First Time GM

>first time gm
>finally get a couple of newbies and a more experienced player
>newbie 1: will only play her super special custom race and refuses to fight
>newbie 2: outright tells me her character hates newbie 1's race right off the bat
>experienced player as it turns out only does "funny" joke meme characters who do wacky lolsorandumb stuff

This is going to tough isn't it.

  1. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    find better players

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      These are literally my only options.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        play online

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        oof

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Solo 5e

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Then let me bring you salvation, in the form of words of ancient wisdom, oft spoken in these very forums by experienced GMs of old:
        No game is better than bad game.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        No game is a better option than a bad game

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          literal nogames take

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            >trying so hard to fit in that you spout the buzzword where it's not appropriate

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >This is going to tough isn't it.
        Yes

        >These are literally my only options.
        No, you can

        play online

        >Play online
        Do this, It's what I did and I'm having the better rpg experience of my entire life.
        Better than being a no-games or a bitter and miserable gamer. Also, you may risk going in burnout and lose passion for the hobby.

        [...]
        Newbie 1 and 2 are sisters. One is autistic the other is a bit of a diva. Meme player is my friend.

        [...]
        [...]
        [...]
        [...]
        It's my only chance to do it, I don't know anyone else I can drag into this and no one else wants to gm or knows how. It may be my first time but I technically have more experience world building and story telling than even the experienced player and i've spent more time reading source books and mechanics because off my longing to play.

        I'm going to try and put my foot down and mitigate as much of this as possible, try to appeal to my friends love of fucking Zorro or whatever from One Piece, less Luffy. The sisters are just going to have to get along, I don't fucking know what else to do, I wouldn't even have asked these two if I had more options.

        >Newbie 1 and 2 are sisters. One is autistic the other is a bit of a diva. Meme player is my friend.
        It's ogre. Cut your losses now while you still can.
        >It's my only chance to do it, I don't know anyone else I can drag into this and no one else wants to gm or knows how.
        >I wouldn't even have asked these two if I had more options.

        I need the more experienced player to drive the party is the problem, he knows what to do and could possibly keep shit together. But then he's telling me about one of his typical wacky meme characters he's thinking of using during the game and my first thought is, dude you need to help wrangle the girls, please.

        I'm just going to have to ask him to pull back, bite the bullet. I'm just nervous because it's my first time.

        >he more experienced player to drive the party is the problem
        PLAY.ONLINE.
        Still a better option than this dumpster fine you're currently in.

  2. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    The only problem I'd have here is a PC hating another PC. The most important rule for chargen at my table is that you're in the party, you get along with the party, and you have a reason to stay with the party. That's how these games work.

    As soon as p2 told me that she hates p1's race I'd have asked
    >So how did you meet and become friends with p1?

    • 2 months ago
      Smaugchad

      This is good advice. Are the two female players not friends IRL? Because if not then OP has a problem right from the drop and should probably just make it about exploiting their drama and hooking up with one or preferably both of them. Are either of them cute?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah, there still need to be some extra rules to avoid characters beginning to hate each other in-game.

      Otherwise one might feel entitled to act like an asshole, thinking the other players can't inflict repercussions / leave. Has happened before: play by posts.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      I feel like it's fine for a PC to hate another PC at first but in every session they begrudgingly find something out about them that they either sympathize with or admire.

      They can probably say something like, "I work with PC because of their undeniable talents but on a personal level they irk me."

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Second this. Especially to start off, explain how pvp and fucking with other players is not allowed at your table. PvP is the fastest way for a game to end and there are only a small, small handful of circumstances where it can happen without ruining the table (and even then, only with experienced players who actually like each other in and out of game).

