Despite being decried as mary sues, elves seem to suffer a lot of their respective settings, making way for the human protagonists to do the cool stuff. Ruined elfen civilizations, butthole elves that get beaten by other races, elf slaves and elves being victims of sexual abuse, elves getting lectured by short-lived races, mhfe pairings, we've seen it all.
Are there any media that are unabashedly elf-wank? I need to read, see and watch more elves going all out and being the cool guys for once, to nourish my soul and help me through the day. Legendary elf heroes, healthy elfen realms that proudly defend their borders, elves even being rightfully proud of their achievements and dignified. That must exist, right?
Might as well tell me about your games, if your elves aren't the settings punching back and hate-sink.
>Elf is so desperate to appear "cool" he has to photoshop a human gayman pic.
Gayman refers to the spammer, not the pictures he spams. The spammer is the homosexual.
Where does the elf-hating dwarf trope come from?
Why is it always 'that guy' who hates elves?
Why can you effectively gatekeep them out of your games by making a mentally ill elf-hating dwarf?
>Where does the elf-hating dwarf trope come from?
It's usually warhammer, but then people take that as some kind of standard for every setting, even in settings where they actually get along, despite some bickering. The Hobbit movie didn't help either by inventing additional drama between these races.
It's ultimately just a vehicle for their elf-hate, as much as making templars and crusaders about killing elves because of one setting (TES).
tbf I'm no tes expert but it sounds like the elves in tes deserved it
I'd kill elves too if they enslaved mankind, idc if they were birthed from an evil dead god, I'm a human goddamnit
be diplomatic or frick off
I do love the lotr elves for being genuinely good nigh untouchable paragons(bar some exceptions)
too pure and too perfect to hate
so its not like I have an elf problem, I just don't like elves where they're a problem
That's almost a thread for itself. Humans might as well be evil from the AlDmer's standpoint. The Ayleids themselves were evil too and the Aldmer knew this, since they deliberately left Alinor in order to worship daedra and do fricked stuff. But the entire conflict was more complicated. The Ayleids were already waging a civil war over daedra-worship before the slave revolt happened, and many Ayleid-nobles sided with the humans. When the Alessians won, they started to also lash out against the mer that supported them and went full moron until they were slapped around by the Direnni.
Thousand years later and coming around and calling Altmer evil because what some mer did that actually didn't want to do Aldmer-stuff is kinda dumb.
>I'm a human goddamnit
These are fictional people, no elf is going to hurt you. If someone writes completely moronic and evil humans, then you can dislike them for being written that way (or the writer).
Elves are real and they can hurt you, depending on how you define an elf.
I'm sure some of them are nice but I think one tried to hijack me once.
Like I said though, I'm sure others are cool.
>"I'm no expert"
Proceeds to write autistic tier dissertation on why elves aren't evil.
>on why elves aren't evil
Read again.
>the elves in tes deserved it
Problem is it's difficult to find a game where elves aren't forced to be the object of hatred.
Gimli expressed mild dislike of elves in lotr, though of course came to be dear friends with Legolas. FB took this idea and scaled it up to an ancient blood fued.
lord of the rings, moron
Dwarfs killed elf king for not paying them properly, and elves used walking trees to kill dwarfs on their way back
OH THE IRONY:
THE MISERY OF IT ALL
WE GOT TOO wienerY DWARFSISTERS
WE DUG TOO DEEP THIS TIME
You're always, ALWAYS digging too deep!
Why can't you just relax, play with the baby goats, and bake some potatoes?
honestly, dwarves, elves, and orcs all just seem really homosexual in different ways
Congrats on realizing that masculinity is inherently homo-erotic.
Only if you're an actual homosexual.
Wtf I love dwarves, elves, and orcs now.
>unabashedly elf-wank
Lord of the Rings?
Somewhat, but it's ultimately about the demise and dwindling of elves, so that they can guide and steward humans to be the actual inheritors of earth.
It's more respectful to them than most any other fantasy setting and displays them in an admirable way, as many good characters are basically elfaboos. But it's ultimately a story about humans (and halflings).
>elves seem to suffer a lot
Mary sues often do.
Elves deserve to rule tbhqwty. They literally created the most perfect societies.
>posts a Forgotten Realms elf
>whose greatest societal achievement was when they opened up their Cormanthor city to non-elves
>everybody who wasn't an elf immediately started immigrating there
>city expanded at exponential rate, fricking over natural world
>elves then had to ban immigration to Myth Drannor to control the flood of people who just kept showing up with the open door policy
>the ruler, the guy in charge who championed that immigration, dies
>city devolves into warring fiefdoms because every race is immediately segregating themselves and doesn't try to join any Myth Drannor culture but brought their own
>demons and devils proceed to crash the party and kill everybody
Sure. Perfect.
They hate us because they ain't us.
The trope is older than Warhammer. Presumably at some point they got along.
Elves are one of those interesting subjects, where it's very clear that they mean something different to every person.
You can tell for example that a lot of people see/hear Elves, and think the people who bullied them in high school. Other people see/hear Elves, and mentally substitute the first girl they ever loved, or their mother. Elves represent a fading age, a time when things were definitively better than they were before. Nostalgia, and a sense of vague, unavoidable loss. If you don't understand that feeling then you don't understand Elves, and it's as fundamental as those pictures of a dress that everyone sees differently.
The real subtext though is whether or not someone loves or resents their parents. You can really boil down most things to how much someone hates their father. Politics, religion, even elves, are all reflections on our relationship with past generations.
>Elves represent a fading age, a time when things were definitively better than they were before. Nostalgia, and a sense of vague, unavoidable loss
I understand how this can be a powerful theme to put into your games and stories, and how elves are very good at playing this part. Ancient elfen ruines, filled with elfen magic and elfen craftsmanship, give a great background for players to engage with the setting and do your usual adventuring. In a way, it is elf-wank if the settings past is full of their greatness. But it's also the question about what caused their downfall.
Most likely kin-strife and the last of the elfen witch kings deciding to take his people to hell with him rather than let his time pass so that the next age of the elves can begin.
Elves represent weird shit going down in the woods you don't want to know about and the amorality of the natural world.
looks like shit, moron.
>The real subtext though is whether or not someone loves or resents their parents. You can really boil down most things to how much someone hates their father. Politics, religion, even elves, are all reflections on our relationship with past generations.
You spend too much time arguing about fiction online. It's obvious because only someone who lets a fictional race dominate their mind to such a point that they'd try and equate something as superfluous and meaningless as taste in game characters to real life political and religious beliefs would make such a ridiculous and insane argument. I can guarantee your parents are disappointed in you, despite all your talk of relationships with family.
>that they'd try and equate something as superfluous and meaningless as taste in game characters to real life political and religious beliefs
But enough of elf-haters.
