every pixel is physically simulated

every pixel is physically simulated

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  1. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Every pixel is physically stimulated

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      This game is garbage. It was funny how quick the marketing stopped after it came out and was shit. They should have just kept doing overwatch porn in place of it.

  2. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    simulate this

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      this would be badass with let the bodies hit the floor and it hits that one part right when it explodes

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Pro-pained.

    • 5 months ago
      fags are gay

      literally btfo

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >shooting into the dark on hissi base
      >continuing to shoot when the tank was revealed
      >not immediately running somewhere safe
      Deserved it

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      these fricking propane tanks are the most dangerous enemy in the game, i swear they are programmed to home in on you

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        that wouldn't be much of a stretch, I think you can get wands with enemy-seeking propane tanks

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Get Noita'd lamo

  3. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Unironically one of the best games in the genre (roguelike). Yes it's a roguelike under any sane definition. It's basically a sidescrolling nethack designed by schizo finns.
    Really do wish they'd make it a bit less of a "wiki game" though, just a few more hints here or there on the insanely obtuse stuff (ideally hidden so you need to explore more) would go a long way. The game is basically all about knowledge and learning through interaction, so it doesn't make sense that some things are so well hidden that they essentially had to be datamined.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      The game needs a ton more time in the oven imo. It could be the next terraria if they keep adding stuff to it

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        nah the only way it could possibly get really big is if it made changes that would betray the core autism that makes it good. It's like dwarf fortress, the extreme barrier to entry and obsessive attention to detail is what makes it fun.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        I mean for the pricetag it has, it's good enough. Plus the devs got kinda sick of working on it and moved on.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        I mean for the pricetag it has, it's good enough. Plus the devs got kinda sick of working on it and moved on.

        They do still work on it...

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          What is this? I can't find any info of this changelog anywhere.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            Check out the Discord, in the updates channel. The beta branch has been updated for most of 2023, I've no idea if the devs plan on doing a Terraria though.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          oh they are back on working on the game? fricking based, hopefully it actually lasts for awhile

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Terraria would be a downgrade, little zoomer.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      The simple fact you can unlock things that make furture runs easier means it's not a rougelike

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >make future runs easier
        All the orb spells are mediocre pool diluters at best, actively detrimental at worst. Nukes being a thing that can spawn just means more opportunities for a hiisi to grab the wand its on and end your run.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          fireball orbit is pretty sick though

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          You're just going to conveniently forget the greek letters?

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            Don't the letters just spawn within a run after you defeat the alchemist?

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              no, they can spawn in shops etc every run after killing him the first time regardless whether you killed him again or not

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >things that make furture runs easier
        But that's just not true, every unluck makes the game more dangerous

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        It's still hard dont believe this idiot lol barely unlocking these orbs will help you in some way. Its all rng

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          You're just going to conveniently forget the greek letters?

          Why are the orbs the only thing you think you unlock?
          You're as dumb as the other guy

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            you're still stupid as frick, it's all based rng and it's roguelite under roguelike's disguise

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Wrong, it's not a rogue like because it plays nothing like rogue but there's nothing about a few upgrades between runs that disqualify a game

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        That's what a rogue like is moron

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      needs local multiplayer like spelunky. An arena mode and a 4 player adventure mode.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      It has virtually nothing in common with rogue. I don't get why people want to call everything a roguelike just because it has some form of permadeath

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >STILL getting mad about people saying roguelike

        quit virtue signalling.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          No.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          binding of isaac is my favorite FPS.
          and YES binding of isaac is an FPS, first person shooters dont have to be first person and binding of isaac has a shooting mechanic so its an FPS

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            noita is a roguelike because it's absolute randomly generated bullshit for turbo-masochists and only them

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          >doesn't know what roguelike means
          >doesn't know what virtue signalling means

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          The ones virtue signalling are the ones calling non-roguelikes roguelikes. They want the prestige of playing roguelikes without actually playing roguelikes.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            >prestige
            lol, lmao even
            Fricking autist

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              >the prestige of roguelikes
              overplaying your hand shitposter-kun

              You know I'm right

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            >the prestige of roguelikes
            overplaying your hand shitposter-kun

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      > Wiki-game
      Literally no such thing.
      Just an excuse spouted by slothful morons who expect to be spoonfed everything.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        I call bullshit that you figured out basically any of these secret shit in Noita without a guide.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Perception: lvl 1
          >Intelligence: lvl 1
          >Dumbass Opinions: lvl 100
          You clearly built yourself wrong.
          Inhale the contents of the nearest medicine cabinet and respec your life.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            >you did not discover these secrets all by yourself
            >AKCHUWALY U STOOPID
            wiki user lol

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              Ackshully some of us beat the original Legend of Zelda back in the day as an eight year old ESL kid, so some of us don't need guides to figure basic shit out

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                You absolutely did not play the game if you think anything in legend of Zelda on NES is remotely comparable to the most basic secrets in noita.

              • 5 months ago
                Lain Iwakura

                legend of zelda secrets
                >hidden spot in wall

                noita secrets
                >a massive long quest with hours required to obtain the achievement pillar

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      They could've at least dropped a hint for wand-wrapping, which is necessary for most (non-limited, non-explosive) kill wands

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Why would you need a hint? The behavior is utterly obvious if you have a brain. Spell parsing tree incomplete = wrap, then reload

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >STILL getting mad about people saying roguelike

      quit virtue signalling.

      >Yes it's a roguelike under any sane definition.
      So it plays Like Rogue?
      The controls and combat are Like Rogue?

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Not how words work i'm afraid. MacDonalds isn't a Frank but it is still a franchise.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          But if its Like Rogue, surely it plays Like Rogue, right?
          If you start screaming No when i'm raping you, are you saying you really meant Yes?

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            It's not Like Rogue it is a Roguelike.

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              So in reference to Rogue, it is Like it, and not a light (stylized "lite") version of it?

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                What does Rogue have to do with anything? We're talking about roguelikes here, not games like rogue.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Oh really? Which game was the first Roguelike (unrelated to Rogue entirely)?

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                NTA but Spelunky was the one that popularized the idea that Roguelikes did not need to play like Rogue.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                The spelunky dev himself never calls it a roguelike since the original release decades ago. He calls it a platformer with the tension and replayability of a roguelike.
                https://forums.tigsource.com/index.php?topic=4017.0

                So are all hard games you play more than once a roguelike?

