it shouldn't have taken this long

it shouldn't have taken this long

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  1. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    it's really not that hard to just get a basic win. You can pretty much just head straight down since the boss is a chump with no orbs (unless they buffed him since I last played)

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Congrats on wasting 5 hours to get the worst ending for absolutely nothing, when you could've explored side areas to unlock spells instead.

      And how are you supposed to know that when playing blind? It's sad that this game attracts the worst kind of tryhards.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        >he thinks you can play this game blind
        This gay never walked out of the main areas and it shows.

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          someone must have, or there would be no guides.
          I remember those threads on Ganker when someone figured out machine gun wands, shit was wack

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            >someone must have, or there would be no guides.
            you should look up "datamining" and do a little bit of learning.
            The days of finding things out naturally are over

            • 1 week ago
              Anonymous

              There are secrets in Noita that are baked into the code of the game and can't be datamined.

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          I did and I have

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          you can beat it blind, if by beating it you mean just getting to the end screen.

          Getting the alternate endings, parallel worlds and shit like that is a level of autism I cannot fathom.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        Sounds like an issue related to skill

  2. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Congrats on wasting 5 hours to get the worst ending for absolutely nothing, when you could've explored side areas to unlock spells instead.

  3. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >181 attempts
    >1 (one) win

  4. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Even with the mods that make the game actually good (enemies drop health, tinker anywhere, health regen,) I still couldn't beat it. Just not my kind of game but I understand why people like stuff like this. Not a fan of action roguelikes.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      >Even with the mods that make the game actually good
      subtle bait is subtle

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        >walk 5 feet
        >get set on fire
        >get poisoned
        >random enemy hits me with giant explosive 100 miles off screen and lose half of my healthbar
        >never regen
        >repeat 9000 times until the world gen rng isnt shit and I actually get a good wand
        >win
        I'm not young anymore and I don't have time to waste on pointless bullshit like this, sorry.

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          It's time for your nap, grandpa

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          >get set on fire
          water flask
          >get poisoned
          Water
          Flask
          >random enemy hits me with giant explosive 100 miles off screen and lose half of my healthbar
          if you're careful, this is excitingly rare, but point taken
          >repeat 9000 times until the world gen rng isnt shit and I actually get a good wand
          if you explore a bit, the odds of not getting a single good wand are practically zero

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          It's just a fun game when you finally learn what perks to go for. The treasure huntan, exploring, challenging but surmountable difficulty and the wand tinkering (if you enjoy that) all makes for a superb combination.
          I'm a fricking boomer but Noita is the greatest Dark Souls of Terraria, and I hated the game at first.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      >Even with the mods that make the game actually good
      Translated from moron to human: evcven with the mods that make the game moron proof (because I'm fricking stupid and can't handle hard games)

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Why don't you drop that coping shit mods and just backup your save like an actual human?

  5. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    gz, but how did it take you 5 hours?

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      got a really good wand that could dig through anything and my autism won

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        nice

  6. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    congratulations, you can now win every single run

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      you underestimate just how bad i am

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      I die on the military base maze area so none of this helps me

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        hiisi base is kind of a gear check. if you're in snowy depths without a proper setup to get through the hiisi base you might as well end the run or at least check out the fungal caves.
        if you can get through the hiisi base alive you're good to got for the basic ending.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        Hiisi base? Just blow up the propane tanks from a distance

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          Reminder they literally do home to you (or whoever damages them iirc).

  7. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Depends on the run. If it's just a basic run you can do it quite quickly, but if you're trying to do anything more than that it can take days.

  8. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >he didnt get the Supernova Ending
    LMAO
    Try creating the Sun in heaven and bringing to the Dark Sun created in hell for the ending.

    You should be able to complete it in 6 hours if you know what youre doing.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Frick you. The Supernova is the most incredibly underwhelming event in the game. I expected a sick explosion effect on par with the cool visuals from the Sun/Dark Sun at max level but it blows up for like a full second and then its over. Also it does some random shit to the worldgen (melts sand? changes stone? frick if I know because it's not on the wiki) and has literally ZERO impact on you at that point. And the worst part? Restoring the world on the best ending still keeps the effects of a Supernova active. FRICK THIS MEME QUEST.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        I literally just ended my run like 15 or so hours into this stupid quest. It's so fricking tedious and boring. I love the frick out of a lot about Noita, and I even like the gist behind the quest but in practice it's just kinda shit.

