Okay, whoever's been spray-painting severed ballsacks on the Krogan statue needs to stop immediately. You are not funny.
It's a very important memorial.
its a toss up with half the posts usually being about alternate outcomes of roleplaying games and their companys decisions, with the other half being thinly veiled Gankerposting.
It's obvious the so-called "Collector" attacks are clearly a false flag operation by The Council to interrupt human colonization efforts and make our race fearful of expanding and claiming new territory. Combined with propaganda about the "Reaper" "threat" it's obvious that the council is positioning themselves to take overstep their authority and attempt to take control of humanity. I say not today, motherfricker. I just bought a brand new M-8 Avenger and I'm going to show those blue b***hes down at the Siari shrine that we're not going to take this shit lying down.
You guys know that Omega doesn't have toilets, right? It's literally a giant hollowed-out asteroid mining colony. The Vorcha situation is so bad, I heard Aria set up designated shitting stations.
Anons, I think my Asari gf might be cheating on me. I know, she's an Asari, but we had a good relationship, I like older women, but she keeps talking about having a child and partnering for life - and I know that she's got centuries ahead of her. Suggestions?
The ~~*Council*~~ fired Garrus for trying to warn us about the Reapers. If you haven't already picked out an uninhabited planet to hide on, your family is basically already dead.
Man this board has gone downhill. Infested with people talking about politics.
I'm out here trying to organise games of D&D 8th and quickly checking what snacks are acceptable for Dextrogays and a bunch of shitters come in here trying to talk about the Council or blogpost about their girlfriends or whatever else.
Anyway, on the off-chance anybody on the entire extranet is ACTUALLY here for /traditional games/, do you think the Quarian in our group would be upset if someone was playing a rebellious Warforged? The parallels kinda draw themselves and I don't want to make him upset, but he's the kind of doormat who wouldn't complain if it did upset him.
This one would suggest that you remind your Quarian player that role play can be an avenue to explore one's feelings about generational trauma. This one is in a group that frequently (now that I think of it, invariably) tells the grand Story of the Endkindlers and rotates parts. Please let this one know if you would like to hear more, or would like advice about how to run such a game with your group
Because he's a decent player, decent person, and he's free from 4-10 local time. Same reason everyone else is at my table. What, are you expecting me to know his whole life story?
This one would suggest that you remind your Quarian player that role play can be an avenue to explore one's feelings about generational trauma. This one is in a group that frequently (now that I think of it, invariably) tells the grand Story of the Endkindlers and rotates parts. Please let this one know if you would like to hear more, or would like advice about how to run such a game with your group
I don't know that I really want to be playing therapist. I'd ask but I can't read his face on account of... well, y'know. How do you incorporate your Enkindler stories into your games, then? Precursor Gods and uplifting?
Does anyone else have trouble playing with Aliens? I mean... D&D is really rooted in Humanity's medieval past and my Asari GF literally does not understand the setting, the animals, or anything beyond magic (which she insists are biotics). The only one whose excited to play is my Krogan buddy from work and he's already built a min/maxed barbarian.
How do you explain the concept of medieval earth and fantasy races to Aliens? It's literally an... alien idea to them?
Oh what, our past full of Abeloths, Goblins and Gnolls? Every species has monsters, they all know what mercs are (all adventurers are kind of like mercs), and they're all at least kinda familiar with the concept of monarchy. Maybe not feudalism specifically but y'know, keep it a bit vaguer. What kind of game are you running? If it's like, high political intrigue maybe you just need a quick primer of the movers and shakers and their relationships - your Krogan might not get 'Grand Vizier' but he'll grasp like, 'chief advisor'.
I'm pretty sure your autism is acting up on your GF there anon, being able to summon water out of thin air isn't biotics. Least, I'm pretty sure, I was taught in school it's all just Eezo fields. She's just messing with you.
*Hffft* You know that the resemblance is intentional, earth-clan? The Quarians designed their servile machines with the intent of mockery of our race.
*Hfft* They were mocking us!
*Hffft* But how far did that mockery of our encounter suits get you, vas Defrahnz-Clan? *Hfft* Now you are known for your own, as thieves and scavengers; whilst Volus work keeps the Galactic economy afloat.
Does anyone else have trouble playing with Aliens? I mean... D&D is really rooted in Humanity's medieval past and my Asari GF literally does not understand the setting, the animals, or anything beyond magic (which she insists are biotics). The only one whose excited to play is my Krogan buddy from work and he's already built a min/maxed barbarian.
How do you explain the concept of medieval earth and fantasy races to Aliens? It's literally an... alien idea to them?
What's wrong with playing wargames? Even roleplaying games has its origins in the development of wargames by the Roman emperor in Prussia. Even in your free time you should be seeking to improve your understanding of the battlefield that is life. Even the ancient terrans must have understood this.
For a bunch of alleged "role players" only like 2 people in this thread are actually playing the game. The rest of you are doing Rule 34 bait and /b/ conspiracies.
Sometimes these threads are genuinely glorious with everyone bouncing off each other, non-tg tangents emerging naturally like they do across the rest of the board, and other times like this it's just people posting memes and coomer shit.
Maybe if there was a workable Mass Effect TTRPG we'd all be alright, but there isn't. Well, there is, it's FFG's Star Wars with some heavy reflavouring, but I'm not gonna be the one to do it.
Hypothetically speaking, if someone were to make a Mass Effect inspired game, what kind of scale would you want it to be? Traditional "You are playing your character"? Or higher level such as controlling a ship/group of people doing "stuff"?
How difficult is it to get your own ship? Sure Shepard runs Normandy, but are there actually ships free and available outside big conglomerates or Council Defense Force?
Far as I'm aware, it's not "Hard" to get a ship, just expensive. I remember a Volus in ME3 b***hing about his ship getting repo'd or something, so if some random chucklefrick can have a ship, any random chucklefricks "can" have a ship.
Maybe conceptually have a bit of a backstory thing like ME1 describing how you saved up with the rest of the party to afford a ship, if you wanted to go that route?
>how you saved up with the rest of the party to afford a ship
Can't you just take a mortgage? I always wanted to see space, and rather then buying a property on overcrowded Earth or signing up to slave for decades on some bumfricks colony, I would purchase a small ship to be a space trucker.
2 months ago
Lilyfag
Taking out loans for the ship could be one of those options, and would give an incentive to want to make profits via mercenary work or trade in order to not get got by the space Pinkertons/Debt Collectors
2 months ago
Anonymous
>how you saved up with the rest of the party to afford a ship
Can't you just take a mortgage? I always wanted to see space, and rather then buying a property on overcrowded Earth or signing up to slave for decades on some bumfricks colony, I would purchase a small ship to be a space trucker.
In Edge of the Empire this is literally a core conceit of the game. You have a ship - either because you don't have anywhere else to be or you owe someone for it, depending on how expensive it is. Sure, your beat-up old turtle freighter is fine, someone sold their house and committed to the lifestyle, but bigger and better stuff comes with either its own story hook in the Obligations system.
I know it's like centuries old Earth stuff now, but it's still a good system if you can find a copy on the extranet.
>Try to introduce group to Lo5 >The turian gets real into it, Maybe to into it, makes a pretty basic mantis >Grognard Krogan just makes a Crab with a little girl >Asari makes a crane >her fricking pet Vorcha makes a scorpion
I expected the worst since all of them but the bird are the worst kind of players. Murderhobo, bawd and just plain moronic but they actually roleplayed for once and the vorcha managed to stay alive for longer than a session. Gonna miss him, he was the only good one that azure thot brought to the table.
