I'm sick and tired of pretending this game is actually good.

I'm sick and tired of pretending this game is actually good.

  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Yeah it's the best there ever will be

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      but it is, bitch

      It's not good
      it's great

      filtered

      gays who eat up fake hype and bandwagon gayry, everyone is calling these gays out but are still in denial

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous
        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >can't actually respond but wants to defend his shitty game
          Sad.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous
  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    but it is, bitch

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    ya never had to retahd

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It's fucking horrible, only liked by weebs and hipsters. The actual gameplay is trash

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      It's not good
      it's great

      filtered

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    GH is one of those games were a creator did what he wanted to do, how he wanted without caring about the industry, this is Mikami's most passionate work and if you can't appreciate that then you hate videogames.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Further proof the people who praise God Hand are posers.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >I like the game because.. someone else likes it!
      God Hand has always been The Emperors New Clothes of Ganker. Everyone just nods along and pretends that it's an underrated masterpiece because it's "Ganker core" or some shit. The illusion falls apart the moment someone actually plays the game and notices that it's a pile of shit.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Most probably a (you) problem. God Hand is unique like TWEWY and amazingly designed once you start knowing what you're doing especially on DIE difficulty.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >TWEWY
          You mean the other shitty poser game? You sure showed him.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >hating God Hand AND TWEWY
            Why are you such a gay?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        forgot your meds

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Aaaye, thanks, doc! [belches scrumpy gas]

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Beat em up
      >controls like shit
      >you hate vidya

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >he only likes games if they're made by his favorite guy
      have a nice day

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Don't act like you don't like the ball buster.
    (ball buster!)

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Fast jab, faster jab, mach speed punches

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    someone post the baby game review comparison already

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    This is one of the games everyone got meme'd to like, I bet most people that praise it barely played it.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I've beaten the game multiple times including on hard and a KMS run
      it's easily one of the best action games of all time, the fact that you have to time your counters instead of just pressing block at the right moment means you can master every enemy's patterns and never get hit
      you can also just unga bunga your way through the game and still have fun

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Tank controls don't make it better. They make it substantially worse.

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW I FUCKING HIT HIM DUDE WHAT THE FUCK

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      WOOOOOOOOOOOW THESE GAMES ARE SUCH FUCKING BULLSHIT

      current year Ganker tourists don't know who dsp is, anon...

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >seemingly comic relief character is actually strong as fuck
    ENTER TIGER JOE

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >seethes against you regardless if you used the god hand or beat him fair&square
      That was a funny detail.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      You're not alexander

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      this picture triggers my fight or flight instinct

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >seemingly comic relief character
      every character is a comic relief character in this game

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It was never good. It was terrible even back in 2006; we already had better action games like Ninja Gaiden at that point.
    The controls are terrible, and the camera is stiff and awkward. The game tries to be funny, but ends up failing miserably.
    It's just an extremely terrible game, and IGN was totally right.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Ninja Gaiden Black is so much better than God Hand in every single category it's not even funny.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        how many fights against wrestling gorillas are there in NGB

        >play the game well
        >game turns into cheap bullshit as punishment
        >play the game poorly
        >game becomes piss easy
        Dogshit design. Don't even say play on the broken difficulty at all times (hard mode)

        skill issue

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJGUe4_ENEw
          This is lame as fuck. Also this guy savestates out the ass.

          >mike kobe
          right the poser and casual shitter who got exposed during his livestream, he's only good for reading shitty visual novels. He died a fuckton when playing god hand normally, and got rekt trying sekiro KEK

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Your average God Hand "fan".

