids today do, obsess over tiktok. im sure hell have a good career making videos about the lgbt2abcefg+++ brigade or whatever theyre teaching in public schools these days instead of getting an actual job. There's now a HAUNTED HOUSE and a junkyard that's rolling tires across the street every 5 seconds! And I have no idea how thats not a violation of HOA zoning!! He doesnt even do his damn job, i saw him yesterday morning taking a shortcut to get home even faster I guess, but was through the shooting range with pools and electric gates behind the Thompkins house

      Im done with this state, you know they used to have a song called "California Dreamin'" but they might as well call it "CALIFORNIA NIGHTMARE" with the way liberals have run everything into the ground

      and EVERY TIME I post about this the mods on Nextdoor keep deleting my posts!!!

      ___________________
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      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        I just want to breakdance in the middle of the sidewalk for god's sake

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >and EVERY TIME I post about this the mods on Nextdoor keep deleting my posts!!!
        Lmao, are you the street dancer? You deserve it for being a homosexual in public.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >USMC 1981-1982

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Formerly Paperboy

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      papergirl, as she asked you to

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      sneed

  21. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I guess he wasn't all about his paper, boy..

  22. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Paperboy was raped in the summer of 1992

  23. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    We call him Quitterboy

  24. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Shaking and crying rn
    No it's not whoever the kid in the OP is, a newspaper flew through my window into my eye and it hurts

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Scribbled on it in red crayon was "I QUIT".

  25. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    So are we doomed to go without newspapers until the end of time?

  26. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Never send a boy to do a papergirl's job

  27. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    If I could make a living wage (for a shitty apartment) I would happily work some basic job forever
    unfortunately the powers that be demand I learn nuclear physics before they allow me to throw a paper sideways into a puddle next to the local rape hound
    i am smhmyhead

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Don't worry, we went from paperboys to paperadults to paperillegals and soon paperAI

  28. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    hi quits!

  29. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Go to Ganker
    >get The Daily Sun
    when are mods going to start banning these Sun-spamming fricks?

  30. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'd quit too if the fricking Grim Reaper came out and tried to make me crash my bike.

  31. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >paperboy calls it quits
    >Mario never gets his paper and keeps being a deadbeat dad
    The whole Mario series post-NES hinged on this one decision.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      No but seriously, WHERE THE FRICK IS xyxyxyxy?

  32. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'd quit too if this is the best picture they can be bothered to put up of me

  33. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    As a result of the resignation of our city's only paper boy, I've had to cut funding to our department of culture and arts. My appointed department head Mr. Goodling has issued a statement.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous
    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous
      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        They got wet from the light drizzle that was forecast for this afternoon?

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          >They got wet
          Well thats a relief because the residents of Rape Street are known for going in dry

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        The messages leading up to that are good too

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous
    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      I love these pictures so much

  34. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    And with the retirement of Paperboy, the newspaper delivery crisis has deepened dramatically, I'm joined by our Crisis Correspondent, Spartacus Mills. Spartacus, this is huge history.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      It's bigger than that, Chris, it's large. If you've got a history book at home, take it out, throw it in the bin, it's worthless. The history books will now have to be re-written.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        What will they say?

  35. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >guy with a seemingly infinite number of tires to throw across the street
    what the FRICK was his problem?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      He was tire of everyone's shit.

  36. 2 months ago
    Anonymous
  37. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Work the span of a week
    >Retire in GLORY

  38. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Mega 64 paperboy skit will always be their best

  39. 2 months ago
    Anonymous
  40. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    what did paperboy and it quits say to each other

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Terrible!

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      thats none of your business ass hole

  41. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Frick this kid, I was sick of painting my house every two days because his twig arms couldn't hit my mailbox to save his life.

  42. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    He should call it quits from LIFE!
    Stupid brat knocked over my flower pot nearly two times! I could have had flowers in that!

  43. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    He is not Paperboy.
    He is Paperman.
    And a man must do what a man does.

  44. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >another newspaper thread
    I dont give a FRICK what c**ts in my local news are doing!
    Go back to the newsroom where you belong.
    Fricking newsgays.

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