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ITT: It is 2023 and Starfield has been out for 1 week.
It's All Fucked Shirt $22.14 |
DMT Has Friends For Me Shirt $21.68 |
It's All Fucked Shirt $22.14 |
What went wrong?
"Why do all of the women look like men?"
Starfield is trash
>character creator makes you select body type A/B
>The game asks you your preferred pronouns
>you play as a virgin
>the first bosses are 100% aryans who wear variants of the same golden armor, they want to kill you on sight
>every time they kill you they say "such an inferior being, will do good soap"
>The final boss is a troony who is revealed to be the actual hero who is trying to protect the universe from the actual villain which is a conservative white man who insist on calling you with female or male pronouns despite no one else doing this.
>The helpful npcs are all black astronauts who have white scientist by their side
>One of the gestures in the game is a strange mix between moonwalk and twerking
>All of the planets have female bosses, you often would beat an alien and then a stronger female boss will appear.
>There's a mention of gamergate (it's very subtle)
>One of the NPCs references Rosa Parks
>When you get the option to change your appearance (yes even gender) an NPC will tell you "I'm glad you are proud of who you really are"
>there's a BLM mural inside a cave that is all way to end of the universe, the description says "a painting dedícated to those brave space explores looking for freedom outside of the Starfield" once you find this you can get an item called "moon boots of Mr. King" (reference to Rodney King, victim of Police brutality)
>The merchant NPCs often mention of how there's always "evil beings" stealing the lighting of more deserving people (probably a reference to how Black folk believe that Edison stole a Black folk invention when he made the lightbulb despite this not being true)
>There's a Chadwick Bozeman reference, in a holographic sign who tells the story of a pioneer that was "as fierce as a panther"
There's lots of other shit Bethesda has crammed in there just to tell us that they are pro white genocide and hate their audience
I want the game to be exactly like this just to watch scream.
Did Todd Howard do that mission control voice over? It didn't sound like a professional effort.
>All of the planets have female bosses, you often would beat an alien and then a stronger female boss will appear.
I will now buy your game
>you play as a virgin
You can choose how to lose virginity that is pretty based
GOTY
>The helpful NPCs are all black astronauts who have white scientist by their side
Based.
CBBE for starfield just released
This will turn every starfield thread into "Post your astronauts" filled with malformed skinny twig women with paperthin wasts and gigantic booba and assa.
>Another spaceship is being raided and needs your help. I'll mark it on your space chart
Yep, it's Fallout 4 in space, glad I pirated and uninstalled right away
>what I expected
>ass effect
surely your expectations are low
Mass Effect is actually good, unlike Fallout or anything Bethesda has ever made.
If you truly expect this game to be mass effect + new vegas i hope you get profoundly disappointed
This game is literally Fallout 4 in space
The guns feel weak and i'm just grinding the same fodder braindead enemies and looting their trash for better gear
When will it get good?
>popular thing bad!
I hate this contrarian shithole.
frick off to reddit
Imagine paying for this shit, why do people keep believing Todd’s lies?
Why did this game sell 200 million copies in the first week? Why are normies like this?
WOW MAKING FUN OF GAME DEVELOPERS THAT'S UNIQUE
I HATE WOMEN, DO I FIT IN YET?
where the nude mods at?
You gais, this gameplay is fire
Oh, look. Here is a sign post that says Wabbajack Starport City is that direction. Let's walk there.
*loading*
We are here at the city of five buildings, but it's surrounded by a wall. Click the gate to enter.
*loading*
Here we are inside the city walls. Walking down the street. Here is a science lab. Let's click to open the door.
*loading*
Walking around inside the lab. Oh, what's this? A trap door in the floor. Click to enter.
*loading*
We are in the basement now. Let's walk around. Hey, there is a cave entrance in the wall. Walk into it.
*loading*
See spiders. Turn 360 and leave.
*loading*
Climb the ladder? No. Click the ladder to climb up from basement.
*loading*
Walking in the hallway now. Open the door? No. Click the door to exit the science lab.
*loading*
Click the gate to exit the Starport City.
*loading*
Oh, look, mountains in the distance. It's actually just a hill with clouds on top for some reason. But let's walk there.
*loading*
We are at the base of the mountain hill. There is a path that looks like it leads to the upper mountain hill. Let's follow it.
*loading*
We have been walking the path for about a minute now. Here is a sign post that points up and says "mountain top". Let's follow the path some more.