Anyone, elf-hater or dwarf/human/whatever-hater, that tries to draw a connection between someone's aesthetic choice in entertainment and their real world beliefs, is a moron. I'm well-aware that most of the guys in this thread who are hugely pro-elf probably see themselves as right wing. I can tell from the arguments they're trying to make, whether it's about beauty and nobility or relationship with family, etc. That's cool and all, but not every elf fan is a right winger.
I've come from communities where most elf fans there were mostly left wingers of various shades: women, troons, smarmy Redditoid types, etc. I've seen left wing dwarf fans and right wing dwarf fans. I've seen it for every playable race option out there. It's dumb trying to draw conclusions like this.
It was just a snarky about how elf-haters are as equally, if not more guilty of that.
I don't see enough elf-wank posts on this website to ever think such posters are some kind of problem.
I jerk off to elves because there is absolutely zero chance that a drawing of an elf depicts them as fat because its simply culturally accepted that elves are conventionally attractive and feminine.
You need to spend more than a week on this godless website, if you want to get your soul and dreams crushed.
There's an entire manga about an obese elf.
This is too real for most people on this website anon. The average person here doesn't play games, they just post about them.
That said, the post 2016 influx has meant I've seen the most hilarious kinds of arguments about elves between them here, with both sides automatically assuming that the other is a leftist/gay because they either like or don't like elves.
>you don't like elves because you're a gay leftist globalist with no comprehension of the past's beauty and moral superiority of conservatism and also you hate your father
>WELL YOU like elves because you're a gay leftist hippe who believes the climate change hoax and doesn't understand based elon's technofuture, and also you hate your father
Watching these arguments go on for hours or even days has been one of the true wonders of nu /tg/.
>people I dislike are one way
>but people I agree with are a cornucopia of diversity!
lol
>guy says that people from across political opinion groups have all different types of personal likes and dislikes and trying to pretend one such like automatically ties into certain politics is moronic
>aRe YoU sAyInG My gRoUp iS aLL tHe SaMe!?!?!?!
Bruh put your brain back in your head.
Culture war homosexuals are extremely tiresome. Blast a politician or stfu.
Genuine midwit. Something being fiction doesn’t make it any less menainful than something “real”. The majority of human behavior, morals, laws, and history is based off or explained by fictional stories our ancestors told.
>The majority of human behavior, morals, laws, and history is based off or explained by fictional stories our ancestors told.
Different anon, but he's not wrong.
When reduced to a binary of "fact" or "fiction", Justice, Mercy, Honour, Laws, Ethics, and many of the greatest drives and beliefs of man are entirely fictional constructs.
This is not to say they are of no worth. In reality, it's often fiction that is worth more than reality. But none of these exist in our universe without our ordaining it to be so.
Morons don't understand the basis of myth and act like the average smug redditor deconstructing the relationship between human beings and their creations. Absolute materialistidimwitted, literally soulless.
gay
this
>gayman.jpg spammer
This guy is a bigger homosexual than the wojak and the frog spammers, if they even are other people.
I respect elf frick yah as well. one who demonstates their superiority should be respected for it.
Yes, you elves live much longer than us. Your greatest warriors and sorcerers are stronger. You know ancient ways of the nature and all its spirits.
But this is no matter. We outnumber you. For every child you bear, we birth a thousand. The death of one elf is a devastating loss that brings your pathetic kind great grief. The death of one goblin is a drop in the vast ocean, rectifiable with some fricking.
We are goblin kind, and we are the unstoppable tide.
Oh, you claim to be our betters? You elves have such weak bodies. One hundred of us walks into an elven village as healthy as a battle ready warg, and a dozen of you come down with a fatal disease. You call yourselves long-lived, yet the mere presence of warriors casts down your cities with plague? Pathetic.
- The Warchief of Goblina, before massacring the elven capital with an army outnumbering the elven citizens 1000:1
wow so cool you guys die like fleas and live like fleas what a boast
Black person
Yeah, imagine how embarrassing it must to be a centuries old warrior-poet that losses their life to a knuckle-dragger who was born a scant few years ago. Never talk shit about your opponents unless you are absolutely certain that you have already beaten them.
Actually the goblins were all defeated first by even uglier, even shorter lived goblets that said the same thing to them.
The fleas living on the goblets are known to have said something similar in a small high-pitched voice after triumphantly transmitting the infectious diseases that killed their hosts.
The weak reciting heavy handed poetry about slaying the mighty is a pattern that follows life all the way down, with viruses in small horned helmets saying "Woe to the Vanquished" as they deposit small strands of their DNA to cells.
this imagine being a human being but you die and maggots eat you... like that's just... embarrassing or something...
>tfw I can feel smug and powerful (elf traits I hate) if I larp as maggots (sad and gross)
Ironically this is how the Bible describes the End of Days. The many take over Earth, shout out peace and safety, and then destruction falls upon the entire universe.
Why a god? Why the god? Tolkien's elves were sinless humans without the gift of rest after death.
r: K: Number of offspring: high: low: Parental care: low: high: Reproductive Maturity: early: late: Size of offspring: small: large: Independence at birth: early: late: Ability to learn: low: high: Lifespan: short: long: Early mortality: high: low
Goblins are low care, elves are high care. Unsurprisingly in literally every simulation the elves come out on top. Only demonic influence can topple that.
Not an elf. Just a goth girl with cosmetic surgery on her ears.
The duality of elves~ cute and sexy
>Frieren
another 1000-year old e-girl who never grows up and is mildly autistic?
just google the fricking manga you dork
>Characters named 'Frieren', 'Himmel' and 'Eisen'
>and it just goes on and on
as a German-speaking individual hearing Stuff like this used as character names is just pure cringe
>as a German-speaking individual
Opinion discarded.
I'm German and I like those names, you gotta see them from the perspective of people with another main language and the way they sound and it clicks, just like you probably don't mind Japanese names even though they are similar to how the names in Frieren work. But aside that, the only thing cringe is that you are "too cool" for your own language (if you are German) and because of that can't even appreciate that Japan thinks it's sounds cool.
Also to make an example, I have character with a pretty simple German word as name while everyone else in the party has some fantasy name and about 5 min after the character was introduced everyone just stopped "hearing the word" beyond it being a name and it stuck so hard, that when I do other campaigns or one-shots with some of the same people they still sometimes accidently call me by that name.
Because they are not German enough? Fine, let's call the elf Freundschaftsbeziehungen
I speak a bit of German, and it does get a bit odd with some of the name choices. But part of it is also just that to Japanese people, this is unique and foreign, and it's probably easier for the way their language works to use existing words or names for things rather than trying to make something up that sounds sufficiently Western, without it being completely butchered when going through katakana. At least Japanese authors try to use actual words or names for things, instead of just mismashing random sounds like they are trying to get their unique name accepted in an MMO or something.