See I've run L5R for a few people and I had this Asari who explained to me she was really interested because it was like a 'Justicar vid'. Apparently they're like a wandering ronin type thing in Asari culture, so they've got their own samurai cinema equivalent, which is pretty cool. I'm pretty sure the license got snapped up by some Asari corp a while back, they've been really keeping the game afloat. L5R's had a rough go of it. I don't run it because every game is fricking CURSED, true story, something goes wrong like every session.
What's wrong with playing wargames? Even roleplaying games has its origins in the development of wargames by the Roman emperor in Prussia. Even in your free time you should be seeking to improve your understanding of the battlefield that is life. Even the ancient terrans must have understood this.
This post is genuinely amazing.
But people play RPGs as a kind of battle simulation, birdgay. We might never face a ancient red dragon but it lets us experience crisis situations we maybe wouldn't like to live through and bond as a group. Strengthening the fraternity between life's soldiers, y'know?
2 months ago
Anonymous
>We might never face a ancient red dragon but it lets us experience crisis situations we maybe wouldn't like to live through and bond as a group. Strengthening the fraternity between life's soldiers, y'know?
>be alliance grunt farmed out to a Turian taskforce to go geth hunting >supply nco gets preggers and goes home, I'm tasked to fill in >sitting in on a strike briefing on Turian cruiser >blah blah navy hits big things, blah blah Turians drop and kill what's left blah blah Alliance just secures perimeter and deals with squirters >new company commander opens his mouth and babbles about how his nerd-wizard game "prepared him as a warrior for this coming encounter with evil" >confused looks all around so this doughy looking captain starts babbling about "sharpening his action economy to a honed edge" and already "mastering the terror of dragon slaying" >Turians fricking baffled, XO speechless, 1SG is about to have a stroke >Turians conclude meeting on the spot and ask everyone but the commander to stay and chat >as soon as captain leaves the room, briefing continues like normal >within 4 hours, higher has relieved captain and put him in charge of logistics >I get to go back to leading my squad on the strike instead of counting MREs
Lmao, Captain Rumplefugger is that you?
2 months ago
Anonymous
>officer gets demoted from position he didn't want, back to his natural habitat of scalping all the chili mac MRE's for himself and sitting on his ass all day shitposting and procrastinating on his unpainted models
based moron
This one suggests an adventure conceit in which you must infiltrate a ship belonging to privateers or unscrupulous mercenaries. After either siezing the ship or defeating its inhabitants, the ship, already of questionable legal provenance, may pass unto your party and possibly even obtain legal recognition of ownership from local or galactic level authorities
Lore wise, maybe not.
Mechanically, I might find some of the ideas of how certain combos explode for extra damage, an interesting combat tool to work with. Could I make my own setting? Yeah, probably. Would it catch the eye as well as "The Unofficial Mass Effect TTRPG" and get as many people to download it? Probably not, lol.
I mean I'm a Star Wars gay so I can easily see the entire Mass Effect story translated into the SW Universe. It would actually be kinda nice to have Shepard as a hypothetical non-Force User taking center-stage.
But you could also make like an amalgamated oughts sci-fi universe, so Halo + Mass Effect + Babylon 5 + Stargate? + Parts of Trek? The UNSC for example is way better defined than the Systems Alliance, so you could make that the prime humanity faction, and just integrate Alliance stuff into it, perhaps Alliance evolved out of the UNSC.
2 months ago
Lilyfag
I think some of the lore on some of those might be clashing, as would the tech levels.
But the concept of that blended setting does sound interesting. Though, admittedly, I missed out on Babylon 5 and Stargate, so my knowledge of deep lore there is nonexistent.
[...]
Working on it anon, keep your panties on. You wanna help brainstorm a Mass Effect TTRPG? Wanna make this a gamedev thread out of nowhere? lmao
2 months ago
Anonymous
I once saw a sci-fi reskin of 4th edition D&D, of all things, that was a near-perfect fit for mass effect combat.
2 months ago
Anonymous
Hi I'm one of the 6 people that play 4e do you have that to hand? Or at least its name or defining features? How much work will the reskinning be?
2 months ago
Anonymous
>Shepard >hypothetical non-Force User
Shepard is canonically a Manguard.
2 months ago
Anonymous
>Vanguard
I'm a marine, not some tourist on vacation.
it would be about running spec ops just like in the game. either directly for a state/org or being mercenaries that get hired for this stuff. anything else and it's just not mass effecty enough
a skirmish game centered purely around hero units could be interesting
2 months ago
Lilyfag
A Hero Unit focused skirmish game does sound kinda neat. Do you think it should be purely Hero vs Hero? Or add some chaff to prove how much the hero is capable of? If the former, it would probably end up just being a standard skirmish game with flavor "Saying" your guys are the best of the best. The latter makes balance a lot harder though.
I once saw a sci-fi reskin of 4th edition D&D, of all things, that was a near-perfect fit for mass effect combat.
Would you happen to have a name or the pdf?
2 months ago
Aspiring Investor
hmm perhaps each hero can bring along say 1-3 free units depending on type. so say a Cerberus hero can either bring 3 cerberus infantry or 1 cerberus mech.
2 months ago
Lilyfag
Fielding like... 3 squads, lead by a hero each. I think you could make a very interesting game with this concept. Wouldn't tie with the first idea of a TTRPG, but I think this'd be very fun. Limiting how far attached units can be from their Leader, outside of specific units like Infiltrators or Vehicles. Maybe the different attached units you can bring are the way you do list building? Like certain heroes make other certain chaff units better or cheaper?
Going for the Cerberus idea, you have a special Cerberus Guardian as a hero, taking him makes, say, Nemesis cheaper, or gives a better save to Assault Troopers behind him. Or taking a Dragoon Hero makes other Dragoons hit harder/have more health?
So looking at the list of Cerberus enemies (excluding DLC stuff), we've got basically every range bracket covered. Correct me if I'm moronic or inadvertently stealing from other people. I'm gonna spitball a few basic ideas here.
A list starts with... let's say 30 Points per squad, with 3 squads. Same idea as in-game as having 2 companions/followers and your "Main Hero". A minimum of 2 units, including your Hero must be in the squad, with a maximum of 4 with the Hero.
1/x
2 months ago
Lilyfag
Your basic chaff, in this case is the Assault Trooper, would run 7 points. Chaff cannot be made a Hero.
The Chaff Leader, being the Centurion, would also run 7 points going to 9 points as a Hero. It reduces the cost of Assault Troopers by 2 when the Hero. Opening up for hypothetical optional weapons/upgrades.
Then moving onto specialists, the Combat Engineer would be a bit more important in a squad, so I'm thinking... 9 points? upped to 12 when the Hero. Reducing the cost of an Atlas by 2 points when taken as the Hero.
Speaking of the Atlas, 20 points for big, strong, stompy mecha. I'm torn between allowing a Hero Atlas, or only keeping it as a support platform.
Dragoons are the next specialist, thinking back to how they worked in the game, they're fairly tough, fast and hit hard, so I think 10 points, 12 as a Hero, and reducing the cost of other Dragoons taken by 2 if used as the Hero.
