>elves are like humans, only taller, more beautiful, elegant, immortal, stronger, faster, better craftsmen, and have more powerful magic
CRIME Shirt $21.68 |
Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68 |
CRIME Shirt $21.68 |
>elves are like humans, only taller, more beautiful, elegant, immortal, stronger, faster, better craftsmen, and have more powerful magic
CRIME Shirt $21.68 |
Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68 |
CRIME Shirt $21.68 |
you're right, it's better when they're shorter than humans
> it's better when they're shorter than humans
Yes! As Gygax and Santa intended. Tall races don’t get a penalty to constitution.
Tall races IRL have a myriad of health problems including early heart failure and their lung just fricking popping/collapsing for no good reason besides strain. The very definition of a CON penalty imo
Whales live longer than humans though.
Whales have less going on
They don’t need to support their own weight on land
>Tall races IRL have a myriad of health problems
Yeah, but they can withstand heavier blows and require larger doses of most poisons to die, both of which are also indicative of higher constitutions.
No they don't.
Sure they do. Both are elements of fortitude, which is measured by constitution.
What is the difference between a short elf and a gnome?
> What is the difference between a short elf and a gnome?
About 50cm
Nothing.
This is why gnomes should have never been written.
The solution is turning gnomes into the tiny garden gnomes.
Gnomes are if Goblins or Kobolds could handle being in civil society without being domesticated or forcefully civilized. They're still witty little rascals that like to build things, they just don't have the massive desire to collect or be in a hierarchy.
They're also slightly magical, but not as much as elves. Just like a little bit to be noticeable.
>but also, they miraculously lose to or get outdone by humans every time
>Gankerners are like humans, only shorter, uglier, brutish, have shorter life expectancies, weaker, slower, have no practical skills and believe in magic.
I don't mind this trope if they have a very low population. They're rare and severely outnumbered
>elves are declining because....because that's the way it is, ok?!
Much longer lives, so they don't feel the need to reproduce as much. :shrug:
>sure, elves are perfect and superior to you in every conceivable way, but you human have a gift that outweights all their OPness
>you die! and when you die, you'll be forced to sing for me, for eternity! pretty neat uh?
>Christian injects Christianity into his story and everyone b***hes about how awful heaven is
Kek
*you die, thus you are not bound to any particular fate, unlike other creations of mine, but you forge it on your own. You will never feel bound to the world and will seek to perpetually expand, explore and exalt in every direction, instead of slowly fading away like the elves. Your afterlife will be assured by me, and will be unknown to other beings. And you will be the ones who will shape the the world to come alongside me.
I don't know, doesn't sound that bad at all.
>You aren’t bound by fate
>99.999% still end up a dirt farmer or some shit
Predestination is only a negative if you know about what your fate is, otherwise it’s a lateral move. If I knew my fate was predetermined but didn’t know what my specific fate was I would gladly take that alongside eternal youth over having no predetermined fate.
>you die! and when you die, you'll be forced to sing for me, for eternity! pretty neat uh?
Yes, I kneel, Eru Iluvatar-sama
elves literally all become disembodied miserable little forest spirits eventually tied to the actual rock that is middle-earth while humans get to dwell in the presence of the creator and play a role in his plans to come even after the rock that elves are bound to ceases to exist (along with them)
humans have IMMORTAL souls, elves do not.
>also, conveniently this decline specifically allows humans to move up in the world and not any of the other races
oh look at this guy, he can dictate an elvish society and powers but he can't change gestation or how easy or hard it is for them to conceive.
There is a very specific reason elves are fading away in Tolkien. Middle-earth in the time of Bilbo & Frodo is a post-apocalyptic high magic setting masquerading as a low magic setting.
It's all the copycats who followed Tolkien that don't have a good reason for their elves dwindling.
It has nothing to do with fricking, other than the fact that you are fricking moronic.
elves should be shit and worthless because... they just should ok!
LOTR has always been high magic, just because it doesn't have autistic jap power levels and is not isekai doesn't mean it's not filled with istances where magic is used. hackson melted your brain with his interpretation of the books
Dumbest take on Ganker. Magic being used, even somewhat frequently, is part of low fantasy. It's more about the who and how that determines if it's high or low.
