According to one of the Magnus books, under his glamour he looks like just a plain old generic normal human. Peak of physical health and fitness, but otherwise completely unremarkable.
You joking? Naked Astartes would violate the shit of normal xenomorphs and predators. I gather that even a xenomorph queen would be a piece of cake for a fully equipped Astartes.
They have multiple hearts and their rib cage are fused into flexible turtle plates that then interface with a sub dermal black carapace synthetic muscle that acts as a bridge from their armor to nervous system. Oh and their bones are laced with ceramic and metal like budget wolverines
50/50 the xenomorph can claw its way out
In Alien 3, the xenomorph born from an ox (in special edition, it was a dog in original release) was much bigger and more developed than normal chestburster, and the ox died some time before the xenomorph got out, with the explanation was that the xenomorph was unable to get through the much stronger ribcage at the usual stage, and just kept feeding and growing. Astartes would be a similar situation.
A Xenomorph is like 1/30th the power level of a Lictor. An Astartes would just snap its spindly arms and bop it on its oversized head, then fold it in half.
Terminators in full gear die to stupid fricking genestealers in lore and on the tabletop. Why: cause the situation was shit (space hulk) and the enemy counters them (rending claws ftw)
Marines seem like gods because most of the time they fight in ideal circumstances for them: a strike on an enemy warboss, a decisive engagement in a chokepoint, a suprise attack from the sky or an elite squad boarding a ship. Marines pick the engagement 95% of the time wich makes them come out on top a lot
If you just throw them into a situation without planning or gear or battle brothers, they are just a big human thats slightly smarter and a lot faster... not enough to take a xenomorph (if he gets some prep time its a different story but naked the marine dies in seconds)
And all this is why anyone who wastes time reading Warhammer's lore or getting into the world building is a stupid moron. Space marines are 8ft tall demigods that can bench press 1000lb and wield guns that machine gun fire rocket propelled grenades and wear inches thick power armor that enhances their already op genetic implants. These guys can eat metal for sustenance, spit acid, never sleep, and can even read enemy's minds by eating their flesh. There is zero chance some melee oriented manlet alien could beat them just because they have "le sharp claws", but lorewise they have to be able to because of you applied any logic or rationality to the combat space marines would dominate everyone they fight and nobody would buy the other faction's minis. And that's not getting into how stupid Tyranids are.
>make dumb game 25 years ago where the genestealer needs to kill a terminator for the game to work >they retroactively write lore to fit that one situation even if it doesn't make sense the xenomorph ripoff killing a tank
b-but muh claws made of hardanium
Naked astartes definitely fricks the shit out of xenomorph even without a weapon but given the nature of their acid (although remember space marines have acid spit as well) they might be a bit fricked up afterwards, nothing they can't fairly easily recover from but they might be vulnerable to further attack
>naked astartes vs predator
Predator likely wins but the Astartes does have a chance if he can notice the Predator before he strikes
>naked astartes vs xenomorph
Xenomorph wins everytime, acid blood also means that any wound inflicted upon the Xenomorph that causes it too bleed would dissolve the Astartes. also the Xenomorphs tail can easily take out the Astartes.
>naked astartes with knife vs predator
the predator still probably wins but the marine can atleast block strikes now so he has a significantly increased chance of winning granted that he can once again notice the Predator before it strikes
>naked astartes with knife vs xenomorph
the Xenomorph would actually win even faster here as the Astartes would have his knife dissolve the moment he uses it on the Xenomorph
Bro, if a naked astartes stands out in the open with a knife the predator is honor bound to accept the duel. Considering a random Japanese guy killed one I'm pretty sure an Astartes would win every time.
Bro, if a naked astartes stands out in the open with a knife the predator is honor bound to accept the duel. Considering a random Japanese guy killed one I'm pretty sure an Astartes would win every time.
and also, the astartes can pick up a rock and kill the xeno without having to get in range of it's acid. Same goes for the knife.
IIRC, Death of Integrity had a naked and unarmed marine killing few genestealers while crawling through some vents. Pretty much the same thing as xenomorphs, though it should be noted that the confined space would be to the marine's advantage, as the genestealers couldn't use their numbers and speed while in the vents and they still got him in the end.
NAVP - Predator Victory, they are cunning enough to see a marine as a threat akin to hunting a shaved gorilla, so they won't try to fist-fight it, but might drop down to using melee weapons or javelins, which should still be enough to kill the Astarates.
NAVX - Marine Victory, honestly your average xenomorph, particularly in the later movies are literally just hormagaunts with acid-blood mutations, easily in the range of a marine to kill bare-handed with some minor-to-moderate injury via the blood.
KAVP - I think I still have to give it to the Predator, but the marine certainly has a chance here, mostly based on the fact that I don't think the Predator would increase his threat assessment based on the inclusion of a knife, so he would still engage with blades and spears which certainly gives the marine a chance. That said, I think the advantage is in the ballpark of the Predator.
KAVX - As knifeless, only with less effort and less acid-blood damage on the marine.
I doubt that most of the Imperium even knows what a space marine is. More than likely, it's the Imperial Guard that gets to star in the bulk of in universe smut. Some worlds probably even use it to recruit impressionable youths ("see the stars and get sent to the sexy Amazon planet!") or increase morale ("wait until you get back home and all the women see how brave you were!") just like we do today.
Most of them generally know that an astartes is one of the emperors avenging angel mentioned in the sermons of priests, it's also mentioned that people under xeno occupation or threat pray that a named raven guard captain or chapter master save them, I forgot which.
they probably dont know much true about them other than that they're great warriors.
They'd probably be making up shit about them, like how some middle-easterners thought american troops always wore their helmets because they had to kill their own mom to get it. or this song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qv6OOuPI5c0
when people are afraid of foreigners their imaginations run wild with the differences, it wast that common over the whole region, just a thing a translator brought up with me. you have a foreign army standing there, acting off entirely different mindsets, always wearing helmets and more local militias fighting them don't want you getting friendly with them. shit gets made up and spread, if you want examples, look to north Korean propaganda
>just like we do today.
today's porn is more like humans getting fricked by orks for demoralization purposes
we're far from the age of pizza deliveries
Technically the Big E could be any size he wanted. He can manipulate how he appears to others. Allegedly he's average man-sized without his warp frickery.
He looks like a largely nondescript man of about six feet, with dark hair falling to his shoulders and heterochromia. He's entirely normal, everything else is the glamour.
One part psyker glamour, one part using biomancy to buff himself up, one part armour, and remembering that he is functionally a Warp God in terms of psychic strength, the laws of physics do not work the way they should around him.
Those heights can't be right. His head is level with her teeth. That would make the remainder of her head 13 inches (so 14-15 inches total). I'm a 5'11" male with a ~10 inch head.
