This is amazing. It has enough detail to take into account what vegetables do/don't walk on their roots, and the writer had enough foresight to note that some animals are disturbed by vegetables moving around/fighting back. It takes the concept seriously but keeps it funny; it's good shit.
Agreed. It also wouldn’t be dishonorable to center the campaign around solving the mystery of the strange fruits
[...]
But they aren’t natural fruits THOUGH, such an oddly specific genetic hybrid shouldn’t really exist in non-earth worlds
What would prevent growers from hybridizing plants in fantasy worlds? Having fantastical magical bullshit in the setting would probably make that sort of thing even more common, really.
They're in the same genus; they're not literally the same species.
Potato = solanum tuberosum
Tomato = solanum lycopersicum Aubergine/eggplant = solanum melongena, an old-world plant. There's also various other edible nightshade species in Australia, if that counts.
[...]
Lemons existed in New Kingdom Egypt (~1500 BC). If they were hybridised deliberately by humans (which is still up for debate—citrus fruits hybridise naturally as well), I think it's ancient enough that we can forgive it. If not, then you better get ready to also throw out wheat, oats, barley, rye, and rice from your worldbuilding!
It would be like having dogs in your fantasy setting and exact breeds like Pugs and wienerer Spaniels exist, thoughever
I would accept lemons if you called them limons, their historical name >this homie has oats
Betcha have maize too
That's easy.
The Lizardmen brought the tomatos from their Aztec themed country of origin, as well as potatoes and chilli peppers. Lemons were brought into being when a Wizard summoned a Djinn and wished for something he could garnish this wienertail he was bringing to the Wizards Guild Annual wienertail Contest.
Incidentally his second wish that all carrots should now be bright orange.
Were said potatoes super unpopular at first, and in order to get the others to try them Malekith created a massive potato farm and then had it guarded by the best of the Black Guard under strict orders that if they saw anybody trying to steal them, they were to pretend they don't see them?
Second is easy, as OG tatters and tomatoes were in fact growing across most of the world, even if less edible before selective culture control/controlled crop rotations. What are now regular peppers for example developed through hybridization of the mexican far tinier and less water absorbing pepper and another nightshade plant from the crossing zones between hungary, slovakia and romania along with the good conditions of europe and had to be re-imported, re-adapted and for a long while effectively greenhouse exclusive to be farmed in the americas. >TLDR: most nightshade plants developed in a form closer to modern day hybrids between the ice ages in europe as well
First one would be iffy to explain without magic if you want the modern lemons instead of the ones from ancient rome, but you did specify sword and sorcery thus >hybridization of rich citrus branches result of magic tinkering instead of science (or some local farmer fricking it up by accident and turning famous, such as with the sheer extra breed of grapes from antiquity)
Most of the food called "new world food" is not even from the new word, it is old world modifications/evolved forms that cant even be compared to theor new world origins (not to mention that most do or did have old world relative species). And for tatters, we do still have trace fossils and reaction bond samples which confirm that around 300 flowering nightshade varieties that had storage in side branches or stalk from whats now spain to the himalayas.
If magic exists, then a irl extinct species surviving more than probable
I've had this happen at my table and I think the most honorable solution is to just be honest with your players. Have a meeting with them at your usual game time and let them know that the campaign is ending and that it's not their fault, you appreciate them, etc. Then you can start working on your next campaign from scratch.
I would avoid the temptation of allowing the players to use their old characters in the new campaign because it will just create a lot of canon issues.
Agreed. It also wouldn’t be dishonorable to center the campaign around solving the mystery of the strange fruits
Lemons in swords and sorcery are fine, in fact they would be fine even in sandalpunk >Lemons are supposed to have entered Europe near southern Italy no later than the second century AD, during the time of Ancient Rome
But they aren’t natural fruits THOUGH, such an oddly specific genetic hybrid shouldn’t really exist in non-earth worlds
>But they aren’t natural fruits THOUGH, such an oddly specific genetic hybrid shouldn’t really exist in non-earth worlds
You're presumably ok with humans existing in non-earth worlds.