Her Disjunction spell comes with its own soundtrack
I love and hate this series, because it's got some genuinely good implementation of 'balanced Elves', in that the graceful and deeply artistic race of long-lived people can't straight-up outfight the violent culture of hulking, explosively powerful, short-lived primitives that breed fast, outnumber them, and aren't as afraid of death, and actually need to find alternate methods than just "Sally forth in gleaming armour and let fate decide the day".
But on the other three-toed foot it's Elven degredation/guro porn blatant enough to make CS Goto blush, to the point where the entire series of events and characters/motivations feel like they're there just to make Elves suffer, and everyone else the good guys for causing it.
Isn't immunity to disease and aging a trait of elves?
Poul Anderson's The Broken Sword does this better. Of course the trolls in that story are immortal too and are about as skilled in combat.
Everything good about elves was given to them by a god
Elfquest
40k is half and half, the dark eldar are having the time of their frickin lives all the time. Ever since Vect began his rule they have done nothing but win.
Dark elves are always special just because they're elves but darker and edgier
They're still elves at their core
Any variation of dark elf usually falls into the "dickhead evil fae that disappear villages into the woods for fun" fairy archetype. Normal elves are the nicer fae.
If it ain't Tolkienian, it ain't a real elf.
That's a rather bold claim, considering the centuries of folklore prior to Tolkien's elves
Law of grimdark.
The more evil a faction is, the more successful it will be.
I think people who really really hate elves are the generally the same kinds of people who hate superman or hate friendly robots or a bunch of other things. It's fair when it's kept to a single setting where the elves are actual shitheads, but we all know this is never setting constrained. It's just general, widespread desire to see anything noble or fancy or beautiful get smashed down into the dirt so they feel better.
Because we all know it doesn't stay at "lol knife-ears" for more than five minutes before some fat short dude starts screaming for elf-genocide for no reason he understands.
Elves rarely ever earn their positions in most fantasy settings. They're usually the pet favorites of the settings gods, given everything from their magical prowess, martial skill, even how to build from the gods while every other race has to scrabble for scraps
I think humans are gods favorites even more often. Elves are more like angels. Custodians but thematically replaced by humans. That's why they're always dying out.
God was a helicopter parent to his firstborn and a more well rounded role model to his second.
I cant remember the post but someone summed up how HFY settings basically make humans the elves of said setting, along the lines of
>usually favoured by the god(s)
>wins 9/10 stories despite being ''on the decline''
>''flaws'' are either non existant/never used for narrative
>other races usually prop them up even more in their own narratives
>fans get extremely mad when you point any of this out
This is a fricking moronic post, most of those either don't apply to elves or don't apply to HFY, and I say that as someone who fricking hates HFY and all its mouth-breathing fans.
favoured by the god(s)
It's usually the opposite for HFY. Humans or Earth are, if any attention is paid to it whatsoever, stated to be some variety of disadvantaged. Either it's a shithole or humans didn't evolve the proper empathic responses or earth is right on the edge of the VORTEX OF INSANITY or some other gay shit that would make humans EPIC UNDERDAWGS.
>>wins 9/10 stories despite being ''on the decline''
I think you're conflating "on the decline" and "on the backfoot" here. HFY typically has humanity in the young upstart species position because it's all just a loose ripoff of Star Trek and Mass Effect in the end. Humans are disadvantaged in their conflicts, but never "on the decline". Again, this is to make them YOUNG BUCK EPIC UNDERDAWGS and pretty much the complete thematic opposite of elves.
>>''flaws'' are either non existant/never used for narrative
You managed to come up with something that applies to fricking neither. HFY is all about wanking off humanity's flaws and treating them like virtues instead, and elves are almost universally defined by their flaws and failures, even in the shittiest of narratives.
races usually prop them up even more in their own narratives
Once again, this doesn't really apply to either unless maybe if your only exposure to elves is 40K eldar. Typically it's elves showing up outta nowhere to prop up humans rather than the other way around. And if friendly aliens exist in HFY it's just so they can wank off how humans are actually ULTRA EMPATHS, NO ONE ELSE IN THE GALAXY WOULD EVER BEFRIEND
>>fans get extremely mad when you point any of this out
I'm the last person willing to defend HFYgays, but honestly you just sound kinda moronic and unable to grasp major themes, even in fricking HFY of all things.
>Once again, this doesn't really apply to either unless maybe if your only exposure to elves is 40K eldar
Warhammer fantasy to a certain extent maybe as well. This entire deal with Lileath and the Lady of the Lake, an elfen goddess chosing human subjects. I remember having people somewhere else argumentatively jumping at my throat pointing out that the humans of the empire picking up a dwarf god would have made more sense, considering their close relationship. But nah, if any non-human race has to share their pantheon with humans, it must be elves.
Maybe one could also argue with warcraft and elves establishing the arcane tradition, only to get surpassed by humans.
In general, how many stories from different media exist where the elves can't do shit, but rely on some human heroes (with maybe one elf companion)?
>This entire deal with Lileath and the Lady of the Lake, an elfen goddess chosing human subjects.
That's End Times dreck, though. You can pretty safely dismiss it.
>In general, how many stories from different media exist where the elves can't do shit
In most cases it's less "can't" and more "won't", save maybe that one elf companion you mentioned. Usually any big RALLY THE FORCES OF GOOD fantasy plot has a special arc just for getting the elves off their asses and out of their forest NEET caves by convincing them this really is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny this time and not just another petty mortal squabble.
40K is honestly the only one I can think of that turns that dynamic on its head by having elves putting in all the legwork to try and help the imperium, even going as far as to revive one of their gay little demigods (at the cost of an entire craftworld and its fricking afterlife no less), and then just taking catastrophic loss after catastrophic loss for their efforts.
I would like to ignore the Lady being an elf in my headcanon too (because it's stupid and insulting to both sides, and also a deified Naiad makes more sense), but it was also heavily hinted at in earlier editions. ET just cemented it.
>In most cases it's less "can't" and more "won't"
That doesn't really the argument, but there are also stories where the elves are so diminished that they at best help with guidance and advice, some magical trinket and maybe one or two heroes (LotR being a prime example).
>but it was also heavily hinted at in earlier editions.
Hinted but never confirmed. As you yourself provide evidence for, plenty of alternate interpretations existed just fine and it's not something that needs to be confirmed either way. Sometimes it's better not to know what's in the briefcase.
>there are also stories where the elves are so diminished that they at best help with guidance and advice, some magical trinket and maybe one or two heroes
Very true, not that I really mind, declining and reclusive elves are fun too.
>(LotR being a prime example).
That one's kind of a funny case, since it's both at once. Elves are both too in-decline to really muster an army to clash headlong against Sauron's forces, but at the same time they muster far less support than they truly could have given the Fellowship/armies of man because they had become too reclusive and failed to see it as "their problem" anymore.