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >Probably the easiest way to describe Spelunky is that it's (kind of) like La Mulana meets Nethack
                Ah, a Netlana. My favorite genre.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >the dev didn't call it a roguelike and therefore it wasn't classified as a roguelike
                The simple fact that Derek described it as being similar to a roguelike is the reason that it is classified as such. This was also during a time when the best we had to go on was the berlin meme interpretation, which everyone knows is a fricking joke since it lists ASCII graphics as a requirement.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                He more closely describes it as a NetLana though. Its just reminiscent of a roguelike's tension.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                'gameplay that's like rougue's' is a good deliniator between roguelite and roguelike, i'd say.
                the more important point is that holy fricking shit, who cares. if you're looking for games with elements of rogue, it'll be tagged using one of the two terms and it's never going to be more particular than that.
                this endless b***hing about terminology that serves no practical purpose beyond wasting time making yourself angry is the pinnacle of pointlessness.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Are you stupid? Nethack.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Let me explain something to you, autist. The meaning of words is not a mathematical process, it's entirely shaped by natural mental processes and exists outside of things like analytical etymology. You are reversing the process of understanding words because you mistakenly believe that the "rules" of a word define the word. They do not, they are DESCRIPTIVE of the word, i.e. they are downstream of the word's meaning. This is why
        >roguelike
        is a meaningful term at all. "Like" is not particularly precise, which would render the term useless if its definition had to be analytical. After all, how "like" is "like"? Oh, muh copenhagen defi-frick off, that's just cope. Instead, the word "roguelike" generally means "a game with permanent death that emphasizes repetition and mastery in order to create compelling gameplay, and additionally contains random elements". Note that I said "generally" because I'm describing the word, not literally saying that it can only be used that way.
        So, basically, Noita is a roguelike. So are most rogue"lite"s, though they tend to de-emphasize certain aspects of the definition. You are a homosexual autist who is so dopamine-fried that you need to split hairs over words on the internet to raise your pitiful self-esteem, and nobody takes you seriously. Even I wouldn't have typed this out if I didn't want to just have it on hand as a copypasta for later, because "people" like you are so obviously moronic that trying to convince you of anything isn't worth the effort most of the time.
        tl;dr ur gey kys

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          >words words words
          So does it play Like Rogue or not?
          Very simple question.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            ur gey kys

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              Roguelite then, got it. Thanks for the clarification.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Noita is a Womesque, my friend

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Roguelikes are a specific style of game that are derivative of the Dungeon Crawler genre, where the Dungeon- is not (necessarily) literal. Noita is styled in the fashion of a 2d dungeon crawler. It is not styled in the fashion of Rogue, which was a topdown dungeon crawler. Hence, it's a Dungeon Crawler. There's absolutely nothing wrong with the fact, but people pretend that there is.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            ur gey kys

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          This is actually one of the biggest things that is a sign of autism: Thinking rules are proscriptive instead of descriptive. It's why you get everything from moronic genre arguments to trannies screaming that you need to use certain words when referring to them. Thinking that words and rules create reality, instead of describing reality, is the fundamental mental deficiency of the autist.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          U R A gayET
          Roguelike is a game, that is actually played like Rogue - turn-based, tiles, random generation, dungeon crawling etc.
          Action stuff like Noita, that only includes part of a Rogue features (random generation and permadeath respectively), is not a roguelike. There is an umbrella term "Roguelight" for that, but actually Noita is a 2d run-n-gun with benefits (a.k.a. some features of different genres). Core gameplay is different.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            ur gey kys

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          extremely good post but trying to explain something like this to an autist is like trying to explain sight to a person born blind

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      A roguelike by its broadest definition is a topdown procedurally generated dungeon crawler. This definition is of course ignoring the Berlin Meme Interpretation where the people that wrote it were far too specific with their criteria.

      Noita hits two of those marks but it clearly is not in the style of Rogue as it is a sidescroller, hence it would be considered a sidescrolling dungeon crawler instead, as Rogue itself is derivative of dungeon crawlers. Calling Noita a roguelike is like fitting a circular peg into a hexagonal hole. By all technicalities it will fit, but it will not properly fill it out.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        I properly filled out your mom's pussy

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Necrophilia isn't something to be proud of

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Yes it's a roguelike under any sane definition
      it plays nothing like rogue, if someone is asking for a game like rogue, cdda or any roguelike they are gonna be confused if i send them noita, if they asked for a game like binding of isaac or spelunky (roguelites) you would give them noita

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      meh the only thing i want is a permanent edit wands everywhere as a reward for beating kolmi for the 1st time. It would make slightly easier to fight the other bosses

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Edit wands is the biggest thing nearly everyone brings up. It really and truly is just QOL at a certain point. But then again, everyone has mod access so, go for it.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          im a weirdo that doesnt like modding but thats my problem. I just prefer playing games as devs intended unless if i need a mod to fix bugs

  4. 5 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      that's some looney toons shit

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >total wins: 2
      completely shocked

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >mods enabled
      >is shit at the game

      yep

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      How are you getting screencaps that show the UI?

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Third party screen recorder, OBS etc.

  5. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    That's the funny thing about this game. Dying is fun.

  6. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >most intricate, fascinating system I've seen in a game in decades
    >it's a mediocre roguelike

    pain

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Based deranged fricking moron.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >oh boy I sure to like going through the same 'randomized' worlds in a pre-set order over and over fighting the same enemies over and over!
        based deranged fricking autist

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      true
      wish more games let you craft your own spells/attacks

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      most rougelikes are shit. this game isn't genreslop but something new alltogether.

  7. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >in a pre-set order
    HE DOESN'T KNOW
    NOBODY TELL HIM

  8. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    did they make this game not run like absolute ass during long runs yet?

  9. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    is this game fun though? i played it for 10 minutes and got bored

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Oh boy Noita time!
      Anna minulle pullo vettä tällä kertaa perkele

  10. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Simulate my ballsack noita I hate you so goddamn much

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >t. Parantajahiisi

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        what are they doing

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Ask your parents

  11. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    If the game had a built in spell tester it would take 10% of the time to complete.

    >Try new spell combo
    >Die immediately from it or within 10 seconds of using it
    >Repeat

    There are a lot of good combos but I was often afraid to try new things when a run was going well.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      If you have to wonder if a wand you want to build might kill you, the answer is 99% of the time yes, and you shouldn’t be using it to kill normal trash enemies.

      If you do not have a small penis, you will continue to use the suicide wand anyways.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        You people are genuinely so tiring in these threads. Just endless "git guds".

        Yes, well done for spending hundreds of hours and practically living in a wiki.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Noita
          >Looking in the wiki

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            Yes anon, you are the most epic gamer. I bow to your superiority. I know you finished the game on your first run, have never died, and every spell combination was immediately obvious to you and you naturally take the most optimum build.

            You may now leave the thread.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            How the frick would anyone figure out they had to drag the Friend through the Tower portal, a nearly impossible task even if you knew?

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              not required to have fun and play the game as its meant to be played.
              but yes a core flaw with the game is that a lot of the endgame content is designed around secret hunting discords.
              quite a shame honestly.