*loading*
We are at the mountain top now. Nothing here but a barrel of two freeze-dried hydroponic organic non-gmo cabbages.
*rage*
*clicks settings*
*clicks exit to main menu*
*are you sure?*
*clicks yes*
*loading*
*main menu*
*click any button to continue*
*clicks button*
*clicks settings*
*clicks exit game*
*are you sure?*
*clicks yes*
*loading*
*crash to desktop*
*uninstall.exe*
*deletes system32*
Its funny, because its true.
You couldve added "a city with a population of 5", and then we got every Bethesda game.
just like my skyrim
That's a good thing moron, they couldn't fit as much stuff in the cities and in the buildings if they weren't behind loading screens
ny fricking sides
Guys why is my game crashing every 20 minutes? Is there a fix? Do i need to avoid going to that one city so my save file doesnt get corrupted?
Everyone panicked for nothing. The game is actually really fricking good.*
(*with 150GB of mods installed on top of it)
>with 150GB of mods installed on top of it)
so in 2027 at best
Starfield isn't very good, but mods will fix it. After all, Skyrim wasn't very good but a modpack that came out eleven years after Skyrim was released, which is called Elysium Remastered, that applies over 2200 mods, makes Skyrim okay. Give it another eleven years and Starfield will be for real, for real.
its going to be 'Ganker - Starfield' i hope you're ready
I still doubt it can beat Elden Ring 4 month long discussions, it's a Bethesda game so it either goes really bad and people laugh at it for a couple of weeks like they did with 76 and cyberpunk or it goes big for 1-2 months and naturally becomes Ganker culture, something even someone on its first day here would understand.
SHAZAM SAMA PLEASE DO NOT FORSAKE US
Man the black adam movie was a lot shittier than I expected
all the performance issues people report are due to poors holding on to their 1060s. I've only had 1 crash after 200 hours of playtime and that was probably just because I messed something up installing Better Areolas v1.5.
guys should I buy starfields horse robot dlc?
I already spent $80 on the modder pass and my mom's angry so I don't think I should buy more
It's exactly as great as I ever hoped!
>been out for 7 days
>I am forgotten
Starfielf you fat cat you are so fat
You’re going into orbit, you stupid mutt
i ate those food
Now that the dust has settled, what went wrong?
>character romance ammounts to
>get item
>give item to proceduraly generated npc
>fade to black sex scene
I turn over and go back to sleep.
I used to play Skyrim, but then I took a laser to the knee! HEHEHE
I think what surprised me the most was when upon landing, I ended up in a Draugr ruin, and the character pulled a sword, really subverted my expectation!
i cant believe we have body slide support this fast. i gave my female companion amazing breasts and a zip down body suit.
>all space ships are just NPCs with ships as heads and bodies scaled down to .01%
Told you about Todd and his sweet little lies, but you didn't listen.
And here we are, with no one to blame but yourself.
why does this game take so long to load.
it wouldnt be so bad if it didnt crash every ten minutes.
There is much more Black folk in space that I'd like them to be, can someone fix it with mods?
>tranime
Where's the mod to have a nice day?
Near the mod where you go back, mutt
weebs are a scourge frick off.
have a nice day, twitter tourist
How many times do we have to tell you people Nayuta isn't a troony, devils don't have gender to begin with
>arrive on planet #482
>enjoy the animated loading screen as I land
>explore the limited area on my space horse
>scan 1/2 space plants
>find a wooden space hatch on the ground
>enter space cave
>find a notebook
>"It's been 2 weeks since we were attacked. oh god, I can hear them coming again, noooooooo-"
>a wooden door bursts open and space necromancers attack me with their summoned space skeletons
>dispose of them and collect their rare space bones
>scan plant 2/2 in the space cave
>space achievement unlocked: scan 500 space plants
>leave space cave and enter ship via loading screen space ladder
>enjoy another loading screen as I take off and travel towards planet #483
Sounds comfy
comfy is code for "game so braindead, all that people do is share screenshots online"
>Anon is so dopamine fried that he can't enjoy simple pleasures anymore
Many such cases!
Walking around a desert with the space radio going sounds like a great time to me.
As I said, braindead experience for braindead people.
You can't even imagine enjoying something like that, can you?
I guess you must've hated New Vegas too.
Do you normally just play hyperactive shooters for ADHD zoomers?