Guardians bring in the bigass shields. Not good "Damage Dealers" but reasonably effective at being at the front, so maybe like... 10 points as well, reducing the cost of all other units taken by 1 point, as well as giving a sort of cover to units behind it? That's deeper into mechanics tho, so I'm not really gonna worry about that yet lol. This is still a spitball idea.
Nemesis are the snipers. 12 points, 14 as a Hero, they don't reduce the cost of anything else, but I think they could offer an accuracy increase to units they lead? I remember they had laser sights, so that could be a thing? Would have to balance everything to make sure not being able to fit more stuff in, and being able to shoot better, are about equal.
Last on the docket being the fricking Phantom. 15 points, 18 as the Hero and reduces the cost of another phantom by 5 points when taken as the hero. Only thing on the list that has invisibility, and a one-shot mechanic.
2 months ago
Lilyfag
I have yet to make a hex based game, so Hexes with Facing sounds like an interesting challenge here. Anyone have any ideas for the system? d8's maybe? I don't wanna just say "lol more d6's".
I'm still in killteam brain rn, so a lot of the ideas I'm forming are painfully similar to that, lol. Another point of view would be helpful.
The filthy Volus run the banks
they run the media, they promote salarian krogan relationships,& they have the council in their pockets. We need TKD & TVD in order to give our Clutches a future.
My group’s DM started a new campaign a couple weeks ago with a geth but we’ve since developed sort of an anti-problem — he (it? they?) takes all of his turns and makes all of his instantly. Apparently he’s “already calculated an optimal approach to the hypothetical,” which I guess is nice, but he doesn’t deliberate with the group at all, except for when he and our resident turian rile each other up over “tactical supremacy” or whatever. Is this normal? Should I ask him to try and slow down, or at least explain what he’s thinking to the rest of us?
Also, I’m pretty sure he’s been making passes at the host’s VI. Keeps asking to interface with her whenever there’s a lull in the session. Is this normal for geth?
Kill batarians. Behead batarians. Roundhouse kick a batarian into the concrete. Slam dunk a batarian baby into the trashcan. Crucify filthy squints. Defecate in a batarians food. Launch batarians into the sun. Stir fry batarians in a wok. Toss batarians into active volcanoes. Urinate into a batarians gas tank. Judo throw batarians into a wood chipper. Twist batarians heads off. Report batarians to the IRS. Karate chop batarians in half. Curb stomp pregnant black batarians. Trap batarians in quicksand. Crush batarians in the trash compactor. Liquefy batarians in a vat of acid. Eat batarians. Dissect batarians. Exterminate batarians in the gas chamber. Stomp batarian skulls with steel toed boots. Cremate batarians in the oven. Lobotomize batarians. Mandatory abortions for batarians. Grind batarian fetuses in the garbage disposal. Drown batarians in fried pyjack grease. Vaporize batarians with a ray gun. Kick old batarians down the stairs. Feed batarians to varren. Slice batarians with a katana.
>advertise that I will be playing a game of Vampire the Masquerade 10th edition >five Asari and a krogan join >the asari all somehow pick Toreador and max out appearance >Krogan makes Caitiff with Potence, Celerity, and Fortitude >Asari players spend the whole game just seducing people >everyone that isn't instantly seduced gets his skull caved in by the Krogan
>160 years later they're STILL pversilling masquerade >last werewolf supplement was in my greatgrandfather's day
I'M FRICKING SICK OF FRICKING CAANITE SHITTERS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>Try to introduce group to Lo5 >The turian gets real into it, Maybe to into it, makes a pretty basic mantis >Grognard Krogan just makes a Crab with a little girl >Asari makes a crane >her fricking pet Vorcha makes a scorpion
I expected the worst since all of them but the bird are the worst kind of players. Murderhobo, bawd and just plain moronic but they actually roleplayed for once and the vorcha managed to stay alive for longer than a session. Gonna miss him, he was the only good one that azure thot brought to the table.
Can't believe Commander Shepard had sex with that filthy fricking Turian in her crew. How can she do that to us? The Turians greeted humanity with gunfire while Shepard greets their wieners with her mouth. Literally! She turned all us human men into cucks. She's dead to me. Can't believe I ever simped over her. I'm joining Cerberus.
>her
I still can't believe Shepard died two years ago and then suddenly reappeared as a white redhead thirsting for turian wiener. He used to be a black man.
>implying there is only one Shepard >implying the worst kept secret of The Council wasn't the Shepard Twins >Implying Batariniggs aren't on suicide watch
>Cerberus spent billions of credits to turn greatest hero humanity had into a bimbo with xenophilia fetish >the body (or whatever remained of it) was deliverd by dr. T'Soni who specifically demanded that Shepard should be a "bawd for Asari"
>literal an entire GALAXY worth of systems >my table still doesn't want to play anything but D&D
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I CAN'T FRICKING TAKE IT ANYMORE I JUST WANT A GROUP THAT WILL PLAY ANYTHING *ANYTHING* BUT D&D
I'LL EVEN PLAY FRICKING FATAL AT THIS POINT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Instead of decreasing Krogan fertility to pre-industrial levels, the fertility of other races should have been boosted to Krogan levels. Prove me wrong.
The Krogan version of 40k is pretty good. You really get the epic sense of scale the books talk about and a lot of Krogans use holographic boards instead of models, so it's more like a video game.
>Loser gets raped
It's not rape if you agree to it beforehand, or enjoy it.
The latter has become an issue for me. I swear my usual gaming buddy keeps letting me steamroll his Eldar with my Guardsmen infantry setup. Last time I heard him say something about "Genophaging his cloaca" during my victory hump.
>Loser gets raped
It's not rape if you agree to it beforehand, or enjoy it.
The latter has become an issue for me. I swear my usual gaming buddy keeps letting me steamroll his Eldar with my Guardsmen infantry setup. Last time I heard him say something about "Genophaging his cloaca" during my victory hump.
A-anon... you are supposed too fight them off not just let them rape you...
>He didn't know about Krogan hazing rituals so he just let them frick his ass without preparation.
Dude holy shit. Krogans only do that to show dominance. If you fight back or just stand up for yourself, they stand down. I can't believe you let them take you like that. This is like early 21st century Alpha male shit in action.
This is a bizarre piece of crossover art - I mean, a bizarre re-interpretation by an alien culture to 'update' a design. I'm sort of impressed and disgusted all at the same time?
... also can we talk for a sec about how much the CRPG fricked up everyone's designs by twee-ing the shit out of them? Like this is clearly based on Arushalae from the CRPG, who is the embodiment of that 'pleading face' emoji. >Hesitant >Meek >Drawn and acted to be childish >Has never topped in her life, despite being a Succubus >Clearly given an anime make-over
Compare the virgin CRPG Aru with the chad Adventure Path Aru. >Confident >Mature >Ready for action, some tomboy energy >Absolutely tops >Ready to rip a demon's entrails out by hand, because being good doesn't stop you being violent >Still has demonic eyes and facial tattoos
Much better. Why did they change this. Classic Aru even has lipstick, because she's a succubus and they can have that built in, while modern Aru gets that stupid frickin' pout, I hate it.
This isn't really ontopic, but personally I have to say Arueshalae appearance looks disappointing in both the art for the advenure path and the video game. What a waste of a concept.
same. Why isn't she in a Asari bikini armor?
