How the frick do you even play this
Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68 |
Ape Out Shirt $21.68 |
Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68 |
How the frick do you even play this
Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68 |
Ape Out Shirt $21.68 |
Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68 |
you dont
next thread
Paint a goal on a map, some prior empire of whatever country you played.
Take care of logistics, encircle in pincers, win.
You need to eat feces first to build up a tolerance, then you play it.
>build lots of factories
>tech up
>build an army
>join a faction
>wait for one of the big nations to start shit
>join in on that shit
>(optional) if communist or fascist, wipe out a bunch of 3rd world shitholes to keep for yourself
i found Communist China, South Africa and the UK good nations to play when i was learning
Step 1 injure your head and become autistic
most of the work is automated and you can kinda go with the flow. you dont need to understand most of it on a deep level.
Turn that shit off and play RCT2 like a White man
>pick Germany
>build civilian factories
>follow the historical national focus (Rhineland tree). It teaches you what criteria you should prepare for to progress
>spend political power to modify your government for cool numbers, and to make political decisions
>train more divisions, modify them so they get stronger
>focus on building equipment that you lack
Nazi Germany is ez af for beginner, you also get to decide when to go for war and do it without much problem. Consider watching tutorial videos
What's the goal of this game? How do you know that you've won?
if historical, be the last ideology standing between Allies, Axis+East Co Propsrity Sphere, or Commintern
If non historical, just be the biggest SOB in the planet that no one can actually beat you.
So this game doesn't even have a "You won" screen and you just have to imagine that you won?
it has one during Historical IIRC.
It doesn't have a "You won" screen. You set goals for yourself and reach them. You don't imagine that you reach them, you actually have to reach them, but you do set the goals yourself.
>anon finds out about sandbox games
There are a ton of achivement that might as well be win conditions. For example form Communist China or invade the UK with Germany.
Not one of you mentioned that there is an actual end screen that scores you?
You can keep playing after that "screen" and you don't get nothing for seeing it. Not even a "You won".
civ v's got the same whats your point
You can keep playing after Civ V end screen?
Even if that is the case in that game it clearly says if you won.
>Anon doesn't restart to get the top score at the home arcade that is anon's PC.
Did the generals of world war 2 get a “you win” screen after japan surrendered?
>put your armies on the frontier
>put an arrow into enemy land
>click the start button
It took me like 2 days to figure it out. I don't play grand strategy games though.
pick Italy, beat Ethiopia, beat france by paradropping into Paris, put your combined French/Italian Navy in Brittany, declare on Austria but invade their the UK because those limeys just cant help but guarantee everyone and paradrop/naval invade, surround london but dont occupy it until you have the rest of the isles secured. Annex Canada, declare on the US early before they get their industry going.
There. you have 4 Major powers and all ther vassals under your thumb before Germany even breaks the Molotov Ribbentrop act
You download the Fallout mod and ignore the base game completely.
Best mods for hoi4?
Equestria at War, Old World Blues, Road to 56 RP
oh and of course Kaiserreich and Kaiserreich Redux, also check out Hagakure if you are gonna play in Asia
click button watch funny meme
that's it.
>2023
>still playing Paraslop
go to /vst/
Stellaris is better
>random research
no.
yes
maybe
perhaps
master of orion 1 is better
i have a friend who plays this 7 hours a day. autism sure is impressive.
>Play Italy
>Refuse the Anschluss
>Now I'm locked out of Italy First and forced to join the Allies
What is this shit. Why are they mutually exclusive.
>not taking the Pope path
Because HoI4 is a VN disguised as a basic Grand Strategy game. If the devs didn't think about it then it's not possible.
if you want an actual literal word to your mother VN just play TNO, its literally a VN in all but name
reminder this is after the update to the italian focus tree, which was before hand even more barebones
Where are these images from?
i remember making an army and then trying to attack and it sorta worked but nothing happened and i couldnt figure out why. never opened up the game again.
can you build germania in this game?
You can with the United *UMC* mod.
Otherwise no.
would you suggest playing with it?
8/10 if you like HOI and like a lot of autistic detail about Germany.
6/10 otherwise. I am actually very interested in a lot of those details so I liked it. The mod also has a lot more endgame content than the focus tree would have you believe. Lots of hidden events for stuff like what would happen after Hitler dies.
amazing. i'll figure out how to add it to my pirated copy
Godspeed anon.
Also use the dowser.
i have a dowser exe. what is it?
Its just the launcher for the game. You dont use it to actually launch the game though. You use it to set which DLC/mods you have enabled. After setting mods in there you launch using the normal EXE.
Cant help you much after that cause I actually bought the game though.
the only source of the mod seems to be steam and the steam mod download pages all seem broken. damn
I guess its over bro. If this wasnt a anonymous Tibetan basket weaving forum I would give it to you. Maybe one of these other anons can help you I dunno.
if the german reich gets big enough it becomes the greater german reich and berlin is renamed to germania. and thats in the base game
Thats not what hes talking about.
He means building the great hall that was Albert Speer's project.