Justifiable. I’m of the C.S Lewis school of thought where God is real and Jesus Christ died for our sins. Since God made intelligent people with souls in his image, and the image was human, all intelligent fantasy/Sci-fi creatures should obviously be human or human-adjacent
Lemons in swords and sorcery are fine, in fact they would be fine even in sandalpunk >Lemons are supposed to have entered Europe near southern Italy no later than the second century AD, during the time of Ancient Rome
They're in the same genus; they're not literally the same species.
Potato = solanum tuberosum
Tomato = solanum lycopersicum Aubergine/eggplant = solanum melongena, an old-world plant. There's also various other edible nightshade species in Australia, if that counts.
Lemons aren’t natural thoughbeit
Lemons existed in New Kingdom Egypt (~1500 BC). If they were hybridised deliberately by humans (which is still up for debate—citrus fruits hybridise naturally as well), I think it's ancient enough that we can forgive it. If not, then you better get ready to also throw out wheat, oats, barley, rye, and rice from your worldbuilding!
>you better get ready to also throw out wheat, oats, barley, rye, and rice from your worldbuilding!
God bless the return of the one true staple crop - the TURNIP.
Aren't like 40% of the greens we eat, broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, brusslesprouts, lettuice, kale, spinach and all that all the same plant as well, wild mustard or something.
The whole potato thing is overblown. It's not like having potatoes led, say, the Russians to changing their social structure in any way whatsoever. They were miserable and oppressed peasants ruled by a cartoonishly evil nobility, and so they remained. Potatoes come, potatoes pass, and Russia remains a shithole.
Why would your setting be ruled by local lords if their biggest weakness literally grows from the ground in patches? It's like arbitrarily having a common weed that negates magic in D&D.
Why do you think mudcore settings are so adverse to potatoes, and every setting that does introduce them coincides with local lords immediately losing prominence?
It's obviously because potatoes are poison to local lords.
IIRC potatoes had a disproportionate impact on history because they cannot easily be stolen by passing armies, making villages more survivable against war
What are you fricking talking about, Jesus Christ you obsessed fricking television watcher, why would Russia even come to mind, and not fricking Ireland? Russia had famines because communists took over their society, not because of potato monoculture or anything gay like that.
Russia has always had famines. It had Famines in the Days of the Tsars, it had Famines in the days of the Communists; there was even a brief post-soviet famine in 2010.
Anon do you know how many words have left the English lexicon in the last hundred years alone? Frick, this thread is technically about one of them: "corn" didn't refer exclusively to the yellow shit that comes on a cob until 1800 something.
'Corn' is still a generic term, the specific term for the 'yellow on a cob' is Maize',
Also no other real plants, or real animals, for that matter. Including humans, of course. OP best out some effort into the verisimilitude of his fantasy setting, with no suspicious and unexplained similarities to the real world.
I'm running Dogs in the Vineyard and I need more ideas for secret sins people have that could be inviting in demonic influences. A good way to start is to think of the cardinal 7 (greed, pride, wrath, sloth, gluttony, lust, envy) then get specific with how they're abusing it.
Anyway if people want to suggest ideas I'm game to scoop them up.
Here you go anon, straight from the top of my head.
>greed
Failed merchant that wants to get rich so he can make another try. >pride
A pompous dandy who hails from a plantation family and wants to enslave some of the locals. >wrath
A very lost mexican who is very, VERY angry about his height. >sloth
Lazy aging farmer who views a bum leg as an excuse to let his fields lay fallow and his family starve. >gluttony
Desperate thug who wants prime rib-eye every day and took to cattle rustling to make it happen. >lust
Surly roaming physician who happens to be gay, and in the absence of any partners, is prone to drugging and raping young men. >envy
Bitter cripple from birth who sits in a wheelchair, uses the sympathy locals give him to spread malicious rumours about travelers.