>You can't even imagine enjoying something like that, can you?
Why would I need to imagine it when I have played tons of video games that are just about that and got bored out of my mind? If you actually get enjoyment out of pressing W for hours on end, then you should ask yourself why you don't just go on long walks in nature instead. It's good for your heart and you actually sense and experience a thousand more things than in a video game. I play video games because I want to do things that are not possible by just leaving the door. Marching through a desolated waste is so low in my priority list, I don't even consider doing it in a video game, I just skip past the entire game.
>Do you normally just play hyperactive shooters for ADHD zoomers?
No, I just avoid games with knee-deep mechanics, which are easily spotted by nobody discussing mechanics and communities sharing nothing but scenery screenshots, like NMS or Skyrim.
Exactly, you're too hyperfocused on actively doing things and getting dopamine hits that you can't enjoy an environment for what it is. Your brain is fried to the point that graphics are meaningless and just get in the way of pushing buttons and hearing bells.
Even in real life, you probably think photography is a stupid hobby for simple minded idiots, cause yet again, you can't imagine the thought processes and fulfillment that go into such simple experiences. You say go outside and enjoy nature, but preface it with activity, walking past it and getting exercise in. Doing things is more important than experiencing things.
You should try sitting outside for two hours without doing a damn thing. It'd be good for your soul to unwind.
>all these words to defend you liking a shit game
Damn homie get some taste
I accept your concession.
>graphics are meaningless
Yes, graphics ARE meaningless. We are talking about games, not revolutionary pieces of art. And with every game, if you look closer at the graphics, you will notice all sorts of lazy, unrefined shit, especially with Bethesda games. Like I said, a bad game is easily identified by communities doing nothing but sharing scenery screenshots. A game is about mechanics first and graphics second.
>you probably think
You have no idea what I think. You project issues onto me that are completely detached from my points in a massive coping attempt.
>Doing things is more important than experiencing things.
Absolutely. You can sit 24/7 in front of the TV and "experience" things, but it's literally rotting your brain away. Now if you work out while watching TV, this is a completely different story.
>try sitting outside for two hours without doing a damn thing
Yes, even this is a better experience than pressing W for two hours in a fricking video game.
Complete ADHD brain. I feel sorry for you.
And again, completely ignoring my points and displaying your brainrot. Maybe it's time to put down the walking simulators and rethink your life.
Your only point is
>National parks are boring because people take photographs in them, they should be gyms with televisions
And it's the idea of an ADHD brain that can't cope.
And now you are deliberately twisting what I posted like a little, disingenuous rat. Whatever went wrong in your life, it's now slowly coming forward and rearing its ugly face.
You don't even realize your own points, you admitted as much when you missed the photography analogy twice.
As much as I'd like to explain every little thing wrong with your ADHD brain, I've got some screenshots to take in Hitman 2. Beautiful game, by the way.
>you missed your own points because you ignored my analogy twice
Jesus Christ, what walking simulators do to a MFs brain. Absolutely ridiculous.
>homies arguing bout brainrot
>on Ganker
>not arguing about brainrot on Ganker
There's a guy making a mod for easy radio station customisation
It's Todds masterpiece, Ganker BTFO once again.
Rest in piss TES and FO fans, your games still aren't coming out for another 5-10 years.
KINO
GOOD MORNING SIRS
DI THE SNEEDFUL AND PREORDER NO MAN'S SKYRIM
>all that shadow pop-in
At least it's honest
The frick do you mean preorder dumbass the game's been out a week
look at all that lack of interaction and nothing to do
I can already feel my braincells dying off
I REALLY hope the story is more grounded this time. I want to just put in a day's work at a space oil rig and then board the landing ship back into the orbital station for some R&R
IN
SPACE
Finished the story finally. Now back to playing Redfall again!
There are 20 threads for this shitty game. Why would you make a new one?
do you guys think the radiation blast from the midwest will move this way? most of the skin on my hands stays stuck onto my controller when I try to hold it so I hope not
UI mods when
e-girl mods when
I still haven't finished the main quest
Nice I only need to wait 3 more years for it to be in a finished state, have mods that fix all the shit gameplay problems and then I will pirate it.
How SFgays think it will be:
>Good morning, Starfield.
>"Good morning, Batman."
How SF will actually be:
>Good morning, Starfield.
>*game bugs out and crashes*
Getting your memes mixed up there