As a reward for clearing the skeletons out of the castle, your party has been given a herd of thirty grown pigs.
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As a reward for clearing the skeletons out of the castle, your party has been given a herd of thirty grown pigs.
Excellent. We'll hire a peasant to herd them as we travel, so we can periodically enjoy fresh pork far from civilization.
Most exquisite. Our cleric removes the curse from them turning the herd of pigs into a squad of knights.
Thanks, Circe.
You're welcome Odysseus
We release them in the elvish countryside to cause havoc in the elvish ecosystem.
They could just hunt them down and eat them you know.
>leaf-breathed tree-sleepers
>hunt
don't make me laugh
They could lure the pigs into pens and castrate them while making them pets until they die of old age.
>Elves
>Not Hunt
They're Elves, they will gladly commit cannibalism before eating a salad.
Bosmer are mer not real elves.
>
And the Dwarf Fortress elves?
You seem to be confusing 'elves' with 'humans', pic related
Elves are a race of warriors and hunters that make weapons with hate baked right into the metal.
Not all of them.
Not before they eat all of the eggs of the rare Emerald Sparrowtoad.
>We release 4 hogs, each painted with a corresponding number: 1, 2, 4, 5
>The Elves will run themselves ragged for the next century trying to track down hog number 3
Devilish.
the Thalmor brings in a bound, bloodied rabbit who screams ''STOP BEATING ME! STOP BEATING ME! I'M HOG 3! I'M HOG 3!''
Turn them into an army of man-pig soldiers and send them to attack the castle and take the gold the bastard owe us.
We glady accept them if we're playing as bronze age shitters with no concept of currency in Runequest. Otherwise
90 gold for clearing out a whole castle? maybe if we are level 1 and its a motte and bailey or id expect better
Maybe they were just in the cellar/dungeon? I doubt he'd hire an adventuring party to clear a whole castle of skeletons, at that point it's a full on siege
>one pig was worth 3 coins of solid gold
doubt it
gold value in most ttrpgs is orders of magnitude lower than in real life (including, but not exclusive to, every edition of D&D)
Why can't games just use other metals like silver and copper
Dragonlance used steel instead
the average player has no idea what gold is worth but thinks gold coins are a standard currency so its what they expect to see; they'd be mildly upset if everything was copper and silver
that or the devs don't know either
in my D&D games I use the silver standard, where you just downgrade prices by 1 metal, and platinum doesnt exist as a currency
for copper pieces I use copper "bits" which are just much smaller coins like pennies
1 gp > 1 sp > 1 cp > 1 cb
>I am autistic and I'm doing Realism (tm) in my games, despite nobody, but me, gives a frick
Your players are at this point all damaged goods and potentially looking for excuses to just bolt. If you tormented them long enough, they might even lose their survival instinct by now
Frick, forgot to post the image
I like the old 1 gold = 10 silver and 1 silver = 10 copper
so gold = 100 copper coins, simple enough,so if you can buy a fruit with a copper then one gold coin would give you one hundred apples, now THAT is gold being treated like something valuable
thats what the silver standard is, but instead of
pp > gp > sp > cp
its
gp > sp > cp > cb
Why not make the most basic coin iron?
1 gold = 10 silver = 100 copper = 1000 iron coins
because iron is a useful metal
you dont make currencies out of useful metals
I use a barter system with israeliteelry & horses being the biggest way of trading wealth. So you wear a bunch of rings or bangles or necklaces & just pop off smaller bits for small expenses, & throw a whole ring or bangle or whatever for bigger one
Fantastic
I took the noble background so we send most back to my family's lands for a nice bumper crop
The few we keep will be for trap testing/bacon
Find the runt of the bunch and make him the party mascot. We'll make him Christopher Penelope Bacon, Esquire.
This is huge. The swine are a replenishing source of income, of food, capital.
You can even keep one from each litter aside for sacrifice. This is worth more than a mere sack of coin that'd be spent on prostitutes and ale.
This is perfect. Now I only need an Onlyfans account and I'm set for life.
>herd
that would be a sounder, moron
Damn, the King promised a reward, not untold riches!
How are pigs sooo cute??
It's probably their pink skin.
Humans also find big noses cute for some reason; it's unintuitive, because most of the things we find cute are traits that babies have, and babies have proportionally small noses.
One of the major reasons people like cats
But even the ones with colored fur are cute.
I don't like cats at all even if they like me, it is weird.
Cats are drawn to people who don't like cats. They're dicks.
Maybe they are kinda baby like, but in overall body rather than their piggy faces?
Domestic animals do tend to show neotenic traits.
And they do kinda look like toddlers.
A swine has the int range and emotional range of a 6 year old child. In real life.
thats especially true for pigs, if they are released in the wild they grow thicker fur and tusks
>babies have proportionally small noses.
Perfect for stealing.
g-give it back!
