>A Champagne Socialist and an adoptive father engage in the world's most intense custody battle ever known
ITT: Describe a game poorly and other people have to guess which one you're talking about
>A Champagne Socialist and an adoptive father engage in the world's most intense custody battle ever known
Bioshock infinite?
If its weebshit, I automatically give up.
>that bald frick made a deal with Satan to steal your cool green rock, go and kick his and Satan's ass and get your cool green rock back while dying constantly
Shadow the Hedgehog
Champagne Socialist is throwing me.
All I can think of is Silent Hill
The Last of Us?
Marlene was definitely not champagne at that point, filtered toilet water socialist.
>A failed surgeon with daddy issues begins to force-feed sick people fermented weeds
Literally playing pathologic 2 now
>An old man tricks you into fixing the world only to let another old man frick it up on his own terms.
Persona 2 Innocent Sin?
Dark Souls
Nope, it's a SNES game
Terranigma? Or any of the trilogy of heaven and earth.
Mega Man?
>The battle of heaven and hell is actually an intergalactic war almost ends in a nuclear holocaust until the heroes get a statue to help them disarm a nuclear payload.
One of the might and magic or heroes games
>ham ond i have crack additcion i am die
forza 4
No
Hint: Within the game community there is an injoke about it being addictive as crack. No its not a gacha shit with predatory mechanics. The game just has an amazing gameplay loop.
Meso-American God of water is let loose by a guy with a flying ship.
spelunky, make it harder
WRONG!
sonic adventure
Sonic Adventure
>your boss, Satan, lives on Mars. You must kill him.
Motherload
That's the one.
>Your friend has BPD. Enjoy your new life as a cyclops, don't have a nice day on the way out!
dead $ells
Wrong.
MGS3
fat frick steals art
furry shit
clouds
Wario: Master of Disguise
Fuga
Pilotwings 64
>breasts and ass saves the world from God while being supported by God to fight God
Bayonetta?
probably
you aren't the chosen one but you can watch him save the world from a safe distance
Oblivion
>Woman ends the world because she was bored
"one must imagine Sisyphus happy"
Ultrakill
>you're just doing your yearly job to help out your village and along the way you saved the world making you unemployed
Monster Hunter
FFX
a coomer rents a book from the library that contains dragon tiddy and never returns it
>Local homeless man ruins everything for invading plant life
Everything's just fricked dude, men don't get laid anymore or if they do they're fricking other men. When men hear they have a chance to finally frick a girl again they all kill each-other for a chance to get at her.
Also there's mutants.
Lisa
Battle tanks?
It was Lisa,
Correct.
>be an archaeologist
>prevent the end of the world by killing an ancient sleeping alien goddess
Tomb Raider reboot
>Juvie criminal has relations with high school girls and his teacher.
Purse owner 5
No
Ayy Lmuana
Correct
A fat kid travels through space and time just to make your life miserable and ends up being the only one unhappy.
Erfbound
Push the button fast or you die.
Aliens want humanity dead so goddamn bad they make a time machine just to carpet bomb the world with even more ants
Shit, EDF 5? I think one of them had a story like that.
I was thinking of edf 6 but yeah pretty close, edf 5 is more like aliens have had enough of pollution and are willing to make humanity touch grass so hard they go extinct
You punch the pope for his ball
Assassin's Creed 2
A man of low moral fiber uses knowledge of where and when the sprouting of a certain type of tree will occur to his own gain.
His son and his son's depressed wacky uncle attempt to stop his plans and force him to pay child support.
DmC V
The castle was a rape allegory
Don't feel too guilty for killing your brother, he deserved it
You still get raped by cats daily though
Persona 5?
Made me laugh, but incorrect
Something something funny pikachu prosciutto game
Gaiden when?
Correct
You meet up with your coworkers after a ~15-20 years vacation. In the end you kill your old boss.
Political corruption causes the death of a general's only son in a terrorist bombing, said general defects with a large chunk of the army following him out of sheer respect.