He's probably a few inches taller or she's a few shorter.
An ex of mine was 6'2" and lanky like that. I'm 5'10". I've also been with a girl who was in the 4'5" ballpark and if painted green would've looked exactly like one of those shortstack goblins. I hate to say it because the taller one was one of the prettiest girls I've been with and had the perfect body type of smallish chest with wide hips, but sex with smaller girls just feels better. Maybe if you're into being submissive. They get real heavy when they're tall. Smaller girls, you can absolutely ravage them.
The one I miss the most was exactly my own height and she was pretty fit. She could lift me like that easily. God I miss her body so much. She looked like a brunette Jinx.
Thanks for reading my blog. I'll go gosle for a while.
No. She was normally proportioned except short as frick. She liked to eat so she was a bit plump but apart of that, she was just... small. Like she was hit by a shrink ray. A wonder of nature. Hardest and best sex of my life, nothing compares. She really channeled my inner ooga booga
Please give me a pic of what that's supposed to look like 'cause all I see are the usual weirdly warped people. She was attractive with normal proportions.
8 months ago
Anonymous
Dwarfism is defined as anyone under 4'10"
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/dwarfism/symptoms-causes/syc-20371969
8 months ago
Anonymous
She was a really nice looking dwarf then lol
I fricking destroyed her every day
I always assumed most depictions of the Emperor were in universe propaganda and he was really regular sized. But if he really did get that big, I'd imagine it was sometime while looking for the Primarchs. He probably "grew" to make sure he was bigger than them.
It's just a psychic power, it's up for debate if he can even control it all the time.
Everybody sees him as a 8 foot tall gigachad, except for blanks who have no souls and are immune to psychic powers, and they see him as a shorter than average middle aged man.
People who are psychically proficient realise that the emperor never actually speaks, he just telepathically beams his thoughts into their heads, and it's debatable as to whether he's actually delivering what he means to them or they're just hearing what they want to hear.
Whenever this has been depicted though, all the narrative characters have been very unreliable; they're either very biased towards the emperor, or insane like Curze, so we'll never get a conclusive answer.
So far it looks like a good chunk of humanity sees the emperor as how they want to see him, rather than how he actually wants to be seen.
Yeah, someone changed "American" to "Australian". Aussies are kinda gay, but everyone knows Americans are the lowest trash-tier subhumans on the planet alongside poos.
The idea that the Emperor was averaged sized guy but always wore HUGE power armor and psyker'd an illusion to make himself seem bigger than his sons is my headcanon.
Because his psy power was enough to compensate for his humanity. Remember that he is the strongest psyker in the galaxy bar none. This was against Horus who was super-powered by all 4 chaos gods and spent an eternity training/suffering in 40k's version of hell
In the old lore? It's because he was reluctant to kill his most favored son. In the new lore? Because Horus and Emps were of equal power, relatively. With maybe Horus being slightly stronger.
I think the Emperor's super secret plan was to kill off the space marines and primarchs as soon as they weren't useful anymore. Just like the Thunder Warriors. It's a big reason why Horus ended up turning on him. If it's true then it also makes the fact that so many of the loyalists are willing to die for him extra hilarious.
Shameless Lore Expert here. According to Malcador (and a 75% chance he isn't just lying to the person he was revealing this to) the plan was always to get the primarchs to fight each other with their legions and thin out the space marine numbers but only AFTER the complete conquest of the galaxy was achieved. It's uncertain but most likely that this was the plan even before the primarchs got scattered by the prostitute/chaos. The only thing that went wrong in this plan is that it happened way too soon and big emps lost a few sons that he would have wanted on his side (i.e. Magnus namely but also potentially Horus)
they don't, they are perfectly engineered war machines, so obviously they would disable the sexual desires and make them into asexual assburgers to make them functional, they don't reproduce by sex anyways, they get implanted with extra organs and somebody elses seed, quite homosexual if you think about it.
Certain books imply that space marines just have nothing "down there". This being implied by an inquisitor (female) who was showering with space marines and noted that it was "a shame" after looking down at the lower half of a space marine. But this may not be the case for all chapters. Apparently the space wolves get to keep their dicks. One space wolf has apparently fricked a lot of women.
Gorillas supposedly have pretty small penises despite what their size would imply. Even by human standards. Or another way of saying that is, humans have suspiciously large penises by primate standards.
Anyway, possible. Possibly she was expecting more from the Gigachad body but the emperor felt no need to program such vanities in the soup.
>This being implied by an inquisitor (female) who was showering with space marines and noted that it was "a shame" after looking down at the lower half of a space marine.
I was under the impression that the implication here is that she thinks it's a shame because he has a massive dick but doesn't it.
1. 30k was a mistake, the more they add the worse they make it. Not immediately winning because he wanted to save his son is much more interesting than KAOS juice.
2. See above just repeating the thunder warriors plot again on a galactic scale against the space marine legions is reckless, stupid and likely impossible. It also makes the legions that turned to specific gods or that actually care about chaos double morons as they were still the stronger side they could have won without chaos corruption.
3. Unless is was very very recently its never been implied they don't have dicks, its been directly stated psycho conditioning destroys their sex drive.
8 months ago
Anonymous
30k is objectively more interesting than any space marine centric stories in 40k
8 months ago
Anonymous
>Marine on marine but this time with extra marines
Has never been interesting in either 30 or 40k and its popularity only serves to reinforce GW's idea that people only care about marines.
8 months ago
Anonymous
>30k was a mistake
Go back to your containment general 40kid.
>Calls himself a Lore Expert >Proceeds to misinterpret a book and spread incorrect information
Was an Inquisitor's retinue member, who liked to flirt with the Grey Knight, specifically because he didn't understand what flirting was, and said it was a shame because he had A MASSIVE wiener.
Space Marines have genitals, they just have neither the ability nor the human condition necessary to use them. No book has ever implied that they straight up don't have wieners, otherwise, they couldn't piss you fricking idiot. And since their armor has a system specifically to recycle urine into drinking water that attaches to their groin, they have genitals
8 months ago
Anonymous
>otherwise, they couldn't piss you fricking idiot
this just in: women can't piss
The Emperor still believed that Horus had some good left in him and could be redeemed, then he kills a guardsman in such a callous manner that the Emperor realises that he can't be saved and thus he deletes him from existence using his powers.
I mean, it's obvious that just killing mr everybody likes good boy sanguinius wasn't already a clear indication he was too far gone, but random guardaman? Now it's too far.
8 months ago
Anonymous
one is a primarch sized threat charging at him with a sword
the other is a guardsman
8 months ago
Anonymous
One is his loved brother and the emperor doesn't beat an eye, the other is a random human the emperor himself sent to the meatgrinder by the millions.
It's stupid.