  9. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >54h playtime
    >1 win
    >with save scumming
    i know all the wand theory, i'm just really bad at dodging shit.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      What mod do you use for save scumming? I can't seem to find one.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        NTA but back in the day I used a cmd exe called Noita save tool. There might be more sophisticated tools these days though and I don't know if it even works anymore.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        I just manually copy the save00 folder or whatever.

  10. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >181 deaths
    Pretty decent result, tbh.
    I was well above 220 deaths and 150h played before my first win, I think.

  11. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Not the worst I've seen. Decent job OP

  12. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >the victory achievment is shiny again

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      It never wasn't.

  13. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    you get used to it

  14. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >Only just now saw that they released an Epilogue 2
    I'll be honest I didn't even play Epilogue 1. I played the beat through early access and final release and did pretty much everything you could do. Epilogue just felt like utter content bloat to me and ironically killed my motivation to keep playing the game. Just too much shit and they sextupled down on the obtuse wiki secrets.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      obtuse stuff i'll never find doesn't bother me if they're adding nifty spells to a game already packed to the brim with nifty shit

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      If you read the wiki you need to have a nice day.

  15. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    You completed the tutorial anon. You are about 2% done with the actual game.

  16. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >Orbs collected 2
    You didn't beat the game.

  17. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >180 deaths to just get 1 win
    yup that sounds about normal

  18. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >NOOOO you can't use the start with tinker mod, that's cheating!!!!
    >Restarting 20 times until you find a seed with it in the first two mountains or its first reroll? Yeah that's fine good job.

    https://www.noitool.com/
    I will have my tinker anywhere.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      you don't need to do that though
      there's lots of ways to get out of the mountain without it being disabled so you can reuse it

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        or

        i could just take tinker

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          yes, you could just cheat. No one is stopping you. But they are laughing at you.

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            I'm not cheating, i'm getting it in the first mountain

            If you're going to remove RNG out of the equation why even play a roguelite?
            >uhhh I don't want to reroll for Tinker everytime, lemme use a mod to get it at the start
            >uhhh I don't want to explore the mines everytime, lemme use a mod to get gold and a health up at the start
            >uhhh I don't want to find a good wand everytime, lemme use a mod to get one at the start
            >uhhh I don't want to find good spells everytime, lemme use a mod to get a bunch at the start

            I'm not taking RNG out of the equation, i'm rerolling the same RNG you are until I get what I want

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      If you're going to remove RNG out of the equation why even play a roguelite?
      >uhhh I don't want to reroll for Tinker everytime, lemme use a mod to get it at the start
      >uhhh I don't want to explore the mines everytime, lemme use a mod to get gold and a health up at the start
      >uhhh I don't want to find a good wand everytime, lemme use a mod to get one at the start
      >uhhh I don't want to find good spells everytime, lemme use a mod to get a bunch at the start

  19. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    The journey to THE GODS ARE AFRIAD was fun. But the RNG for 100% monsters just isn't palatable. Great game, tons of replayability. I hope the devs never actually lose interest in this project or at least make something grander using the same concepts and inspirations.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      I'm basically never getting 100% because theres no way in frick i'm slowly transporting some little shit npc all the way into the avarice diamond without him dying

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        >he doesn't know
        If you managed to wiki your way to this knowledge then I'm absolutely sure you can find out the OTHER part.

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          I tend to look up requirements but not the methods, and all I can assume is an extremely long an arduous walk or some kind of max moron spell divide increase speed homebringer bolt where you have to luck into shooting his exact pixel.

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            You can carry friends safely in the little RC car from the racetrack

            • 1 week ago
              Anonymous

              That does not sound any more pleasant than some kind of max moron homebringer bolt wand

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        I did that shit with polymorph before they patched it but then they just introduced another version of it too so frick that

  20. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Noita's one of those games I'm glad I haven't beaten yet. Feels great always having it there, ready & waiting, whenever I get that itch to mess with magical forces far above my pay grade.

  21. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I probably have a lot more deaths and never beat the game. The urge to do something flashy but stupid is always too strong and inevitably gets me killed.

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