Now you have to kill him.
Metal Slug
I am very bad at these threads.
Green man comes back from his vacation to the sun to see that his robot friends have shit the bed.
A schizoid veteran kills as many Russians as he can and everyone dies in the sequel anyways.
hotline miami, you didn't need to mention the sequel
My dumbass keeps making these too easy.
Let's try this one
Your grandfather dies which gives you the chance to go spelunking in a cave to find shiny rocks for a hot chick who thinks they're delicious.
Stardew Valley
REEEEEEEEEEEEE
Try this one smartass.
You clean up trash while playing as a black chick who just will not shut the frick up. Also it's cold as BALLS.
Description of the character made me think of Forspoken and from what little I know, it started in winter before she gets isekai'd, but that's probably wrong
It was subnautica below zero
A young man out in the country who is so clueless on race relations that he casually drops a slur ends up becoming the ultimate social justice warrior and saving the kingdom and the world
MGQ?
No
Sell corn get rich.
You accidentally stole a unique weapon and whine like a b***h for the entire game despite saving probably a few hundred thousand lives with it.
Secret of Mana
You kill a man who tried to change the world despite agreeing with everything he said
MGR revengeance?
Correct
Cop shoots at other cars with his car then gets kicked in the shin by a skateboarder and runs out of time before catching the perp.
MGS?
your plane crashes so you catch a bathysphere instead
Bioshock
you skip dinner and end up toppling the local government
Fart Cry
Farcry 4
ye
>you're an idiotic prince with anger issues who grew up by a overprotective parents since his twin brother disappeared
a Raytheon war crime product gains sapience and says "maybe wars bad. mm'kay"
In the future, people fight over a concrete bridge
pubg
Fallout NV
Yep
Fallout 4
>Corporate slave takes unplanned vacation, goes swimming.
Subnautica
You work at a Blockbuster and hate your boss, only to find out at the end of the game that your boss is responsible for the death of your mother.
>Save the world by yelling at your elders
FUS RO DAH!
a man tries and fails to give himself an unbelievably pretentious name
Disco Elysium?
NPC and his fox goes through a tournament arc and fights a brat and a pirate, a knight and a thief, a ghost and a book character, a schizo and a vampire, a b***h and a dog, an incel and a chinaman, a prince and his knight and a blackpilled guy and buddha.
Local Spymaster ruins his country because he hates the poor so fricking much
Witcher 2?
No
Dishonored?
Correct
Correct
dishonored
A suicidally depressed black guy sells his body and soul to become an immortal assassin/terrorist in order to make enough to achieve the American dream. However, when he gets there he becomes bored and realizes there is nothing left to live for. He tries to kill himself numerous times but fail as it is impossible for him to kill himself. He finally goes insane and rushes to the hq where he finds the one thing in the world that can finally kill him and dies.
Crysis? Prototype?
Nope, but it is a first person shooter
Deathloop? Haven't played it but seems about right.
Nope, it's Cruelty Squad
Did anyone get the OP one
You kill countless hook noses while constantly proclaiming you aren't evil
People are finally taking war seriously, the mayor is a fricking prick, and the flowers are KILLING PEOPLE!
>mayor is a fricking prick
Advance Wars Days of Ruin
lmao you got it.
I wanna bone this chick.
Break your dad out of jail and frick some demons
>average weekend at your distant relatives’ house
>yore a nobody with nothing stats and you have to run and escape from this game.
Gz
THE BEST GAME TO HAVE EVER BEEN MADE. ITS OVER AND DONE.
1. Some idiots trying to blow up one of the two generic looking crates with nothing over and over again. And every time a bunch of cops spend their entire salary on weapons to stop them.
2. Beat the shit out of minors and make out with underage boys and girls.
>stoned emperor breaks into your cell and wants you to find his bastard son to stop demons from invading everywhere
Morrowind 2
Actually its skyrim 4 but correct
youre a garbage collector that one day decides to saturation bombard the empire's capital.