Humans are so prudish that there fantasy characters can't even wear sexy attires because it's "problematic"
Compare the virgin CRPG Aru with the chad Adventure Path Aru. >Confident >Mature >Ready for action, some tomboy energy >Absolutely tops >Ready to rip a demon's entrails out by hand, because being good doesn't stop you being violent >Still has demonic eyes and facial tattoos
Much better. Why did they change this. Classic Aru even has lipstick, because she's a succubus and they can have that built in, while modern Aru gets that stupid frickin' pout, I hate it.
Don't get me started on what they did to Wenduag.
yeah. i legit hate all the wotr portraits. Arue went from succubus tomboy that can wrestle a kalavakus to a anime moe gap that faints if you even touch her. >Wenduag.
her and Lann suffered the worst redesign imo.
They're not all bad, Daeran's is absolutely fine for who he is, and they managed to preserve Irabeth and a few others.
But the original AP had everyone looking like kinda hardened 30-somethings, and I really appreciate that, especially in women, because so often in media people are either old wizards or young people. WotR wasn't afraid to make people ugly or middle aged in a way that was still really aesthetically appealing because ultimately I'm here for a fantasy game.
Plus Areelu and Baphomet's designs in Owlcat's WotR were stellar, I'll always take CRPG Areelu and Baphomet over their uh... very, VERY 90's/early 00's designs in the AP.
Remember the average Asari body count. Calculated using multiple surveys and datasets collected over the last cycle. Incredible findings. Here, see for yourself:
humans
krogans
turians
elcor
salarians
hanar >2492 keepers >666 batarians >8720 quarians
varren >6270 klixen
Asari >7450 drell >730 pod crabs
pyjaks >1 prothean >2 yahg >4580 vorcha >0 Volus
Why do most Turian refuse to play dnd 20e edition or even age of Gulliman? i just want to befriend one but their TTRPG is the most autistic system ever imagined.
They want roleplay heavy systems with an emphasis on tactics. They don't like winning cause they got stat increases or a bigger sword, the cloacas love to win by spending a hour or two thinking up a strategy.
That, or maid rpg. Every turian I've gotten in my group goes fricking rabid for maid rpg. I think something in their brains goes banana for the lol so random anime bullshit. That or every Turian I've ran for is a secret weaboo. Asari don't get maid rpg. But they love necronica. Krogan don't. The dead world thing kinda makes them testy
Lost my best player cause of that. Poor Lil vorcha never stood a chance
This is an emergency call. I'm at the FLGS on Zakera Ward 19, and there's this old Krogan dude. He walked in and put 2000 points of Imperial Guard on the field and he's absolutely fricking kicking everyone's ass so hard nobody wants to play. Hurry over here right now, otherwise the store owner will think the event failed and start fricking selling Kepek-Yakshi kits instead. I don't fricking want more Asari "wargame" shit, get over here RIGHT NOW
I'm fricking serious here. /tg/ stores are rare enough as it is on the Citadel, and I don't want another to end up as some shell catering to the Asari and their glorified intellectual masturbation over actual for-fun gaming.
>implying the store doesn't close down to make room for another tropical fish store, Sirta Home & Beauty, Turian Tacos, or This One's Intimate Apparel
the invisible hand of the market hasn't slapped your cheeks enough if you thought this would last
Kill Batarians. Behead Batarians. Roundhouse kick a Batarians into the concrete. Slam dunk a Batarians into the trashcan. Crucify filthy Batarians. Defecate in a Batarians’s food. Launch Batarians into the Omega Relay. Stir fry Batarians in a wok. Toss Batarians into active volcanoes. Feed Batarians Dextro-amino acid foodstuffs. Urinate into a Batarians’s eezo core. Judo throw Batarians into a wood chipper. Gouge Batarians' eyes out. Report Batarians to C-Sec. Karate chop Batarians in half. Curb stomp pregnant Batarians. Trap Batarians in quicksand. Crush Batarians in the trash compactor. Liquefy Batarians in Collector Vessels. Eat Batarians. Dissect Batarians. Exterminate Batarians in the gas chamber. Stomp Batarians skulls with steel toed boots. Cremate Batarians in the oven. Indoctrinate Batarians. Mandatory abortions for Batarians. Grind Batarians fetuses in the garbage disposal. Drown Batarians in fried chicken grease. Vaporize Batarians with anti-matter. Kick old Batarians down the stairs. Feed Batarians to Varren. Force Batarians to play Adept. Slice Batarians with an omni-blade. Destroy Batarian colonies with asteroids.
My Asari girlfriend got raped by a pack of Vorcha after she dressed in a skimpy little thong again. I told her before to dress modestly but she laughed at me and ignored me. And the craziest thing is that she doesn't even seem to care she got raped. I'm so mad, should I break up with her?
>The venereal disease infected parasite I share with several other males, including vorcha
FTFY
You should get tested. Make sure she didn't give you any STIs. Dump her and move to some colony where no one knows you're a dogfricker by proxy.
Hey guys, I've been working at a security firm that recruits across the Council races. One of my Turian co-workers (female) has been leaving meat on my desk and has been following me back to my apartment for more than a few nights now. I feel like she's hunting me, but I don't know why. When I talk to her, she shows no anger or anything. She also has been touching me for no reason.
She both likes you, and thinks you're shit at hunting. Sort of like a cat, but with armored chitin and a cloaca that can give you an allergic reaction.
Take her on a safari date.
>turian colonies for turians >asari colonies for asari >vorcha colonies for vorcha >human colonies for everyone
We must secure the existence of our species and a future for human children
Reminder. Your LGS is and always will be shit until at least a dozen Vorcha have died in it. Doesn't have to be one event, or a regular thing, but the rust colored stain where an elcor smashed the B/R playing vermin should be enshrined.
How the frick do i explain 199 years of 40k lore and retcons to some turians I hang out with and where can i get the stimms needed to keep me from kicking the bucket trying to go over everything?
just show them the after action reports, that's all they ever read. also they will give you the stims, since offloading their supply will save them a disciplinary hearing
Just fricking kill me. Seriously everyone will be better of with me dead, the third age burns in the back of my skull. My mounting failures will drag us all to our deaths.
>be on pilgrimage >denied extranet omni-mmo key >kiosk worker gets pissy >some c-sec asari asks what I've stolen >explain I just want to buy game key >she sighs and walks away >get invited to one of those roll game things by a passing human >sure why not >show up and was clearly not expected >guy who invited me makes it awkward the whole time >thinly veiled attempts to get into my suit >leave end at the of night >get a message inviting me back in seven earth days noting the person who invited me is no longer welcome
The anon who invited you had probably already done some shit before. You, however, despite being an uninvited guest with no roll game experience somehow made yourself into a decent player.
Congratulations on your new human friend group. Bring your own snacks; I had a Turian peanut once and was shitting my guts out for several days.
Man I really hope there's a propler sequel to Cyberpunk 2020 someday.
>Deep Sorrow: MFW no qt quarian gf.
>With Lamentation
I long for the embrace of a Quarian gf. How could the universe be so cruel as to deny me my only desire.
>Foolish optimism
One day, one day.
Okay, whoever's been spray-painting severed ballsacks on the Krogan statue needs to stop immediately. You are not funny.
It's a very important memorial.
I don't know what that means.
its a toss up with half the posts usually being about alternate outcomes of roleplaying games and their companys decisions, with the other half being thinly veiled Gankerposting.
Bashful but slightly aroused. About that new specie, humans, how do their males feel about women of other species?