      Experienced player making lolsorandumb characters is fine as long as he doesn't fuck with your pace as a DM. If he does, take him aside and explain that he can do his funny stuff, but don't constantly try to subvert the game, especially if you're having trouble establishing a flow. Nothing wrong with a meme character as long as he doesn't try to subvert the tension of a situation.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        I need the more experienced player to drive the party is the problem, he knows what to do and could possibly keep shit together. But then he's telling me about one of his typical wacky meme characters he's thinking of using during the game and my first thought is, dude you need to help wrangle the girls, please.

        I'm just going to have to ask him to pull back, bite the bullet. I'm just nervous because it's my first time.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          How lolsorandumb are we talking and what's the overall tone you're going for in game? Because it might not be as much of a problem as you think it will.

          To put it another way, you will never get rid of references like Monty Python from tabletop and it is a futile effort to try.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            I'm not that uptight, it's an anachronistic fantasy setting i'm running so it's not like i'm anti fun or jokes. But the party needs a leader, right? The siblings don't have the focus to get the party moving. The autistic one keeps asking me how possible it is to get out of fights and, I mean there's ways she could but i'd like her to join but she seems totally nonplussed by action.

            When I was trying to help the other one make her character her eyes glazed over during character creation so fuck it, I can just hand her a premade character sheet and let her fill in some of the other details right? She's only playing cuz I asked but she hates "wordy nerd shit" so to speak.

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              I see, my suggestion to you is to keep your plot hooks tight and focused. It's what I do when I have really large and/or unruly groups. Make it very clear what they need to do and forego any mystery or exploration. This way, the party is always moving along and they're not always left to their own devices.

              For example, instead of a look for the man who murdered the mayor, make the plot hook something like "We know it was a member of the cult who murdered the mayor, but our hands are tied and we can't get to the murderer without it being seen as an act of war. So go get him by any means." Basically, clear and unambiguous goals are best for unfocused parties. Ambiguous goals require way more player input and will more likely bore your player who hates "wordy nerd shit".

              For your experienced player, just see how he plays and then talk to him if he's not stepping up. Also, have your npc's talk to him first so he's forced to engage the plot hooks.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Talk of PCs hating other PC's races reminded me of this

  3. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Shit that never happened
    >In a no-game thread
    I suggest following the example of the image you've posted, gay

  4. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Are they married to playing D&D 5e? Because you could actually do some interesting stuff in other systems. They could make for a good superhero team for example.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      You're playing with siblings, aren't you?

      Newbie 1 and 2 are sisters. One is autistic the other is a bit of a diva. Meme player is my friend.

      Shit dude, I wouldn't waste my time with a game like that.
      Better no game than a shit game.

      >playing with femoids
      Yeah, never do this. Especially not with "females". Roleplaying is a collective effort and you can't have people with too strong narcissistic tendencies join or it'll all turn to shit real quick.

      Then let me bring you salvation, in the form of words of ancient wisdom, oft spoken in these very forums by experienced GMs of old:
      No game is better than bad game.

      No game is a better option than a bad game

      It's my only chance to do it, I don't know anyone else I can drag into this and no one else wants to gm or knows how. It may be my first time but I technically have more experience world building and story telling than even the experienced player and i've spent more time reading source books and mechanics because off my longing to play.

      I'm going to try and put my foot down and mitigate as much of this as possible, try to appeal to my friends love of fucking Zorro or whatever from One Piece, less Luffy. The sisters are just going to have to get along, I don't fucking know what else to do, I wouldn't even have asked these two if I had more options.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >but I technically have more experience world building and story telling than even the experienced player and i've spent more time reading source books and mechanics because off my longing to play.
        Keep in mind that you're also here to officiate a game, not write a book.

      • 2 months ago
        Smaugchad

        Seems like this is going to turn into a double dating situation so you should decide right from the beginning of you want to hook your meme friend up with the audi or the diva

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        How well do you know the sisters? How well will they respond to you taking a more insistent approach? What is the overall problem with the custom race the autist wants?