>but at the same time they muster far less support than they truly could have given the Fellowship/armies of man because they had become too reclusive and failed to see it as "their problem" anymore
That's pretty much not true. The Mirkwood elves as well as Lothlorien had to deal with their own problems during the events of the ring war, with Saurons influence corrupting their realm, or defending against Sarumans forces. After he got destroyed, they soon started to reclaim their woods from them.
In general, there were a lot more conflicts and minor wars happen all over middle-earth during that time.
For me, it's the opposite. Haven't read G&F far enough to get to the parts where they meet Teclis. But on Ulthuan he definitely was looked at with some disgust while Tyrion was banging anything with a pulse left and right. Only when he joined the ranks of the mages of Hoeth, people started to treat him with respect, but it doesn't really grand him pussy (although, he doesn't seem to really care). He had some luck with connecting to people before, and it was always about magic.
There's human cults of Khaine in WHF as well supposedly, and Im gonna sound like a secondary for this but I recall a part somewhere when Teclis is helping either Magnus the pious set up the magic colleges or when he's helping Gotrek and Felix it's revealed that back on Ulthuan he doesn't get much attention from women because he's seen as a frail mage (not helped by his brother in comparison) but when he enters the empire/human lands women apparently throw themselves at him because he's a nigh immortal twink with a jawline
I might have phrased some things weirdly since again, Im quoting a post I saw ages ago that included everything from warhammer to james cameron's avatar as a HFY setting
iirc somewhere in norse myths certain semi-legendary kings were referred to as half elves because elves are somehow ancestor spirits that you can also sleep with making for better children, I know in the nibelungen there's a character called Hagen/Hogni who's dad was an elf supposedly, picrel is him with his dad Alberich who's a dwarf but it's one of those translations where dwarfs are elves or something
>Im quoting a post I saw ages ago that included everything from warhammer to james cameron's avatar as a HFY setting
Then the poster you paraphrased was moronic and as a result you said something moronic.
nta but I can see where he is coming from, HFY basically mythologizes humans and makes us capable of "conquering anything" if we just stuck to unrealistically noble values. Like, why the frick does Pacific Rim have giant ass robots beating the frick out of Natural Disaster Kaijus if the point isn't simply to make us feel better about ourselves with little deeper meaning?
>HFY basically mythologizes humans and makes us capable of "conquering anything" if we just stuck to unrealistically noble values
No the frick it doesn't. It wanks off some inane innate aspect of humanity as overwhelmingly amazing.
>PHWOOOOAR, U BREETHE OXYGEN
>PHWOOOOAR, ADRENALINE IS A COMBAT DRUG
>PHWOOOOAR, ENDURANCE HUNTING WILL CONQUER THE STARS SOMEHOW
And shit, noble values? Most of the stories are all about senseless genocide for the slightest insults and overwhelming the enemy with human wave tactics.
HFY humans have way more in common with orcs than elves and you know it.
>And shit, noble values? Most of the stories are all about senseless genocide for the slightest insults and overwhelming the enemy with human wave tactics.
this reads like you've seen that famous reddit HFY post and got really really assblasted that people liked it.
You are totally a normal person and not a hopeless robot
I don't go to reddit so I have no idea what sort of "epic reddit drama" you're referring to. I'm just talking from my personal experience reading through the odd HFY story on /tg/ back when they were posted here. I'm a huge sucker for all things sci-fi so I really tried to give it a chance, but it's just bland wankery every time. I know you're trying to insinuate that I'm pearlclutching over the hyperviolent jingoism in it, but I actually love that shit. I've loved Starship Troopers (the book too, but I'm obviously referring to the movie) even when the satire went over my head. Hell, Helldivers 2 has consumed more of my free time than I'd like since it released and I wouldn't be on this cesspit of a board if it wasn't for 40K. The difference between those and HFY is in those humanity IS actually challenged and up against impossible odds instead of steamrolling the story harder than an isekai protagonist who knows about crop rotation and onions sauce.
Yeah, the ones I read were always
>humans are soooooo scary, we drink METHANOL just for fun, and the aliens are terrified of that!
Generally just jacking off over how if word things funny you can sound like a real badass operator because you like hot sauce.
Apparently there's some long-running series about how humans are the only species that smile as a friendly gesture and every other alien species thinks we're baring our fangs and threatening them and somehow this leads to us conquering the galaxy. I think the main issue I have with HFY is they actually take something I like, i.e. cultural quirks of different aliens and how that'd create fun culture shock scenarios, and then corrupt it into the gayest, most boring wank imaginable. It's so bad that even trashy monstergirl mangas manage to scratch that itch for me better than HFY with their relatively minor biological quirks like spidergirls getting drunk on coffee or figuring out how pants/fashion work for tailed, winged, etc species.
that imaginary itch you feel the need to be scratched is called autism, and you should find another hyperfixation before you start making special snowflake species-mixes from which you derive your TRUE fursona.
>if u dunt liek HFY u r teh autism!
kinda reminds me of this picture of a smiling chinese guy, apparently in the west pictures were seen as portraits so smiling was rare, but the chinese had no idea about that, there's a conversation in Star Trek similar to it as well between 2 aliens
>try this human soda
>it's awful
>i know right, it's so happy and bubbly
>just like the federation
>worst part is if you drink enough of it you begin to like it
>it's insideous
>just like the federation
>Apparently there's some long-running series about how humans are the only species that smile as a friendly gesture and every other alien species thinks we're baring our fangs and threatening them and somehow this leads to us conquering the galaxy.
Oh man, it's way, way dumber than that. You got that impression from the one piece of fanart, it's not actually that, and Humanity turns out to not be special in any biological capacity. What their "cheat power", as a species, is, was the fact that the alien versions of psychiatry, environmentalism, militarism, and globalism, were shams designed to keep them terrorized cattle. Yes, the human versions of all that are /basically the same as modern Earth/. It's a fricking goofus and gallant cartoon about how to conduct your globohomo.
