>be playing D&D, a traditional game

>game starts in a tavern
>i try to talk to the bartender
>DM: Please wait a while before talking to the bartender
>DM then sets an eggtimer for five minutes and leaves the table
Is this what happens when your DM does it for free? How do I even respond without sounding mad?

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  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >i'm going to go jerk-off in the bathroom for five minutes
    >DM: the tavern only has an outhouse
    >who said anything about the tavern?

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    what exactly is this schizophrenic babble meant to imply

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Same

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You got off lucky. Usually my DM makes the bartender a big titty self insert (DM is a man, mind you) and the bartender talks your ear off about dumb shit. Like, teleport us to the dungeon already, DUDE.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Freckles or no deal.

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    D&D isn't a game, nor is any other system that follows its mentality.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >D&D isn't a game,
      wut

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        D&D is a role playing

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    making threads with youtube thumbnails should be a bannable offense

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >we get to the dungeon
    >finally get to the loot
    >DM had us all roll a d100
    >buddy rolls a 100, gets a +2 sword
    >rest of us just get mundane gear and gold
    >dm offers each of us a reroll for $0.99
    Problem with free games is this predatory pricing BS. But oh well a reroll or two is cheaper than a paid dm

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    no, that's what happens when your gm is shit.
    get a new gm if yours is a moron who can't even improvise a damn bartender.

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >the list has an oxford comma but does not have a comma between the first and second element
    >the list uses "and" to connect each element
    >the list does not follow parallel structure to such a degree that it is incoherent if reordered
    >the second line uses passive voice when active voice would be objectively easier to parse and more concise
    >the final line uses non-words like "inb4"
    >the final line uses quotation marks without quoting anyone or defining a term
    >the commas are outside the quotation marks
    >the final sentence does not have a predicate
    >the final sentence does not have a period
    jannies, take him away

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You are my writing nerd hero.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      thanks for alerting the jannies, now the rest of us don't get to read and critique it. fricking tourist

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >What's behind my DM screen
    A huge homosexual is the universally correct answer for anyone who uses a screen.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >let the players read my game notes from across the table
      no, i don't think i will

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        You can read upside down?

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          You can't?

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          ˙ɥƃnɐl puɐ ɯiɥ ʇɐ ʞoo˥
          ˙uʍop ǝpisdn pɐǝɹ uǝʌǝ ʇ,uɐɔ uouɐ siɥ

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      many such cases

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >using a dm screen for anything but hiding the minis you are going too put on the table later in the session
    I bet he doesn't even improvise everything

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