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              Doesn't the diamond say the word "friend" in autism runes as a hint? I honestly don't remember. One thing I never see people mention though is how the first thing you "read" each run is rubedo, which is the final stage of making a philosopher's stone. It could just be flavor text, but I always focus on it as some hint considering the salt names

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Yes, but knowing that the horror monster is what it means by "friend" relies on you having watched a streamer who called them that and set up a challenge for protecting them as long as possible.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          in the entire time, ive played Noita, i have never looked at a wiki.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >he cares about "completing" the game
      the real goal is to have fun taking what you have and making something useful out of it.
      if you REALLY want a "YOU WIN YAY!!!!!!!!" screen with fireworks and all that, go play a nintendo game.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        These sorts of people don't play games to enjoy them.
        They just want to 100% them as swiftly as possible so they can move onto the [NEXT THING].
        It's an indicator of mental disorder, much like speedrunning or - on the opposite end of the spectrum - spending 8+ hours every day playing and replaying the same game for the rest of your life.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >the real goal is to have fun
        the game's goal is impossible, then, as playing this shit is not fun. They really thought their autistic sand physics simulator would be enough to carry the game and forgot to make the gameplay fun and the world interesting to explore lmao

  12. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    The wizard/wand theme feels so weird in this game. You don't feel like a wizard and all, and all the game mechanics feel like they would work better with a sci-fi theme. For example, levitation feels like a jet pack or hoverboots. Disassembling and building wands feels like modding guns. "Casting magic" feels like shooting a gun, etc. Am I crazy? Why is it like this?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      because the game was originally conceived as a spiritual successor to soldat or some shit

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW
        RETVRN TO TRVDITION

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          I remember when I edited weapon jpgs ik paint to draw my own guns in soldat. Felt like a real modder/hacker

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            That's pretty cure Anon

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            are you trans btw?

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              No just a regular guy in my 30s

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Liero, actually. The game that the soldat dev went on to make was King Arthur’s Gold.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            >KAG
            That game is so fricking awesome. Makes sense Noita is inspired by that dev.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            Wings is another finnish game that is very similar with simulated pixels.

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              The sountrack for it is a banger.

              ?feature=shared

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          because the game was originally conceived as a spiritual successor to soldat or some shit

          >equip m79
          >suicide after shooting it 4 times
          Time flat circle etc

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Funny how Soldat had pretty impressive physics for an indie 2000s 2D game but they only used it for gore and grenades lol

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Frick off with that zoomer game, Liero is where it's at.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        No fricking way

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      I mean, you literally have stuff like shotguns but then you can make something that shoots crystals that piss acid and multiply themselves so much that the framerate grinds to a halt.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      I never made this connection,I see it making sense though. But I reject this outright.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Disassembling and building wands feels like modding guns. "Casting magic" feels like shooting a gun, etc.
      If you look at the lua code, wands are internally called "guns" in a bunch of places. And spells are "cards".

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        the game was originally about a gunslinging vampire that had to kill enemies and drink their blood to stay alive

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      just like bethesda renaming spells to guns in fallout 3

  13. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Every death...is your faul-ACK

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >he doesn't know about slime+acceleratium
      Yep, your fault

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        not him but I don't know
        I'll find out next time I play

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Fungal Caverns is a pretty common place to experience it the first time because of how many random potions there are and how many enemies bleed slime.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      If you hadn't kicked you'd be alive, rite? Learn from this misstake

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >just learn from your mistakes bro
        >just remember 900 different fatal combinations
        >durr skill issue

        t. save scummer

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          You do it in real life, what's stopping you here?
          ...
          You DO do it in real life, right?
          I'm assuming you are actually a regular human and not some sort of low-functioning chimpanzee blob that requires 24/7 tardwrangling from a put-upon social worker in order to keep yourself from choking to death on paperclips, stray lint, and your own saliva.

  14. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    should i be buying anything from the first shop each run? the cheap stuff

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      first shop sells a lot of shit thats hard to find for the rest of the run
      lot of its good

      black holes, chainsaws, lumis, drills obviously
      a chain bolt or a fireball orbit will carry you through the first couple levels solo
      all seeing eye is good
      long distance cast is busted once you find a teleport
      and usually any number of basic spells (spark spitter, triplicate, etc) are good to hold on to as cheap/efficient slot fill for later

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        thank you. screenshotted

  15. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >wow this is a sick looking wand!
    >Always Cast <fricking horrible spell to always cast>

  16. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    I just died to a new wand i picked up, according to the morons in this thread, this is the games fault.

  17. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    I love Noita

  18. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >696.1 hours
    >Not Recommended

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      why did you post a picture of me

  19. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Noita would be a fun game if it had more ways to restore health...

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      mod in 1hp per 5 second auto-healing
      much more chill

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      didnt they just add deadly heal

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >trick greed
      >blood money
      Infinite heals

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >implying the amount of hp you get from that does anything

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      there is like billion ways to restore heath, Black person fricking annoying wienersucker why the frick you post in here then Black person newBlack person fricking younger than millennials

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >chimps out with all the ways to heal
        >doesnt post one (1) single example
        ywnbaw
        ...also go dilate

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          cretin newBlack person keeps up with the newest cancer baby lingos?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >holy mountain heals
      >dark cave hearts
      >gourd cave
      >a couple healing perks
      >a couple healing spells
      >esoteric player+enemy magic combos allowing you to use plasma as a medigun for yourself
      What more could you need?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      making and infinite heals wand isn't THAT difficult
      barring that, once you have an infinite dig wand and a teleport wand (much easier to do than inf heals just because of RNG) you can just dip into parallel worlds for functionally infinite max healths

  20. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    My favorite part about Noita are the enemy names. the finnish language is so funny.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Reminder that Noita is a female witch. Closest male equivalent is wizard Velho

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Reminder, that it was deranged christian translation to "witch" with female meaning, original is that of a magic user/shaman.

  21. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    brb reinstalling I have forgotten everything.

  22. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    The top %1 of Ganker love Noita.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      It’s no surprise that it was made by Finns, who boast the 8th highest iq in the world

  23. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    I might play this game once they finish translating all the names into English

  24. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    every pixel is physically stimulated

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >play megumeme
      >don't even use nukes
      >get nuked instead
      deserved karma

  25. 5 months ago
    Anonymous
  26. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    every time I feel like playing noita I remember how tedious/slow the early game is, so I either end up cheesing the bridge boss or just give up after rushing and dying to ukkos a few times. how do i git gud?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      the early game is the fun part
      the actual tedious parts come after you get your first add mana and nothing is a threat to you anymore except the enormous span of world you now have to traverse to sift for random shit and infinite perks

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        ok that's a fair point

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      the early game is the fun part
      the actual tedious parts come after you get your first add mana and nothing is a threat to you anymore except the enormous span of world you now have to traverse to sift for random shit and infinite perks

      >early game is slow and boring
      >late game is tedious
      the problem is that the midgame, when you're past the early game but before the grind, is the best part.
      cant keep that midgame going forever, and once its gone you have to start over again and do the slog to get back

  27. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    shit game

  28. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    I love sawblades

  29. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    One of my first runs I found a wand with an earth cracking bolt. The thing shot in several directions around me, and collapsed the entire ceiling on me, crushing me to death. Game is amazing.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      i had some sort of acid fire cloud and one shot it created a cloud that melted through the entire fricking level killing everything and pissing off everyone

  30. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Noita isn't even a game, it's a glorified tech demo.