Without the mod you cannot do that.
you can uh, pretend it happened. just uh idk play the berlin clip from man in the high castle on your second monitor and pretend thats literally you
Very based but when your playing an autism game like this and the guy is asking to build a historical building he obviously wants it to be a real mechanic. That mod will give it to him.
I WANT TO DRAIN THE MEDITERRANIAN
Thats actually partially represented in the mod too. You can start the dam project but it doesnt go further than that.
draw lines and press the button while taking a nap
Im still waiting for other colonies to have token focus trees, at least a liberty path, DE Indies, Philippines, Malaya, French Indochina, Egypt, Libya, Menkukuo, French/British Africa
>Having problems with Hoi4
>of all the fricking paraisraelite games
Did ya ride short bus to school?
>"uh Sir, I'm afraid you need to be on the autistic spectrum to install this game"
Basically
You have to watch a tutorial in Youtube.
Also play as Germany and then as the UK.
What's with zoomers and this game, my moronic nephew who couldn't even finish the first super Mario level and knows literally nothing about politics and history all of sudden starts playing this and listens to Red Alert 3 Soviet march.
Your complaining that he isn't playing bing bing wahoo?
I'm not complaining, I'm just baffled. I mean he cannot handle the slightest challenge in any VideoGame and just play Roblox, Minecraft or some other moronic smartphone games.
I don't even know how could he know about this game.
Well you can put HOI4 on easy and press like two buttons and the game will pretty much play itself. On the harder difficulties you do sort of need to actually understand how to play the game. The ai for the game has never been good.
Also he could just be shit at the game and like playing it anyway, I had nephews like that who are older now.
It's a tool paradox uses to turn normal kids into right wing extremists for their own personal gains.
t. turned into an extremist after hoi4
Let the AI manage your infantry and manually control your armor to encircle.
use naval invasion to land troops in the backyard of the enemy. the ai is braindead.
Sealion against the AI is always bafflingly easy, why doesn't Paradox update it so they actually fricking put a couple of divisions on it?
Sir. Please understand. We have to add a focus tree to Denmark.
Sir please do the needful and buy our DLC.
>battle for bosphorous added a focus tree for turkey and greece that was worse than the actual free mod that already did it
You download the pony mod, then you go commit warcrimes
This, pick the Yale rectorate and let an undead lich rebuild the Griffonian Empire... or be a bet and let the Sun god do it.
>been trying to play as the new Polar Bears
>building up takes forever and by the time you have an army all your neighbors have a bigger army
you dont need the numbers, the Bears are the best pound per pound units and has that trait where they can eat the enemies. kind of micro intensive but you can make consistent breaktroughs encirclements
>and has that trait where they can eat the enemies
Excuse me? I've only been trying to do a non-aligned Wellington thus far, is that something unlocked from the 'Let in all the exiles and then kill all the clans' route?
don't have sex
uninstall and play darkest hour
Tism
Worst thing about Paradox games as a newcomer is the ridiculous amount of ridiculously expensive DLC
See the problem is your playing the wrong game.
>Uninstall HOI
>install EU4
>Spend 1 day and 2 nights autistically redrawing Europe with new nations from your own head cannon
>Why Europe you ask?
>because frick every other continent they're just juicy booty made for BEC
>Start in 1444 and crush your hand crafted enemies, each given reidicouls modifiers so that non have less than a million man army by 1562
>All the way until 1746 when even game speed 5 cannot run at more than one tick in less than 23 minutes on even an Intel Optiplex Gigafrick 68900k
>Crash you PC in the 15th great war for the liberation of Krakow involving 7 great powers and 46 million men, only having joined to secure the last border province with 3 development in bumfrick South Africa & a humiliation of that bastard down in Florentine Carthage who dared sink my ship of the line back in 1675
>Quit out and never play again for 6 months
>Repeat
How come every time someone else plays a Paradox game they get autistic alt-history kino like this, but whenever I play I can only frick around in Spain or England and spend my whole time trying to build up enough money and armies to actually do something?
The game is about snowballing. The hardest part is the early game every time. Honestly use the console if you have to and frick ironman or any of that gay achievement hunter BS. Play it for fun, and ridiculous scenarios honestly I have to try to lose wars now. France is a good starter but nowhere near the fricking nightmare it used to be when the game it first came out. It was always my final boss. Take loans, you can bully people in peace deals for ducats. Play a big nation, you won't get wiped off the map in one war like an HRE minor. Save scum if you want, this way you don't have to start over. I honestly have to use the console to buff enemy powers lately because the AI just falls ass backwards into ruining itself since a few patches ago. The kino will come brother but it must come from you the player, you homosexual.
I like creating a religious mess in Europe to really spice things up. Heres a picture of a game I played a few years ago, mods were used (those help too, mostly graphics and create as nation options)
>not saving Ming and assraping the entirety of Europe with the Mandate of Heaven
>Caring about Opium bawds
Anon I....
Its the only nation thats fun to play tall as
>Playing tall
Anon I....respect your gameplay choice, playing tall can be a fun change of pace. I like the low countries and having to fight off powers East and South. I have like 2k hours but just never bothered to play outside Europa
>pick germany
>make it big