What series is that lmao it sounds horrible in a funny way
>40k bolterslop is literally the illiad
Jokes aside you're not wrong but I feel the context in which the media was made matters, LOTR and WH both have elves but were written for very different purposes, although since LOTR has a tabletop game, and some people latch onto Warhammer/other fictional properties' elves/dwarfs the way people used to do with mythological heroes, maybe you're on to something
So basically the elf is for the right wing man who cares for the enviroment and his left wing hippie gf?
look up "HFY" on youtube, youll find it soon enough. Its mostly videos reading off reddit/tumblr posts afaik
>What series is that lmao it sounds horrible in a funny way
It's too vaporous and long to be very funny unless you're the sort of person to hate-read thousands of chapters of Xianxia, which is appropriate, given that both are local counterparts to isekai. Not strictly in plot and setting, but absolutely in the cultural role and common criticisms. (You might notice that it's the Western genre that's more collectivist and the Eastern ones that are more individual.) There are a few chapters of The Nature of Predators that are noticeably idiotic or batshit
46: BPD Sheep follows antichrist to arrange an alliance with Admiral Croco in response to the coming attack from Captain Duck. antichrist refuses to let Admiral actually provide protection to Earth, what it does, is tell Croco that certain species have allocated their entire fleets to attacking Earth and left their homeworlds unguarded. Crocos are stereotypical Stellaris players, they abduct a minority of their victims to be eaten or factory-farmed in the worst conditions manageable, then raze the entire landscape with antimatter. antichrist tried to join the United Planets because it thought that war against the crocos would bring unity to the Human race. So to call this out've line with its established character is an understatement. BDP's mental image of it is completely unchanged by this action, and she still believes that it is a loving pacifist with an unbendable moral code once it's assassinated for pandering to aliens. Admiral has to decide on his own to save Earth from genocide, and yet antichrist feels dirty for bringing them to Earth, where they stop a genocide and bring fricking disaster relief to the 'fellow predators'. The fandom wildly misreads this as morally nuanced because they're programmed to read the story as intended and got the subliminal triggers that this was a necessary sacrifice by a loving visionary.
67: Literally the resolution of Zootopia, except that the anti-predator conspiracy has been ingrained for generations by megalomaniacs and wasn't set up two weeks ago. President Squid just lets them walk away with forbidden knowledge as if he isn't the leader of a police state.
130: The UN raids the dog library for all the TRVDITION that the United Planets stole from aliens, and then intentionally provokes Kessler Syndrome over their homeworld as a 'necessary' alternative to proper occupation. Kessler Syndrome does not prohibit travel, it just makes space travel statistically unsafe, and shouldn't even be that, because the everyone has both hyperspace and energy shields. Also, the dogs are reliant on interstellar supply chains. You might be getting the memo that this is the cloned muscle tissue equivalent of a "humans are deplorable and disposable insects, Frick Yeah!" story.
After discovering from the libraries that his planet used to be edgy, Gay Sheep illegally hitchhikes across the deadly expanses of space to go cook a plot with Stork Lenin to assassinate President Squid. This story arc was mocked by the readership throughout the entire time that it was happening, and finally broke the sunk cost fallacy of many a paypig when 140: Lenin personally gifts President with a statue of himself that hides an armed Gay inside of it, fooling him hook-line-and-sinker, but both of them are caught. Only Lenin puts up any resistance, Gay just unceremoniously allows the squids to catch him so that he can be tortured and lobotomized as a propaganda piece to the glory of alien psychiatry.
If you can't accept the Son of God coming from the skies with a commanding shout why bother?
In my last couple a games they've been the ones inventing machines. Orcs massproduce children and cannons, elves train individuals with manu(ally)factured uniques.
>So basically the elf is for the right wing man who cares for the enviroment and his left wing hippie gf?
not that anon, but that actually seems pretty spot on.
Well that explains my love for them at least (and for my left wing hippie gf I hope to one day have)
That's humans.
Many fantasy races get some cool stuff by their creator gods, including their strengths and weaknesses. Are you going to say that every setting is dwarf-wank because their creator god made them the best at smithing, strong and durable?
How many settings are there where they share their creator gods? Middle-earth for sure, but despite elves residing with the gods in Valinor, humans are still Illuvatars special little boys.
Maybe warhammer fantasy? The old ones created Ulthuan as a paradisiacal home for the elves, but that was when they were more or less hippie wood elves (not the asrai kind). That place saw more war and suffering than any other region of the warhammer world and by defending it against evil they pretty much turned into high elves.
>humans are still Illuvatars special little boys.
The elves are the reason that magic is leaving the world, some great artifact that symbolizes the well being of creation has been entrusted to them a number of times and they keep fricking it up. fight me you surface level reading gayet
I enjoy master race elves. Every 'secret champion' in my games, from fishing to cards to bareknuckle boxing is an elf
I think people who make long posts about why other people hate a fictional creation that primarily only appears in games are generally the kind of people who are extremely emotionally fragile and prone to fits of impotent rage when things don't go their way.
>prone to fits of impotent rage
>Uh, is that a fictional entity representing purity or beauty? UH that's NOT fricking okay, it's NEEDS to be killed and defiled right fricking now!
>>Uh, is that a fictional entity representing purity or beauty? UH that's NOT fricking okay, it's NEEDS to be killed and defiled right fricking now!
Attack that strawman.
Unironically had to grow out of this.
I'm still paranoid about nonhumans but I try to judge on a case by case basis instead of blanketing everyone now.
Elves are for:
>holding hands
>making babies
>wives
>consensual sex only
>having elf babies with
>dating
>love
>kissing
>hugging
>spooning
>snuggling
>smiles
>waifus
>massaging behind the ears
>keeping secrets
>best friends
>friends
>neighbors
>petting
>nibbling ears
>positive comments
>role models
>fitness
>a standard human women will never reach
>starting a family with
>proposing to
>marriage
>pregnant belly rubs
>romance
>honeymoons
>introducing to your parents
>stable relationships
>not rape
>comforting
>worshiping elven gods with
>dreams
>happiness
>not purging
>not hating
>not drugging
>having their culture preserved and practiced
>choosing wedding rings with
>long romantic walks in the forest with
>kicking pervy humans off their lands
>treating with romantic dinners
>taking nice relaxing hot springs baths with
>talking their beautiful language
>post-sex bedtalk and snuggling
>top of the line educations
>extended tropical vacations
>killing lesser races with
>montages of romantic activities in picturesque cities with a tacky soundtrack
>Elves are for:
babies
lesser races with
It doesn't comply well
Elves are perfect so elf women only give birth to elf babies
This reminds me of Vhaeraun and his followers
>We should make babies with the surface elves
>And then we just enslave the other races
Considering that most elves aren't big fan of the Drow and seem pretty cool with most of the other races the followers of Vhaeraun may have little chance getting high elf pussy
Vhaeraun is based (for an evil god), my last drow character worshiped him. The other players didn't really know anything about him, so they assumed my character would either worship Lolth or Eilistraee. Never had the chance to do my rant about the superiority of Vhaeraun.
>nigelf spammer at it again
Elfa isn't a Black person
Are you making these with Midjourney or something else?
Stable diffusion 1.5
Uncanny valley hitting hard
>poojeet slopshitter demands poo-brown elves
Lmao.
It's like pottery, it rhymes.
Based and vanilla pilled but frick half elves, they're the beginning of the end of the elven purity.
We must restrains ourselves and force elven men to breed to preserve their superior race
that's why if you REALLY love your humanfu you either pay for them to reincarnate into an elf no matter how many casts it costs, or they pay.
