HE

HE

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  1. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why are they making DK suffer, they even gave him a crown of thorns

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      miyamoto fricking hates him since he became the icon of the snes

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        you wish gay

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          dkc was actually used to sell the snes least in the states for a while over mario/zelda it was that popular which miyamoto on record seethed about baiscally calling it shit people only liked from its "3d" graphics

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            that was deboonked actually

  2. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    died for our sins.

  3. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    What was his crime?

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Being born

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      mogging SMB3 and SMW with the DKC trilogy

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      His coconut gun fired in spurts.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        THIS COCOCNUT SHIT - ISN'T FUNNY

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          IF YOU KNOW THE WORDS

          YOU NEED TO have a nice day

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        his fault for illegally modifying a semi automatic coconut gun

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        My coconut gun just dribbles

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      He went bananas in the temple of Kongsalem.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      war crimes
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gombe_Chimpanzee_War

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      ENJOYING A MEAL? A SUCCULENT BANANA MEAL?

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY DONG!

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          >not Kong
          One fricking job anon.

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            moron

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      He spoke truths the mushroom kingdom couldn't handle

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      probably threw his feces at some toads in the mushroom kingdom

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      blasphemy according to the israelites

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Tried to overthrow Peach's monarchy and bring democracy to the toads.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Is that why Peach has no crown in her new game?

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      He noticed things.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Being overrated

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      He tried to expose ~~*them*~~

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      He went a little bananas.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      https://voca.ro/1npKNxuMvyJZ

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Source on this rocking audio?

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          (Me)
          >Find it myself from the filetitle
          >It's FNF shit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEWJ-K1SMig
          I'll take it, I guess.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        sounds so good

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      he said Black person on a public minecraft server

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Engaging in monkey business

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Insider banana trading.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Captive of the great ape war

      • 11 months ago
        Boco

        >shouts and gunfire

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      I dont know if its true but Im reminded of the story that at the peak of Nintendos hubris during the SNES they didnt think anyone could make a better platformer and then Rare made the DKC series and made Miyamoto really butthurt. And thats why Nintendo gave Rare the cold shoulder for many years before they were sold to Microsoft.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        They didn't, they kep making games for nintendo as usual. But miyamoto was butthurt and that's why he made yoshi island look the way it looks

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Spews as bunch of unfounded rumors
        Rare was going to shit regardless of Microsoft. Better to have a big fat check from Bill Gates than trying to prop up a dying company.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Crimes against kongmanity

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Banana embezzlement on Kong Street.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      He worked for Chiquita in the 90's.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      https://i.imgur.com/BfQj6jm.png

      HE

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      He pissed on my fricking wife.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      He went apeshit

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      You know how people are always saying Cranky is the original DK, despite having Diddy and Dixie's body shape, and Wrinkly showing the old version of a Gorilla Kong would stay Gorilla-esque?

      This is the actual original DK, the one who went to prison for assault, property damage, public endangerment and kidnapping. He even does the barrel thing again at one point.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      he was quick and nimble and quick and nimble and quick and nimble and quick and nimble

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      He told the israelites they were bad people so now he's being crucified.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Ape trafficking

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Ape escape

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      kidnapping
      trespassing on a construction zone
      public endangerment by throwing barrels

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        It's been over 40 years, surely that's enough of a sentence.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          He's a repeat offender, the system clearly can't reform him so he must be contained

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Quick rundown for the uninitiated

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        I miss him

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      War crimes during the Great Ape War

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        What I'll never forget is the sound. That awful sound. Whenever I hear a crunch it's like I'm back to those dreadful days.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous
    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      he's BACK AGAIN AND ABOUT TIME TOO AND THIS TIME HE'S IN THE MOOD

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      He was a minority

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      What is truth?

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      ~~*they*~~ found out he could notice things and was immune to his happy box

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Breaking the Geneva convention in Vietkong

  4. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    He has a crown
    And funny eyes
    This wise ape
    Is crucified

  5. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Is this symbolism for the state of the DK series?

  6. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    When I was young I used to think that was a crown of thorns

  7. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    At work and cant watch the trailer

    Are all the toads generic looking like modern paper mario or are they retaining their unique designs?

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      game looks really faithful minus breast physics (size unchanged though)

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      It looks just like the original

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Trying to leave Marrymore.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous
  8. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    I cannot fricking believe they kept this, especially after the superstar saga remake swapped out the DK skeleton for a generic cartoon one. I'm so glad they're willing to do shit like this again, maybe one day we can get a full crossover and mario can fight fricking k. rool

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >I cannot fricking believe they kept this, especially after the superstar saga remake swapped out the DK skeleton for a generic cartoon one.

      The Superstar Saga remake rushed out to bail out Alphadream's debt. They likely just scrubbed out anything that would have to go to the Mario IP team to review or Square Enix (Geno) to expedite the development. Rather than Nintendo telling them they can't have a DK skeleton.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      it's probably Squeenix who designed it, and they don't care about any mandates.

  9. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Who will Culex be replaced by?

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous
    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Why would Culex be replaced?

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Gilgamesh

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      What if he's not replaced, and is still a 2D sprite?

