>find purple planet, or paint existing planet purple in its entirety. >grav-lasso it

>find purple planet, or paint existing planet purple in its entirety
>grav-lasso it
>how & why does a grav-lasso work? We believe it does lol
>lob purple planet at imperial fortress world
>cataclysmic destruction of both planets
>on Imperial scanners it looks like their planet just exploded for no reason

It just wOrks

  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Not much of a fight then, is there? What kind of ork would want to kill people with LESS fighting?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Plot twist: all the orks are on the purple planet when it explodes, WAAAGH! Blurple goes down as the best WAAAAAAAGH in history among ork-kind, at least as long as they can remember (which is about 2 weeks).

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      WATS BETTER DAN 2 HOLE PLANETZ FOIGHTIN???

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    So, why haven't the orks won yet?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The galaxy is constantly in a state of complete chaos and war everywhere, the orks won a long time ago

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        That just means Chaos is winning.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Then why havent they won yet

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Chaos can't win, it would just be Order then. Nurgle would revert to being Isha and Khaine and Tzeentch would be reabsorbed by Khorne and Cegorach. Slaanesh would be revealed to be just a dream all along.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Tyranids, Chaos, and Orks all benefit from constant warfare
        >Fightin' is fun fer Orks
        >Orks iz always fightin'
        >Fightin' draws in more Orks cuz it's so fun
        >More Orks= more fightin'= more fun
        Sounds like Orks iz winnin' ter me.

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why bother hiding the planet when you can just paint it red so they can't intercept it?

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >why don't the orks just "thing that requires forward planning, meta awareness of their psychic effect, and a mountain of other assumptions"

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      They have to know of their psychic effect to do anything with it, unless we’re supposed to believe they think everything they do is normal despite nobody else doing it.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It’s Faith
        If you believe it works, it works
        If you know it works, it stops

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          this is exactly why orks don't "just win"
          their shit only works if they keep being orky
          the situation in the OP might happen but only if they do it for reasons like making the biggest bang they can because SMASH IT GUD BOYZ
          doing it for non-orky reasons is doomed to fail
          this is also why space marines are the biggest human faction; they live for the glory of battle and get a boost from the orks
          it's also why the raptors - who wear green - are the best chapter

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >unless we’re supposed to believe they think everything they do is normal despite nobody else doing it.
        Yes you idiot, thats literally what it is. Orks dont think red ones go faster "because we have magic that means our belief makes it so", they just believe red ones go faster.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        that is the entire fucking point of how and why it works
        it's a psychic placebo

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I sometimes wonder if whoever typed "have you ever seen a purple Ork?" could possibly imagine what he was creating ...

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I only have very superficial knowledge of 40k though board osmosis. What does the colour purple do for orks?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      just googled it, funny stuff

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why purple?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Its the color associated with stealth (like red is for speed) based entirely on the joke of "have you ever seen a purple ork? no? thats what I thought"

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        why wouldn't that apply to every color besides green?

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Because purple is the furtherst from green you can get and therefore the funniest color to do it with. Its also just generally garish and unstealthy.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Just to add, there used to be a possibility where some of your army would refuse to fight if the opponents army wore mainly green. Granted, it was one specific unit (Madboyz) and it depended on you rolling a specific result on a large table, but it could happen.
            It wasn't all bad, for the record. They couldn't fight, BUT NEITHER WOULD THE ENEMY - or at least they couldn't target the Madboyz ("Sarge, why is that ork calling me his mate and asking if I want a beer?" "Just ignore them Private, and they'll get bored and go away."), so you were able to move a decent sized LOS-blocking mob of lads up the table untouched (and then hope they got a change of mood when they got there).
            As I recall, anyway. Sadly my 'Ere We Go got nicked years ago (bastard) so if anyone has it can confirm I've not got Alzheimer's yet, that would be nice.

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Ork robots also had color-based targeting (when "programming" them one of the cards was something like "shoot at nearest non-green thing")

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why can't there just be a mass campaign to gaslight the orks into thinking they're just ordinary fungus, so they're never an issue ever again?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Because ork imagination magic was always one possible explanation posited by Imperial scholars, and never the actual canon. Well, at least until retarded normies swarmed the internet and started taking the jokes being made on Ganker at face value. Fuck, I hate you all so much.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      They would just laugh at you and think you're retarded and then shoot you. It wouldn't even be possible.

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Most Dark Matter in the universe are planets orks painted purple for just this reason, but once it was purple it was hard for them to remember it & where they put it, so they just forgot about it & picked up another planet to paint purple.

    Most of the universe is dark matter

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