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >XYXXXY: the game
        >better than anything
        lol

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          It's way better than God Hand, that's for sure. Although, I suppose GH is better because of le funny "YOU'RE NOT ALEXANDER XDDD", yeah?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            nah god hand is better because you can't just fuck off and charge your gay cutscene attacks. Not mention GH has way better boss fights. ngcucks are delusional

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              >god hand is better because you can't just fuck off and charge your gay cutscene attacks
              At this point it's blatantly obvious you haven't actually played either game.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Yes, you utter retard. It's bait, and you keep falling for it like the retard you are. Maybe you're just baiting as well, I don't fucking know at this point.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                I have played them. Winds path stuns humanoid enemies only for them to get izuna dropped, whereas they drop a soul for that UT to be chained. Have you played these games NGbitch? last (You), fucko

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                GH's entire strategy on level die is cutscene attacks, which includes a lot of shitty QTE button mashing.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                right and chaining UTs on Master Ninja is so much better? gay

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Hell yeah. Takes more skill too.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                based, NGchads stay winning
                gonna boot up some NGB right now

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Ninja Gaiden Black is so much better than God Hand in every single category it's not even funny.

      [...]
      [...]
      gays who eat up fake hype and bandwagon gayry, everyone is calling these gays out but are still in denial

      I dunno anons. Very few games manage to make it satisfying to stay aggressive despite odds being clearly against you. Dodging with the right stick feels so natural and amazing once it clicks. Shame you didn't like it because it's my second favorite video game.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      How is Stalker "posercore"? Unless you are specifically referring to people who only play Stalker mods and not the original games.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >How is Stalker "posercore"?
        >dude i am not like the others i like slavshit 5/10 fps
        Dunno anon

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          The hell are you even saying?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Nothing
            Just mad they got filtered and forgot to play on Master difficulty

            It's like I'm on Ganker

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              >le master meme
              Poser confirmed

              just like a russia-ukraine thread

              >slavshit fag can't comprehend a fact that stalker is a below average fps

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Master meme?
                Playing on the other difficulties is bullet sponge bullshit

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >other difficulties is bullet sponge bullshit
                Just stop. You already confirmed that you are poser
                Difficulty affects only loot, artifact scarcity and how much damage enemies deal you retarded mongoloid

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Thanks, fake news

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              Master meme?
              Playing on the other difficulties is bullet sponge bullshit

              Master difficulty doesn't make enemies die faster, that's a myth from like 2010 that's been disproven.

              >other difficulties is bullet sponge bullshit
              Just stop. You already confirmed that you are poser
              Difficulty affects only loot, artifact scarcity and how much damage enemies deal you retarded mongoloid

              BTW, that guy isn't me.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                So I've been playing on Memester difficulty for nothing except actual increased challenge?!!

                hm
                I'm ok with this
                You're the poser

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                I just said I'm not the guy calling you a poser. But yes Master is more challenging.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      WOOOOOOOOOOOW THESE GAMES ARE SUCH FUCKING BULLSHIT

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >no ng2
      >no dmc 1
      Ngmi

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >moron gayden
      >worst bosses in all of gaming
      lol fuck off

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >worst bosses in all of gaming
        Someone never played DMC2

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        And some of the best enemies in all of gaming, so I couldn't care less about the bosses.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >enemies
          >cue braindead zombies, ogres, berserkers that turn the game into roll souls
          fuck off

          >worst bosses in all of gaming
          Someone never played DMC2

          Despair Embodied mogs any NG boss

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Your bait is awful. But I guess you got this final (You). Drink bleach.

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              ha you know it's true you ninja gay. That shit deserved it's fate just all blacks: dead

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >stands completely still while missiles fly directly at him
                DSP level gameplay.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >Zombies
            >roll
            >instead of cutscene attack
            I expected more from you, red

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              alright you got me

              Actually filtered.

              yeah filtered by shit design

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                So far every webm has been someone else's gameplay. Clearly you haven't actually played the game and are just shitposting.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >Clearly you haven't actually played the game and are just shitposting.
                You just figured that out?