It's obvious the so-called "Collector" attacks are clearly a false flag operation by The Council to interrupt human colonization efforts and make our race fearful of expanding and claiming new territory. Combined with propaganda about the "Reaper" "threat" it's obvious that the council is positioning themselves to take overstep their authority and attempt to take control of humanity. I say not today, motherfricker. I just bought a brand new M-8 Avenger and I'm going to show those blue b***hes down at the Siari shrine that we're not going to take this shit lying down.
I will never forget how replacing all of the Council with humans had absolutely zero effect on the story going forward.
Why the frick do human and Asari women lust after BBC (Big Batarian wiener) so much?
what the frick is a human?
You guys know that Omega doesn't have toilets, right? It's literally a giant hollowed-out asteroid mining colony. The Vorcha situation is so bad, I heard Aria set up designated shitting stations.
Hanar Sex Party
Hanar Sex Party
Anons, I think my Asari gf might be cheating on me. I know, she's an Asari, but we had a good relationship, I like older women, but she keeps talking about having a child and partnering for life - and I know that she's got centuries ahead of her. Suggestions?
>wants to have kids
>with the b***h that's cheating on you
it's a dumb fricking decision in species, and still a dumb fricking decision out of it
The ~~*Council*~~ fired Garrus for trying to warn us about the Reapers. If you haven't already picked out an uninhabited planet to hide on, your family is basically already dead.
Man this board has gone downhill. Infested with people talking about politics.
I'm out here trying to organise games of D&D 8th and quickly checking what snacks are acceptable for Dextrogays and a bunch of shitters come in here trying to talk about the Council or blogpost about their girlfriends or whatever else.
Anyway, on the off-chance anybody on the entire extranet is ACTUALLY here for /traditional games/, do you think the Quarian in our group would be upset if someone was playing a rebellious Warforged? The parallels kinda draw themselves and I don't want to make him upset, but he's the kind of doormat who wouldn't complain if it did upset him.
This one would suggest that you remind your Quarian player that role play can be an avenue to explore one's feelings about generational trauma. This one is in a group that frequently (now that I think of it, invariably) tells the grand Story of the Endkindlers and rotates parts. Please let this one know if you would like to hear more, or would like advice about how to run such a game with your group
A better question is why you're playing with a Quarian in the first place.
Because he's a decent player, decent person, and he's free from 4-10 local time. Same reason everyone else is at my table. What, are you expecting me to know his whole life story?
I don't know that I really want to be playing therapist. I'd ask but I can't read his face on account of... well, y'know. How do you incorporate your Enkindler stories into your games, then? Precursor Gods and uplifting?
Oh what, our past full of Abeloths, Goblins and Gnolls? Every species has monsters, they all know what mercs are (all adventurers are kind of like mercs), and they're all at least kinda familiar with the concept of monarchy. Maybe not feudalism specifically but y'know, keep it a bit vaguer. What kind of game are you running? If it's like, high political intrigue maybe you just need a quick primer of the movers and shakers and their relationships - your Krogan might not get 'Grand Vizier' but he'll grasp like, 'chief advisor'.
I'm pretty sure your autism is acting up on your GF there anon, being able to summon water out of thin air isn't biotics. Least, I'm pretty sure, I was taught in school it's all just Eezo fields. She's just messing with you.
You probably play with batarians too.
>Based Shepard blew up all those batarians and covered it by saying it delayed the reapers by a few months.
TBD (total batarian death)
Forgot the image
Volus don't exist. They're actually Geth Infiltrators The Council uses to spy on our transactions and promote commercialization of all properties.
damnit ashley, just because their helmets look a little like geth heads doesn't mean they're geth
*Hffft* You know that the resemblance is intentional, earth-clan? The Quarians designed their servile machines with the intent of mockery of our race.
*Hfft* They were mocking us!
*Hffft* But how far did that mockery of our encounter suits get you, vas Defrahnz-Clan? *Hfft* Now you are known for your own, as thieves and scavengers; whilst Volus work keeps the Galactic economy afloat.
Does anyone else have trouble playing with Aliens? I mean... D&D is really rooted in Humanity's medieval past and my Asari GF literally does not understand the setting, the animals, or anything beyond magic (which she insists are biotics). The only one whose excited to play is my Krogan buddy from work and he's already built a min/maxed barbarian.
How do you explain the concept of medieval earth and fantasy races to Aliens? It's literally an... alien idea to them?
Did anyone else notice that Turians only play wargames and never RPGs?
Yea, the autistic ones you find on Extranet. IRL Turians are normal.
>inb4 "how do I birdwife?"
What's wrong with playing wargames? Even roleplaying games has its origins in the development of wargames by the Roman emperor in Prussia. Even in your free time you should be seeking to improve your understanding of the battlefield that is life. Even the ancient terrans must have understood this.
"Shepard. I need images of Tali Zorah's feet, it's the only way to defeat the Reapers."
"Kiss my ass. Those succulent Quarian toes belong to me. I won't have you drooling over what's mine."
TURIAN PUSSY
TURIAN PUSSY
TURIAN PUSSY
REVENGE FOR SHANXI!!!
For a bunch of alleged "role players" only like 2 people in this thread are actually playing the game. The rest of you are doing Rule 34 bait and /b/ conspiracies.
IT'S EXTRANET /tg/ NOT EXTRANET Ganker.
Sometimes these threads are genuinely glorious with everyone bouncing off each other, non-tg tangents emerging naturally like they do across the rest of the board, and other times like this it's just people posting memes and coomer shit.
Maybe if there was a workable Mass Effect TTRPG we'd all be alright, but there isn't. Well, there is, it's FFG's Star Wars with some heavy reflavouring, but I'm not gonna be the one to do it.
Hypothetically speaking, if someone were to make a Mass Effect inspired game, what kind of scale would you want it to be? Traditional "You are playing your character"? Or higher level such as controlling a ship/group of people doing "stuff"?
How difficult is it to get your own ship? Sure Shepard runs Normandy, but are there actually ships free and available outside big conglomerates or Council Defense Force?
Far as I'm aware, it's not "Hard" to get a ship, just expensive. I remember a Volus in ME3 b***hing about his ship getting repo'd or something, so if some random chucklefrick can have a ship, any random chucklefricks "can" have a ship.
Maybe conceptually have a bit of a backstory thing like ME1 describing how you saved up with the rest of the party to afford a ship, if you wanted to go that route?
>how you saved up with the rest of the party to afford a ship
Can't you just take a mortgage? I always wanted to see space, and rather then buying a property on overcrowded Earth or signing up to slave for decades on some bumfricks colony, I would purchase a small ship to be a space trucker.
Taking out loans for the ship could be one of those options, and would give an incentive to want to make profits via mercenary work or trade in order to not get got by the space Pinkertons/Debt Collectors
In Edge of the Empire this is literally a core conceit of the game. You have a ship - either because you don't have anywhere else to be or you owe someone for it, depending on how expensive it is. Sure, your beat-up old turtle freighter is fine, someone sold their house and committed to the lifestyle, but bigger and better stuff comes with either its own story hook in the Obligations system.
I know it's like centuries old Earth stuff now, but it's still a good system if you can find a copy on the extranet.