  31. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    No it a- in't

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous
  32. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    this game is boring and fricking sucks. If you like this shit you’re a homosexual.

  33. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Entering Mines Again

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Girl version because aint Noita a chick?

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        neither see

        Reminder, that it was deranged christian translation to "witch" with female meaning, original is that of a magic user/shaman.

  34. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >get to snow level
    >bullets everywhere
    Pretty much the sole reason why I go for the shield perks every time I can.

  35. 5 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      both

  36. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    I have 16.3 hours in the game
    0 wins
    I think I've made it past the third level maybe 4 times
    Holy shit I'm fricking awful

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      honestly sounds about right

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      It's heavily based off of RNG with a very minor skill component.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      I have 13 hours abd have made it to the vault once

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      I got my first win around 50h mark, after which I kinda gave up and just delved into the wiki. currently around 100h with 4 wins
      yes I'm that bad

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      well i got my first win after 70h because i was too clinically moronic to figure out modifier spells and differences between shuffler and non-shuffler wands

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      I got my first win at 90 hours.
      Still riding that high.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Nice! Wisdom will come to you.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      that's totally normal

  37. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Probably the worst game I have ever played
    I could just tell it was made by autists catering to the ""omg we love hard and edgy games"" crowd
    Hard just for the sake of being hard, zero fun
    Autist game

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      traditional roguelikes are like that. People play nethack or ivan or other old games for literally years without a win. it makes that eventual victory a monumental occasion. so it’s not a bad thing to be punishingly difficult. that’s how life is. when you finally win you remember it. unlike some aaaslop where your win is preprogrammed

  38. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    why should i bother

  39. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    frick this Temple I'm out

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      can we be frens?

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Yes

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Holy shit, I never thought to use berserkium to get these guys to shoot me. Thank you for this wisdom, anon.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            Pheromoning them works too

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              I wonder what was meant by powder bags having a new functionality

              That was usually my go-to, but berserkium is more efficient than chasing those buggers down to stain them

  40. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    you have learned to kick good, right anon?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous
      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous
        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous
    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      it's the one thing you can't do reasonably well with a controller, so no, i never did.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        you're missing out man

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Meanwhile I forget I can kick the moment after sending the minecart down into the mines.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Same.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous
    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >losing 6 health for some moronic trick you didn't need to do
      NGMI

  41. 5 months ago
    Anonymous
  42. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >die
    >close game angrily
    >wait 5 minutes
    >reopen game
    my top three games are all like this and i hate it as much as i love it

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >

      >696.1 hours
      >Not Recommended

  43. 5 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      that's a classic

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous
  44. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    it's not a roguelike because you play as a witch, not a rogue

  45. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Nightmare is wiener and ball torture

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      yeah but you get better wands

  46. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Ferazel skin when?

  47. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Never played this game before, but it looks like my type of game.
    Should I just buy it and start playing? Or is it so autistic that I'll have a bad time without some expectations? Seems like it can be a bit of a mind boggling game

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      yes, it's best experienced going in blind so avoid the wiki and tutorial vids as long as you can. expect to die a lot, learn from your mistakes, and die a million times more. it's not the destination, but the journey

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Just hop in, experiment and learn from your mistakes. When you die take note what caused your death and don't make the same mistake again.

        the game is fun and all but you don't get to try out wand building enough

        ok cool just gonna get at er then

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          And try to not read spoilers for the game until you've beaten it yourself a few times. Both "how do I X?" and anything else.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Just hop in, experiment and learn from your mistakes. When you die take note what caused your death and don't make the same mistake again.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        And keep in mind there will be hundreds of deaths caused by a random single pixel you couldn't see or an explosion from the other side of the map

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      the game is fun and all but you don't get to try out wand building enough

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Never played this game before, but it looks like my type of game.
        Should I just buy it and start playing? Or is it so autistic that I'll have a bad time without some expectations? Seems like it can be a bit of a mind boggling game

        It's a chaotic mad house like few other games manage to be.
        That said the vanilla experience is equal to hard-mode in other games. If you find yourself having too much of a hard time take a look at mods such as for wand-crafting everywhere, health pickups and glow on health-increase-pickups. These are training wheels but you'll get a lot more out of the game when just starting off.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Play blind for a while, after you get stuck that either look up or learn how building works and how to get in and out of holy mountain without breaking it. Otherwise you will not have a good time finding secrets.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      It's pretty fun (and challenging) to just jump in and go wild trying to discover and test shit out.
      But I do recommend getting the Spell Lab mod, it's a great tool for learning spell and wand mechanics (really should have been put into the vanilla game by now) and the mod designers have even put in silly small things like "achievements" to keep the learning fun and pedagogic.

      Though be aware that running the game with mods disable unlocks and the real Steam achievements, so make sure to disable the SL mod before starting a real game.
      Also, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLf7qutsgBU

  48. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    it's "game hasn't given you anything but 1 gorillion bouncing bursts by the snowy depths but no good wands or way to payload them" episode again

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      I like bouncing burst

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        it is good if you get damage ups or some modifiers to pair it with
        instead here I am stuck with level 1 wands with 1 second delay because lmao 15 slots that you can fill with the bouncing bursts :^^^^^^^)

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      You still have a tablet and your leg

  49. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >rogueACK...
    looks like pure shit to me

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      it's because you're wearing shit goggles

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      boring rogue-slop, dont care

      ... and that hardly matters in game.

      Unironically a shit game
      frick every single one of you tasteless morons who said this was good
      I dont have time to do a thousand runs until the rng decides i'm allowed to have even half a decent time again, i'm tired of the same old wands and spells, i love exploration but what i really dont want to do when i first get into a game is having to immediately engage in deep, esoteric schizo bullshit on some kind of autistic odyssey just to have the possibility of making any run work, the physics system is criminally underused, alchemy is also useless most of the time and similarly hamstrung by rng and the weird controls.

      >none of these posts are from a new ip
      try harder, or dont.
      either way the laugh is funny.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Either you're stupid as frick, you're trolling or you urgently need to update your Ganker X.
        That post of mine you quoted was my first post in the thread.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        ok moron, but your game is still boring crap.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          [...]
          [...]
          [...]
          >none of these posts are from a new ip
          try harder, or dont.
          either way the laugh is funny.

          hey i was the 4th guy

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          I didn't know Hiisi could type

  50. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    boring rogue-slop, dont care

  51. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >wiki game
    I only recently got the beta branch and found the meat dimension just by chance which was pretty cool but I only managed that because I already knew how to make an infinite black hole wand and already knew how to get through cursed rock and that you could dig through the rock in the first place and was already in a place that most people probably have no idea exists.

  52. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    i'm literally too moronic for this game. clearly i need to break my brain hard enough so it starts understanding the arcane inner mechanisms of this video game, but i just can't do it.

  53. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    PRO-PAINED

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous
    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >wizard game
      >most satisfying thing to do is kicking

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        fear not the wizard who can cast many spells but the one who has practiced one kick a thousand times...