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                webm related and

                >moron gayden
                >worst bosses in all of gaming
                lol fuck off

                >enemies
                >cue braindead zombies, ogres, berserkers that turn the game into roll souls
                fuck off
                [...]
                Despair Embodied mogs any NG boss

                are my gameplay
                not my fault moron Gayden sucks ass

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Infinitely better gameplay than shit hand.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Actually filtered.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >who the fuck likes apples?
      >there's perfectly good oranges! Right fucking there!
      Blackbronies need their ass filled with white cock, they can't stop comparing everything to their surrogate parent from when they were 12, huddled in the garage, and their actual parents were nursing a bottle of booze

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >IGN was totally right.
      You had me till that part.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >posercore
      stand back

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      this image says "I played ten minutes of these games and stopped"

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      at least you didn't say dmc3. that game is a piece of shit, along with every other dmc game.

  13. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >its okay the game is bad and poorly designed because..... well it just is okay! its le fun because I said so!!!!

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >play the game well
      >game turns into cheap bullshit as punishment
      >play the game poorly
      >game becomes piss easy
      Dogshit design. Don't even say play on the broken difficulty at all times (hard mode)

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >Enemies attacking while asking you to counter hit with a button press or dodge using your two thumbs more often is now cheap bullshit
        Reduce your caloric intake fatso

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          The game is so broken and shit on level die that you have to kite enemies around and draw aggro. That should never happen in an action game.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            literally all you have to do is launch one enemy with a well-timed uppercut and jumping-heel-kick, then everyone gets launched
            90% of attacks in the game can be avoided by bobbing/weaving

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Actually the game is somewhat easier on level die once you've gotten good because you can predict certain things where as at lvl1/2/3 sometimes they may or may not do certain things, it's more random.
            You're just genuinely retarded. Hell watch a part of any long play by anyone half decent and your statement is blown the fuck out of the water.

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              This is lame as fuck. Also this guy savestates out the ass.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Half decent
                >save states
                At this point between the tard raging and the lack of reading comprehension I'm gonna assume you're brown

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                I know PCSX2 is a shit emulator but come on, those stutters are clearly savestates. I've played GH on a i5-3570k and it didn't stutter like that.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                moron he is not a half decent player if he's using save states. Fucking a Tyrone lay off xanax and start reading. Any fucking book at this point.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Nobody is saying the game is without faults. It's still enjoyable and satisfies a very specific niche despite its balancing and pacing issues. People who care about the fighting gameplay alone (positioning, timing counters, crowd control with and especially without roulette moves/God Hand) are more likely autistic enough to enjoy the game for what it offers because they will be rewarded for experimenting and eventually finding out skillful way to get past difficult situations. Even getting past the later levels using the God Hand or being lucky with item drops/roulette moves doesn't feel cheap given how utterly unfair they are, and the best part is that it's humanely possible to complete them without "cheesing" anyway.

        I'm ESL so I can't really explain it better. But even if it's repetitive it is immensely satisfying to correctly time a fully charged Fist of Justice against Elvis doing his rocket attack or using a juggle move just at the exact right moment to launch an enemy into the air, updoding to avoid an attack coming from your flank, then doing that up+triangle kick to expel everyone and get a clear view to prepare attacking others

  14. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Post webm of you playing right fucking now so we know it's just a matter of your body being so shit you can't handle pressing a few buttons and are getting mercilessly whooped

  15. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >You didn't enjoy this game because I didn't enjoy it! You're only pretending to like it!
    This kind of mentality is part of what lead devs to stop making great games for niche audiences and start making products that everyone can enjoy but nobody loves.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >You didn't enjoy this game because I didn't enjoy it!

      >I like the game because.. someone else likes it!
      God Hand has always been The Emperors New Clothes of Ganker. Everyone just nods along and pretends that it's an underrated masterpiece because it's "Ganker core" or some shit. The illusion falls apart the moment someone actually plays the game and notices that it's a pile of shit.

      >I like the game because.. someone else likes it!
      Oh, the duality of Ganker

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        just like a russia-ukraine thread

  16. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    You need less HRT and sugars
    You need more broccoli, protein and Haloperidol/Welbutrin.
    gay.