8 months ago
Anonymous
One is his loved brother and the emperor doesn't beat an eye, the other is a random human the emperor himself sent to the meatgrinder by the millions.
It's stupid.
The Emperor was getting his ass obliterated. Instead of finishing him off, Horus paused to obliterate someone that had zero chance of hurting him. That brief moment was enough for the Emperor to desperately blast Horus and win.
If you go with the above version, we can continue to pretend the Emperor was a psycho that never cared about any of his kids or his people. He merely used that brief distraction to win.
they don't, they are perfectly engineered war machines, so obviously they would disable the sexual desires and make them into asexual assburgers to make them functional, they don't reproduce by sex anyways, they get implanted with extra organs and somebody elses seed, quite homosexual if you think about it.
proportionally smaller dicks as their overall size is enhanced, still huge wieners compared to regular humans, but it looks comicallly small on such huge bodies.
The Thunder Warriors were basically prototype Astartes. Stronger, smarter, but less controllable so the Emperor killed them off and replaced them.The fact that the new versions of the marines (Primaris) are the same height as the Thunder Warriors is meant to show how much they've improved over the old models.
Thunder Warriors are the oldest and they were big dick slinging chads, but not good for space conquerung so they got replaced by the cheaper model Astartes, then new and improved Primaris replaced Astartes
40k is VERY homoerotic and they should add in pic related.
It's completely moronic they don't have space marines and primarchs laying waste to pussy across the galaxy. At least we would get some different stories. After 40 some years, it's just weird at this point.
I think the Emperor's super secret plan was to kill off the space marines and primarchs as soon as they weren't useful anymore. Just like the Thunder Warriors. It's a big reason why Horus ended up turning on him. If it's true then it also makes the fact that so many of the loyalists are willing to die for him extra hilarious.
Most of the space marines, yes. The Primarchs, No. The Primarchs were suppose to rule different segmentums of the galaxy so the big E could work on the webway like the autist he is.
>NOO YOU JUST CAN'T CHOOSE TO LIVE FOR A HIGHER PURPOSE NONONO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU CAN'T JUST EMBRACE YOUR FATE NOOO YOU JUST CANT OK?!?!
Schlomo hands wrote this post.
In the old lore? It's because he was reluctant to kill his most favored son. In the new lore? Because Horus and Emps were of equal power, relatively. With maybe Horus being slightly stronger.
[...]
Shameless Lore Expert here. According to Malcador (and a 75% chance he isn't just lying to the person he was revealing this to) the plan was always to get the primarchs to fight each other with their legions and thin out the space marine numbers but only AFTER the complete conquest of the galaxy was achieved. It's uncertain but most likely that this was the plan even before the primarchs got scattered by the prostitute/chaos. The only thing that went wrong in this plan is that it happened way too soon and big emps lost a few sons that he would have wanted on his side (i.e. Magnus namely but also potentially Horus)
[...]
Certain books imply that space marines just have nothing "down there". This being implied by an inquisitor (female) who was showering with space marines and noted that it was "a shame" after looking down at the lower half of a space marine. But this may not be the case for all chapters. Apparently the space wolves get to keep their dicks. One space wolf has apparently fricked a lot of women.
40k gays inflate numbers every single time i see them post. >7 feet? why yes, the average astartes was 8 feet. it's only natural they'd be 9 feet on average, 10 feet is perfectly reasonable for an astartes baseline. primarchs could look sauropods in the eye and the emperor? he causes solar eclipses by standing up of course
40k gay here, its even worse than you can imagine: They even tried to inflate the basic humans. Yes, apparently to some 40kgays the humans in the setting are slightly bigger and stronger BUT also a bit less intelligent. This would completely ruin the entire point of having a "human faction" but they don't seem to understand that as bigger = better
Why did Matt and Trey take the side of the wokies here? My theory is they decided to a feminist episode to gain PC-points that they can they use elsewhere on more edgy stuff. Then when somebody tries to call them right wing they can point to episodes like these as proof that they're centrist. Why bully harmless tabletop nerds? Why not go after other groups?
we used to play settlers in a conference room in the library during lunch
Then one day a group of upperclassman girls came in out of nowhere and decided to tease us by wrapping their arms around us and asking us to teach them how to play while giggling. one even sat in my friends lap and gave him a wet willie. They got off on getting us all flustered. I still don't understand what happened
>>ITT: my hobbies include reading the WH40k wiki for fun and mocking trans folk and people of color online
only the mocking trans people (men) >>im a card carrying member of Sad Puppies
i dont know what that is >>*pushes up glasses*
i dont wear galsses >>A-Ayctually the Astartes Custodes have an additional implanted organ for neutralizing acid
i dont know what that means >>D-do you want to hear about the Astartes-Eldari War of 12,050 AD? O-oh you have to go to a party? h-how about afterwards if you have t-time mayb- *click*
i have never had this conversation
? are you still there
i have never said hello are you still there
i don't mock them. i calmly, lucidly and sincerely express why their opinions are wrong. thus causing them greater psychological harm than any amount of disparagement ever could. i know they're lost causes, all i have to do is make them realize it too.
I can't see Warhammer as anything other than just a constant, unending war between a bunch of cool looking factions. Over analyzing the fluff always makes it seem lame and dumb.
what's the point of the emperor being so big
emperors just have to make decisions
if your society involves your emperor having to heightmog everyone all the time or else he loses his job you're just begging to collapse
It's inspired by european religious art from the middle ages and late antiquity where rather than characters being depicted in realistic manner their size and relative position in the full picture held a symbolic meaning. Jesus and the apostles were typically portrayed as towering giants for example. Warhammer just took this and made the reality of the setting. They do the same with orks where they physically grow in stature as they gain status in ork kultur.
What do their genes say tho...
And can we get an xray of their pelvis bone?
How do these fricking mentally disabled creatures reconcile 'oh my science!!!!!!' With 'oh this man is totally a woman!!!'
they do not have sex canonically
not even the ones that worship Slaanesh like sex all that much, it's a lot more fun too torture people or play dubstep so loud that you liquify someone
Why don't they just genetically alter regular humans too so the Imperial Guard has corps of half space marine units to call on? In 40ks dumbass lore 1 Space Marine is capable of taking on thousands of enemy soldiers, so why not have millions of augmented Guard humans? Even if they only have a tenth of the Space Marine augmentations that still means each augmented Guardsman could kill dozens if not hundreds of enemy soldiers before they died. A 1000 Guard unit could solo entire enemy armies at that point.
They do modify regular humans but they end up in specialized roles like assassins. Also 40k humanity has lost most of their technology and doesn't understand how to even use most of what's left
The IG has tons and tons of elite units with augmentation and special gear. The issue is that there are billions of soldiers and its impossible to give them all with the best tech. Even in space marines there's different tiers within the chapters that get increasingly better gear and then there's different chapter who gets even better gear.