Go read the books newbie.
Read the books newbies
Elves are Middle Earth's equivalent of modern highly developed western societies which indeed are declining and reducing in population.
“I cordially dislike allegory in all its manifestations, and always have done so since I grew old and wary enough to detect its presence. I much prefer history – true or feigned– with its varied applicability to the thought and experience of readers. I think that many confuse applicability with allegory, but the one resides in the freedom of the reader, and the other in the purposed domination of the author."
― J.R.R. Tolkien
Humans are to Elves what Goblins are to Humans, they are superior to us in everyway but are unable to reproduce as fast as we do.
Short elves are just Gnomes.
Ok but why? Why can't they reproduce as "fast" as we do?
You know why i put quotation marks? Because we're one of the slowest race of primates in the world in terms of pregnancy, we require 2/3 of the time an elephant would require to have a baby, despite weighting 1/50 of them. Each litter is on average 1-2, and despite the fact that we don't have a mating season, continuous pregnancies are rare and families with more than 3 kids are unusual, as they were even before the industrial revolution.
We are not rabbits, we don't take little to make other humans, and moreover human children are completely dependant on adults and require at the very least 12-13 years to be considered autonomous enough to be part of a society
>Ok but why? Why can't they reproduce as "fast" as we do?
Dunno, make up a reason, curse, evolution, disease, some deity said so.
>families with more than 3 kids are unusual
Amish and Niger families have more than 6 kids.
Extremely slow and burdensome reproductive cycle. A pregnancy takes several years, the child will be a screaming infant for several years after that, and won’t be self sufficient for another several decades. Elves don’t take the plunge into parenthood unless they’re really ready for it, and almost never do it without a significant support network helping to make it bearable. Replenishing the population after any costly wars, plagues, etc takes an extremely long time, and when the elven population has become too large and powerful in the past other races (primarily humans) just cut them down to size with a couple generations of attritional warfare.
That's how it should be,
But liberals hate that, so it's rarely the norm these days.
Go back.
That's what I said dipshit. You're the one with chili con carne for brains, not me.
>but they still lose to humans
>Powers on the Elf-Printers (ethically sourced)
>Now there are more than ever
You are welcome, OP
Yes. Categorically and without reservation. You forgot that their dicks are bigger their civilization is superior and they have better singing voices, also they are better sailors, riders, and better at polo, ninepins, droughts, chess, poetry, literature, and science. Also their cuisine is the finest in the world and as they never sleep, their hair is also always perfect.
Downsides? I guess they smell like tonic water and none of them can do that thing where you make a funny buzzing sound with a blade of grass. (They can just do that normally.)
And cute!
Wow, literally me.
Thank you elven ancestors.
>elves are like humans, they only have pointy ears
That doesn’t really sound like humans. That’s like saying “dogs are like humans but dumber and have four legs”
We can reduce anything to absurdity if you’d like
This board is like three thread archetypes that keep getting posted. Dead as frick.
At least /tg/ is still usable and on-topic most of the time. Most other boards have collapsed into pure memery and/or mindless shitposting.
Have you seen the abhorrent thread you're currently posting in?
>Elves are like elves in mythology
>This is bad somehow
Elves are not like that in any mythology
>In medieval Germanic-speaking cultures, elves generally seem to have been thought of as beings with magical powers and supernatural beauty
You're worst than biblically accurate angel gays
Gnomes are the size of actual mice.
Real elves in mythology are like this
This is why I love what Warcraft did with blood elves
Elves are basically the Mary Sue of races
They're shit if they don't have some flaws
So why not make them magic crackheads?
Just like humans how anon?
>elves are like humans, only taller, more beautiful, elegant, immortal, stronger, faster, better craftsmen, and have more powerful magic
What's wrong with that?
This is because they are supposed to be medieval aristocrats, who were like peasants but genetically and culturally superior in every way. The trope of humans defeating elves is a stand-in for the usurpation of secular power from the aristocracy to the bourgeoisie, and you see this in human society being more materialistic, lecherous, and industrious.