  17. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    quick what's the most underrated song
    for me, it's the second robot fight theme

  18. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    gay of the day

  19. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >Popular normalfag streamer says game is good
    >Ganker now praise the game like some hidden gem
    every time

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Normalfags have been blowing God Hand for the past decade.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >Normalfags
        Walk into any gamestop and then hit up the first bitch you see about God Hand

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          The very first result for God Hand on youtube is a 3.3 million view video sucking it off. There's plenty more too.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      lurk moar

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Got memed into buying digital God Hand on ps3 way back in 2011 or 2012 by Ganker, so it predates steamers by a lot. Can't believe they decided to sell it as a ps2 classic back then. Game is a 9/10 btw

  20. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    You're not Alexander!

  21. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Honestly the game isn't that bad, except for:
    >pic related, the three stooges, KMS
    >Great Sensei
    >8-1
    Legit made me drop videogames for a week

  22. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    You're not Alexander.

  23. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Sucks to suck

  24. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >Dios mano

    Dios mano.

  25. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >zoomer Ganker praises a fucking shitty generic empty open world game like Witcher 3 because it was their childhood game
    >also shits on games with actual good gameplay and combat
    Do you also support pedo biden and MAPs as well?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >god hand
      >good gameplay and combat
      lol

  26. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >ITT: samefag poorly baits retards
    I'm not hurt

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      His style is impetuous

  27. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    playing it on hard mode again rn
    also; for me it's Big Man Kablaam.

  28. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    itt: filtered zoomies screech and shriek about getting btfo by tank controls.
    maybe go back to watching let's plays on youtube and donating your parents' money to your favorite twitch streamers.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >dude instead of fighting enemies you fight controls! So based zoomies filtered fr fr no cap
      >bussin roulette wheel as substitute for lock-on baaaased

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        don't care, didn't ask, shut the fuck up and never post again.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        wat

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >be shit at video games
        >NOOO IT'S THE GAME'S FAULT IT SHOULD PLAY ITSELF AND SUCK MY DICK AND AND AND
        How about you watch a movie and calm down, anon? Can I interest you in a copy of TLOU?

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >be shit
          >re4 controls but slapped on the beat em up
          >not shit at all
          Die

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >be shit at the game
            >blame the game
            >don't try to get good at the game because you have zoomer attention span
            >go back to donating to streamers so they'll read your name on stream

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              >zoomer larps as an oldfag
              Yep, your average kamiyakami fan

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            RE4's controls are pretty good, whats the problem, bozo?

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              >RE4's controls are pretty good
              Yes, for re4 and not for beat em up

  29. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It's a great game but the control is outdated
    you're a fagget

  30. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Urban Reign is 10x times this game.

    We need to bring back Urban Reign.

  31. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It makes for an enjoyable LP but I dont think I would ever play it myself.

  32. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I used to pretend it was good, because it was edgy and funny. I hate the movement and combat.

  33. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    But what about Joe..

  34. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >shitty controls
    >not actually hard once you put together good combos
    >dumb jokes are reddit tier
    >stupid story
    >awful visuals especially for it's time reeks of a Simple 2000 series tier budget game
    >dumbest memes
    >Ganker circlejerks it's daily as further evidence of it's terminal bad taste in all things
    >bad music

    the IGN score was correct.

  35. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    NG and DMC are games, Memehand isn't

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Don't kid yourself; DMC is shit as well.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >NG is a game, DMReddit and Reddithand aren't
      ftfy

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >ng is a game
        >cutscene attacks
        ininjafags dot jp are delusional

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Yeah, you're right; glorified fighting game practice rooms (i.e. DMC series) are much better.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >look at me make no progress by just running around
        you can do the same thing in ng

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >NG is a game, DMReddit and Reddithand aren't
      ftfy

      >chudhand is a game
      >plays like shit
      defend this

      >Memehand
      >Reddithand
      >chudhand

  36. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    memehandtrannies mad

  37. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >chudhand is a game
    >plays like shit
    defend this

  38. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >God Hand thread
    >Not a single webm posted
    Have ANY of you played the game? You're not just forming an opinion on something you know nothing about, right?
    I for one have beaten it quite a few times since I first played it back in 2010-ish. I'm not a master or anything, but I feel like I've played it enough to form an opinion.
    The game has a bunch of strange design choices that filter people, the most obvious one being the tank controls. I hated them too, until I learned proper positioning and started paying attention to the minimap. It's there for a reason.
    The second problem is the soft lock-on. This one is just a straight-up flaw, and is something you just have to live with.

