Cleric thread

Where my fellow god-botherers at?

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  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    someday I'll convince my friends to run an all-cleric party
    someday

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      This honestly sounds fun.
      Like you're all clerics, that have been summoned to an ecumenical council called by the pope equivalent. You have to make the thousand mile journey, and not kill your fellow clerics for being filthy vestarians. When you arrive, you can do a bunch of politicking, theological debates, murder mysteries etc. Maybe get sent out on missions but higher ranking clerics.

      Are you a bad enough dudes to successfully navigate church politics, and reconcile a church schism?

  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous
  3. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >tfw always play cleric because the party always needs one
    >tfw always take the opportunity to be cute

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Do warpriests count?

      Same, Cleric's or something similar are usually my go to, been trying to branch out a bit recently, but I like playing things that can heal and buff to some degree
      And I always try to make him the cutest boy in the party

      [...]

      [...]
      Based and true. Can confirm that whenever anyone I've ever played with has thought they were "cute", they were unequivocally the most annoying attention-prostitute in the group, and usually the worst about keeping their fetishes in their pants.

      What if it's the other players and DM who keeps calling your characters cute?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        I’m not so sure anon, don’t get me wrong, your warpriest is very cute, adorable even. But is he cuter than the occultist half-dragon? I think not!

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          ...Alright, I'll admit you got me there, he's cuter, for now

          [...]
          >his cleric isn't a grumpy man in his 50s

          My attempts to make a healer in Traveler ended up sorta like that, he wan't grumpy but he was in his 50s at least

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Do warpriests count?

      Same, Cleric's or something similar are usually my go to, been trying to branch out a bit recently, but I like playing things that can heal and buff to some degree
      And I always try to make him the cutest boy in the party

      [...]
      [...]
      What if it's the other players and DM who keeps calling your characters cute?

      >his cleric isn't a grumpy man in his 50s

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Whenever our group takes on randos, I always target "cute" shitters first and aim to kill them off right away with the worst DM fiats possible. The rest of the group knows I do this. Should I just kick you right from the start? Probably, but it's amusement to all of us to see you homosexuals have meltdowns about your anime waifus dying.

      Anyway,

      [...]

      and

      [...]
      Based and true. Can confirm that whenever anyone I've ever played with has thought they were "cute", they were unequivocally the most annoying attention-prostitute in the group, and usually the worst about keeping their fetishes in their pants.

      are right. You homosexuals are annoying and nobody thinks your waifu anime shit is "cute".

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        While I agree animeshitters are obnoxious, you do sound a bit like an butthole.
        Why not just not let them in your games? It seems like a lot of effort just to make some moron seethe and run off to whatever hugbox they have to run some degenerate weeb game. Not to mention it might frick up your credibility as a DM with other randos.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Clerics are heavily armored gruff bible thumping buttholes (male), it's Paladins and Fighters who get to be cute

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Best tastes

  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    We play 1974 OD&D, as per Philotomy's Musings and there are only three (four) classes, Fighting Men, Magic-Users and Clerics (Anti-Clerics). So Clerics are a lot more common for us than most later editions. It's worth noting, the class itself originated in the game, not as a priest, not as a healer, not as a templar, but as a vampire hunter, essentially Van Helsing. This is taken into account for us as well, our Clerics range from priests and templars to eastern lamas and western monster hunters to evil cultists.

  5. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    Based and true. Can confirm that whenever anyone I've ever played with has thought they were "cute", they were unequivocally the most annoying attention-prostitute in the group, and usually the worst about keeping their fetishes in their pants.

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >be cleric for the 17th time
    >Haven't done these domains before let's try them
    >Backstory prewritten with choice of god
    >Buff the party
    >Shoulder to shoulder with the fighter
    >Casting them spells with the wizard
    >Undead or demons? I got this
    >Heal the party
    >NPC I like is sick/cursed/dead? Nah not on my watch
    >I fricking love playing clerics

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >be me
      >cleric
      >get a Throne card out of a Deck of Many Things
      >the small castle takes the form of a fortified monastery
      >use it to protect refugees from the hobgoblin raids on outlying towns

      So very based and saviorpilled.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >finally have 5th level spells
      haha flame strike go fwoosh

  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >be me
    >cleric
    >get a Throne card out of a Deck of Many Things
    >the small castle takes the form of a fortified monastery
    >use it to protect refugees from the hobgoblin raids on outlying towns

  8. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >tfw no deep theological explorations
    It takes the right kind of group, IMO. At the least a good gang of Dunsany readers.

  9. 2 years ago
    Anonymous
  10. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Here's my cleric with trade domain.

  11. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    you homosexuals are the most uninspired people I ever seen. No wonder /tg/ is a dead board

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Thanks nogame homosexual. Care to enlighten us with your your totally epic non-cringe stories? Or are you just here to b***h about something you don't even participate in?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        terminal no games apply christgay logic to pagan fantasy settings. Real gamers generally play a wide variety of classes while /tg/ "gamers" only have one story to tell because the only one that've been assed to make up on the spot, hitting all the cliches while offering nothing unique or interesting.
        The youtube algoriythm chasing slime has drenched these lands, covering it with it's rancid ichor

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >pagan fantasy settings
          It's really not, D+D religion is in many cases just a series of monotheisms rather than proper polytheism. That's how you get moronic shit like people claiming they're "a follower of Asmodeus" or "a follower of Pelor" despite the fact that in real polytheism, you venerate each god in their proper place. Like you would venerate Pelor at feasts and during the Pelympics, while you would do worship to Asmodeus during business deals and if you wanted your rival to die.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Part of the problem, is that D&D has this polytheistic setting, but clerics as a class we're very much based on Christian priests. Holy water, turning on dead (vampires fear the cross), and a bunch of other motifs are all Christian ones.

            Things get more complicated when you add druids in, as a pseudo pagan nature priest type.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            It wasn't that common in the West outside of the Hellenistic tradition, but henotheism and monolatry were/are totally a thing IRL.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >What is henotheism

  12. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Currently playing a Dwarven cleric in my family tabletop game. He's good bros with the other dwarf character, who's a monk.

  13. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    My current character is a Dragonborn cleric of the storm god who’s a dragon, and he’s basically an archaeologist for ancient artifacts that should be returned to the church

  14. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I have exclusively played clerics in D&D.

  15. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Remember when Clerics could wear any fricking armor they wanted without being a specific moronic subclass or archetype? What happened to those days?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Twas a fair trade in exchange for having a expanded roster of weapons beyond the usual maces and hammers of the classic cleric.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        not even sure why that even mattered outside of potential access to longbows.

  16. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Clerics are mechanically speaking the best necromancers.
    The highest level cleric I ever got to play ended up as a lich and had his phylactery stolen on two separate occasions by devils in hell.
    Didn't stop him from healing the shit out of the party.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Aren't Wizards better for necromancy?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        They have never been better in any edition

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