I shall call my banner men & chase you to the ends of the earth to return that baby's nose
sensible chuckle
The snout tricks you into thinking they have small mouths and big expressive eyes, ezpz cute thing design. It's why warthogs are ugly, beyond the uneven skin, is that the tusks break the illusion.
But warthogs are cute too and they have funny headshapes...
Prove it then
post an actual warthog not a cartoon one
Checkmate!
It looks like a single mom in 90% humidity
Dumb, ugly, and crocodile food
Is it cheating to post the babies?
>war thog
>Does not wage war
>is not a thug
Stupid name.
>has warts (I think)
>is hog
Think again court jester
Holy frick I'm moronic. At least I learned something today.
I can't believe this guy wasn't baiting!
Because it's wart hog.
Nta but I can kinda see it, they can be cute in a way
Warthogs are kind of ugly cute. The noises help out a lot.
They smell like us
They taste like us too
There was a time where we would use valves for hearts harvested from our swine brothers.
I'm fairly sure we still do that whenever the synthetic valves are unavailable
If pigs are so cute, why do eat them?
>The party Warlock becomes over-excited and must be discreetly escorted out of the royal chambers or risk a situation.
>"Thirty pigs can summon a lot of Demons or one very large Demon."
use magic to turn them into giant boars to drag the party's war sleds
/tg/ - Animals & Nature
i frick the pigs
Excellent, we can rent them out to various towns or cities to supplement their town guard forces and assist in policing the populace. They'll blend right in.
Would it be moral to herd the pigs into danger say to detect floor traps?
Probably more moral than using the local village idiots like I do when I don't have access to summons.
If your pigs are the ones in
, then yes, definitely.
I build two shacks, one for males and one for females and under 6 month year old pigs. I also hit the woods looking for stuff that looks like acorns or is acorn like. I start hiting the barrac kitchen and buy vegetable peals from them. If possible (aka there is land to rent from someone), I build a hedge and let the pig dig (lowers stress, meat is more lean and tastes better). If the party has someone that can charm animals, I try to convince them get me 1-2 boars for winter season. If there is magic in the setting, then I hire one of the mages to get heat lamps, Piglets when they are born grown better if there is a heat lamp above them.
I contract alocal farmer to sell him manure (this will be a steady income. A pig produces around 60kg of manure per month, with 30 I would have 1,8t of manure per month, That is good money. I would probably keep some to start vegetable garden, especialy if the heat lamps were a thing.
all in all it would be fun, like going back to the 1980s and working on gramps farm again. Good times. And acorn fed pork is the best meat in the world. Especialy from halflings(the boar/swin mix).
Rural work? running a kitchen for the troops? Cleaning the castle. I can think of many things.
>work
We syphoned over 20k rural workers from Uganda and Chad in the last 6 years. They work here for 12-16 months, and then are "sold" to companies that hire them out to work in western europe, after they have an EU work permit.
they mostly work for Bonduelle, If it works in real life, it can work in an RPG setting too.
Sleep tight pigger
Nice, now we can settle down and start a farm.
Wow it's fricking useless! I guess we can sell them for 3 GP each and use the money to buy something actually useful.
We reveal ourselves to be a stronger party of skeletons!
Rattle em bois!
Neat.
I immediately release four families of them into the countryside, hoping they'll proliferate in the alien landscape, ensuring that there will be pigs for future generations and colonials.
We take the rest with us as a source of mobile foodware and/or pets.
Sell them on the local market and move on. If not present, sell them to the innkeeper.
innkeeper will only pay 10% of their market value
... so what? Sell them anyway. The point is to get rid of them, pocket whatever money they are offering and move on
>b-but cheap!
Yeah, and you were given those for free, so what really happened was your GM being moronic and short-changing the party for the sake of ill-conceived "immersion", as understood by mudcore fetishist that's also a stingy bastard
time to barter them for some cows.
so 90gp
thats nothing
>90 gp is nothing
>1 cp is technically something
Yeah possessing it can land you in jail.
Uh wasn't that the cp we were talking about?
An economy of CSAM would certainly explain the guys who are found with 1 terabyte of it.
>9000 pounds of wheat
Remind me, what's your encumbrance limit?
>A herd of pigs
Awww sweet. Non monetary rewards are always far more interesting because it implies the DM is open to more open ended gameplay.
I frick the pigs. One by one. Seven a day.
I revive the skeletons so I can get thirty more
Good, we can bring them to that guy that's possessed by a bunch of demons.
Can I cuddle the pig?
We shall dine well for some time.
YAH! *Slaps swine on ass.*
It's too late. These pigs have all been fattened up. They may look fine now, but it's only a matter of time until they turn into bacon. This entire herd must be purged.
Let's send these deserters back to their homeland. They have a country to defend.
Sounds like a great economic windfall for the party. We take them back to our growing fortress city.
what utter hogwash
> give thirty pigs
> why do I have over 40 black women???
Bro learn to math