See I've run L5R for a few people and I had this Asari who explained to me she was really interested because it was like a 'Justicar vid'. Apparently they're like a wandering ronin type thing in Asari culture, so they've got their own samurai cinema equivalent, which is pretty cool. I'm pretty sure the license got snapped up by some Asari corp a while back, they've been really keeping the game afloat. L5R's had a rough go of it. I don't run it because every game is fricking CURSED, true story, something goes wrong like every session.
This post is genuinely amazing.
But people play RPGs as a kind of battle simulation, birdgay. We might never face a ancient red dragon but it lets us experience crisis situations we maybe wouldn't like to live through and bond as a group. Strengthening the fraternity between life's soldiers, y'know?
>We might never face a ancient red dragon but it lets us experience crisis situations we maybe wouldn't like to live through and bond as a group. Strengthening the fraternity between life's soldiers, y'know?
>be alliance grunt farmed out to a Turian taskforce to go geth hunting
>supply nco gets preggers and goes home, I'm tasked to fill in
>sitting in on a strike briefing on Turian cruiser
>blah blah navy hits big things, blah blah Turians drop and kill what's left blah blah Alliance just secures perimeter and deals with squirters
>new company commander opens his mouth and babbles about how his nerd-wizard game "prepared him as a warrior for this coming encounter with evil"
>confused looks all around so this doughy looking captain starts babbling about "sharpening his action economy to a honed edge" and already "mastering the terror of dragon slaying"
>Turians fricking baffled, XO speechless, 1SG is about to have a stroke
>Turians conclude meeting on the spot and ask everyone but the commander to stay and chat
>as soon as captain leaves the room, briefing continues like normal
>within 4 hours, higher has relieved captain and put him in charge of logistics
>I get to go back to leading my squad on the strike instead of counting MREs
Lmao, Captain Rumplefugger is that you?
>officer gets demoted from position he didn't want, back to his natural habitat of scalping all the chili mac MRE's for himself and sitting on his ass all day shitposting and procrastinating on his unpainted models
based moron
This one suggests an adventure conceit in which you must infiltrate a ship belonging to privateers or unscrupulous mercenaries. After either siezing the ship or defeating its inhabitants, the ship, already of questionable legal provenance, may pass unto your party and possibly even obtain legal recognition of ownership from local or galactic level authorities
Problem is Mass Effect is not a very inspired setting. It doesn't have anything that Star Wars or Star Trek doesn't offer. Even Halo.
Lore wise, maybe not.
Mechanically, I might find some of the ideas of how certain combos explode for extra damage, an interesting combat tool to work with. Could I make my own setting? Yeah, probably. Would it catch the eye as well as "The Unofficial Mass Effect TTRPG" and get as many people to download it? Probably not, lol.
I mean I'm a Star Wars gay so I can easily see the entire Mass Effect story translated into the SW Universe. It would actually be kinda nice to have Shepard as a hypothetical non-Force User taking center-stage.
But you could also make like an amalgamated oughts sci-fi universe, so Halo + Mass Effect + Babylon 5 + Stargate? + Parts of Trek? The UNSC for example is way better defined than the Systems Alliance, so you could make that the prime humanity faction, and just integrate Alliance stuff into it, perhaps Alliance evolved out of the UNSC.
I think some of the lore on some of those might be clashing, as would the tech levels.
But the concept of that blended setting does sound interesting. Though, admittedly, I missed out on Babylon 5 and Stargate, so my knowledge of deep lore there is nonexistent.
Working on it anon, keep your panties on. You wanna help brainstorm a Mass Effect TTRPG? Wanna make this a gamedev thread out of nowhere? lmao
I once saw a sci-fi reskin of 4th edition D&D, of all things, that was a near-perfect fit for mass effect combat.
Hi I'm one of the 6 people that play 4e do you have that to hand? Or at least its name or defining features? How much work will the reskinning be?
>Shepard
>hypothetical non-Force User
Shepard is canonically a Manguard.
>Vanguard
I'm a marine, not some tourist on vacation.
it would be about running spec ops just like in the game. either directly for a state/org or being mercenaries that get hired for this stuff. anything else and it's just not mass effecty enough
That feels vaguely fitting for a pseudo skirmish game, I think.
a skirmish game centered purely around hero units could be interesting
A Hero Unit focused skirmish game does sound kinda neat. Do you think it should be purely Hero vs Hero? Or add some chaff to prove how much the hero is capable of? If the former, it would probably end up just being a standard skirmish game with flavor "Saying" your guys are the best of the best. The latter makes balance a lot harder though.
Would you happen to have a name or the pdf?
hmm perhaps each hero can bring along say 1-3 free units depending on type. so say a Cerberus hero can either bring 3 cerberus infantry or 1 cerberus mech.
Fielding like... 3 squads, lead by a hero each. I think you could make a very interesting game with this concept. Wouldn't tie with the first idea of a TTRPG, but I think this'd be very fun. Limiting how far attached units can be from their Leader, outside of specific units like Infiltrators or Vehicles. Maybe the different attached units you can bring are the way you do list building? Like certain heroes make other certain chaff units better or cheaper?
Going for the Cerberus idea, you have a special Cerberus Guardian as a hero, taking him makes, say, Nemesis cheaper, or gives a better save to Assault Troopers behind him. Or taking a Dragoon Hero makes other Dragoons hit harder/have more health?
So looking at the list of Cerberus enemies (excluding DLC stuff), we've got basically every range bracket covered. Correct me if I'm moronic or inadvertently stealing from other people. I'm gonna spitball a few basic ideas here.
A list starts with... let's say 30 Points per squad, with 3 squads. Same idea as in-game as having 2 companions/followers and your "Main Hero". A minimum of 2 units, including your Hero must be in the squad, with a maximum of 4 with the Hero.
1/x
Your basic chaff, in this case is the Assault Trooper, would run 7 points. Chaff cannot be made a Hero.
The Chaff Leader, being the Centurion, would also run 7 points going to 9 points as a Hero. It reduces the cost of Assault Troopers by 2 when the Hero. Opening up for hypothetical optional weapons/upgrades.
Then moving onto specialists, the Combat Engineer would be a bit more important in a squad, so I'm thinking... 9 points? upped to 12 when the Hero. Reducing the cost of an Atlas by 2 points when taken as the Hero.
Speaking of the Atlas, 20 points for big, strong, stompy mecha. I'm torn between allowing a Hero Atlas, or only keeping it as a support platform.
Dragoons are the next specialist, thinking back to how they worked in the game, they're fairly tough, fast and hit hard, so I think 10 points, 12 as a Hero, and reducing the cost of other Dragoons taken by 2 if used as the Hero.
Guardians bring in the bigass shields. Not good "Damage Dealers" but reasonably effective at being at the front, so maybe like... 10 points as well, reducing the cost of all other units taken by 1 point, as well as giving a sort of cover to units behind it? That's deeper into mechanics tho, so I'm not really gonna worry about that yet lol. This is still a spitball idea.
Nemesis are the snipers. 12 points, 14 as a Hero, they don't reduce the cost of anything else, but I think they could offer an accuracy increase to units they lead? I remember they had laser sights, so that could be a thing? Would have to balance everything to make sure not being able to fit more stuff in, and being able to shoot better, are about equal.
Last on the docket being the fricking Phantom. 15 points, 18 as the Hero and reduces the cost of another phantom by 5 points when taken as the hero. Only thing on the list that has invisibility, and a one-shot mechanic.