For the space marines - it is believed they are chemically castrated/mentally restricted in wanting sex. All that emotional energy is directed to killing.
There is a scene in Fulgrim where the astartes are watching some deprive extremely sexual play and they get really confused on the feelings they are having and they express these emotions by killing the audience who are currently having an orgy.
The SoB are literally just space marine (female). Arguably more badass as their stats on the table is very close considering they are not only un-augmented but don't have the black carapace.
How would the Breasts even be kept in a hypothetical female astartes?
They are pumped full of test and growth hormone- their chest muscles, over the fully enclosed solid bone rib cage, would be massive. I dont think they would have breasts at all.
Muscular women with boobs and soft jawlines are pure fetish material with no basis in reality. Even Female Bodybuilder porn models have to get implants and the same facial femininization surgery shemales get to pass just to stop from looking like men with thin eyebrows.
I take it to be that the Emperor made the Primarchs asexual and probably infertile - from his view there is no need for them to be bothered with sex and he also wouldn't want the complications of actual children of a Primarch. For Space Marines the process of making them (i.e. all the chemicals being pumped into them, biological grafting) reasonably destroys their sex drive.
They don't. This is a game for kiddies and soccer mums will create a twitter storm if GW started trying to sexualise the toy range. They are still trying to shake off the effects of Slaneesh from the 80s, it's why all the female models they do nowadays are butt ugly.
The emperor isn’t meant to be this big, part of his whole thing is being able to blend in with lots of societies, which wouldn’t work if he literally couldn’t fit through any doors for thousands of years
This is ridiculous. Astartes is where Space Marine height should stop, Primaris is where the Primarchs and the Emperor should be. This stuff is honestly looks like cartoon shit.
Big E and the primarchs can have sex without problems
Thunder warriors too and I think the custodes too but I'm not sure
Primaris and space marines it is impossible for them to do it
Rape is an integral part of war. I think Emperor made a big mistake in making space marines incapable of rape. Imagine them tearing through eldar pussy or kroot cloakas or bursting human women in a frenzy after battle. This way they could have a built-in way to release pent up aggression and be less of autistic manchildren than they are. It would also make them more efficient and scary to face.
emperor of mankind was only 7ft
even basic space marines are bigger
But aren't all the big guys based off his DNA?
with a heavy dose of genetic engineering and chaos magic
Can't he be w.e he wants? Projection or magic or w.e, thought he could present huge or normal or what have you.
According to one of the Magnus books, under his glamour he looks like just a plain old generic normal human. Peak of physical health and fitness, but otherwise completely unremarkable.
>present
So he's like trans? Like female presenting, but just big presenting?
wrong. Emperor of mankind has matter manipulation and psychic projection
He could be 100 foot, or 5 foot, depending on how he wants to portray himself
how does this go down
naked astartes vs predator
naked astartes vs xenomorph
naked astartes with knife vs predator
naked astartes with knife vs xenomorph
You joking? Naked Astartes would violate the shit of normal xenomorphs and predators. I gather that even a xenomorph queen would be a piece of cake for a fully equipped Astartes.
Astartes ARE fricking xenomorphs. Their biology is extremely enhanced and most even have their own venom. They'd murder everything just naked.
ok nerd how will they handle facehugger insemination and acid blood
They're immune to acid and being choked
at least one variety of Tyranid has some kind of acid weapon so they can't be immune to acid
But that's 40k moron level overpowered acid, makes xenomorph acid look like baking soda
I would say most nid acid you see will be weaker than xenomorph stuff but yeah the absolute highest tier of nid acid is gonna shit all over xeno acid
Facehugger ain't strong enough to force open their mouth muscles, their skin is acid resistant but i'm not sure by what degree.
They have multiple hearts and their rib cage are fused into flexible turtle plates that then interface with a sub dermal black carapace synthetic muscle that acts as a bridge from their armor to nervous system. Oh and their bones are laced with ceramic and metal like budget wolverines
50/50 the xenomorph can claw its way out
>all that scifi tecnobabble hyping him up
>50/50 the xenomorph can claw its way out
kek
In Alien 3, the xenomorph born from an ox (in special edition, it was a dog in original release) was much bigger and more developed than normal chestburster, and the ox died some time before the xenomorph got out, with the explanation was that the xenomorph was unable to get through the much stronger ribcage at the usual stage, and just kept feeding and growing. Astartes would be a similar situation.
Xenomorph is basically a less stealty lictor. and a lictor can easily take on an isolated marine WITH armor and guns.
We need to stop the marine wank: GW is bad with numbers and made them only have 1000 per chapter, but that doesnt make them gods in every scenario...
it's true, the strongest Astartes is a b***h compared to the average ork
A Xenomorph is like 1/30th the power level of a Lictor. An Astartes would just snap its spindly arms and bop it on its oversized head, then fold it in half.
Terminators in full gear die to stupid fricking genestealers in lore and on the tabletop. Why: cause the situation was shit (space hulk) and the enemy counters them (rending claws ftw)
Marines seem like gods because most of the time they fight in ideal circumstances for them: a strike on an enemy warboss, a decisive engagement in a chokepoint, a suprise attack from the sky or an elite squad boarding a ship. Marines pick the engagement 95% of the time wich makes them come out on top a lot
If you just throw them into a situation without planning or gear or battle brothers, they are just a big human thats slightly smarter and a lot faster... not enough to take a xenomorph (if he gets some prep time its a different story but naked the marine dies in seconds)
And all this is why anyone who wastes time reading Warhammer's lore or getting into the world building is a stupid moron. Space marines are 8ft tall demigods that can bench press 1000lb and wield guns that machine gun fire rocket propelled grenades and wear inches thick power armor that enhances their already op genetic implants. These guys can eat metal for sustenance, spit acid, never sleep, and can even read enemy's minds by eating their flesh. There is zero chance some melee oriented manlet alien could beat them just because they have "le sharp claws", but lorewise they have to be able to because of you applied any logic or rationality to the combat space marines would dominate everyone they fight and nobody would buy the other faction's minis. And that's not getting into how stupid Tyranids are.
Xenomorph and genestealers are pretty 1 to 1
Genestealers can mulch most of 40 if they get them confined in a hallway
>make dumb game 25 years ago where the genestealer needs to kill a terminator for the game to work
>they retroactively write lore to fit that one situation even if it doesn't make sense the xenomorph ripoff killing a tank
b-but muh claws made of hardanium
Naked astartes definitely fricks the shit out of xenomorph even without a weapon but given the nature of their acid (although remember space marines have acid spit as well) they might be a bit fricked up afterwards, nothing they can't fairly easily recover from but they might be vulnerable to further attack
>naked astartes vs predator
Predator likely wins but the Astartes does have a chance if he can notice the Predator before he strikes
>naked astartes vs xenomorph
Xenomorph wins everytime, acid blood also means that any wound inflicted upon the Xenomorph that causes it too bleed would dissolve the Astartes. also the Xenomorphs tail can easily take out the Astartes.