>strawberries >alpine and wild muk strawberries which is by flavor closest to artificial concentrate because those are based on it instead of the american hybrid that tried to replicate their taste but faster, larger and with a more stable acid level and sucrose consistency >alpine likely also the literal source of a good chunk of modern new world strawberries by genetics >the stone age trace most found snack and even by neanderthal eaten strawberries
Lemons are supposed to have entered Europe near southern Italy no later than the second century AD, during the time of Ancient Rome.[2] They were later introduced to Persia and then to Iraq and Egypt around 700 AD.[2] The lemon was first recorded in literature in a 10th-century Arabic treatise on farming and was also used as an ornamental plant in early Islamic gardens.[2] It was distributed widely throughout the Arab world and the Mediterranean region between 1000 and 1150.[2] An article on Lemon and lime tree cultivation in Andalusia, Spain, is brought down in Ibn al-'Awwam's 12th-century agricultural work, Book on Agriculture.[18]
The first substantial cultivation of lemons in Europe began in Genoa in the middle of the 15th century.
>The lemon was first recorded in literature in a 10th-century Arabic treatise on farming and was also used as an ornamental plant in early Islamic gardens.
Except that they were describing malbred/bad condition grown mandarins and by europe already hybridized citrus fruits as can be greek and chinese (and fricking later on french) records of Anatolian and then post crusades re-opened silk road trade charters.
>Be me >D&D game in progress themed on the 16th or 17th century. I have depicted cannons and firearms regularly >Players are sailing on a sloop(using the layout from saltmarsh) which is capable of interoceanic travel >Included an ambassador from the fantasy equivalent of the Iroquois as a minor character in some political intrigue >Players have spent about a third of their time fighting slavers who are clearly doing an equivalent of the transatlantic slave trade >Someone complains when I mention corn imports
Turns out players just don't pay attention to worldbuilding
Yep. The people who tend to shout loudest about things not being historically accurate tend to be the most historically illiterate. And also moronic since it's fantasy. If I say that tomatoes are an old world crop in my setting, then they're an old world crop.
Why do people get salty when a fantasy world loosely based on a real life era and place isn't exactly like that era or place? Surely if you wanted a game that emulates earth in its entirety you'd play one set on earth
I find it funny how for seemingly large amount of people existence of wizards, demons, and undead is fine but tomatoes or potatoes? That's just way too fantastical! No way a fantasy world might have plants growing in different regions than on Earth. In fact, if we go with that line of thinking, how do we explain humans, wolves, wheat, and any number of other Earth organisms existing in a fantasy world? It's not Earth, so plants and animals found on Earth, whether Europe or America, are clearly out of place!
[...]
I got warned for "troll posts" for posting this, and I genuinely don't understand why. I'm not even complaining; I'm just confused. Are you not allowed to post pictures from that video or something?
I got warned for "troll posts" for posting this, and I genuinely don't understand why. I'm not even complaining; I'm just confused. Are you not allowed to post pictures from that video or something?
Literally nothing except how the country wants itself to be perceived. One technical distinction you could use is that an empire usually has direct client states while a kingdom usually doesn't, but even that's not a hard rule.
well its not nothing. its more of a soft spectrum. you could point to something and have a pretty clear picture of weither empire or kingdom is a more fitting term.
king has much more conotations of ruling over a certain people, while empire is much more ruling over various people. Empire also implies a more dominant international political position and expanding territorial claim. You wouldnt call the mongol empire the mongol kingdom, and you are more likely to call American dominance American imperialism.
I should clarify that when I say the terms are arbitrary, I meant in terms of how they were used by the people who used them, not that they aren't useful from an outside perspective. For example, the eastern roman empire still pretended to be an empire and not a kingdom (indeed, even a rather petty kingdom) for centuries after "empire" ceased to be a particularly accurate description.
Just do a Tolkien and say that these english words are being used for fictional near-equivalents rather than making up a new word that the reader wouldn't know.
>Let this be the hour when we draw squash together >I take my leaf >We shall have papaya, when the lives of the soldiers whose bodies were hewn even as they died against the gates of the Hornberg, are avenged! >It's all going dark again, and my achiote is so cold.
etc, etc
>named my cities and towns made up fantasy names that translate to stuff like “fish creek” and “tall hill” >already established that the country has had a precise language for centures, and therefore it would make more sense to just use “Fish Creek” >already hand drew and traced in pen the maps with the made up names used
>already established that the country has had a precise language for centures,
*Centuries.