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      i don't even know who that is, yes i played and finished the original

      • 11 months ago
        Boco

        The hidden boss.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        When you step through that door and encounter a truly out-of-place Final Fantasy boss with 4 crystals, that's Culex.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Instead after being defeated, you can fight a guy who is a generalized Dragon Quest reference.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      クリスタラー

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        kurisutara?

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      He'll be exactly the same but as a huge 2D sprite like Octopath

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        That would be amazing.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Kefka

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Sephiroth

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Sephiroth in his shitty PS1 model from FF7 for the lulz

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Me.

  10. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    DK in chains
    >im the kong in the box

  11. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    HE HAS NO GAME
    HE HAS NO GRACE
    THI-THI-THI-THI THIS KONG JUST HAS NO PLACE

    HE CAN TAKE ROOL WHEN HE NEEDS TO
    AND ADD HIM IN SMASH JUST FOR YOU
    DELAY HIMSELF JUST LIKE D.N.F.
    THIS CRAZY KONG JUST GOT THE SHAFT

    HUH!

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      D.K
      DONKEY'S GONE
      D.K
      DONKEY DISAPPEAR

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      AND THEN THERES CHUNKY..

  12. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    HE HAS NO FREEDOM!
    HE IS A SLAVE!
    THI-THI-THI-THI THIS KONG IS FRICKING NIG...

  13. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Croco
    >Geno
    >Booster
    >chained kongs
    >Toads unchanged
    Mandate is DESTROYED

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      the mandate was always a lie, it was only a miyamoto suggestion that IS took to heart for not reason

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        >IS

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN!!!

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            The changes made to M&L Superstar Saga were 10 times more egregious than anything here. I really don't care if Dori looks like it belongs in a Mario game, or a Koopa looks more like a koopa. Making the eel less scary was pretty shitty though.

  14. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Anybody have the "this kong has a sentence for life" pasta? I can't find it anywhere on the instanet.

  15. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    will it have new content? the percentage thing at least shows it will have gameplay changes.

    i couldnt care less if its just the same game with modern graphic style

  16. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Deepest lore

  17. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    TRAPPED and BETRAYED by Diddy

  18. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    When I saw this I actually freaked the frick out.
    >He's red
    >He has chains
    >He's wearing a hat
    I had to try to explain to my friends why this was a big deal, because small details like this would be completely demolished by nu-nintendo normally.

    I was actually kinda shocked they kept mallow and geno in, but this is on another level. They actually respected the unique enemy designs.

  19. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    inb4 the translation gets unfricked due to not being done by a Squaresoft employee like the original and people call it soulless for replacing crap like Nokonoko Shell with Koopa Shell

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      We'll be lucky if that's the "worst" of changes.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      given that's how people treat the original animal crossing compared to all the games after it that's exactly what's going to happen

      be sure to remind them with screenshots when it happens

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      I'm actually interested in seeing what changes happen. SE games have a lot of translations, so I wonder if Boshi will be Washi or something.

  20. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Someone should make an outcry that this is offensive towards christians. If there was something that invoked muslim imagery it would get canceled instantly.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      1 - That's not a "crown of thorns" it's just a spike bracelet on his head
      2 - What kind of pull in society do you believe christians still have? You won't "cancel" anything going that route.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        The US is still overwhelmingly Christian, so plenty. It still wouldn't work because they wouldn't care, because it's a stupid thing to get upset about.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          Well thankfully christians aren't as nutzo as other groups out there and won't throw a pissfit over something clearly not targeting them.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        yeah people worship the lgbtqia+ now

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          Unironically.

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            i wasnt being ironic

  21. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    HAS NO HOME, HE HAS NO COUNTRY
    TH-TH-TH-THIS KONG LOST THE WAR

  22. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    HAS NO CONTROL, HE FOLLOWS HIS WHIMS
    T-T-THIS KONG MUST ATONE FOR HIS SINS

  23. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    BETRAYED and TRAPPED

  24. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    I miss that little time period when we had Kong lore posting on Ganker

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      it's quite crazy that Rare invented apu

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Reddit frog shit
        frick off

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          Why do you redditors feel the need to try and claim everything

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Wtf this homie looks like a brown apu

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        he's literally me

  25. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    HE IS IN IN CHAINS, IN CONSTANT PAIN, BUT HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID SO HE CANT COMPLAIN!

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      10/10

  26. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    My favorite theme in the game is the battle theme and it better carry the same upbeat intensity in the remake or they FRICKED IT UP.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Yoko Shimomura is working on it, so it should be okay.

  27. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Donkus Kongus, Rex Iudaeorum

  28. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Wait, I just remembered........this remake means more Boshi art

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      GOD I wish that were me (except with the entire yoshi tribe on my face)

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Well here he is.
      Also I never realized if this is officially how their feet look.

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        Huh, they're anklets now and not open-toed shoes. An improvement imo

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          >spoiler
          >t. raging footgay

          It feels illegal to know what their feet look like just like it feels illegal to see characters who wear gloves without them

          its toes were visible in the original though. also don't google that one pic of SA2-style Tails wearing sandals

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        It feels illegal to know what their feet look like just like it feels illegal to see characters who wear gloves without them

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          AUGH!!!!
          AAUGGGHHHH!!

          • 11 months ago
            Anonymous

            as if I needed another reason to never watch this movie.

  29. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    8 MBs a slave

  30. 11 months ago
    Anonymous
  31. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    HAS NO FREEDOM

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