        I need the more experienced player to drive the party is the problem, he knows what to do and could possibly keep shit together. But then he's telling me about one of his typical wacky meme characters he's thinking of using during the game and my first thought is, dude you need to help wrangle the girls, please.

        I'm just going to have to ask him to pull back, bite the bullet. I'm just nervous because it's my first time.

        >I need the more experienced player to drive the party
        If he's your friend, just tell him you need him to back you up and help hold this together. I've done that plenty of times for my friends, and had them do it for me in secret or in the open. We even jokingly refer to the role as "the GM's Hand".

        In fact, if the sisters would respond to it well, you could tell them the same! "I'm new at this, so I would appreciate if we could keep things simple and straightforward for this first run."

  5. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >2 women
    merciful lord anon just play videogames or something instead

  6. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    You're playing with siblings, aren't you?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Wouldn't have been my first guess, but it makes perfect sense. You are pretty smart anon.

  7. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Shit dude, I wouldn't waste my time with a game like that.
    Better no game than a shit game.

  8. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >playing with femoids
    Yeah, never do this. Especially not with "females". Roleplaying is a collective effort and you can't have people with too strong narcissistic tendencies join or it'll all turn to shit real quick.

  9. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Zoomer here
    I want to get into GMing but problem is that I'm new to this and I'm lazy so I just end up half assing everything. How do I make well constructed sessions. Should I just do published modules until I get the feel of running games?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >i'm lazy
      >i just end up half assing everything
      Don't GM. Ever.

      • 2 months ago
        Smaugchad

        That's a bit harsh but...

        Zoomer here
        I want to get into GMing but problem is that I'm new to this and I'm lazy so I just end up half assing everything. How do I make well constructed sessions. Should I just do published modules until I get the feel of running games?

        Anon isn't lying, a DM has to know more than his players for it to work so yeah there's no harm in running published adventures as long as you try to be sure you use good ones that don't teach you bad habits and you MUST read the whole thing and understand what's happening.

        An even easier lazier way to do it is just to create a very very small setting like just an inn with three NPCs in it and a few streets around it and a basement and some sewers. Throw some rats and some gangs of thieves in there, come up with some reason to engage with them and improvise from there.

        If they want to go outside that area try to discourage it and if they insist end the session and make another micro-setting for wherever they're trying to go.

        If it takes off, you'll start linking them together and thinking about the grave scheme of things. It's the opposite of being a worldbuildingfag and I encourage it over that.

        Try to jot down any major plot points you just make up on the spot so your players aren't later like "I thought you said the princess was dead" but you can always just pull something else out if your ass to rationalize it.

        The most important thing is mixing up RP and exploration and combat in the ratios your players want, and keeping them engaged.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >I want to get into GMing
      > problem is that I'm new to this and I'm lazy so I just end up half assing everything

      Dude what the fuck are you on about. I am also a zoomer but you literally just identified your problem and then acted like you still have a problem.

      The solution is to stop being fucking lazy you whiny retard. Actually write some hooks, entice the characters with the copious amounts of valuables in the PHB, DMG, etc.

      Fuck me

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      You're only going to get better with time. Your laziness isn't as important as your lack of experience. The more you GM, the better you get at constructing sessions as you figure out your own style and what works for you. Running modules can help you get better at running your own games. Hell, even just READING modules will help you if you are good at picking out the ideas you like and learning from them. Just accept the fact that your games will sometimes suck because that's infinitely better than being afraid to try new ideas.

      >i'm lazy
      >i just end up half assing everything
      Don't GM. Ever.

      >I want to get into GMing
      > problem is that I'm new to this and I'm lazy so I just end up half assing everything

      Dude what the fuck are you on about. I am also a zoomer but you literally just identified your problem and then acted like you still have a problem.

      The solution is to stop being fucking lazy you whiny retard. Actually write some hooks, entice the characters with the copious amounts of valuables in the PHB, DMG, etc.