Also, if that's the case, you can explain it by saying that so much time passed, and thus language changed, that people forgot what the name mean originally and started using it as a proper name.
Anon do you know how many words have left the English lexicon in the last hundred years alone? Frick, this thread is technically about one of them: "corn" didn't refer exclusively to the yellow shit that comes on a cob until 1800 something.
Either have the names be holdovers from an archaic root language, or make it such that there's some technical nuance between the two words that the layperson wouldn't care to understand.
The English language is full of this. I spent last weekend in the Lake District looking at some lovely ghylls. What's a ghyll? It's just an old word for ravine.
the eastern half of the world only draws tomatoes ... never lemons. the shit blindsides them everytime - and until they learn they will continue to die.
Additionally, broccoli, cauliflower, kale, cabbage, brussels sprouts, collard greens, and kohlrabi are all cultivars of the same plant species. It's more obvious for some of them since the cabbage head, brussels sprout and broccoli/cauliflower buds are all the same structure, just grown to different sizes.
>player described character with haircut that isnt period accurate >finish explaining the history of hair styling >describes mixed fabric clothing
why cant players put a little effort into it?
>Setting is a 1650s Central Mediterranean analogue >Bard player describes sitting at a piano at the inn >Let it slide as we're at least in the right century >Bard player describes playing a perfect key change, rousing the patrons >I explain that, due to the limits of pythagorean tuning, a key change is functionally impossible and renders the piece un-listenable to the patrons
I swear I'm the only one who has looked at my 400 page setting primer.
>viking setting >add corn >a quarter of my setting doc is explaining the artificial evolutionary history of all the New World crops native to the vikinglands
Lemons are supposed to have entered Europe near southern Italy no later than the second century AD, during the time of Ancient Rome.[2] They were later introduced to Persia and then to Iraq and Egypt around 700 AD.[2] The lemon was first recorded in literature in a 10th-century Arabic treatise on farming and was also used as an ornamental plant in early Islamic gardens.[2] It was distributed widely throughout the Arab world and the Mediterranean region between 1000 and 1150.[2] An article on Lemon and lime tree cultivation in Andalusia, Spain, is brought down in Ibn al-'Awwam's 12th-century agricultural work, Book on Agriculture.[18]
The first substantial cultivation of lemons in Europe began in Genoa in the middle of the 15th century.
I mean, what happens in fantasy is they always go low detail (he ate a plate of yams) to inventing compound words (another piece of Yamatoes and Limeberries pie please barkeep)...
Don't worry about that stuff so much. Halflings probably grow amazing fricking tomatoes.
Is this about Atlanteans selling lemons and tomatoes at ridiculous markups because they have a bottleneck on the supply?
>accidentally included Fantasy creatures AND situations in my lemon and tomato cultivating setting.
Frick
Ha ha been there
Total Veggie Death, Brocolli supremacy must be upheld
This is amazing. It has enough detail to take into account what vegetables do/don't walk on their roots, and the writer had enough foresight to note that some animals are disturbed by vegetables moving around/fighting back. It takes the concept seriously but keeps it funny; it's good shit.
>now all my players are refusing to repot their tomatoes and my whole plan has fallen apart, wat do?
You make me sick
>""""""accidentally""""""
Most S&S settings occur in antediluvian supercontinents, though, so no reason for them not to be there.
Lemons aren’t natural thoughbeit
What would prevent growers from hybridizing plants in fantasy worlds? Having fantastical magical bullshit in the setting would probably make that sort of thing even more common, really.
It would be like having dogs in your fantasy setting and exact breeds like Pugs and wienerer Spaniels exist, thoughever
I would accept lemons if you called them limons, their historical name
>this homie has oats
Betcha have maize too
Not at all, since like anon said, lemons are not even within screaming distance of modern.
>thoughtbeit
Frick off.
That's easy.