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        A strong body is a strong mind

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        in hindsight, I replied to the wrong post

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        I haven’t seen Telekinetic Kick show up in a while… I really miss it.

  54. 5 months ago
    Anonymous
  55. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    This isn't a game, it's a funni webm generator

  56. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    I did not know that giga death crosses were a thing and now I am dead.

  57. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Orbs give spells even after being discovered
    >Also Orbs have actually useful spells
    Fixed your game

  58. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    educational webbum

  59. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >it's a worms anger gods and the statue cheese only does 30 damage episode
    It's getting stale.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      why did you break the worm repeller

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        The worm crystal does not repel worms. It says it does, but it does not.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          The crystal does nozhing!!!

  60. 5 months ago
    Lain Iwakura

    does anyone of you have a Steam Deck and does noita play well on it

  61. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Post Megumin getting rekt

  62. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    some of the spell combinations are really fricking terrifying to think about
    the other day i had just teleporting cast and explosion and i was just thinking about what it would be like to be a hiisi just idling in a room with other hiisi and then suddenly their fricking chest cavity explodes and you don't know why
    and then another
    and another
    until you're the last one left in a room painted with the viscera of your comrades

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      hiisi base became my favorite level
      >set crystal traps or homing rocks for groups to wander into.
      >rat/spirit/any on-death perks to watch a single hiisi killed chain reaction
      >vader rp with red dye luminous blade
      >end portals are always reserviors of blood and concentrated mana

      • 5 months ago
        Lain Iwakura

        i love hiisi base, its the most fun level, the levels after it arent as fun

  63. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Hella fun game, I always keep dying by the time I reach ice/snow place but restarting to try new things and getting new wands is always fun
    The particle/pixel system is kino and reminds me of that pixel-sand newgrounds game where you spawn different types of said pixels to create chain reactions and the like.

    Not really sure why people seethe about the game, too hard? not enough guidance to tell you what to do? RNG too much?

    Sorry, it's just a skill issue and/or you simple weren't the audience the game is looking for.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      forgot link related

  64. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    ... and that hardly matters in game.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >hardly matters
      lolwut?

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Tell me RIGHT NOW how impactful on gameplay every pixel of most materials you're walking near or on is impactful.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          If every pixel had impact than none of them would

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            >jobbed to his own cape babble

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              Not him and I jobbed both of you

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          the potential to be splatted by material chunks from earthquake
          how bits of material flake off the ceiling after big explosions
          specific hardness properties defining which spells can dig through what
          the fact that virtually any of them can be part of the recipe for alchemic precursor or healthium

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            >the fact that virtually any of them can be part of the recipe for alchemic precursor or healthium
            And then it's rendered completely irrelevant by the fact that maybe 0.1% of players have seen this thing naturally (implying they even saw it and it wasn't just happening off screen), and to further add salt to the injury and spit on the alchemy mechanic, the recipes are fricking seed based and completely inconvenient to do and collect in bottles.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            Its virtually omnipresent, wood and coal are constantly burning away creating new paths and hazards, things are falling, chemicals can be neutralized by water, blocked paths can be opened with explosives, you can kill enemies by kicking objects at them etc etc

            And none except fluids require every pixel to be simulated, a simple tile based procedural generation system would achieve the same.
            Also the fact that alchemy is either useless or inaccessible most of the time

            The game simply doest not provide enough tools and engagement with the environment for the autistic physics system to be fully validated.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Its virtually omnipresent, wood and coal are constantly burning away creating new paths and hazards, things are falling, chemicals can be neutralized by water, blocked paths can be opened with explosives, you can kill enemies by kicking objects at them etc etc

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            >wood and coal are constantly burning away creating new paths and hazards
            And can't be extinguished at all, amazing.
            >chemicals can be neutralized by water
            Toxic Sludge exclusively, which is one of maybe 5 interactions a player will encounter that is actual worth anyone's time.

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              >and can't be extinguished at all
              bro your slime?

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              >Toxic Sludge exclusively
              which is everywhere and basically a requirement. Mana can be trivially duplicated too

            • 5 months ago
              Lain Iwakura

              purifying powder can neutralize everything, cope harder

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >purifying powder
                Tell me how to get that shit more than once every 30 runs.

              • 5 months ago
                Lain Iwakura

                explore more, i get it every 5 runs

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          because every pixel can kill you

  65. 5 months ago
    Anonymous
  66. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Unironically a shit game
    frick every single one of you tasteless morons who said this was good
    I dont have time to do a thousand runs until the rng decides i'm allowed to have even half a decent time again, i'm tired of the same old wands and spells, i love exploration but what i really dont want to do when i first get into a game is having to immediately engage in deep, esoteric schizo bullshit on some kind of autistic odyssey just to have the possibility of making any run work, the physics system is criminally underused, alchemy is also useless most of the time and similarly hamstrung by rng and the weird controls.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      skill issue

  67. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >have black hole
    >find a greek letter spell without needing to fight big alchemist
    >it's zeta/mu/sigma

  68. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    NONE of you frickers have died a more bullshit death.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      if you haven't been killed by an enemy picking up a nuke wand then you haven't actually experienced noita

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      One pixel of lava teleports under you because a bottle broke one floor below you.

  69. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >4 hours into a run
    >Essentially deleting enemies with homing pinpoint of light with damage boost and duration extend
    >Literally looks like Yondu's arrow from guardians of the galaxy
    >Dog sneaks up and boops my elbow with her nose scaring the shit out of me
    >Gif related

    Absolute pain.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      wanna compare your laser dick to mine?

  70. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    WHY THE FRICK MY MOUSE SENSITIVTY FEEL HEAVY I CANT PLAY LIKE THIS I CANT AIM I FEEL SLOW I AM SLOW IS IT A BUG OR I BECAME DISABLED

  71. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Get a bunch of spells
    >Put something together on a wand
    >Either it doesn't work or it somehow kills me

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      There's a mod on the workshop that lets you frick around with spells/wands so you can get an idea of what works and what doesn't

      Otherwise just play and tinker and you'll figure it out

  72. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >enter the mines
    >hiisi just chilling with an urine jar
    ok, i'll just leave this little guy alone and hope that he doesn't drown in his piss jug if it breaks

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >battlestation thread

  73. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    where my fire mages at?

  74. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    oh nice, first noita thread of the year
    pic related: me yesterday

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Based and wisdompilled.

  75. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    I wish there were more layers to the main path and that they were randomised
    having to go through the same first 3 layers before the real shit can start is putting me off making a new run

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Alternate Biomes Mod
      You're right though, hopefully they add some vanilla alt-biomes with all the new shit they're doing.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        new what?

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Did you think the devs were done with the game?
          Finnish autism does not allow them to stop.

  76. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    what the frick is this

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      a worm infestation most like

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        that's way too big. Could it have been the dragon? The jungle is right above.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Spiders

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            oh shit
            I had no idea
            I kneel

  77. 5 months ago
    A Real Anthro Female

    Can someone post the webm of Noita shooting at a wall and it all quickly shoots back at him after some build up?

    That is the funniest shit.