If the elf is male, they pay for it to prove its not an idle dalliance. If the elf is female, the man pays for it to prove he can provide her with a life worthy of her race.
Elves are for
>not posting cringey AI slop and trying to pass it off as good
This but dwarf women from settings where they are beardless.
There is or was a dwarf women thread that made me realize I have a fantasy dwarf women fetish.
I typically don't like elves, but I do enjoy certain depictions. Outside of LotR, I don't mind High and Wood Elves from Warhammer Fantasy. Dunmer from TES are also really cool. I feel like male night elves are such a lost opportunity, being stuck in a matriarchal amazonian culture while MOST art traditionally depicts them musclebound hulks. I don't care for night elves but I do like how their males were drawn in art, the in-game depiction is pretty disgusting, though.
The night elves aren't actually matriarchical, they just have strict gender roles.
It may appear to be like that because their males were asleep for some thousand years.
I know it's low hanging fruit but I like how Warcraft has done elves.
Greek-Japanese dark&wood elves.
Pseudo high elves who have Arabic architecture.
If you count the blue ayylmao, there's Russian-Pajeet elves.
It's not unabashed elf-wank but the corum/elric book series are my favorites and worth a read. Cool badass elf protagonists.
>seeing one of my slop images in the wild
weird feeling
Moorwiener always struck me as a writer that had better ideas than he can actually write.
His prose bores me.
Slop was meant to be shared.
I think the in-game depiction of Nelves, at least after the model updates look fine. But when I was a kid, it was a huge bummer we got such cool artwork for the Nelves. And then the in-game model was so much lamer by comparison.
Love this lil homie like you wouldn't believe
My general enjoyment of elves can be inversely correlated to how like the settings default race they are. The closer an elf is to being the settings default race, the more I resent that they are not instead just humans. The less they see eye-to-eye with humans, the more I like them. Frick high elves in alliance with humans because they are both afraid of the green menace, give me some elven guerilla fighters making pacts with forgotten deities for the sole purpose of getting werewolf packs the frick out of their forests.
I see, the coombrained ai-homosexual still can't fathom the idea of male elves procreating with their females.
>white male elf with delicious brown female elf
Good taste but I hate how DA:I lets a fem inquisitor date everything from human to elf to qunari but all male romance options are humans because the devs didn't want ''players to fetishize'' like women don't do this crap
I don't know if that's true, but remember someone listing all potential romances for different combinations of race and sex, and the female elf gets the most, while male elves get the least.
Dragon Age elves are such sorry creatures. I save these pictures because they are cute, couldn't care about the game itself.
Oh you'd hate what happens to Solas (the elf in the pics) in the game in that case, because as it turns out he's actually the elven trickster god fen'harel and apparently all the other elven gods enslaved the elves or something and only HE cares about them but across time the elves have forgotten and now the dalish (basically the RETVRN TO ANCIENT TIMES elves) worship the very gods that enslaved their ancestors
Bald elves are kino and underrated
>Male Elves get the least.
Probably in big part with how the Dragon Age games did elves. DA2 was really crappy for the male love interests, Fenris and Anders are not great romances. Astarion in BG3 is one of the most popular male love interests out there at the moment and he's an elf. Zevran was a lot less plot relevant or well done as Alistair's storyline in DAO.
I say this as a straight dude, but Solas has weird proportions on his head. And even with that, all of love interests for the straight women in DA:I were substantially better than the ones for straight men.
Astarion is popular because he's a vampire. Him being an elf barely matters.
>let's take this fantasy race with an increased lifespan and him an undead
BG3's choice of companions are so lame and weird.
Can't say if Halsin is more popular with women or gays.
its common dnd freakshow shit. game is still good regardless
I don't even know why he is popualr at all, except for fetish bait.
But then again my first run was killing the grove and ever since I could not play without Minthara
>Astarion is popular because he's a vampire. Him being an elf barely matters.
While not wrong, it barely mattered for Zevran in DAO. He was also a lot more popular than Fenris, but the DA2 companions were a travesty with some exceptions.
Regardless of whether Astarion is human or not, he is still an elf. You could write him as a human and probably much wouldn't change, but people still find him aesthetically pleasing, which is a problem with a lot of male elf love interests.
Was that really their reason? That sucks, especially since the love interests for men in that game were underwhelming. It's amazing to me that the returning characters from DAO, Morrigan and Leliana, looked so much better, and they weren't even romance options for the Inquisitor.
iirc so yeah, people asked why there were barely any female qunari NPCs in the game and I believe the response was some dev saying gamers would fetishize them (all the while the game lets male and female characters romance the one male qunari companion)
I don't think Tolkien's noldor have ever been surpassed in this regard, but they're still sad and doomed because that's their thing. Also you still see Beren and Turin and Tuor schooling important elves, but those are the most badass humans, it's not like they're schooling Fingolfin or Thingol.
I play dwarf fortress and elves are really annoying in that game because they have shit trades and they get mad when you chop down trees ergo I hate elves.
LotR is inherent elf wank, as Elves in that setting are categorically the “noble” faction of the world.
There’s a couple other Elf-centric comics out there that are based around refined worldly Elves interacting with the shorter-lived, clumsy creatures.
But you are right, in that for the most part, Elves are these high-powered, high-performance beings, that then get to deal with higher-power problems than anyone else.
WHFB Elves are a great example of this.
But inherently, Elf-hate is just projected insecurity, so it’s easy to see how players (read:social rejects) insist Elves are Mary-sues and want to tear them down.
Frankly, Elves are often the best thing about fantasy settings for a myriad of reasons, and I’m tired of pretending they’re not.
I blame most elf hate coming from a combination of how most setting will portray them as hoity-toity buttholes as their most obvious negative trait, and the fact in elder scrolls, mer are literally evil and caused most of the problems in the world
>mer are literally evil and caused most of the problems in the world
That was Lorkhan.
People really don't get how satanic his entire story is.
>mer are literally evil and caused most of the problems in the world
that's complete bullshit, you fricking moronic lorelet just because you played skyrim and the thalmor are the bad guys there doesn't mean that all mer are inherently evil
>Pelinal Whitestrake butt-fricked the Ayleids so hard that people forgot that an entire kingdom of Daedric-Prince worshiping sadists existed
>Typically, Ayleid kingdoms where the most malevolent Daedric Princes were worshipped also proved to exhibit the worst treatment of their slaves.[13] Various settlements became famous for their particular, elaborate method of torturing their slaves, such as "wailing wheels", "gut gardens", "flesh-sculptures", and forced ingestion of hallucinogenic drugs, as well as nighttime "tiger sport", which involved the immolation of human children.[29]
https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:Ayleid#Society
Lorelet please
The existence of non-Daedra worshiping elves doesn't excuse the lot of them for fricking with the very bones of Mundus time and time again for their own benefit, threatening reality itself when a particularly insane mer makes contact with a Daedric-prince for a single glorious whiff of power.