A bloody and bitter turf war that has lasted a century and is being manipulated by a mysterious third party that you don’t give a shit about
Skyrim
No
You have (gay) sex with robo susanoo, wander across deserts of different colors just to sit on a chair and ring a bell.
Your boss and your friends all really wanna get laid, but you just kinda wanna hang out. You're also cool as hell.
Microsoft and Google go to war while being fricked with by a vampire and a man who was cucked by himself.
You break prison and travel across the world to realize your son is a prick
Fallout 4?
young man stops sleeping and destroys statues
OOT
not quite, sorry
LttP
it's not a Zelda game
Earthbound
still incorrect (for what i'm thinking of), sorry chief
Shadow of the colosseum?
Alundra?
bzzzt
it's BASTION
FRICKING BASTION
"kid wakes up" YOU FFFFFFRICK
genocidal alien lands on earth and kills off the dinosaurs and is destined to kill off humanity. Time traveler realizes this and goes back and forth in time and
gets killed by the alien,
kills the alien but fails to kill the genocidal lizards replacing humanity with lizard people,
gets killed by the alien but his friends kill the alien for him
pranks the alien by making it think the alien killed him and then he kills the alien
.etc
>Hot chick being stalked
Everyone is getting super mega covid and there isn't enough medicine. All the conspiracies are real.
Oh my god JC
A [s]yeah[/s]!
>[s]
I brainfarted, how embarrassing
You can actually highlight the text and then to ctrl+s to spoiler.
That's one of those things I know but for some reason conveniently forget whenever I make a post with a spoiler tag.
Pathologic
alien blood turns you into a furry
Zelda Twilight Princess
The crazy space government unleashes an ancient evil while trying to create bioweapons out of the ancient evils cells twice and now you have to clean up their messes in order to colonize the planet properly
Endless Space 2
Not quite
Driving over to your gfs place to make up after an argument
Maybe this was too vague
Dead Space 2023
>Bald c**t ruins everything: the prequel
the villain was actually imprisoned by the real villain all along, who has been who you've been fighting the whole time.
kid icarus uprising?
nope
Stereotypical millennial is such an unbearable narcissist that he has a mental breakdown at the thought of empathizing with others causing his ego death to manifest as a meteor crashing to earth
Yiik
yes
Yiik?
>brain damaged man resolves zoning dispute over a wall
FNV
What does God need with a racecar?
Man doesn't want to deal with lines at the bank, ends the entire world instead
postal 2?
Dinosaurs were wiped out because they lost the power of friendship.
>take cover to avoid damage and shoot your way through various enemies until you reach the cutscene at the end
Mass effect
Bioshock 2?
>you get dragged out of the house by your dad
>get lost in the wilderness and seperated from your dad by force
>your little sister eventually catches up and accompanies you
>eventually run into old family friends having dinner
>you are now tasked with finding out why theres production problems in the area
There are puzzles and gum stuck to things everywhere
are the puzzles: square block goes in sqaure hole ?
No
Hint: Gnomes
Scribblenauts?
You hate everyone and everyone hates you for what you did. The guy who made you do what you did also hates you for doing what he told you to do.
Does this involve making waves?
The first part pf the game has you near water.
Tales of the Abyss?
No but surprisingly the main characters share some similar colors in their respective designs.
Also no
Dark souls 2?
>mastermind of a cult
>decide to use a this really cool gundam to turn into a god
>bitchass friend chickens out saying he is going to snitch on us
>the boys roll up on him and kills him
>mfer didn't have to snitch. The god we were worshiping gave us the worst punishment in the world
>she fricking turned us into black people
>frick where are the tools to operate the giant robot so I can be a god?