The Lizardmen brought the tomatos from their Aztec themed country of origin, as well as potatoes and chilli peppers. Lemons were brought into being when a Wizard summoned a Djinn and wished for something he could garnish this wienertail he was bringing to the Wizards Guild Annual wienertail Contest.
Incidentally his second wish that all carrots should now be bright orange.
what if the reason Malekith never seems to run out of Dark Elves is because he has potatoes
Were said potatoes super unpopular at first, and in order to get the others to try them Malekith created a massive potato farm and then had it guarded by the best of the Black Guard under strict orders that if they saw anybody trying to steal them, they were to pretend they don't see them?
>tomatoes
nothing wrong with that,
That's what you think.
RIP Herman Farbage
the frick are you talking about or is this just anther spam thread?
"New World foods in an Old World game" is a template form of bait thread, and a fairly old one.
That's what I thought was going on, I was just hoping that it was some other metaphor or term and not a "potatoe in the old world" spam thread.
Second is easy, as OG tatters and tomatoes were in fact growing across most of the world, even if less edible before selective culture control/controlled crop rotations. What are now regular peppers for example developed through hybridization of the mexican far tinier and less water absorbing pepper and another nightshade plant from the crossing zones between hungary, slovakia and romania along with the good conditions of europe and had to be re-imported, re-adapted and for a long while effectively greenhouse exclusive to be farmed in the americas.
>TLDR: most nightshade plants developed in a form closer to modern day hybrids between the ice ages in europe as well
First one would be iffy to explain without magic if you want the modern lemons instead of the ones from ancient rome, but you did specify sword and sorcery thus
>hybridization of rich citrus branches result of magic tinkering instead of science (or some local farmer fricking it up by accident and turning famous, such as with the sheer extra breed of grapes from antiquity)
Most of the food called "new world food" is not even from the new word, it is old world modifications/evolved forms that cant even be compared to theor new world origins (not to mention that most do or did have old world relative species). And for tatters, we do still have trace fossils and reaction bond samples which confirm that around 300 flowering nightshade varieties that had storage in side branches or stalk from whats now spain to the himalayas.
If magic exists, then a irl extinct species surviving more than probable
I've had this happen at my table and I think the most honorable solution is to just be honest with your players. Have a meeting with them at your usual game time and let them know that the campaign is ending and that it's not their fault, you appreciate them, etc. Then you can start working on your next campaign from scratch.
I would avoid the temptation of allowing the players to use their old characters in the new campaign because it will just create a lot of canon issues.
Agreed. It also wouldn’t be dishonorable to center the campaign around solving the mystery of the strange fruits
But they aren’t natural fruits THOUGH, such an oddly specific genetic hybrid shouldn’t really exist in non-earth worlds
>But they aren’t natural fruits THOUGH, such an oddly specific genetic hybrid shouldn’t really exist in non-earth worlds
You're presumably ok with humans existing in non-earth worlds.
Justifiable. I’m of the C.S Lewis school of thought where God is real and Jesus Christ died for our sins. Since God made intelligent people with souls in his image, and the image was human, all intelligent fantasy/Sci-fi creatures should obviously be human or human-adjacent
Lemons in swords and sorcery are fine, in fact they would be fine even in sandalpunk
>Lemons are supposed to have entered Europe near southern Italy no later than the second century AD, during the time of Ancient Rome
No potatoes though, right? Right?
tomatoes and potatoes are literally the same plant - cultivated Nightshade
AAAAAAAHHHH TOMATOES AND POTATOES ARE THE SAME THING???? HELP ME Black personMAN I'M GOING INSANE!!!!!
That explains my allergies.
And tobacco.
They're in the same genus; they're not literally the same species.
Potato = solanum tuberosum
Tomato = solanum lycopersicum
Aubergine/eggplant = solanum melongena, an old-world plant. There's also various other edible nightshade species in Australia, if that counts.
Lemons existed in New Kingdom Egypt (~1500 BC). If they were hybridised deliberately by humans (which is still up for debate—citrus fruits hybridise naturally as well), I think it's ancient enough that we can forgive it. If not, then you better get ready to also throw out wheat, oats, barley, rye, and rice from your worldbuilding!