    The adaptive difficulty is a double-edged sword. It's designed in quite an intricate way: when you reach a higher level, EVERYTHING gets harder. Enemies hit harder, they move faster, they will attack you in groups, they get more moves, and in some instances there will be more of them. It ensures that you will never have an easy time with the game unless you are very, very good. At the end of each stage the game tallies up how many enemies you've killed on each difficulty, and rewards you for killing enemies on higher levels. Whether or not this is a flaw depends on your mindset. If you welcome a challenge and aren't afraid to lose, you'll love it. If you want to steamroll the game and never lose, you'll hate it. If you're of the latter type, the Easy difficulty and "Grovel" move are right there. Use them.
    For 3D beat-em-ups there is nothing that compares to God Hand. The level of complexity, while not quite on DMC's level, is remarkable, especially considering the shitty dev cycle and shoestring budget. When mastered, it is insanely fun to play. People saying otherwise have never landed a counter-hit launcher move or fought Tiger Joe without using GH or Roulette, nor have they perfectly dodged Azel's punch combos and punished him with leg sweeps.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I never saw how dmc was deep. it has the systems in place, but the enemy variety doesn't really force you to use them to their fullest. it's mostly autists who are obsessed with racking up sick combos, bro! and having the game give them a high grade, just like back in school. frankly I'm tired of action games that do that. gh is also one of the few games where it gets harder the better you are, which is weirdly rare. games usually love to reward you for doing well, which never made sense to me.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Well, to specify, the player's toolset is deep in DMC. Dante's kit in 4 and 5 is insane, and there's no other video game character that comes close to having as many options at hand as he does at any given time.
        But therein lies the problem. If you give your player this much stuff to play with, you need to make sure the enemies rise to the occasion. Which, sadly, they never quite do. It's less of a problem in the first two games (1 and 3) but in 4 you'll notice that most enemies are quite sluggish and simple compared ro Dante, and in 5 it just becomes egregious.
        I guess the point I'm trying to make is that GH's complexity is very well-rounded: your moveset is limited to punches and kicks, and is never too complicated. But then the enemies follow the same rule: they're about as complex as Gene. It makes you feel like you're fighting on equal footing, a feeling that is enhanced by the fact that the game rises to meet your skill level.
        Meanwhile in DMC the enemies never get anything to combat the player's insane level of maneuvrability and attack speed. On higher difficulties they get some new moves, but most of the difficulty comes from their busted attack power and defense. The aggression leaves a lot to be desired even on DMD. The term "punching bag" gets thrown around a lot, and while it is definitely hyperbole, there's quite a bit of truth in it when you compare with the hyper-aggression of GH and NG enemies. The countless combo webms from The Void certainly don't help that image.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Have ANY of you played the game?
      The people praising it haven't.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Try reading more than the first three lines. Then, if you feel you're ready, counter any of the statements made thefeafter.
        Apply yourself, anon.

  39. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >shitting on a game that sold 10 copies and never got a remaster and has a niche cult fanbase

    wow, big tough guy. what a hot take.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Sseth made a video on it, so a bunch of his zoomie fans tried it, got filtered, and are now bitching about it on Ganker.

  40. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I know most of this thread is bait, but I know some of you unironically post shit like this. Why the tribalism for a mostly dead genre? Never understood why people are always debating which series is better. You can play all of them. Nothing is stopping you.

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