>naked astartes with knife vs predator
the predator still probably wins but the marine can atleast block strikes now so he has a significantly increased chance of winning granted that he can once again notice the Predator before it strikes
>naked astartes with knife vs xenomorph
the Xenomorph would actually win even faster here as the Astartes would have his knife dissolve the moment he uses it on the Xenomorph
Bro, if a naked astartes stands out in the open with a knife the predator is honor bound to accept the duel. Considering a random Japanese guy killed one I'm pretty sure an Astartes would win every time.
that movie was better than it had any right to be
how did such a moron race ever figure out interstellar travel
are there even predator nerds?
never underestimate the power of autism
Predators want too hunt and if they need FTL to do it then by God they will invent FTL
I honestly liked the non-canon movie explanation that they were a slave race that rebelled and took over a more intelligent race's technology.
Why can't they be intelligent beings that come to hunt like white people go on safaris?
white people don't just to throw down their rifle and fight to the death with a lion because he felt his pride was on the lion
*on the line
Because they lack honor
>Hunters don't just throw down their rifle and fight lions to the death because their pride is on the lion
The lame ones don't.
this
and also, the astartes can pick up a rock and kill the xeno without having to get in range of it's acid. Same goes for the knife.
Astartes spit acid bro, acid isn't an instant loss
IIRC, Death of Integrity had a naked and unarmed marine killing few genestealers while crawling through some vents. Pretty much the same thing as xenomorphs, though it should be noted that the confined space would be to the marine's advantage, as the genestealers couldn't use their numbers and speed while in the vents and they still got him in the end.
NAVP - Predator Victory, they are cunning enough to see a marine as a threat akin to hunting a shaved gorilla, so they won't try to fist-fight it, but might drop down to using melee weapons or javelins, which should still be enough to kill the Astarates.
NAVX - Marine Victory, honestly your average xenomorph, particularly in the later movies are literally just hormagaunts with acid-blood mutations, easily in the range of a marine to kill bare-handed with some minor-to-moderate injury via the blood.
KAVP - I think I still have to give it to the Predator, but the marine certainly has a chance here, mostly based on the fact that I don't think the Predator would increase his threat assessment based on the inclusion of a knife, so he would still engage with blades and spears which certainly gives the marine a chance. That said, I think the advantage is in the ballpark of the Predator.
KAVX - As knifeless, only with less effort and less acid-blood damage on the marine.
what can a naked astartes do anyhow?
consider this
naked astartes vs your fat ass you queer
They don't. Well, Slaaneshi chaos marines do, but they're weird.
2nd/3rd edition soacewolves do. There was even a codex story about them banging space vampires or something and it turns into a brawl
only in fanfics so who cares
>"By the Emperor, I demand more bullets!"
>only in fanfics
They have sex scenes in Black Library and Forgeworld books?
Only the Space Wolves.
You just know.
How popular do you think space marine smut is in the warhammer universe?
As popular as drafthorse porn in our universe.
I doubt that most of the Imperium even knows what a space marine is. More than likely, it's the Imperial Guard that gets to star in the bulk of in universe smut. Some worlds probably even use it to recruit impressionable youths ("see the stars and get sent to the sexy Amazon planet!") or increase morale ("wait until you get back home and all the women see how brave you were!") just like we do today.
>wait until you get back home
Joke's on them. Survivors don't get to go home.
Most of them generally know that an astartes is one of the emperors avenging angel mentioned in the sermons of priests, it's also mentioned that people under xeno occupation or threat pray that a named raven guard captain or chapter master save them, I forgot which.
they probably dont know much true about them other than that they're great warriors.
They'd probably be making up shit about them, like how some middle-easterners thought american troops always wore their helmets because they had to kill their own mom to get it. or this song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qv6OOuPI5c0
> american troops always wore their helmets because they had to kill their own mom to get it
You're fricking with me.
when people are afraid of foreigners their imaginations run wild with the differences, it wast that common over the whole region, just a thing a translator brought up with me. you have a foreign army standing there, acting off entirely different mindsets, always wearing helmets and more local militias fighting them don't want you getting friendly with them. shit gets made up and spread, if you want examples, look to north Korean propaganda
>just like we do today.
today's porn is more like humans getting fricked by orks for demoralization purposes
we're far from the age of pizza deliveries
Technically the Big E could be any size he wanted. He can manipulate how he appears to others. Allegedly he's average man-sized without his warp frickery.
Is his little bird a robot or just decoration
He looks like a largely nondescript man of about six feet, with dark hair falling to his shoulders and heterochromia. He's entirely normal, everything else is the glamour.
How could he fight super saiyan god Horus claw to claw? How did he fight that warboss?
psychicly
One part psyker glamour, one part using biomancy to buff himself up, one part armour, and remembering that he is functionally a Warp God in terms of psychic strength, the laws of physics do not work the way they should around him.
I think it's funnier to think of his suit of armour as practically a super-compact titan.
sex with what
>no steve rambo or steve hurley
What a waste.
wheres nikocado?
it would be extremely painful
Hes like 5'9 and shes 6'3 or some permutation. Can't have lies being fed to the public
>shes 6'3
that's elizabeth seibert, she's 5'11 https://www.wilhelmina.com/new-york/women/showroom-runway/8046-elizabeth-seibert
the funny thing is, women will actually believe those height labels. even though they're obsessed with it, they can't guage it at all.
omg she so cute and hot at the same time
I once was princess carried up by woman on a night out with friends
I was blushing and smiling so fricking hard
Good morning sirs
pics or gtfo
ITS NOT FAIR
sexo tummy
A whole minute of waiting and this video still won't load
iToddler detected
Works both on my PC and my phone.
Maybe you should try harder.
This little homie won a game I didn’t even know you could play
you'll never be able to hit her cervix with a gf that size
he is obviously tall enough for that
>he thinks you're supposed to hit the cervix
Hentai has rotted your brain.
Hitting their cervix feels like getting kicked in the balls to them.
Hentai has rotted your brain.
>Hitting their cervix feels like getting kicked in the balls to them.
Ball-kicking porn isn't exactly rare.
That guy won. I hope they're happy together. Cute couple.
They both cope in their own way. Check them again in 1 year from now when the masks will be off
[CHAIR CLATTERING]
What is their tiktok
she pegs him.
Man really won the game. I hope they're a happy married couple now.