    • 5 months ago
      A Real Anthro Female

      Nevermind, I found it.

      So can someone explain what is happening here?

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        triplicate bolt with bubble on bounce, probably with a shitload of divide-by spells on the bolts
        then he switches wands to a spells-to-[x] spell to turn all the bubbles into the spells
        then he gets fricking anihilated

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          spells to death crosses

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >blindly firing newfound wands

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Nevermind, I found it.

      So can someone explain what is happening here?

      >the Noita experience

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        I really should install the wand testing arena mod and just try building the best looking wand

  78. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    I hate this fricking mod so much
    no idea why its the highest rated of all time

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Same reason Masterwork DF is popular: morons don't want to have to make their own modpack so they install something that does everything.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Why? I like it a lot and I'm trying to do al the endings

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        it doubles down on the worst parts of noita
        >enemies that can polymorph you through walls
        >flying ball enemies that explode into annoying liquids
        >you can no longer tunnel into towers/adding a rock type that can never be destroyed
        >adding cursed liquid inbetween worlds which means you pretty much never have the ability to go to parallel worlds
        >multiple new items/things that instantly run end you (fungal essence)
        >bugged enemies (lost a run to a perpetually unkillable enemy that followed me around constantly dealing chip damage till I died)
        shit is just frustrating

  79. 5 months ago
    Anonymous
  80. 5 months ago
    Anonymous
  81. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    heart 🙂

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous
  82. 5 months ago
    Anonymous
  83. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >get glass cannon twice
    >a single triplicate bolt literally clears the screen of all soft physics objects
    lol

  84. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >stuck entities TP to the first free pixel directly above them
    besides the annoyance of gold fricking off to inconvenient areas every once in a while, this has gotten me killed when an explosive was suddenly in my face instead of safely behind rock

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >objects can tp through physical objects
      >enemies can tp through physical objects
      >the player?
      >nah he can get fricked and stay stuck on a single pixel he cant hit with his drill wand until something kills him or he wiggles free

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        if you get stuck after a while a little box of pixels will get deleted around you

  85. 5 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >hubris is your own undoing
      yeah that pretty much describes the endgame.

  86. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >250 hours
    >still no win

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      i applaud the grit it took to not look up anything
      i did, and i'll always regret it

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        who said I didn't look up stuff
        I know alchemical reactions, spell wrapping and most of the biomes
        I'm just a shitter

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        I played through the entirety of Darkest Dungeon with a wiki tab up at all times: It didn't really ruin anything, I enoyed and had fun the entire way through.
        I'd regret losing a great run due to chancing some mandatory decision with a guaranteed fail state, and no way of knowing which one, more.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          >I'm a huge homosexual
          yeah, we know

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            Some games are just worse without the feeling of discovery and some are just not. Given that Darkest Dungeon's "discovery" boils down to "This mechanic fricks you royally if you don't know about it" there is literally nothing wrong with looking stuff up. Nobody is missing out on any fun.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          who said I didn't look up stuff
          I know alchemical reactions, spell wrapping and most of the biomes
          I'm just a shitter

          there are large parts of the game that are very frustrating to figure out if you've got the wrong mindset about it, and those (spell ordering, alchemy) are usually the ones that people look up for themselves and then lose out on all that potential fun.
          the upside is that it still manages to be fun to experiment with, even if you know most things from the wiki you won't know everything.
          in my opinion, the weakest part of this game is that after a certain point, it feels like there's nothing left to explore. if you've looked up the guides for everything, you've made the suns, and can become a god at the drop of the hat, the gameplay isn't interesting enough on its own to sustain any more playtime. I can't help but wonder if I would think differently if I hadn't looked up so much.
          It seems strange that i'd be complaining about 600 hours of playtime not being enough for me, but i guess it's in contrast to the arcade games i play that'll always be fun, no matter how much i play them.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            >alchemy
            >nooo you can't just wiki that shit!
            >every run it's randomly generated recipes
            >no way of learning them outside of mods
            Yeah you can't have your pie (learning things as you go) and eat it too (rng out the ass)

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              Anyone claiming he knows the stuff in Noita and he just discovered it himself is a coping liar. Who the frick would tunnel towards parallel universes taking damage along the way? Not a whole lot of people that's who.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                99% of people would've quit noita before or just after beating Kolmi once if it wasn't for wikis

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >imblying the nerds who play this shit wouldn't have taken notice of the in-game cheevs
                >imblying the morons that play this shit cuz of oneyplays wouldn't have noticed the steam cheevo's
                Wiki helps but there are plenty of people who would naturally roam around after killing 3 eye.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                The early access version didn't have cursed rock between worlds, that was added later.

  87. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    did ((they)) increase the webm file size limit?

    t. left this place 2 years ago

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      4MB and VP9, go ham

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >vp9
        sounds cool even though I don't know what it means

  88. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >thread still up
    Does anyone know if swapping your PC calendar clock to the 25th december will give you santa Hiisi's or not? Asking cuz I was busy those days. Surely it's not dev locked?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      I remember seeing this question before, and iirc internal clock-h4xxing works?

  89. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    It's a shame they didn't put some of that effort into designing levels and just used AI to """precedurally generate""" everything.

  90. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    So I stumbled upon the new boss yesterday...

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Did that orb directly reflect the damage from the projectile?

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        So I stumbled upon the new boss yesterday...

        looks like you can see some triggers come out the other side just before noita becomes dust. my guess is that it's either basically a wizard king orb, or a new kind of orb that just zaps you for x amount of damage if you hit it.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        no the deer has passive damage reflection, meaning you have to have some form of infinite healing (plus saving grace as a safety net) to try and outpace the damage.
        that orb deals exactly half your health when it hits you.
        also those ghosts hurt you too.
        it's a really weird gimmick fight.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Does ambrosia work?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Oh wait, is that one last dev adding actual content?
      Damn, I guess I'll have to see if there's anything substantial

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >nothing about it on wiki
        >no video from SchizoForged
        >only update for game was like 800 kb
        Wait nevermind, it's probably fake or a mod.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          beta branch/discord

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            I don't get it. It's a future big update ?

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              new what?

              All devs left, this is just last guy adding shit every couple of months.
              Last I checked +6 months ago he added one special wand and like 3 shit spells like "summon fish" or "summon swamp".

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              It's going to be merged into the main branch eventually, they're just taking longer to do it than normal. I stay on beta full-time because I don't normally stop playing until I die/win, which means I don't have to care about saves getting broken by an update.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                how big is it?

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Not very.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      no the deer has passive damage reflection, meaning you have to have some form of infinite healing (plus saving grace as a safety net) to try and outpace the damage.
      that orb deals exactly half your health when it hits you.
      also those ghosts hurt you too.
      it's a really weird gimmick fight.