>you better get ready to also throw out wheat, oats, barley, rye, and rice from your worldbuilding!
God bless the return of the one true staple crop - the TURNIP.
Yes, Baldrick, thanks for your astute observation.
Aren't like 40% of the greens we eat, broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, brusslesprouts, lettuice, kale, spinach and all that all the same plant as well, wild mustard or something.
>included tings in my ting but not sets
Oh mon
The whole potato thing is overblown. It's not like having potatoes led, say, the Russians to changing their social structure in any way whatsoever. They were miserable and oppressed peasants ruled by a cartoonishly evil nobility, and so they remained. Potatoes come, potatoes pass, and Russia remains a shithole.
Why would your setting be ruled by local lords if their biggest weakness literally grows from the ground in patches? It's like arbitrarily having a common weed that negates magic in D&D.
How is a potato a lord's biggest weakness?
Why do you think mudcore settings are so adverse to potatoes, and every setting that does introduce them coincides with local lords immediately losing prominence?
It's obviously because potatoes are poison to local lords.
IIRC potatoes had a disproportionate impact on history because they cannot easily be stolen by passing armies, making villages more survivable against war
What are you fricking talking about, Jesus Christ you obsessed fricking television watcher, why would Russia even come to mind, and not fricking Ireland? Russia had famines because communists took over their society, not because of potato monoculture or anything gay like that.
Russia has always had famines. It had Famines in the Days of the Tsars, it had Famines in the days of the Communists; there was even a brief post-soviet famine in 2010.
'Corn' is still a generic term, the specific term for the 'yellow on a cob' is Maize',
Zesty.
Best option is to include no real fruits in your setting. Have fun correcting you players with food names none of them can pronounce.
Also no other real plants, or real animals, for that matter. Including humans, of course. OP best out some effort into the verisimilitude of his fantasy setting, with no suspicious and unexplained similarities to the real world.
Hey, at least you dodged the potato. So what colour are your pigs anyway?
I'm running Dogs in the Vineyard and I need more ideas for secret sins people have that could be inviting in demonic influences. A good way to start is to think of the cardinal 7 (greed, pride, wrath, sloth, gluttony, lust, envy) then get specific with how they're abusing it.
Anyway if people want to suggest ideas I'm game to scoop them up.
Here you go anon, straight from the top of my head.
>greed
Failed merchant that wants to get rich so he can make another try.
>pride
A pompous dandy who hails from a plantation family and wants to enslave some of the locals.
>wrath
A very lost mexican who is very, VERY angry about his height.
>sloth
Lazy aging farmer who views a bum leg as an excuse to let his fields lay fallow and his family starve.
>gluttony
Desperate thug who wants prime rib-eye every day and took to cattle rustling to make it happen.
>lust
Surly roaming physician who happens to be gay, and in the absence of any partners, is prone to drugging and raping young men.
>envy
Bitter cripple from birth who sits in a wheelchair, uses the sympathy locals give him to spread malicious rumours about travelers.
Jesus, what's wrong with you.
Next you'll tell us you had strawberries and potatoes.
Or corn!
>corn
Sir, you go too far!
>strawberries
>alpine and wild muk strawberries which is by flavor closest to artificial concentrate because those are based on it instead of the american hybrid that tried to replicate their taste but faster, larger and with a more stable acid level and sucrose consistency
>alpine likely also the literal source of a good chunk of modern new world strawberries by genetics
>the stone age trace most found snack and even by neanderthal eaten strawberries
>The lemon was first recorded in literature in a 10th-century Arabic treatise on farming and was also used as an ornamental plant in early Islamic gardens.
Except that they were describing malbred/bad condition grown mandarins and by europe already hybridized citrus fruits as can be greek and chinese (and fricking later on french) records of Anatolian and then post crusades re-opened silk road trade charters.