How to find tall GF?
poor little white boy
Those heights can't be right. His head is level with her teeth. That would make the remainder of her head 13 inches (so 14-15 inches total). I'm a 5'11" male with a ~10 inch head.
He's probably a few inches taller or she's a few shorter.
An ex of mine was 6'2" and lanky like that. I'm 5'10". I've also been with a girl who was in the 4'5" ballpark and if painted green would've looked exactly like one of those shortstack goblins. I hate to say it because the taller one was one of the prettiest girls I've been with and had the perfect body type of smallish chest with wide hips, but sex with smaller girls just feels better. Maybe if you're into being submissive. They get real heavy when they're tall. Smaller girls, you can absolutely ravage them.
The one I miss the most was exactly my own height and she was pretty fit. She could lift me like that easily. God I miss her body so much. She looked like a brunette Jinx.
Thanks for reading my blog. I'll go gosle for a while.
according to this she was 4'2"
I can't believe she was that short
You fricked a dwarf, anon
No. She was normally proportioned except short as frick. She liked to eat so she was a bit plump but apart of that, she was just... small. Like she was hit by a shrink ray. A wonder of nature. Hardest and best sex of my life, nothing compares. She really channeled my inner ooga booga
That's called proportionate dwarfism.
Please give me a pic of what that's supposed to look like 'cause all I see are the usual weirdly warped people. She was attractive with normal proportions.
Dwarfism is defined as anyone under 4'10"
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/dwarfism/symptoms-causes/syc-20371969
She was a really nice looking dwarf then lol
I fricking destroyed her every day
5'11 vs 6'
I get the Emperor is a super powerful psychic. But why and how would he get so huge? Mentally changing is own biology on the DNA level?
Clearly he wasn't born that way because no one noted some random dude that was 10 ft (304 cm) walking around in the ancient Rome or whenever.
theres no lore for when E took his "final"? form
I always assumed most depictions of the Emperor were in universe propaganda and he was really regular sized. But if he really did get that big, I'd imagine it was sometime while looking for the Primarchs. He probably "grew" to make sure he was bigger than them.
He's also a scientist, he tried his concoction first then apply it to it's subject
He appears big because of his psychic power
For you
So he's like gandalf?
I remember there was a chapter in one of the books were it is mentioned that blanks just see him as a man of average height.
It's just a psychic power, it's up for debate if he can even control it all the time.
Everybody sees him as a 8 foot tall gigachad, except for blanks who have no souls and are immune to psychic powers, and they see him as a shorter than average middle aged man.
People who are psychically proficient realise that the emperor never actually speaks, he just telepathically beams his thoughts into their heads, and it's debatable as to whether he's actually delivering what he means to them or they're just hearing what they want to hear.
Whenever this has been depicted though, all the narrative characters have been very unreliable; they're either very biased towards the emperor, or insane like Curze, so we'll never get a conclusive answer.
So far it looks like a good chunk of humanity sees the emperor as how they want to see him, rather than how he actually wants to be seen.
With each other.
This is what the femboy legions were made for.
The Pleasure Johns, man.
Warhammer is definitely next-level dumb shit.
Very carefully
Can someone who is obsessed with the lore explain thes too me?
Seems pretty self explanatory, anon.
>australian
dumb af but i giggled
Oi yah fackin' c**t
oi
Yeah, someone changed "American" to "Australian". Aussies are kinda gay, but everyone knows Americans are the lowest trash-tier subhumans on the planet alongside poos.
Lel frick Australia
Hold on now
Necrons!
The idea that the Emperor was averaged sized guy but always wore HUGE power armor and psyker'd an illusion to make himself seem bigger than his sons is my headcanon.
How did he beat Horus if he was average Anatolian hunter-gatherer sized and not Chad Omega Death Machine sized
Because his psy power was enough to compensate for his humanity. Remember that he is the strongest psyker in the galaxy bar none. This was against Horus who was super-powered by all 4 chaos gods and spent an eternity training/suffering in 40k's version of hell
How come he let Horus completely frick him up and THEN used his gigahomie deletion beam? Should have just walked in the door and did that.
In the old lore? It's because he was reluctant to kill his most favored son. In the new lore? Because Horus and Emps were of equal power, relatively. With maybe Horus being slightly stronger.
Shameless Lore Expert here. According to Malcador (and a 75% chance he isn't just lying to the person he was revealing this to) the plan was always to get the primarchs to fight each other with their legions and thin out the space marine numbers but only AFTER the complete conquest of the galaxy was achieved. It's uncertain but most likely that this was the plan even before the primarchs got scattered by the prostitute/chaos. The only thing that went wrong in this plan is that it happened way too soon and big emps lost a few sons that he would have wanted on his side (i.e. Magnus namely but also potentially Horus)
Certain books imply that space marines just have nothing "down there". This being implied by an inquisitor (female) who was showering with space marines and noted that it was "a shame" after looking down at the lower half of a space marine. But this may not be the case for all chapters. Apparently the space wolves get to keep their dicks. One space wolf has apparently fricked a lot of women.
Maybe she was just a size quuuaaan.
Gorillas supposedly have pretty small penises despite what their size would imply. Even by human standards. Or another way of saying that is, humans have suspiciously large penises by primate standards.
Anyway, possible. Possibly she was expecting more from the Gigachad body but the emperor felt no need to program such vanities in the soup.
Maybe she said it's a shame because they're hung but also autistic
that is how I understood that bit of text too. a perfect lover man, with the personality of a exciteable T-800.
how can you give a single frick about the lore of 40k after the horus heresay?
It is the only interesting storyline from start to finish and everything else is boring trash
Horus Hearsay is what it was until the Emperor confronted his son, then it became Horus Fact
>Shameless Lore Expert here.
Isn't that what he tells a dying friend and after she dies we see his thoughts where it is a lie he told to comfort her?
>This being implied by an inquisitor (female) who was showering with space marines and noted that it was "a shame" after looking down at the lower half of a space marine.
I was under the impression that the implication here is that she thinks it's a shame because he has a massive dick but doesn't it.
Yeah that's what I would think
1. 30k was a mistake, the more they add the worse they make it. Not immediately winning because he wanted to save his son is much more interesting than KAOS juice.
2. See above just repeating the thunder warriors plot again on a galactic scale against the space marine legions is reckless, stupid and likely impossible. It also makes the legions that turned to specific gods or that actually care about chaos double morons as they were still the stronger side they could have won without chaos corruption.
3. Unless is was very very recently its never been implied they don't have dicks, its been directly stated psycho conditioning destroys their sex drive.
30k is objectively more interesting than any space marine centric stories in 40k
>Marine on marine but this time with extra marines
Has never been interesting in either 30 or 40k and its popularity only serves to reinforce GW's idea that people only care about marines.