I have yet to make a hex based game, so Hexes with Facing sounds like an interesting challenge here. Anyone have any ideas for the system? d8's maybe? I don't wanna just say "lol more d6's".
I'm still in killteam brain rn, so a lot of the ideas I'm forming are painfully similar to that, lol. Another point of view would be helpful.
The filthy Volus run the banks
they run the media, they promote salarian krogan relationships,& they have the council in their pockets. We need TKD & TVD in order to give our Clutches a future.
i'm going to report you for /cer/ posting /cer/bong
My group’s DM started a new campaign a couple weeks ago with a geth but we’ve since developed sort of an anti-problem — he (it? they?) takes all of his turns and makes all of his instantly. Apparently he’s “already calculated an optimal approach to the hypothetical,” which I guess is nice, but he doesn’t deliberate with the group at all, except for when he and our resident turian rile each other up over “tactical supremacy” or whatever. Is this normal? Should I ask him to try and slow down, or at least explain what he’s thinking to the rest of us?
Also, I’m pretty sure he’s been making passes at the host’s VI. Keeps asking to interface with her whenever there’s a lull in the session. Is this normal for geth?
Makes all of his decisions, I mean to say. Puny organic slipup.
Kill batarians. Behead batarians. Roundhouse kick a batarian into the concrete. Slam dunk a batarian baby into the trashcan. Crucify filthy squints. Defecate in a batarians food. Launch batarians into the sun. Stir fry batarians in a wok. Toss batarians into active volcanoes. Urinate into a batarians gas tank. Judo throw batarians into a wood chipper. Twist batarians heads off. Report batarians to the IRS. Karate chop batarians in half. Curb stomp pregnant black batarians. Trap batarians in quicksand. Crush batarians in the trash compactor. Liquefy batarians in a vat of acid. Eat batarians. Dissect batarians. Exterminate batarians in the gas chamber. Stomp batarian skulls with steel toed boots. Cremate batarians in the oven. Lobotomize batarians. Mandatory abortions for batarians. Grind batarian fetuses in the garbage disposal. Drown batarians in fried pyjack grease. Vaporize batarians with a ray gun. Kick old batarians down the stairs. Feed batarians to varren. Slice batarians with a katana.
Came here looking for this
I was surprised no one had posted it earlier than I did.
>advertise that I will be playing a game of Vampire the Masquerade 10th edition
>five Asari and a krogan join
>the asari all somehow pick Toreador and max out appearance
>Krogan makes Caitiff with Potence, Celerity, and Fortitude
>Asari players spend the whole game just seducing people
>everyone that isn't instantly seduced gets his skull caved in by the Krogan
Hey, it's a good system, squishy
>160 years later they're STILL pversilling masquerade
>last werewolf supplement was in my greatgrandfather's day
I'M FRICKING SICK OF FRICKING CAANITE SHITTERS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Reapers are a Volus psyop.
It’s always the Volus. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
>Try to introduce group to Lo5
>The turian gets real into it, Maybe to into it, makes a pretty basic mantis
>Grognard Krogan just makes a Crab with a little girl
>Asari makes a crane
>her fricking pet Vorcha makes a scorpion
I expected the worst since all of them but the bird are the worst kind of players. Murderhobo, bawd and just plain moronic but they actually roleplayed for once and the vorcha managed to stay alive for longer than a session. Gonna miss him, he was the only good one that azure thot brought to the table.
Can't believe Commander Shepard had sex with that filthy fricking Turian in her crew. How can she do that to us? The Turians greeted humanity with gunfire while Shepard greets their wieners with her mouth. Literally! She turned all us human men into cucks. She's dead to me. Can't believe I ever simped over her. I'm joining Cerberus.
>her
I still can't believe Shepard died two years ago and then suddenly reappeared as a white redhead thirsting for turian wiener. He used to be a black man.
>implying there is only one Shepard
>implying the worst kept secret of The Council wasn't the Shepard Twins
>Implying Batariniggs aren't on suicide watch
>Cerberus spent billions of credits to turn greatest hero humanity had into a bimbo with xenophilia fetish
>the body (or whatever remained of it) was deliverd by dr. T'Soni who specifically demanded that Shepard should be a "bawd for Asari"
shut the frick up, Ash. I should've let you die too. Or even better, sold you to a batarian pimp.
>literal an entire GALAXY worth of systems
>my table still doesn't want to play anything but D&D
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I CAN'T FRICKING TAKE IT ANYMORE I JUST WANT A GROUP THAT WILL PLAY ANYTHING *ANYTHING* BUT D&D
I'LL EVEN PLAY FRICKING FATAL AT THIS POINT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
The Genophage was completely justified
Instead of decreasing Krogan fertility to pre-industrial levels, the fertility of other races should have been boosted to Krogan levels. Prove me wrong.
The Krogan version of 40k is pretty good. You really get the epic sense of scale the books talk about and a lot of Krogans use holographic boards instead of models, so it's more like a video game.
Yeah but the loser of a Krogan 40k game gets anally or cloacally raped.
>Loser gets raped
It's not rape if you agree to it beforehand, or enjoy it.
The latter has become an issue for me. I swear my usual gaming buddy keeps letting me steamroll his Eldar with my Guardsmen infantry setup. Last time I heard him say something about "Genophaging his cloaca" during my victory hump.
A-anon... you are supposed too fight them off not just let them rape you...
>He didn't know about Krogan hazing rituals so he just let them frick his ass without preparation.
Dude holy shit. Krogans only do that to show dominance. If you fight back or just stand up for yourself, they stand down. I can't believe you let them take you like that. This is like early 21st century Alpha male shit in action.
Why do Quarians always play as a teifling or a Succubus in D&D? and why do they always come up with the most obnoxious backstory very time?
This is a bizarre piece of crossover art - I mean, a bizarre re-interpretation by an alien culture to 'update' a design. I'm sort of impressed and disgusted all at the same time?
... also can we talk for a sec about how much the CRPG fricked up everyone's designs by twee-ing the shit out of them? Like this is clearly based on Arushalae from the CRPG, who is the embodiment of that 'pleading face' emoji.
>Hesitant
>Meek
>Drawn and acted to be childish
>Has never topped in her life, despite being a Succubus
>Clearly given an anime make-over
Compare the virgin CRPG Aru with the chad Adventure Path Aru.
>Confident
>Mature
>Ready for action, some tomboy energy
>Absolutely tops
>Ready to rip a demon's entrails out by hand, because being good doesn't stop you being violent
>Still has demonic eyes and facial tattoos
Much better. Why did they change this. Classic Aru even has lipstick, because she's a succubus and they can have that built in, while modern Aru gets that stupid frickin' pout, I hate it.
Don't get me started on what they did to Wenduag.
This isn't really ontopic, but personally I have to say Arueshalae appearance looks disappointing in both the art for the advenure path and the video game. What a waste of a concept.
same. Why isn't she in a Asari bikini armor?
Humans are so prudish that there fantasy characters can't even wear sexy attires because it's "problematic"
yeah. i legit hate all the wotr portraits. Arue went from succubus tomboy that can wrestle a kalavakus to a anime moe gap that faints if you even touch her.
>Wenduag.
her and Lann suffered the worst redesign imo.
They're not all bad, Daeran's is absolutely fine for who he is, and they managed to preserve Irabeth and a few others.