>Be me
>D&D game in progress themed on the 16th or 17th century. I have depicted cannons and firearms regularly
>Players are sailing on a sloop(using the layout from saltmarsh) which is capable of interoceanic travel
>Included an ambassador from the fantasy equivalent of the Iroquois as a minor character in some political intrigue
>Players have spent about a third of their time fighting slavers who are clearly doing an equivalent of the transatlantic slave trade
>Someone complains when I mention corn imports
Turns out players just don't pay attention to worldbuilding
Seatravel is always portrayed as more advanced
Realismgays literally never know anything about reality
Yep. The people who tend to shout loudest about things not being historically accurate tend to be the most historically illiterate. And also moronic since it's fantasy. If I say that tomatoes are an old world crop in my setting, then they're an old world crop.
Why do people get salty when a fantasy world loosely based on a real life era and place isn't exactly like that era or place? Surely if you wanted a game that emulates earth in its entirety you'd play one set on earth
I find it funny how for seemingly large amount of people existence of wizards, demons, and undead is fine but tomatoes or potatoes? That's just way too fantastical! No way a fantasy world might have plants growing in different regions than on Earth. In fact, if we go with that line of thinking, how do we explain humans, wolves, wheat, and any number of other Earth organisms existing in a fantasy world? It's not Earth, so plants and animals found on Earth, whether Europe or America, are clearly out of place!
My game takes place in the pre-flood era so global trade was still a thing before being the great Deluge wiped all the great civilizations away.
Neat. Tell us more?
>fantasy world has bananas
>they look like the manmade commercial clone bananas instead of natural wild bananas
>hand draw a map of the region for my players.
>rivers and mountains are not geologically accurate.
>tfw I fail to account for the gravitational effects of a second moon on the tides and therefore the effects on the coastlines
>tfw my dwarf stat blocks don't consider the physiological effects of living exclusively off of mushrooms and meat
>His Dwarfs need to eat food instead of just absorbing the nutrients they need from ambient magic, hence why they are resistant to spells.
life is suffering.
Why the FRICK hasn’t anyone posted denethor’s tomato ejaculate yet?
Sorry guys, I won’t ask next time
I got warned for "troll posts" for posting this, and I genuinely don't understand why. I'm not even complaining; I'm just confused. Are you not allowed to post pictures from that video or something?
Technically it comes under the gore rule.
I suppose that makes sense. But I've seen plenty of people post the same image and not get deleted.
rules are enforced inconsistently, what gets you in trouble one day will be just fine another time
>Realize that despite what I named my countries, I don't know the difference between a kingdom and an empire.
Literally nothing except how the country wants itself to be perceived. One technical distinction you could use is that an empire usually has direct client states while a kingdom usually doesn't, but even that's not a hard rule.
well its not nothing. its more of a soft spectrum. you could point to something and have a pretty clear picture of weither empire or kingdom is a more fitting term.
king has much more conotations of ruling over a certain people, while empire is much more ruling over various people. Empire also implies a more dominant international political position and expanding territorial claim. You wouldnt call the mongol empire the mongol kingdom, and you are more likely to call American dominance American imperialism.
I should clarify that when I say the terms are arbitrary, I meant in terms of how they were used by the people who used them, not that they aren't useful from an outside perspective. For example, the eastern roman empire still pretended to be an empire and not a kingdom (indeed, even a rather petty kingdom) for centuries after "empire" ceased to be a particularly accurate description.
Just make empire above kingdom in rank same way duchy is bellow kingdom
Having a country name that's wildly inaccurate is very historically sound.
True. The holy roman empire was not one of those three things.
Just do a Tolkien and say that these english words are being used for fictional near-equivalents rather than making up a new word that the reader wouldn't know.
And the whole thing is a badly written travelogue by one of the players who survives. One of the annoying ones.
They'll all know who you mean.
>alas that these evil maize should be mine
Giggled out loud
Just saw your thread on teevee anon, i appreciate my 5 sec photoshop resonated with you so much
>Let this be the hour when we draw squash together
>I take my leaf
>We shall have papaya, when the lives of the soldiers whose bodies were hewn even as they died against the gates of the Hornberg, are avenged!