>30k was a mistake
Go back to your containment general 40kid.
> One space wolf has apparently fricked a lot of women.
Wolf recruits are older than usual, teenagers instead of kids. I think the implication was that Lukas fricked them before being turned into Astartes.
>Calls himself a Lore Expert
>Proceeds to misinterpret a book and spread incorrect information
Was an Inquisitor's retinue member, who liked to flirt with the Grey Knight, specifically because he didn't understand what flirting was, and said it was a shame because he had A MASSIVE wiener.
Space Marines have genitals, they just have neither the ability nor the human condition necessary to use them. No book has ever implied that they straight up don't have wieners, otherwise, they couldn't piss you fricking idiot. And since their armor has a system specifically to recycle urine into drinking water that attaches to their groin, they have genitals
>otherwise, they couldn't piss you fricking idiot
this just in: women can't piss
Eunuchs are incontinent.
The Emperor still believed that Horus had some good left in him and could be redeemed, then he kills a guardsman in such a callous manner that the Emperor realises that he can't be saved and thus he deletes him from existence using his powers.
I mean, it's obvious that just killing mr everybody likes good boy sanguinius wasn't already a clear indication he was too far gone, but random guardaman? Now it's too far.
one is a primarch sized threat charging at him with a sword
the other is a guardsman
One is his loved brother and the emperor doesn't beat an eye, the other is a random human the emperor himself sent to the meatgrinder by the millions.
It's stupid.
The Emperor was getting his ass obliterated. Instead of finishing him off, Horus paused to obliterate someone that had zero chance of hurting him. That brief moment was enough for the Emperor to desperately blast Horus and win.
If you go with the above version, we can continue to pretend the Emperor was a psycho that never cared about any of his kids or his people. He merely used that brief distraction to win.
The size stuff is a bandaid to fix lore discrepancies and an excuse to sell bigger plastic models for even more money.
they don't, they are perfectly engineered war machines, so obviously they would disable the sexual desires and make them into asexual assburgers to make them functional, they don't reproduce by sex anyways, they get implanted with extra organs and somebody elses seed, quite homosexual if you think about it.
well there just vessel that the seed uses IDK think venom
proportionally smaller dicks as their overall size is enhanced, still huge wieners compared to regular humans, but it looks comicallly small on such huge bodies.
Why have them all increasing in size except those random two that are the same height?
thunder warrior where just prototype space marines
The Thunder Warriors were basically prototype Astartes. Stronger, smarter, but less controllable so the Emperor killed them off and replaced them.The fact that the new versions of the marines (Primaris) are the same height as the Thunder Warriors is meant to show how much they've improved over the old models.
Thunder Warriors are the oldest and they were big dick slinging chads, but not good for space conquerung so they got replaced by the cheaper model Astartes, then new and improved Primaris replaced Astartes
40k is VERY homoerotic and they should add in pic related.
It's completely moronic they don't have space marines and primarchs laying waste to pussy across the galaxy. At least we would get some different stories. After 40 some years, it's just weird at this point.
>they should add modern loreslop that completely ruins the setting
I don't think they should.
This is why 40k should send you incels to The Horus Hersey or Age of Sigmar. The Primarchs were made to BREED!
You're made to annoy and be shot for that, cancergay.
Why the Eldar haven't been subjugated as sex slaves is just pure woke pandering
I think the Emperor's super secret plan was to kill off the space marines and primarchs as soon as they weren't useful anymore. Just like the Thunder Warriors. It's a big reason why Horus ended up turning on him. If it's true then it also makes the fact that so many of the loyalists are willing to die for him extra hilarious.
There is literally nothing wrong with purging to ensure the survival of the human race
Most of the space marines, yes. The Primarchs, No. The Primarchs were suppose to rule different segmentums of the galaxy so the big E could work on the webway like the autist he is.
The Primarchs were all created to serve a purpose, space marines probably had it coming though
>NOO YOU JUST CAN'T CHOOSE TO LIVE FOR A HIGHER PURPOSE NONONO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU CAN'T JUST EMBRACE YOUR FATE NOOO YOU JUST CANT OK?!?!
Schlomo hands wrote this post.
>nu41k
>"lore expert"
Opinions discarded.
Just be happy that comissar dude fricks all over.
40k seems really fricking stupid the more I learn about it.
What will you do if he skips comic con and announces the adaptation at BasedCon
I just hope it is good.
It won't be and Henry's heart and dreams will be shattered again
Why? Is GW as woke as WotC?
It's trying very hard to be. It has been expanding into normie territory over recent years. Hence the show adaptation.
GW has been putting an Person of Color of African descent into the cover of each of their new books.
For some strange reason.
>How do they have sex?
kek but also that's incest so kind of disgusting to think about
shut the frick up moron normie scum
It's a children's table top game chud.
40k gays inflate numbers every single time i see them post.
>7 feet? why yes, the average astartes was 8 feet. it's only natural they'd be 9 feet on average, 10 feet is perfectly reasonable for an astartes baseline. primarchs could look sauropods in the eye and the emperor? he causes solar eclipses by standing up of course
40k gay here, its even worse than you can imagine: They even tried to inflate the basic humans. Yes, apparently to some 40kgays the humans in the setting are slightly bigger and stronger BUT also a bit less intelligent. This would completely ruin the entire point of having a "human faction" but they don't seem to understand that as bigger = better
>custodes
damn, jannies look like that?
Sex would make them Slaaneshi prostitutes and the Emperor is no Slaaneshi prostitute
This fellow just needs to stop trying with the normie thots and embrace the love of his buds.
the pony is wider than the diameter of the bottle opening
it's a mayo jar.
Why did Matt and Trey take the side of the wokies here? My theory is they decided to a feminist episode to gain PC-points that they can they use elsewhere on more edgy stuff. Then when somebody tries to call them right wing they can point to episodes like these as proof that they're centrist. Why bully harmless tabletop nerds? Why not go after other groups?
Wild guess? They were theater kids and never joined a game club.
we used to play settlers in a conference room in the library during lunch
Then one day a group of upperclassman girls came in out of nowhere and decided to tease us by wrapping their arms around us and asking us to teach them how to play while giggling. one even sat in my friends lap and gave him a wet willie. They got off on getting us all flustered. I still don't understand what happened
>take the side of the wokies
They didn’t? The episode ends with the mega-man troony getting dunked on by real women.