But the original AP had everyone looking like kinda hardened 30-somethings, and I really appreciate that, especially in women, because so often in media people are either old wizards or young people. WotR wasn't afraid to make people ugly or middle aged in a way that was still really aesthetically appealing because ultimately I'm here for a fantasy game.
Plus Areelu and Baphomet's designs in Owlcat's WotR were stellar, I'll always take CRPG Areelu and Baphomet over their uh... very, VERY 90's/early 00's designs in the AP.
Baphomet sure but Areelu is pretty hot in the AP.
Remember the average Asari body count. Calculated using multiple surveys and datasets collected over the last cycle. Incredible findings. Here, see for yourself:
humans
krogans
turians
elcor
salarians
hanar
>2492 keepers
>666 batarians
>8720 quarians
varren
>6270 klixen
Asari
>7450 drell
>730 pod crabs
pyjaks
>1 prothean
>2 yahg
>4580 vorcha
>0 Volus
you only get 40 years if you're luck and you spent an hour doing this?
Correct.
Why do most Turian refuse to play dnd 20e edition or even age of Gulliman? i just want to befriend one but their TTRPG is the most autistic system ever imagined.
They want roleplay heavy systems with an emphasis on tactics. They don't like winning cause they got stat increases or a bigger sword, the cloacas love to win by spending a hour or two thinking up a strategy.
That, or maid rpg. Every turian I've gotten in my group goes fricking rabid for maid rpg. I think something in their brains goes banana for the lol so random anime bullshit. That or every Turian I've ran for is a secret weaboo. Asari don't get maid rpg. But they love necronica. Krogan don't. The dead world thing kinda makes them testy
Lost my best player cause of that. Poor Lil vorcha never stood a chance
>tfw no long-haired Human gf
life is pain.
>download asari porn in limewire
>definitely _asari_porn.mkv.exe
Looks legit
This is an emergency call. I'm at the FLGS on Zakera Ward 19, and there's this old Krogan dude. He walked in and put 2000 points of Imperial Guard on the field and he's absolutely fricking kicking everyone's ass so hard nobody wants to play. Hurry over here right now, otherwise the store owner will think the event failed and start fricking selling Kepek-Yakshi kits instead. I don't fricking want more Asari "wargame" shit, get over here RIGHT NOW
What? ...are you making prank calls to C-Sec while sand-blasted, kid? You're lucky I'm too busy to come over there and toss your dumb ass in a cell.
I'm fricking serious here. /tg/ stores are rare enough as it is on the Citadel, and I don't want another to end up as some shell catering to the Asari and their glorified intellectual masturbation over actual for-fun gaming.
No thanks bro, I don't want to get assraped by a Krogan like that other anon.
>implying the store doesn't close down to make room for another tropical fish store, Sirta Home & Beauty, Turian Tacos, or This One's Intimate Apparel
the invisible hand of the market hasn't slapped your cheeks enough if you thought this would last
Kill Batarians. Behead Batarians. Roundhouse kick a Batarians into the concrete. Slam dunk a Batarians into the trashcan. Crucify filthy Batarians. Defecate in a Batarians’s food. Launch Batarians into the Omega Relay. Stir fry Batarians in a wok. Toss Batarians into active volcanoes. Feed Batarians Dextro-amino acid foodstuffs. Urinate into a Batarians’s eezo core. Judo throw Batarians into a wood chipper. Gouge Batarians' eyes out. Report Batarians to C-Sec. Karate chop Batarians in half. Curb stomp pregnant Batarians. Trap Batarians in quicksand. Crush Batarians in the trash compactor. Liquefy Batarians in Collector Vessels. Eat Batarians. Dissect Batarians. Exterminate Batarians in the gas chamber. Stomp Batarians skulls with steel toed boots. Cremate Batarians in the oven. Indoctrinate Batarians. Mandatory abortions for Batarians. Grind Batarians fetuses in the garbage disposal. Drown Batarians in fried chicken grease. Vaporize Batarians with anti-matter. Kick old Batarians down the stairs. Feed Batarians to Varren. Force Batarians to play Adept. Slice Batarians with an omni-blade. Destroy Batarian colonies with asteroids.
Salarians make the best games. They manage to be both fast and mechanicaly complex.
sorry but not all of us have the phd in mathematics required for those games
The only Salarian games I've played were Chemspace IV and Signal State. Have they made any tabletop games?
It's rumored that the infamous L.E.T.H.A.L. was made by Salarians. They might not seem like it, but Salarians are probably bigger pervs than humans.
I don't have Adhd to enjoy their games. still, their action game are very fun.
My Asari girlfriend got raped by a pack of Vorcha after she dressed in a skimpy little thong again. I told her before to dress modestly but she laughed at me and ignored me. And the craziest thing is that she doesn't even seem to care she got raped. I'm so mad, should I break up with her?
yes. you should have pumped and dumped her already. Turian are patrician xeno girls
>The venereal disease infected parasite I share with several other males, including vorcha
FTFY
You should get tested. Make sure she didn't give you any STIs. Dump her and move to some colony where no one knows you're a dogfricker by proxy.
Hey guys, I've been working at a security firm that recruits across the Council races. One of my Turian co-workers (female) has been leaving meat on my desk and has been following me back to my apartment for more than a few nights now. I feel like she's hunting me, but I don't know why. When I talk to her, she shows no anger or anything. She also has been touching me for no reason.
Am I going to be murdered?
She both likes you, and thinks you're shit at hunting. Sort of like a cat, but with armored chitin and a cloaca that can give you an allergic reaction.
Take her on a safari date.
In 2 more weeks Reapers arrive....
Cease the panic about reapers. Nothing ever happens.
>turian colonies for turians
>asari colonies for asari
>vorcha colonies for vorcha
>human colonies for everyone
We must secure the existence of our species and a future for human children
Sorry, too addicted to Krogan male human female porn to support you.
I'm new here. u think the Illusiveman would be alright with me having a turian gf?
Reminder. Your LGS is and always will be shit until at least a dozen Vorcha have died in it. Doesn't have to be one event, or a regular thing, but the rust colored stain where an elcor smashed the B/R playing vermin should be enshrined.
How the frick do i explain 199 years of 40k lore and retcons to some turians I hang out with and where can i get the stimms needed to keep me from kicking the bucket trying to go over everything?
just show them the after action reports, that's all they ever read. also they will give you the stims, since offloading their supply will save them a disciplinary hearing
Quarians > geth
>real people are better than genocidal machines
Wow buddy, what prompted you to say something so brave yet so controversial?
Geth will literally never forget a rule and they always know what they will do on their turn. you will never find a better player if you like wargames
Just fricking kill me. Seriously everyone will be better of with me dead, the third age burns in the back of my skull. My mounting failures will drag us all to our deaths.
>be on pilgrimage
>denied extranet omni-mmo key
>kiosk worker gets pissy
>some c-sec asari asks what I've stolen
>explain I just want to buy game key
>she sighs and walks away
>get invited to one of those roll game things by a passing human
>sure why not
>show up and was clearly not expected
>guy who invited me makes it awkward the whole time
>thinly veiled attempts to get into my suit
>leave end at the of night
>get a message inviting me back in seven earth days noting the person who invited me is no longer welcome
I dont understand humans. What just happened?
The anon who invited you had probably already done some shit before. You, however, despite being an uninvited guest with no roll game experience somehow made yourself into a decent player.
Congratulations on your new human friend group. Bring your own snacks; I had a Turian peanut once and was shitting my guts out for several days.