>realize the b***hass must have hid them somewhere before he got busted
>I don't even like these buttholes but I especially don't like him
>just stay in my cave for centuries spreading super aids to the population below
>bitchass finally shows up reborn as a shitskin, big surprise
>he says that our god told him to kill me and destroy the gundam
>pah, b***hass prob doesn't even have the tools
>how does he expect to kill me? what a moron
>oh shit he actually did it
Morrowind from the perspective of Vivek? not sure about the aids and gundam though
Casablanca but everyone is dead
The biggest moron ever forgets how to breath
>two immortal gods frick up the entirety of america and japan all because they can't finish a chess game
killer7
Yep
Command multicolored ants so you don’t get laid off
Pikmin 2
I made it too easy
>log into some guy's PC
>instead of being mad he forces you to be his antivirus software
System shock 2
You star out fighting ants in a basement, at the end of the game you kill god
These are both EDF 5, aren't they? Base 228 isn't exactly a basement, but there are ants.
First dude here, yep.
It's underground, so it fits the "keep it vague" theme
Gamble with Campbell*
Young man decides to make a pact with the devil and kill ancient creatures to revive his dead gf instead of downloading tinder
The Darkness
Shadow of the Colossus
Bingo
Painkiller
You're put in charge of an army and you've never heard of an airport before.
advance wars
>Jannie actually gets paid to deal with morons and degenerates for once
I miss winamp
WHERE IS MY GOD DAM STEAK WAGIE
Persona 4
specifically Chie and Yosuke's relationship
no anon where is my god dam hot dog wagie.
>Reddit, Tumblr, Twitter, Ganker and 9gag teams up to save the world
GTA V
No
No, it is fantasy though
runescape
>slap your employees and kill your landlord
Climbing the corporate ladder becomes a lot easier when you put a fedora on. Most of your money is made by extortion.
Your dad got drunk and destroyed the entire galaxy so now you have to fix it
Katamari Damacy
yep
You can be the shittiest most irredeemable person ever, but finding a bug has everyone forgive you.
disco elysium
Its a serial killer simulator thats surprisingly realistic. Somehow this shit wasn't rated PEGI 18/M
Harvester
No
Hatred
No but Hatred and the game I mentioned are both really goofy in their own ways. For Hatred its the cheesy one-liners, for the game I described its the cheesy narrator, setting and things you play as.
You were killing the real humans' souls all along.
Das Izzy
>covid hits the country hard
>there's a shipments of cure components! yay!
>for some reason said creatures are stored at local school for wandering mass murder super stars
>said school is attacked and everyone is slaughtered, except you and a trio of teachers
>however, after the following events of finding the cure components, making the cure and discovering covid was man made all along, the surviving teachers are executed for treason
>It's kinda sad the woman teacher was executed, you were just starting to become friends
>the world ended except for you, your mum, and a whole bunch of radio presenters
>it's roadtrip time homie
Ant infestation on your first day of work means that you have to kill God.
That movie was surprisingly violent, it just doesn't show actual red blood and/or gore. When they marched on the Termite mounds, it just turned into a slaughter...AND the termites sprayed acid?? goo on you or whatever, too.
>A journey across the world collecting body parts from "drug" dealers where you cripple your best friend at the end
A small boy goes on an dangerous adventure because he's hypnotically compelled to transform into a giant ballsack
Dead ex-Mafioso hitman gets resurrected and is aided by his former lover's child to bring down the seedy crime family he once belonged to.
A Hollywood director jerks off over how good of a deranged violent serial killer you are.
manhunt
Correct.
Manhunt?
>getting anxiety attacks after witnessing an old man’s fetish collection
You travel far away to get a miracle remede but end up with space aids.
You get thrown in jail, solve problems for people in exchange for some cool new clothes and help everyone break out by killing a hybernating wienerroach/praying mantis hybrid.
>In theory you can be whatever you want, in reality you're just a gambler.
Star crossed lovers are ambushed in the jungle by an ancient evil whilst discovering that they already fricked.
> A cop has to stop a monster from having a baby
Guy stranded in empty world breaks his fingers upon first existing.
Psycho grey ayy imao declares covert war on humanity.
>help a friend evade drug dealers
>he betrays you and steals your most precious possession
Son holds a grudge for a very very long time.