      These gimmick bosses are so fricking boring.
      >haha I'm invulnerable unless you come with this specific combination of spells and spend 30 minutes chipping away at my HP (don't hit me too fast though or I'll Gatling gun you with attacks)
      I can already tell this one is gonna be a shit boss, it'll go well with the Sea Beast that's right underneath it.
      I'd rather find Connoisseur on every floor than deal with more shit like this.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        You could probably kill him fairly easily by just sitting in ambrosia, then slapping him with a freeze+tentacle combo

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          >implying he won't be immune to everything unless you use a curse of weakening on him like Leviathan soon enough

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            >curse of weakening
            >working on enemies with immunities
            Anon, I..
            Still works great to give (You) immunities if you recruit a shyguy mage

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              There's no enemy that's immune to the weakening curses last I checked.
              And it does work on enemies with immunities.
              >Despite what the description says, the x0.25 bonus is additive, not multiplicative (i.e. an enemy with a x0.5 damage multiplier will take x0.75 damage with the curse, rather than x0.625).
              >Meaning that enemies with a x0 damage multiplier afflicted with the respective curse will take x0.25 damage, effectively ignoring immunities such as Kammolukki and Vakoilija.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >And it does work on enemies with immunities.
                not in the beta branch

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >last I checked
                >On 2023-08-15 beta branch, if an enemy has a 0x or negative multiplier it now will do nothing.
                I do think it's one of the shittier changes

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >And it does work on enemies with immunities.
                not in the beta branch

                Oh god fricking damn it.
                How the frick am I supposed to kill Leviathan now?
                Weakening Projectile Curse was my go to way and it's fricking immune to projectiles and takes like 0.01 from melee and slice.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                You need a better way anyways if you want the completion mark, since his projectiles are likely to kill himself and deny you the credit. Weakening melee/explosion would definitely work. Holy also deals normal damage, so one of the new spells will work perfect for harpooning him.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                I already had most of that shit ages ago. Was only missing the 100% spell because who the frick even gets that one except for cheaters.
                I guess I'll have to see how that new spell works out.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Enemy progress filtered me because of the heart mimic. Fricking chest mimic was bad enough. If I could force summon those pricks it would be fine but a <1% chance to spawn and even parallel worlds don't seem to help is just FRICKED.

  91. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    post god tier modifier and spell combinations

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Chainsaw + Chainsaw.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous
    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      orbiting arc

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Gamma + Omega

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Ah, I found an old screenshot

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          I suck at wand building, does this just shoot a shitload of homing, high damage, matter eating spark bolts at an insane rate or is there more to it?

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            It's been a while, but IIRC, due to various obscure interactions between greeks, divides, and normal spellcasting logic, this particular setup of Gamma -> Divide by 10 (at the end) -> Omega -> Reset means that when the trigger goes off, it casts every spell on the wand 30 times as a single block. So it casts 90 chainsaws all at once, each with a few hundred damage/crit mods applied to it. As you can see on the target dummy, it does about 780,000,000 damage per shot. The DPS number is only 1.2 billion, but I think that measurement was somewhat bugged due to the framerate going to shit as soon as the first shot triggers. I used this wand for NG+++, after replacing the Divide by 10 with Divide by 4 to keep the performance reasonable.

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              jesus, gotta save the screenshot for future reference

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Found a couple others in my noita folder

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                The other one

                Also, fair warning, all this info is from 3 years ago, so it might not work the same way on the current patch

                nice, thanks!

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                My ass is a little burned now that the guaranteed wand refresh doesn't drop any more (directly east of 2nd experimental wand in lake). I never seem to get it from boss drops

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                You mean the reset / white circle spell? Is it not in the Work shop?

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Shit, I should check there more. Always paranoid of getting polymorphed up there

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Yeah I normally go to the other one, for exactly that reason

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                The other one

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Also, fair warning, all this info is from 3 years ago, so it might not work the same way on the current patch

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      accel homing + rocks

  92. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >rogueshart

  93. 5 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      what

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        chest had gold and a ukkoskivi
        gold conducts electricity
        ukkoskivi procced on frame one. electrifying the gold minä was standing on

        since when can an ukko spawn with gold? is it a super rare chance or is this a mod?

        1% chance for any chest to give 2-3 different results from the roll table

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      since when can an ukko spawn with gold? is it a super rare chance or is this a mod?

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        rare spawn
        bombs can also spawn with gold

  94. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Any spell ideas? I'm not really comin up with anything that's not gonna detonate me with these lightning bolts. I do have electricity immunity but the explosion still deals damage

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Here you go. You can use the regular spark bolt with a trigger to save a bit more mana. Get better wands for more options.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Thanks bruh

  95. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Have a good ruin going
    >Grab the breathless perk since the other 2 were trash and I was out of gold to reroll
    >Killed myself instantly entering a pool of water holding an electric wand
    >AGAIN
    Foiled by my own moronation, a tale as old as time

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      The amount of times I've had an electric spell in a wand thinking "I just won't go into water with it in hand" and getting killed in that exact way is far higher than I care to admit

  96. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    DAMN MY MOUSE SENSITIVITY IS FRICKED
    WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO IT IS A GAME THING A MOUSE THING AND AN OS THING SOMEBODY SAVE ME

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      I feel like I read this post already not even 20 minutes ago

  97. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >make a tunnel with luminous drills
    >barely big enough to even fit through
    >on my way up to snowy depths again
    >flying ice head c**t had made its way down
    >takes me by surprise and basically oneshots me
    i swear my deaths are always super moronic fricking bullshit like this
    there were literally no enemies near the spot either a minute earlier, so cool to lose a run to this

  98. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    I have not looked up anything and I am getting slaughtered by my own moronation such as spawning a sea of acid on myself. This game is fun.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >allow for infinite ways to have a nice day in hilarious ways
      >build in death-cam recording option
      >anons provide you with free advertising while they entertain themselves
      >???
      >profit

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Here is a better edit of that killshot. Was lazy last time I converted it.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Dynamite magnets, how do they even work?

  99. 5 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      still not grumpy enough

  100. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    The lore for this game is so fricking ass.
    The Gods are fricking EGGS? Are you serious?
    And the worst part is this mecha nature magic shit that has 0 weight on the gameplay, no fusion of the three meatball spiders that represent each type and no factions fighting or anything.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      the egg stuff is most likely referring to how the world was created according to kalevala

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      the lore is just a fusion of finnish mythology and general european alchemic mysticism

  101. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Play for 45 hours and finally win, stop playing
    >Thread makes me start Noita back up for the first time in half a year
    frick you Ganker

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >finally win
      Buddy you barely even played the game if all you did was kill 3 eyes.

  102. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    You do use her skin, right?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      no the wizard is way sexier

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >weebhomosexual
      >uses mods
      >is bad
      Mmmm YUP, THAT check clears ahahahahah!!