>It's all going dark again, and my achiote is so cold.
etc, etc
>deliberately included cell phones in mine
>named my cities and towns made up fantasy names that translate to stuff like “fish creek” and “tall hill”
>already established that the country has had a precise language for centures, and therefore it would make more sense to just use “Fish Creek”
>already hand drew and traced in pen the maps with the made up names used
>already established that the country has had a precise language for centures,
*Centuries.
Also, if that's the case, you can explain it by saying that so much time passed, and thus language changed, that people forgot what the name mean originally and started using it as a proper name.
From a distance this looked like a chart for different kinds of poop.
>TFW nobody's selling those potatoes that taste like sweet chestnut.
Anon do you know how many words have left the English lexicon in the last hundred years alone? Frick, this thread is technically about one of them: "corn" didn't refer exclusively to the yellow shit that comes on a cob until 1800 something.
Either have the names be holdovers from an archaic root language, or make it such that there's some technical nuance between the two words that the layperson wouldn't care to understand.
The English language is full of this. I spent last weekend in the Lake District looking at some lovely ghylls. What's a ghyll? It's just an old word for ravine.
Unless your swords and sorcery setting is Earth, I don't see why this matters.
You gotta have something to do if you're not playing games, why not b***h?
>his fantasy setting has plants and animals native to earth
>in my swords and sorcery setting
is your setting LITERALLY earth?, no?, then there ain't no problem my goober
the eastern half of the world only draws tomatoes ... never lemons. the shit blindsides them everytime - and until they learn they will continue to die.
Wait, I know what lemons(and other citrus) means in that context, but what is tomatoes?
Tomatoes are a new world fruit.
IIRC lemons aren't their own distinct fruit, they were created by humans from crossbreeding different fruit together.
Additionally, broccoli, cauliflower, kale, cabbage, brussels sprouts, collard greens, and kohlrabi are all cultivars of the same plant species. It's more obvious for some of them since the cabbage head, brussels sprout and broccoli/cauliflower buds are all the same structure, just grown to different sizes.
Could've worse anon.
At least you haven't been in a table that discussed for more than half an hour how much coffee would cost it [fantasy setting].
Just tell your players that a wizard made them.
>player described character with haircut that isnt period accurate
>finish explaining the history of hair styling
>describes mixed fabric clothing
why cant players put a little effort into it?
>Setting is a 1650s Central Mediterranean analogue
>Bard player describes sitting at a piano at the inn
>Let it slide as we're at least in the right century
>Bard player describes playing a perfect key change, rousing the patrons
>I explain that, due to the limits of pythagorean tuning, a key change is functionally impossible and renders the piece un-listenable to the patrons
I swear I'm the only one who has looked at my 400 page setting primer.
?si=fzbFnGeGuk-9CAAD
>viking setting
>add corn
Didn't the vikings historically make landfall in North America, though?
>viking setting
>add horns
>viking setting
>add Gorn
>viking setting
>add corn
>a quarter of my setting doc is explaining the artificial evolutionary history of all the New World crops native to the vikinglands
>viking setting
>add Xipe Totec
Lemons aren't from America though
Lemons are supposed to have entered Europe near southern Italy no later than the second century AD, during the time of Ancient Rome.[2] They were later introduced to Persia and then to Iraq and Egypt around 700 AD.[2] The lemon was first recorded in literature in a 10th-century Arabic treatise on farming and was also used as an ornamental plant in early Islamic gardens.[2] It was distributed widely throughout the Arab world and the Mediterranean region between 1000 and 1150.[2] An article on Lemon and lime tree cultivation in Andalusia, Spain, is brought down in Ibn al-'Awwam's 12th-century agricultural work, Book on Agriculture.[18]
The first substantial cultivation of lemons in Europe began in Genoa in the middle of the 15th century.
Because no classic fantasy world would ever have tomates. That would just be way too unbelievable and completely ruin EVERYTHING
Well, man's gotta eat.
I mean, what happens in fantasy is they always go low detail (he ate a plate of yams) to inventing compound words (another piece of Yamatoes and Limeberries pie please barkeep)...
Don't worry about that stuff so much. Halflings probably grow amazing fricking tomatoes.
>there is magic and dragons and other planes of existence
>but the potatoes really take me out of it