Mannimarco alone nearly allowed the Daemon prince of motherfricking Rape to meld Coldharbour with Nirn. He didn't even need to do that, because apparently all he needed to do was BREAK TIME ITSELF to ascend to godhood, becoming a moon or some shit.
Are we gonna talk about how the Dwemer invented tools for the explicit purpose of performing open-heart surgery on the Dead God everybody lives on?
Or the Tribunal using those tools to siphon some divine power for themselves, with only one of the three knife-eared reprobates doing anything of value for non-self-serving reasons? no, not vivec
Im not saying I think ALL the mer are downright evil by nature, its mainly just the ones that are overtly concerned with the rumors of their own divinity that ruin shit for everybody else. The Bosmer and Orsimer alone are innocent in this regard, if I recall correctly.
tl;dr uppity TES mer should either get about getting the frick off of nirn asap or stop treating reality like its their sandbox. Because, as Shezzarine, TES's reality is MY sandbox.
t.
>The reasons why the Daedra are reviled and their worship forbidden among all the civilized races of Tamriel are well understood... are grounded in historical events...The Aldmeri, who'd been first to begin organized worship of the Aedra, were also the first to venerate the Daedra Lords. This probably began on a small scale among the Ayleids, those Elves who left the Summerset Isles to create splinter cultures in central and southwest Tamriel... which forbade (among many other things) the worship of Daedra.
>As Ayleid culture flourished... in the last millennium of the Merethic Era Daedric worship took hold and spread among the Heartland High Elves. The Aedra were still widely revered, with probably a majority of the Ayleids continuing to pay them homage, but cults devoted to the various Daedric Princes sprang up across Cyrodiil, tolerated and then celebrated. Unlike the Chimer, the Ayleids made no distinction between "good and bad" Daedra—indeed, even some of the more heinous Princes received mass veneration, especially when their worship was adopted and endorsed by Ayleid kings and aristocrats.
>Widespread Daedra worship among the Heartland Elves was particularly ill news for the tribes of Nedic humans who were then arriving in Tamriel. The Ayleids enslaved the immigrant tribes of Men, at first occasionally but then systematically, and the Nedic people found themselves subject to masters who, in many cases, worshiped the Princes—including those who encouraged slavery, domination, and cruelty. Under the Ayleids, the human thralls found themselves the subjects of such Daedra-inspired "arts" as flesh-sculpture and gut-gardening. In fact, the revulsion for Daedra-worship that pervades most human cultures in Tamriel probably originated in this period.
https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:Daedra_Worship:_The_Ayleids,
annotated because character limit
Tolkien wrote elves as being such gigachads that basically every other fantasy since LOTR that has elves in it has intentionally tried to deconstruct his idealization of elves because he mindbroke the maladjusted losers who make up a huge portion of the fantasy base so bad with his absolutely based portrayal of how awesome elves were.
The only other major (popular) fantasy setting that comes close to getting elves right IMO is Warhammer Fantasy, where all alignment of evils - High (Good) Wood (Neutral) Dark (Evil) - share the common trait that they all know they're the pinnacle of creation but it's how they view the rest of sentient beings that shape their moralities, with High elves rightly viewing other races as short lived shits who can't stop fricking up and aren't worth bothering with outside of the times the elves have to march out and save their asses from demons, the wood elves viewing every other race as unreliable shits that they don't give two shits about as long as they don't frick with the forests, and the dark elves (rightly) viewing everyone else as clothes wearing monkeys who offer no value as anything other than slaves.
Unfortunately despite nailing the concept of what elves should be the majority of Warhammer writers are morons and can't write worth shit so there's little to no good Warhammer elf media (Total War Warhammer is a good representation but it's very surface level).
>High elves rightly viewing other races as short lived shits who can't stop fricking up and aren't worth bothering with outside of the times the elves have to march out and save their asses from demons, the wood elves viewing every other race as unreliable shits that they don't give two shits about as long as they don't frick with the forests, and the dark elves (rightly) viewing everyone else as clothes wearing monkeys who offer no value as anything other than slaves.
holy based, I never got into wh fantasy and assumed their elves were hopeless jobbers like the 40k kind (except dark elves)
Always cracks me up when elvoids go on about being immortal and good at magic and saving the world from daemons and then I remember Lizardmen exist and mog the living shit out of them in all these categories.
The only weakness of lizardmen is the fact that they don’t have hot women and are autistic
>Tolkien wrote elves as being such gigachads that basically every other fantasy since LOTR that has elves in it has intentionally tried to deconstruct his idealization of elves because he mindbroke the maladjusted losers who make up a huge portion of the fantasy base so bad with his absolutely based portrayal of how awesome elves were.
This is why you can't take the notion of elves being evil as anything other than deconstruction, that is a kind of satanism.
>every other fantasy since LOTR that has elves in it has intentionally tried to deconstruct his idealization of elves because
People wrote fantasy stories involving elves before Tolkien did, you know. People were publishing fantasy stories involving elves at the same time LotR was being published. Tolkien didn't invent elves and his interpretation of them is not the only right way.
To expand on this, I've included The Hobbit and Fellowship plus their dates to compare with other works that wrote about elves either BEFORE or in comparable timeframes (even the same year that Fellowship was published) so that maybe some anons reading this will broaden their horizons and realize not every depiction of an elf revolves around what Tolkien did, nor was he the first to utilize them in what is now the "modern understanding" of what an elf is.
In fact, it was LORD DUNSANY, not Tolkien, who created the modern elf. Tolkien readily admitted to being influenced by Lord Dunsany.
TOLKIEN
>The Hobbit (1937)
>The Fellowship of the Ring (1954)
NON-TOLKIEN
>The King of Elfland's Daughter (1924) (!)
>The Broken Sword (1954) (!)
His interpretation is the only one that matters because the vast majority of modern fantasy is almost directly derived from his writings to at least some degree. Yes he wasn't the only one writing about elves and dwarves and what not but less than 0.01% of the population has ever read anything that came before him, including the writers driving contemporary fantasy.
Back to pleddit with your whataboutism.
>His interpretation is the only one that matters because the vast majority of modern fantasy is almost directly derived from his writings to at least some degree.
That doesn't mean anything. There's no rules or law at work here. You're literally just making shit up and putting things in a box, placing arbitrary limitations on an idea for no reason.
Who cares if the vast majority of modern fantasy is almost directly derived from his writings? That shouldn't stop people from exploring and experimenting. You're basically saying that you can't do anything different with elves because everyone else is going off what Tolkien wrote. How does that make any sense?
>Yes he wasn't the only one writing about elves and dwarves and what not but less than 0.01% of the population has ever read anything that came before him, including the writers driving contemporary fantasy.
Again, who cares? Why is this important or relevant? Most contemporary fantasy is unreadable garbage and less than 0.01% of the population is reading it.