>Elves are... le ubermenschen
Then again, that probably holds true for Feanor
Did any human ever go up to Satan's house, slam on the door, and shout "hey nerd! 1v1 me, homosexual!" and then Satan was all like "uh, nuh-uh." and then his minions all go "aw snap, it do smell like b***h in here!" so Satan has to be like "n-n-n-no I'm n-n-n-n-no b***h!" and go out and get his ass kicked by said human?
Because I know an Elf did that.
I mean I wouldn't be surprised if a human did.
I know that a human sort of did it with Satan Jr., but he had an entire army and an elfbro so it was a 2v1.
>Did any human ever go up to Satan's house
Yeah, one did. His name was Meatloaf.
>knows about Fingolfin
>doesn't know about Beren
Read the fricking book already
I really should because I like a lot of the content but honestly I don't like the way Tolkien writes.
Yep, that's an elf.
My world only has drow, no surface elves
yes that's right, remember this makes them less likely to seek cooperation since they can do things themselves which is a disadvantage in the long run and in the grander scheme
Prompt better hands.
2 more weeks until AI doesn't produce dogshit
>my Elves are different
>they're actually an insect species whose secondary antennae just resemble pointy ears from a distance
>they're not better at magic than anyone else but exude hallucinogenic gas as a defense mechanics so everything thinks they are
>they're not really better with bows, but they can nock two arrows because they have 4 arms, so everyone thinks they are
>what do you mean "they're not Elves anymore and you're just rebooting Fantasy races like a shitty Hollywood exec"?
>just wait until you hear about my mole people Halflings who shit bullets
shitty strawman post
i like elfs from the spiderwick chronicles. they are ethereally beautiful and mysterious, yet also mischievous and deeply linked to the forest.
also they are like 4 feet tall so it's kind of a middle ground between the folklore imp-like elfs and the tolkenian gigachads
>random person radically changes a race's features and call it a reboot
>gets criticized for being an unimaginative hack and attention prostitute
>tolkien does it with elfs, turning them into magic greek heroes
>universally praised to the point where people don't even remember what elfs are supposed to be
Yes, cope
>Elves in other peoples fantasies are soft spoken, angelic like, stoic.
>Elves in my fantasies are antebellum, southern, refined, composed, but rural and straight to the point.
Frick Rivendell. Candy Land is what I aim for with my Elf lords.
Alright, so what fantasy race was enslaved to pick enchanted cotton?
Black people
They can't catch a break, can't they? Stupid Black folk
just as nature intended
fundamentally based, are the white trash hicks also elves though?
it's really a shame that AI art now exists to make more low quality threads and posts.
In other words - they are nothing like humans.
Your point?
You have one, right?
Yes, i hate them fricking mary sues
No, he’s a moronic homosexual making a dogshit no games b***hing thread in which you are posting. In real life the only appropriate response to whiny homosexuals wasting your time is to punch them in the face. Here you should call OP a wienersucking cretin and leave the thread to rot.
>noooo this isn't like my HFY fanfiction and hentie mangoes
lol
Actually elves ARE the HFY fanfiction incarnate.
Name ten actual games. Has anyone even bothered to make this about actual games?
There is WFRP where they are actually better, but this game doesn't attempt balance and you are supposed to roll everything anyway.
the point is not to argue, shit on or discuss the phenomenon in a specific game, but expressing views about this general trope, you monkey
go and wank about your favorite little race somewhere else
>trope
You don't play.
Why the frick does tg have to be the TV Tropes board
Short elves are just gnomes, having both gnomes and short elves in the same setting is pointless.
I like the Witcher take on them.
They're all that, but also just as moronic as humans when it comes to big decisions, and have the added downside of war being incredibly bad for their species, since young elves are the only ones who can have kids. The ones who are usually the people to fight wars are the only ones who can breed.
Basically elves get all these advantages but make poor decisions that cascaded into their species being on the brink of extinction because they're actually just as stupid as humans.
I dunno, the death metal !dark eldar elves seem to be doing just fine, theyre also like three feet taller than the normal elves you see in the witcher setting. I guess the normal witcher elves are their settings equivalent of elf special ed.
Yep.
Never read any fairy stories?
So quite different from humans.
Arguably better, but not necessarily.
It does make me wonder why some become PCs and manage to only keep pace with humans, dwarves, halflings, etc. Are these just the morons of elf kind?
Well done, you described what an elf is.