What in Davy Jones' locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I'll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I've led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o' swag. I'll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o' pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o' monsoon that'll wipe ye off the map. You're sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o'er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o' the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I'll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o' the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn't, ye didn't, and now ye'll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I'll shit fury all over ye and ye'll drown in the depths o' it. You're fish food now, lad.
>Wife plays on your Switch, PS5 and PC >Sees a new game in library >”How much did this cost?”
Both of us have well paid jobs so video game costs are completely neglible for us – still annoys the frick out of me.
The peak of my gaming experience fell on the middle 00's in a nasty 3rd-world shithole of a country, I physically can't comprehend how and why people buy video games.
>brother and gf visit >they are all lovey dovey with each other. seem happy >My 6th sense of women tells me she seems a little too happy. seems like a psycho to me despite trying hard to be nice and liked there is something off with her >they go back to their home that they bought together >few days later they have a fight and she bashes his head with a glass jar >he grabs her arms and pins her to the ground. >he then sits on her and takes the glass jar out of her hand and opens it up and poors the contents out on her. >shes humiliated and calls her mom, says my brother is being abusive >her mom shows up drunk and bashes down the front door, brother needs to throw her out >she calls the cops, brother arrested >she takes a baseball bat to his truck and causes over $10k in damages >he spends $5k hiring a lawyer for 2 weeks >in my shit for brains country the government presses charges whether the "victim" wants to or not. so he needs to deal with that
for once tfw no gf is good.
Also its funny to me how i can tell i women is batshit insane after talking to her for 30 seconds yet my simp brother loves her, god dammit.
>game library sees myself on my room
>"Wow, you really need a girlfriend"
>
>bought
>not pirating
You're doing it wrong.
Actual moron
Get a job
Okay, where?
Construction if you have to ask
Arrghh matey, ye not be the brightest landlubber
Shiver me timbers! walk the plank ye salty dog! ye cant understand a joke!
that's the joke he posted a pirate picture
What in Davy Jones' locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I'll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I've led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o' swag. I'll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o' pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o' monsoon that'll wipe ye off the map. You're sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o'er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o' the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I'll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o' the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn't, ye didn't, and now ye'll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I'll shit fury all over ye and ye'll drown in the depths o' it. You're fish food now, lad.
AAAAAAAAHAHHHHHAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAAA
>you'll never be a skeleton driving a sea truck during a storm and wearing a red bandana
I can't deal with it bros
>gf sees my game library
>"So... I'm guessing you own a PS5"
PS5 has 7 games you unfunny cuck
*also on pc
>Wife plays on your Switch, PS5 and PC
>Sees a new game in library
>”How much did this cost?”
Both of us have well paid jobs so video game costs are completely neglible for us – still annoys the frick out of me.
>gf sees my game library
>"Wait, what the frick is Rapelay?"
>"Babe, what the frick is Suck My Dick Or Die?"
>"MEET AND HUH???"
respectful nod towards the op for a chuckle
I will never get a gf because I know that b***h will try to make me sell my games at some point. Frick women
>wife's boyfriend sees my game library
>"Sheeeit"
The less normalgays know the better, quit bragging about it because normalgays and israelites will ruin everything if you don't gatekeep harder
I don't brag about it and I certainly won't teach anyone. Paypigs need to exist so the rest of us can keep pirating.
Do you fear death-uh?
The peak of my gaming experience fell on the middle 00's in a nasty 3rd-world shithole of a country, I physically can't comprehend how and why people buy video games.
she thinks youre a loser and doesnt care how you acquired them
>wow you bought a lot of guns
>hehe she doesnt realize i actually stole them
what a man
>brother and gf visit
>they are all lovey dovey with each other. seem happy
>My 6th sense of women tells me she seems a little too happy. seems like a psycho to me despite trying hard to be nice and liked there is something off with her
>they go back to their home that they bought together
>few days later they have a fight and she bashes his head with a glass jar
>he grabs her arms and pins her to the ground.
>he then sits on her and takes the glass jar out of her hand and opens it up and poors the contents out on her.
>shes humiliated and calls her mom, says my brother is being abusive
>her mom shows up drunk and bashes down the front door, brother needs to throw her out
>she calls the cops, brother arrested
>she takes a baseball bat to his truck and causes over $10k in damages
>he spends $5k hiring a lawyer for 2 weeks
>in my shit for brains country the government presses charges whether the "victim" wants to or not. so he needs to deal with that
for once tfw no gf is good.
Also its funny to me how i can tell i women is batshit insane after talking to her for 30 seconds yet my simp brother loves her, god dammit.
Didn't ask
post em