>>ITT: my hobbies include reading the WH40k wiki for fun and mocking trans folk and people of color online
only the mocking trans people (men)
>>im a card carrying member of Sad Puppies
i dont know what that is
>>*pushes up glasses*
i dont wear galsses
>>A-Ayctually the Astartes Custodes have an additional implanted organ for neutralizing acid
i dont know what that means
>>D-do you want to hear about the Astartes-Eldari War of 12,050 AD? O-oh you have to go to a party? h-how about afterwards if you have t-time mayb- *click*
i have never had this conversation
? are you still there
i have never said hello are you still there
based autism spectrum disorder poster who somehow never got into wargames
>ITT: my hobbies include reading the WH40k wiki for fun and mocking trans folk and people of color online
i don't mock them. i calmly, lucidly and sincerely express why their opinions are wrong. thus causing them greater psychological harm than any amount of disparagement ever could. i know they're lost causes, all i have to do is make them realize it too.
I can't see Warhammer as anything other than just a constant, unending war between a bunch of cool looking factions. Over analyzing the fluff always makes it seem lame and dumb.
>Um...Mr. GW? Can you release me? I want to go join the arcane team
what's the point of the emperor being so big
emperors just have to make decisions
if your society involves your emperor having to heightmog everyone all the time or else he loses his job you're just begging to collapse
It's inspired by european religious art from the middle ages and late antiquity where rather than characters being depicted in realistic manner their size and relative position in the full picture held a symbolic meaning. Jesus and the apostles were typically portrayed as towering giants for example. Warhammer just took this and made the reality of the setting. They do the same with orks where they physically grow in stature as they gain status in ork kultur.
>It's inspired by blah blah blah
get a girlfriend you fricking warrhammer nerd
trans women are women
What do their genes say tho...
And can we get an xray of their pelvis bone?
How do these fricking mentally disabled creatures reconcile 'oh my science!!!!!!' With 'oh this man is totally a woman!!!'
GW is even worse than Disney. They are one of the most incompetent, moronic entertainment companies to ever exist.
Is warhammer as gay as it looks?
Why are only nerds into it
Its not gay ur gay
Are they orcs? Bigger doesn't mean more powerful.
It is now. GW are fully committed to getting ESG money.
>In the grim darkness of the 41st millennium, there is only gay
they do not have sex canonically
not even the ones that worship Slaanesh like sex all that much, it's a lot more fun too torture people or play dubstep so loud that you liquify someone
I want Alerion and Aleya to frick. That is all.
Wait, so there's regular sized humans too? I thought Warhammer was a setting where all men are incredibly muscular.
The bulk of the Imperium's military is still made up by normal humans and the grunts have a life expectancy of like 20 minutes on the battlefield
Why don't they just genetically alter regular humans too so the Imperial Guard has corps of half space marine units to call on? In 40ks dumbass lore 1 Space Marine is capable of taking on thousands of enemy soldiers, so why not have millions of augmented Guard humans? Even if they only have a tenth of the Space Marine augmentations that still means each augmented Guardsman could kill dozens if not hundreds of enemy soldiers before they died. A 1000 Guard unit could solo entire enemy armies at that point.
They do modify regular humans but they end up in specialized roles like assassins. Also 40k humanity has lost most of their technology and doesn't understand how to even use most of what's left
The IG has tons and tons of elite units with augmentation and special gear. The issue is that there are billions of soldiers and its impossible to give them all with the best tech. Even in space marines there's different tiers within the chapters that get increasingly better gear and then there's different chapter who gets even better gear.
This franchise is gay as frick.
Extremely so. Never look up Lionel Johnson. Sorry, "Lion El'Jonson".
For the space marines - it is believed they are chemically castrated/mentally restricted in wanting sex. All that emotional energy is directed to killing.
There is a scene in Fulgrim where the astartes are watching some deprive extremely sexual play and they get really confused on the feelings they are having and they express these emotions by killing the audience who are currently having an orgy.
No Females allowed
They're yucky
How has this franchise not gotten cancelled considering how uninclusive the space marines are?
>"space marines are supposed to be evil"
The SoB are literally just space marine (female). Arguably more badass as their stats on the table is very close considering they are not only un-augmented but don't have the black carapace.
How would the Breasts even be kept in a hypothetical female astartes?
They are pumped full of test and growth hormone- their chest muscles, over the fully enclosed solid bone rib cage, would be massive. I dont think they would have breasts at all.
Muscular women with boobs and soft jawlines are pure fetish material with no basis in reality. Even Female Bodybuilder porn models have to get implants and the same facial femininization surgery shemales get to pass just to stop from looking like men with thin eyebrows.
Besides very carefully, in fiction I suppose
loudly and angrily.
Why does everything about this franchise feel like some teen's fan fiction?
Because it basically is.
I take it to be that the Emperor made the Primarchs asexual and probably infertile - from his view there is no need for them to be bothered with sex and he also wouldn't want the complications of actual children of a Primarch. For Space Marines the process of making them (i.e. all the chemicals being pumped into them, biological grafting) reasonably destroys their sex drive.
I clapped when the Emperor got off his chair and joined the fight in Master of Mankind
they dont, also the emps size is a psychic projection. the man was bor. 8k years ago from today. homie is like 5 ft at best.
They don't. This is a game for kiddies and soccer mums will create a twitter storm if GW started trying to sexualise the toy range. They are still trying to shake off the effects of Slaneesh from the 80s, it's why all the female models they do nowadays are butt ugly.
With each other, usually.
with ur mom
The emperor isn’t meant to be this big, part of his whole thing is being able to blend in with lots of societies, which wouldn’t work if he literally couldn’t fit through any doors for thousands of years
Out of all of them, only the emperor is big enough for an average human to be able to give him a blowjob standing up.
it's only fitting.
With your mom.
Every Warhammer character is a virgin, even the ones with kids
They don't, besides very rare exceptions.
Canonically they did not. Their pickle shrinks to the size of a grape and their nuts disappear.
The wrap their women in duct tape.
They don't. They surgically inject their cum into little boys.
They experience sex by ritually cannibalizing prostitutes.
Unironically canon. If a space marine eats a prostitute's brain he can experience what it's like to be pounded in the pussy.
This is ridiculous. Astartes is where Space Marine height should stop, Primaris is where the Primarchs and the Emperor should be. This stuff is honestly looks like cartoon shit.
yeah, duh. 40k is a cartoon shit setting.
They have to use their hands to hit that g spot. Why do you think the fists were obsessed with shit?
I hope it becomes Canon that space marines are eunics just to frick with you twats.
Big E and the primarchs can have sex without problems
Thunder warriors too and I think the custodes too but I'm not sure
Primaris and space marines it is impossible for them to do it
>without problems
Who are they even having sex with if they're 12ft tall?
the question isn't how but why
or whom
Rape is an integral part of war. I think Emperor made a big mistake in making space marines incapable of rape. Imagine them tearing through eldar pussy or kroot cloakas or bursting human women in a frenzy after battle. This way they could have a built-in way to release pent up aggression and be less of autistic manchildren than they are. It would also make them more efficient and scary to face.