Baldur's Gate 3 thred

How do I play this game without getting horny?

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  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Is there like a mod to turn all female characters into males or something?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      by not being a gooner, legit all "females" are hideous beasts.

      thats the default though. you would have to mod the game to make them look female or decent.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >you would have to mod the game to make them look female or decent.

        Guess I'm just thirsty then

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        the goth one is the only hot one

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >legit all "females" are hideous beasts.
        Obvious troll, Lae'zel is pure beauty.

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Lae'zel has big feminine areola and you want to suck on them anon

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      She also has the hottest voice and the prettiest eyes.

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Be a straight male, as nearly all the women in this game are mid.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      A straight male is always horny thats a bad advice

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >mid
      Zoom harder, zoomie

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        mid is probably one of the most easily understandable slang terms to come out of this decade and getting bent out of shape about it is childish. you're only in yours 20s/30s and you so desperately want to be an out of touch old man

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >all the women in this game are mid.

      midweight maybe for an american whale gamer

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >not getting aroused by mid women
      You're not straight

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    this homie attracted to the grinch hahahaha

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous
    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Kek

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        You're trying too hard

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Ye I feel you I mean you cant even have a decent all male group.

    >gay wizard
    >Black person
    >gay vampire
    >zoophile druid
    >bald psycho that you get at the end of act 3

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The women aren't any better really

      >the only conventionally attractive one but she wants to cuck you
      >an b***hy frog creature
      >a le quirky bulldyke
      >a grandma on her period

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        What about the drow?

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Easily.

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    FROG

    BASEBALL

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Best melee class? Fighter seems boring as frick. How is barbarian?

  10. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Laezel and Shadowheart have been creampied dozens of time before you could stick your wiener in them.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Karlach pussy is safest (heat kills the germs)

  11. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The dead squid can point to you as its killer even if you use a disguise spell so I give the game 1/10

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >disguise spell

      You didn't disguise your mind foolish mortal. You wouldn't survive the sword coast

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >disguise spell

      You didn't disguise your mind foolish mortal. You wouldn't survive the sword coast

      Lol i tried using detect thoughts on Emperor once and got outfricking skilled

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        he just laughs at you because all your communication with him is already through thought

  12. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >How do I play this game without getting horny?
    You jerk off before playing.

  13. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I love Shadowheart.

  14. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I'm not one to join far right theories from this site. But i have to say anything i have seen about the way this game portrays sex does nothing for me. I'm glad some LGBT people have some AAA game to lust after or whatever. But it all feels like a carefully fabricated socially acceptable version of what seduction or consensual sex looks like.

    Everything looks way too clean and everybody is too explicitly happy and in control all the time with the constant smirking and giving each other for granted all the time. I think I have a fairly health sex life, and I just don't buy it.

    Not even gonna mention how the tit sizes look everything but diverse in this game. But that's a different subject and I have not seen enough.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      What the frick are you talking about. So you have not played the game? The sexual/romantic content is extremely overplayed here, or in far-right spaces. It's not even 1% of the game, it's something you can miss entirely if you don't seek it.
      And man, don't talk about your sex life. This is Dungeons & Dragons, not Tinder.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It was OP who brought up the horniness of the game. It's also been a matter of discussion since the game came out and I just wanted to discuss my opinion on what I had seen in that regard.

        I'm sure the game itself is very good and that the sex part is just a small side thing.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I'm playing the game these days and between what's real and what's talked about on Ganker there's a whole dimension apart. The only true thing that was ever mentioned by detractors of the game here is the lack of gameplay .webms but it's also not very interesting because it's a technical game with little bits scattered all over the screen and the dialogues are too contextual to accurately portray the game. You can still find Shadowheart ripping ass and the scene where you can kick the squirrel on /wsg/ but apart from that it's not captivating to watch. Playing it is the shit though, it's like having sex with angels.
          I don't understand why you wanted to give your opinion, it's fine but if you haven't played it you're missing the point. I can just say "no dude", because it's a wrong opinion. There's no rightful portrayal of the game on /v. I'm gonna frick off this thread now because all BG3 discussions online make me uncomfortable. The only correct opinion on this game is if you played it, and when you play it you instantly understand what the developers were going with.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I think you misinterpreted me. I would like to play the game because from what i've seen, it sounds like its quite good.

            I was just referring to everything i've seen about sex in the game. I'm sorry if that made you upset.

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Right I get it now. You noticed I instantly went "what the frick".

              I can tease you the dating sim experience in the game: the characters aren't easy to get, they drop hints and flirts and sometimes they say "yes no maybe". I don't play for the dating sim aspect. Depends how good you roleplay, it's a D&D game.
              It's like real life, depends on the character, their personality and yours. That's why I say unless you have played it, with no example of dialogue that takes several hours to play out, you can't really know what really happens, even if you watch a playthrough on Youtube. Sometimes there are dice rolls, there's also RNG in how the relationships progress.

              It's not safe-horny or safe-consensual, it's actually well made.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Okay, I see. I guess without context, those webms seem a bit meh.