      Fuck me

      Dogshit advice. Watch out for retards that just want to open their mouths and make noise without even thinking.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Dogshit advice.

        Lmao no amount of of experience will even come if they're too lazy to actually try. If they continue to run shitty half asses sessions their players will lose interest before they can even get a years worth of experience.

        If they DONT lose interest, then thats even worse: now you have a DM who's lazy habits have been deemed as acceptable and they believe that their laziness is perfectly fine because "Hey, MY people put up with it. MY people said they had fun"

        Like no dude, it's not about the fact that his games suck it's about the fact that he's quite literally said he's too lazy to try.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      You sit your ass down for about 2 hours and write an adventure.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >I want to get into GMing but problem is that I'm new to this and I'm lazy so I just end up half assing everything.
      I know people are sounding harsh, but being lazy is a fatal flaw for DMs, especially new DMs. We can argue all day about how much work a DM should do, but it is a fact of life that DMs must work much harder than players because they have to create something for them to enjoy. You cannot pull a game out of your ass. Your players might be polite about it, but they will know.

  10. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >first time gm
    >build extensive world you pour your heart and soul into.
    >make a cast of characters and unique monsters born of Gankertism and speculative evolution.
    >Three players engage in the world and RP.
    >One player is entirely disinterested and complains constantly and gets depressed if he can't CC an entire encounter or gets hit by something.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Guessing you can't gently remove the unhappy player, such as by suggesting that they might enjoy a different game more?

  11. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Funny OP, i once DMed a single session and it went much like yours. I never DMed again.

  12. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    5E games end before just before level 10 in ~90% of all reported cases.

    This game might by shit, but all you have to do to maintain friendships is power-level them to around 9, giving 'Milestone XP' or doing really hard fights that you pull punches for or 'Roleplaying Experience' or whatever the fuck, then after a few months of being fucking annoyed, you can casually bow out, stating some bullshit about 'being too busy to keep up with the time investment,' and when anyone/everyone complains, you can show them this graphic, and just feed them something like:
    "SoRry, I thOUght you GuYs kiNdA kNeW thiS is NoRMal foR HoW This gAmE gOEs..."

  13. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    This is a terrible group to have to run with, at the very least 1 and 2 should both be dropped. Assuming 1 is the person that hates "nerdy word shit," you are setting yourself up for failure. You can't force someone to enjoy a hobby that they don't want to enjoy. You're only going to have everyone be frustrated. 2 is very likely to be a problem even if you boot the other girl because it sounds like they have no chill. If the first thing they do is decide "I hate another player's character," they're going to be the sort of person who keeps starting shit with other people if they get a bee in their bonnet. As for the experienced one, playing "wacky" characters is best handled through communicating what you'd like to get done and understanding what they want to do. They might actually be able to play a real character, even if the concept sounds like a meme. On the other hand, if they insist on playing something retarded and disruptive and won't budge, then they are just as much a problem as the newbies.
    >These are literally my only options.
    But these aren't your only options. Go to FLGS, put up a flier, ask people there who are already interested in the hobby. If you can't do that, go online. If you can post this thread then you can post a gamefinder thread, or recruit interested people in this thread. You might still get some bad players, but run a one shot, keep whoever's not a shit until you have a party you like and go from there. You've got more options, you just have to be willing to try them.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      The autistic sister got into it from my description of setting up a campaign. Her sister got into it because I asked and she wanted to see what the fuss was but she hates nerd shit mostly.

      She's the main instigator and picks fights with her autismo sister. My friend coming out of left field and trying to yuck it up with his wacky character made me panic and make this thread as a cry for help. I'm going to ask him to tone it down, he's told me some cringie stories he thought was hilarious from his other group, something about a Paladin named Tiffany in Pathfinder or whatever.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Your game is fucked no matter what you do. Either cut and run or keep going to find out how bad it can get and walk away with a funny story to tell.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Tiffany is legit a popular name in the middle ages, short for Theophania.

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