>Back to pleddit with your whataboutism
You're literally the one using the Plebbit term "whataboutism" you moron
>blah blah blah
You didn't even read my first post why bother responding at all dork? You're just projecting your own dumbass ideas into an argument that has nothing to do with your dumbass in the first place.
Back - to - plebbit.
>no argument
I accept your concession of defeat.
Imagine holding back the apocalypse at the cost of your place as the dominant species and being overshadowed by the new kids who's major contribution was inventing a magic toilet. Then watch as they have every opportunity to solidify their dominance only to throw it away thanks to moronation and narcissism. Anon, of all the elves you could have chosen as suitably comparable to Tolkien's depiction, you chose the most idiotic and degenerate elf second only to melniboneans who themselves are literally consortium with demons.
I think that the AD&D 2e setting Birthright does a fantastic job of showcasing just how isolated and besieged the elves are through map geography alone.
http://gm.mapgears.com/birthright-map/
This is a map of Cerilia, the main continent of Birthright. It is extremely balkanized, with not a single big, unified country. There are a total of nine elven nations: Lluabraight, Rhuobhe (the tiny little spot in the southwest, fed by the Elfwash River), Tuarhievel, the Sielwode, Coullabhie, Innishiere, Cwmb Bheinn, Rhuannach, and Tuar Annwn. Each of these is surrounded by non-elven nations of entirely different cultures, eight out of nine are in forests, and eight out of nine are landlocked. The elves of eld might have had a consolidated empire, but the arrival and spread of humanity (illustrated in in the top middle of the map) broke them apart.
But not all is lost for the elves. In this map, you will notice two numbers for each province: X/Y. X is a rough measure of population, agriculture, industry, and overall prosperity. Y is the land's magic, an important resource for large-scale rituals. Y ranges from 5 to 9 by default, with 9 being appropriate for ancient forests and tall mountains. This default value is reduced by X, because as civilization grows, the land's magic withers away; however, this does not apply to elves, who are more in tune with the magic that courses through the land. Consequently, elves can hold out against their enemies by weaving powerful, large-scale rituals.
What do you think of storytelling by way of map geography?
It cracks me up that lizardmemes have nothing to boast, except siphoning the accomplishments from elves.
You're looking for Poison Elves by Drew Hayes
any media out there with a dwarf and elf duo who banter and shit talk with one another? seems like a fun gimmick
Yeah it's called fricking Lord of the Rings.
I always like to picture what elves might do in a modern society, trivial things like their hobbies and crafting. Something as simple as beer would be the type of thing that an elven brewer would practice to perfection for centuries, microbrews that have been tweaking their artisan ale and lager since before the age of flight, motor vehicles, and steam power. Wines that have been aged since before Imperial Britain. Artisan breads that have been cultivated from breeds of wheat bred for centuries specifically for their subtle sweet flavor and flakey texture.
ASRAI
S
R
A
I
>Legend of Zelda
>a pointy eared elf boy saving the world over and over again
>doesn't count, they aren't elves
>FFXIV
>Elezen as dragon-killing hyperchads and tall warrior race
>people say they don't count, there is nothing elf-like about them
Japan please.
Nintendo has gone out of their way to explain that Hylians are humans. They've got pointy ears but even that feature has become significantly dulled over time. Unless of course your implication is that elves literally are just pointy-eared humans in which case you'd be right.
Nah, they aren't just humans. For instance, the increased lifespan is one of the cornerstones of high fantasy elves.
Pretty sure Elezen just get 120 years old at max, which is another reason why people say they aren't really elves.
this alignment chart but for elves?
>body purist; elves have to be physically different from human, but similar enough with pointy ears (Elder scrolls elves)
>body neutral: pointy ears are enough (Elezen/Legend of Zelda)
>body rebel: they don't need to resemble humans (fairies are elves)
>concept purist: elves need to be otherworldly and immortal (LotR)
>concept neutral: elves need to live longer but it is fine when humans can understand them (Dungeons and Dragons)
>concept radical: aliens
I didn't know what to put under concept radical
>ITT
Wait, you aren't joking? People actually think evil pointy-eared human-like races are a faithful representation of what a "real" elf is like?
Like many said- Warhammer Fantasy and Age of Shitmar. Surprisingly the Witcher has a decent Elf supremacist nation on their own planet that BTFO Geralt with ease and invade human lands with impunity. Wild Hunt is very underrated as a group
if you n'wah fricks would stop b***hing about muh stuck up elf you might not be considered a lesser race and used in saltrice farming just saying lol
>Dunm*r talking shit after getting BTFO by lizards and crying to the Nords to save them
Lol, pic related is the appropriate place for a dark elf woman.
reminder to mod responsibly
that's an appropriate place for all elf women, especially dark elf ones
>those fat thighs and ever-so-slight bit of chub on the tummy
Oh yes.
>coomer
>low-opinion of the elves he cooms over
Classic.
Every setting:
>high elves
Arrogant pricks who are just waiting to ram a knife in humanities back
>wood elves
Polygamous nonces who are just waiting to ram a knife in humanities back
>dark elves
Edgy Arabs
TOTAL ELF DEATH
If your setting has more than one race of elf it's industry standard and gay.
>There should only be one race of elves
>And they should be evil
>There should only be one species of humanoids
>And they should be evil
Nothing beats giant fricking peak of civilisation elven cities that makes you wonder what it must be like to live in such a place.
One of my main gripes with japanese elves is that they seem to really lack that. Most of them just live in boring primitive villages, at best in some Lothlorien-expy. But no wondrous massive magical cities of wonder and high architecture.
I know, this often goes to dwarves, but elves as "builders" fascinates me.
Honestly, I liked the religious terrorist elves of Warmachine. Too bad Privateer Press fricked all that up so badly.
just read Tolkien
if I wanted elf soap opera I'd just tune into the trashy MTV version
Like every history nerd who doesn't trust Hollywood I'm absolutely enarmored with the Crusades and have been planning to write a multi-campaign story for elven Crusaders. Building on the siege of Vienna, I planned a storyline which culminates in the decline of the dwarven mountain-kingdom and a demonically driven campaign of lies painting a subrace of elves as evil. For you information, I'm the DM who wants 'that guy' to stay away or read a book printed before the 2010s. Scratch that - you need to read books printed before the 2000s. If you have any more sources on the Crusades and the Inquisition, please share.
God's Battalions: The Case for the Crusades
Thank you.
Theosophy is itself a LARP of 'The Coming Race', a satire on darwinism, colonialism, and eugenics featuring a matriarchal, vegetarian, and genocidal, race of super strong psychokinetic cavemen underneath the United States.
when elves are magic would leather armour made out of elven skin have any special properties? like magical protection?
I know they're resistant to charm and can't be put to sleep