                >I would like to play the game
                play it then you massive homosexual

                Gift me a steam key homosexual. I'm broke.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Stop being poor.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Make me. Unironically.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >most reptiles and birds are born with a boney or tooth like protrusion in their chins to help them get out of the egg
                >said protrusion falls off or is reabsorbed back into the body shortly after
                >Durge still has his
                Lmao what a baby lizard

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >I would like to play the game
              play it then you massive homosexual

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >The sexual/romantic content is extremely overplayed here
        bro the wizard and the vampire hit on my guy 10min after welcoming them to the party
        idk if they fixed this, but it was extremely easy to get the romance options compared to the actual women

  15. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >without getting horny
    Become a troony (cut your dick off)

  16. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Realize its 150gbs

  17. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    People welcome in this thread:
    >Froggo bros
    >Blueberry enjoyers
    >Mama K's big boys

    People not welcome in this thread:
    >Shartcucks

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      People welcome in this thread:
      >Blueberry enjoyers
      >Mama K's big boys

      People not welcome in this thread:
      >Shartcucks
      >Toadcucks

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      all pepes should be replaced by laezel, lol.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        B A S E D

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      enjoyers
      Minthara is shit she's like a 40 year old woman.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >he doesn't like fertile drow mommies
        lol, lmao even

  18. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    inb4 our best friend shows up

  19. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I already beat the game twice. What more is there to even do? There wont be DLC or a 4th game. Modding is still in the baby stages.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This.
      I'll probably drop a third playthrough when they stop updating the game, slap some light mods and be done with it. Minthara content is still lacking and act 3 is still rushed. I can look past that but not for the fourth or fifth time.

      *ahem*

      Karlach is my wife.

      That is all.

      Based and Mama K pilled.

  20. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I loved this game. It would be so much better without all the characters trying to jump into your bed though.
    >"hey, wanna see my big magic wand?"
    >FRICK OFF GALE, i'm only your friend
    >"okay, understood!"
    >...
    >"hey, wanna see a magic trick?"
    FRICK
    OFF
    GALE

  21. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    *ahem*

    Karlach is my wife.

    That is all.

  22. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    today i will remind them

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This is why you pick Minthara and conquer the world with her, both by your sword and your seed.

  23. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Lae'zel, my love
    https://files.catbox.moe/y0efqd.png

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >baldurs gay trannies are also furries

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Wait what mod lets you princess carry companions? I NEED it.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Lae'zel, my love
        https://files.catbox.moe/y0efqd.png

        answer me

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      answer my god damn question jesus fricking christ

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Oh, my bad, I left the thread for a bit
        Sex framework, its more of a pose than a holding/walking thing. Also you need to be the right body size

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          do you have to be body type 4 for the princess carry?

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Yeah whichever one is the larger male should do it. The other one will make the two characters just hold each other as they are standing.

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              that sucks I don't like the bigger body type

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                If it makes you feel any better, the framework works better with two average sized characters, the holding is just an idle pose before the sex.

  24. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You stop being an unkissed degenerate

  25. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why i ll get horny playing a rpg?

  26. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    some of the romance stuff in the game is "cute" but none of it actually made me horny

  27. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The Japanese version has censorship. It also a physical copy so if you cant control yourself you can always put it on facebook marketplace.

  28. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I wonder why the woke mob thinks Baldur's Gate 3 and Hades 2 are amazing, but they hate Stellar Blade. Is it because they're racist and they just hate Asian media? Is this the JRPG hate wave of the late 2000s again, but this time with sex?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Is it because they're racist and they just hate Asian media?
      Yes, being racist is based, and Asians are subhuman

  29. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Make an ugly char? I was going to say I haven't ever jacked it to anyone apart from Tav in the game, but I have done it to NPCs from Kagha to Thulla so I guess I only have a partial answer to your question

  30. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Still haven't beaten the game. Been dragging my feet all through act 3. Partially because the main city runs like shit on my PC for whatever reason, partially because the quests just feel unfocused but in a way that doesn't feel like an adventure?

    Like, you can do so much shit in Act 1 but for whatever reason stumbling on that shit felt fun whereas I'm getting dragged into political shit in Act 3

    I know I can just mainline the quests but that feels like a waste so now I'm doing all the shit.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >question mark at the end of a statement
      >reddit spacing
      please just go back

  31. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Is there reverse fetal alcohol syndrome in that universe? Where your mother drinks so much you get double philtrum instead of none?

  32. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    There's a vtuber on Twitch currently having an interview with six of the voice actors from Baldur's Gate.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      link?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        https://www.twitch.tv/harukakaribu
        It's been going on for almost two hours now, they're winding down now.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >no Shadowheart VA
          meh, don't care

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          no minthy

  33. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >failed a roll to heal the young owlbear's paw and didn't save before I did 2 hours of inventory rearrangement
    >tfw have to live with this decision now
    I know it's a game, but frick, man. Gonna be thinking about this until I go to bed tonight.

  34. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    *That* makes you horny?

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