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Nah. The only skin I use is random cape color one.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      no because I like Wiz more

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Nah, feminine Noita for me.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      No, I use the pony mod

  103. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    I am determined to win this run no matter what. I’ll keep you all updated.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      you can win the game pretty easily by just rushing every biome

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Surprised you even know how to start the game with your low IQ

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      i made a huge mistake. run is over.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        You can do it, anon. I believe in you. It returns in the same spot you shoot it from, so just move away when you shoot it [spoiler]or don't miss[/spoiler]

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Dangerous fricking weapon. But it instantly gibbed the fire butthole for me so it definitely still has a use.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Have you learned that you can pour liquids out of your flask without throwing them? Water bottle.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            I've tried spritzing him from a distance and as best I can remember, it only seemed effective to chuck a whole vial at him. I'm not usually willing to spare an entire vial of anything to kill that frick.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Projectile Repulsion Field holds them at bay, but you might need to stack it a couple of times? They speed up the further away you're from them tho, easier to dodge them if you keep danger close...

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      i made a huge mistake. run is over.

      >taking pictures of screen

      you are not smart enough to pass noita.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        i have Ganker pass on my phone not on my computer. i’m not doing screenshots when this takes me literally 2 seconds. deal with it.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Here’s another (you)

  104. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >check steamcharts for the frick of it
    >2k player avg
    wtf, that's more than most pvp multiplayer/fighting games

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      It's a pretty unique game with tons of replayability so that's not surprising

  105. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    make way, best perk coming through

  106. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >nukes
    >projectile duplication
    >fire resistance
    it's fun time

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      time to die

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        I had something similar but with 8 nukes and bouncing makes them duplicate. Also had explosion and fire immunities.
        Died to a single pixel of cursed rock.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          >8 nukes and bouncing makes them duplicate
          this would kill my pc

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            Yeah it froze a few times before the game decided to end me

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >cause of death: impact

  107. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >be me
    >find wand with nuke
    >"ok i'll drop the nuke and teleport away real fast"
    >die
    no regrets

  108. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why does it always feel like frozen depths and hiisi base are the hardest parts of the game? Jungle feels like a cakewalk once you get past those parts.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      they all have their difficult parts, it's just that if you only know how to build wands for mines and coal pits, jungle has much more similar distances between walls compared to the two before it.
      depths you have to have vision, hiisi base you have to have control over where things are exploding. in both cases you need to be working at the extreme distances, long and short respectively.

  109. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    That's cool, but it isn't another trash metroidvania? Every pixel being simulated would be nice in a good game.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      It's a roguelite, not a metroidvania.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      No map or nothing, lots of exploration but it's randomly generated. Major spots are fixed in place but everything around them changes etc. Def not a metriodvania.

  110. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    HOLY SHIT YOU CAN NOW SHIFT THINGS IN POUCHES!!!!!

  111. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >stand still for one second to rearrange inventory
    >sniped

  112. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >gf loves this game
    >won't stop playing it
    game fricking sucks. how do i tell her how bad of taste she has in games without offending?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Come out as trans

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      you don't deserve her, gimme.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      d-do you guys cuddle every night?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >has a noita chad gf
      >whines about it
      you dont deserve her

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      you should be arrested.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      How'd a casual brainlet lameo get a based gf like that? You're holding her locked up in your cellar, aren't you?

  113. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Your first win unlocks the wiki (potentially tens of hours in)
    There, better of both worlds

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >unlocks the wiki
      ??? (???).

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        As a self-imposed thing you silly willy

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      And mods

  114. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >ENTERED MINES

  115. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    what's the deal with the eyes you see sometimes in parallel worlds?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      unironically nobody knows
      they are an encrypted message that nobody has cracked yet.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      It's a cryptogram and nobody can figure out how to solve it.
      It's very likely it's going to go down unsolved as one of THE cryptograms and solved 200 years in the future long after you're dead. It's unironically zodiac killer tier hard.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        I have a theory the eyes aren't symbols of an alphabeth liek in regular cryptography, but instead directions like to draw something in space, maybe with some added steps/regular cypher layered on. The neutral position eye could be forward/backward in 3d. Someone tell the secret solving discord nerds my genius theory I bet they didn't think of THAT
        >captcha: ywnbb

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          the autists found out the eyes do actually encode text, in some bizarre text to hexadecimal to digits to base 7 system. They have confirmed that's how it works because they have gone in to the executable and modified the exact bits and bytes that describe the eye messages and they will change as expected. The issue is that the message itself behind all that is ALSO encrypted somehow.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          That's just a substitution cipher with extra pointless steps.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            Nah because the 'message' isn't the message, it's what you draw based on it. Maybe it comes out as some of the funny noita alphabet or something if you draw it out.

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              Since I lurk the discord purely to keep tabs on the cryptogram nonsense: this has already been suggested and tried in about 30 different ways by at least five people before.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Damn, you win again, autists

  116. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >telekinetic kick
    >hey whats that thing
    >it was a mine

  117. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >early levels
    >take tons of chip damage from slimeball homosexuals, hidden enemies and other minor mistakes
    >no longer able to explore without dying, have to escape to next level without finding any good wands, items, or hearts
    >repeat
    >level difficulty scales much quicker than my power, and eventually I die
    How do I play this game without just slowly losing by not finding the things I need.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Add the health drop pickup mod and/or slow heal under % mod

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Learn to kick stuff and throw tablets, you always have reliable access to both.
      Then take it to the next level and kick your thrown tablet for extra speed, power and style

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      You can make do with the things you find, you just don't know how to yet. Playing it safer helps too
      I remember getting really upset when I died after finding broken ass stuff early on, but I slowly realized that just about any run can be a broken ass run

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        How am I supposed to deal with not having a good enough wand base? I can make some makeshift spell configurations without too much, but when my wand has 0.6s cast delay and no mana it's hard to make anything great.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Skill issue

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Protip: after the first area, put your bolt spell on your bomb wand

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            Actually not a bad beginner's tip

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          You walk righg until you find a tablet
          You equip the tablet
          You wind up a kick
          You throw the tablet at your kicking leg
          You now have a reliable way to kill all enemies until the fifth biome even without wands

  118. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >drop down into coal mines
    >kill my spooky ghost self
    >win game
    It's just that easy.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      yeah its all fun until you spawn a ghost with an endgame teleport wand and he comes flying at you from offscreen at mach 10 and instagibs your dumb ass

  119. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >megumin skin mod
    >permanent TWWE mod
    >enable ghosts with mods mod
    >glowing hearts mod
    >stone buffs work in inventory mod
    that's right, it's noita time

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Me except it's fat mina instead of megumin

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >forgetting First Person View mod

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >it's real
        kek

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >it's real
        kek

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        This has to be unplayable.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          yeh

          kind of a pity, a little more work and maybe you had something there

  120. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    spurdo slime is the best mod and you can't prove me wrong
    that stupid ass face just floating from the darkness and spitting on you will never get old

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Gondola Hämis

  121. 5 months ago
    Anonymous
  122. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    as opposed to what, specially simulated?

  123. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    If only I could combine the thicc mina mod with the chubby mina one

  124. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    PS5 PORT WHEN?!

  125. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    R8 my current build. Getting ready to do some fun shit

  126. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    why isn't there a 100% speedrun category? who cares about the eyes? i want to see people kill themselves getting every spell in one run and taking 48 hours

  127. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    You Died!

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